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On Board: Dr. Pat Allen
Mission: Love and Relationships
Dr. Pat Allen, known as the Love Doctor, has been featured all over for her relationship expertise. She has made many appearances on the Oprah Winfrey Show, CNN, Bravo, Millionaire Matchmaker, Fox 11 News, and many more.
In addition to her media appearances, Pat is a bestselling author, a speaker, a psychotherapist, and a communication and relationship expert. She has written many books, including Getting to “I Do,” Staying Married and Loving It, and The Truth About Men. Her newest book, It’s a Man’s World and a Woman’s Universe, will be released soon.
Connect With Pat:
The Mission Log:
- [01:45] – Pat starts things off by telling us the basics about herself: she’s 82, widowed, with four children, seven grandchildren, and a boyfriend.
- [2:14] – What got Pat interested in relationships? She answers, then explains how she bases her study of relationships on science.
- [03:24] – We hear about the differences between men and women in biological terms, with Pat explaining that all fetuses are female for a few days. She then lists several famous men who have (or had) the brain structure of a woman.
- [08:18] – What’s the best way to deal with a man? Pat’s answer depends on whether the man in question is right-handed or left-handed.
- [09:36] – What are the things that keep single women up at night? “They haven’t decided to be either a woman with a career or a career woman,” Pat replies, then elaborates on what she means.
- [10:46] – Pat offers up two pledges, one for men and one for women. The differences between the two reveal the differences between the genders, which she uses to clarify the problem she discussed a moment ago in her friend’s relationship.
- [13:22] – We hear about how women shift into becoming more like men during and after menopause.
- [14:27] – What advice does Pat have for young, entrepreneurial women who have a hard time finding a man?
- [16:28] – Gay couples have the same energy as heterosexual couples, Pat explains, with gay couples having a top (left-lobe) man and a bottom (feminine) man. Lesbian couples involve a butch woman and a femme. She then goes on to talk about codependency, and discusses The Evolution of Desire by David Buss.
- [21:02] – How can a single woman feel and be more attractive and desirable? Pat’s answer is to be healthy (which she acknowledges may take a lot of doctors). She then discusses how Eric Berne tweaked Freud’s ideas.
- [24:42] – Part of the journey for single women is to get in touch with the inner child.
- [26:34] – If you and your husband are running a business together, you can make an appointment to be two men, but it needs to be a business. It’s when you’re trying to be a couple that you need to be a man and a woman.
- [29:14] – What is it like to act like a woman in a relationship?
- [30:10] – Pat discusses online dating, and gives more advice on being a woman in a relationship with a man, including not to mother him and to acquiesce to his decisions.
- [32:47] – What should a woman have in her online dating profile? Pat’s main piece of advice is to market what you want to be in a relationship.
- [33:52] – When should a single woman have sex with her date? “When she has a contract. Either that or she’s a prostitute and she’s gonna get her money.” Pat then advises women to decide whether they want to get laid or paid, and make their dating decisions accordingly.
- [35:30] – Before you have a contract with a man, you can do anything except penile insertion.
- [37:10] – Orion asks how we can trust men. Pat answers that she doesn’t trust anybody.
- [38:42] – If you give real men free sex, they’ll enjoy it, but men don’t marry vaginas. If they do marry you after you had a passionate courtship, though, don’t be surprised if he asks, “Who is he?” the first time you come home five minutes late.
- [39:26] – What is Pat’s best dating advice?
- [40:40] – What is the main problem? Men are in charge of junk (like buying and selling) while we women are in charge of the air of love (accepting, rejecting, and tolerating).
- [42:25] – A woman should wait until she’s been with somebody for at least a year before getting married.
- [43:14] – Pat’s advice for single ladies coping with Valentine’s Day is to go dancing. They should then flirt with their eyes; let the man do the speaking. Just look in his eyes and smile.
- [46:45] – What are Pat’s three tips for living a stellar life? She recommends the book Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill. Second, she advises taking care of your body. Finally, know how to negotiate (not intimidate) and seduce people.
- [48:08] – Pat talks about her show, which is on talk radio every Thursday from 5-6 pm.
Your Pre-Flight Checklist:
- Ladies, when dealing with right-handed men, try not to combine feelings and thoughts; they can handle one at a time, but not both.
- Treat your body in a healthy way, especially if you’re looking for a man. Men pick with their eyes, Pat explains, so respect your body.
- If you’re a career woman most of the time, practice transitioning into becoming a woman with a career outside of your work hours.
Links and Resources:
Dr. Pat Allen’s radio show
@DrPat_Allen on Twitter
DrPatAllen2 on Facebook
Getting to “I Do”
Staying Married and Loving It
The Truth About Men
The Evolution of Desire by David Buss
Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill
The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge.