A Personal Note from Orion

As women, we have so many more barriers to break through than men, especially when it comes to our careers and making money.  The inequality between men and women’s pay is still  stuck in ancient times at 79 percent -meaning women get paid 79 percent of what men get paid when they do the same job. 

But you know what, we have the power to change this.  We have the power to speak up and not let money control our lives.  We even have the power to make money work for us, and break through these barriers to become financially independent and wildly successful.  Kelly Fidel is a life coach who has helped hundreds of women break through and turn their business from generating thousands to generating millions. 

Because the truth is, women are the ones who drive the economy.  Making money is only hard when you are still unclear about your path.  By finding your way, and overcoming the hurdles that women face in the real world, you can shatter through the glass ceilings.  

 

 

About Today’s Show

‏‏Hello, and welcome to Stellar Life podcast! Over the last 25 years, Kelly has helped her clients increase revenues from thousands of dollars into millions, creating profitable programs in trainings, hosting life events, refining message to market, land speaking engagement with business groups to Fortune 100 while re-positioning as a brand leader in their marketplace. Kelly is a real business strategist, turnaround expert, and thought leader who understands the critical nature of a custom business for you. Kelly’s honored by Fortune 100 companies and industries as “Entrepreneur of the Year” and many other honors and accolades. I am so honored to have you on the show. I am so happy that you’re on the show. You’re a powerhouse. You’re a true powerhouse leader, magnificent diva extraordinaire!

‏‏Wow! I love that! That’s the best intro ever, man! I love that. How are you? It’s such an honor to be here.

‏‏I know I am honored to have you. I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for taking the time to share with us all this incredible knowledge because today, we’re going to talk about women and money. Two things that not always go together. You’re going to bring it home for us, right?

‏‏Yeah, absolutely! I love it. Those are great topics, right? Women and money-that’s really one topic, but, yeah, love it!

‏‏Mm-hmm. So, your introduction is impressive, but I know that there are more impressive things about you that people need to know about. Can you share a little bit about yourself and a little bit more about who you work with?

‏‏Yeah, absolutely! I’ll just give kind of the CliffsNotes version about me. People can always check out more of that later. I was raised by a single mom, and we didn’t have a lot of money, and I wanted to buy a pair of shoes when I was nine-years-old. My mom said that she had this amazing idea. She’s like, “Go pick up avocados at your aunt’s house, and go sell them door-to-door, and make money and buy shoes,” and I was like, “God, that’s such a great idea!” I did that. I went and picked the avocados, went door-to-door, and sold them. I love sales and selling, and I think it’s because of that first experience where I would go door-to-door. I was always looking like, “Do they have a dog? Do they have a cat? What’s their house look like inside?” I had a great time, but I realized I didn’t really want to go onesie-twosie the clients so, I stumbled on a cul-de-sac, where all of my ideal clients were, and I sold all of these avocados at once. I got my shoes, and I was hooked on selling so, I absolutely love sales, selling, and anything that has to do a deal-making. What really happened was, after that, I climbed the corporate ladder and found myself in a C-suite position as an executive sitting in the boardrooms and competing with some of the most powerful men in the world for the win. What I also found is that, so many women and cool men really struggled with sales, selling, owning their value, or anything that had to do with making money, and just owning their value. That’s actually how No Glass Ceiling was born. Today, I work with lots of different clients: private clients, groups, entrepreneurs, small businesses, professional athletes, NFL, Warner Brothers, Mercedes Benz, and all these different, different groups of companies, but my favorite and my true mission is to help a million women, make one change to cause a ripple effect around the world because I really believe that women can create that change far greater than truly anybody else. So, that’s me in a nutshell.

Women can create that change far greater than truly anybody else. Click To Tweet

‏‏I love that! Okay, let me be one in a million. I love avocados. I do not like selling avocados.

‏‏You don’t have to anymore. Right.

‏‏Yeah, but how do you fall in love with selling? How do you tap into place where selling doesn’t sound like a dirty word or make you feel-like, when I think about the word “selling,” it just makes me cringe. It makes my whole body feel uncomfortable, and it feels like I’m selling. I don’t want to sell.

‏‏Yeah. That’s a great question, right? It’s a conversation that comes up a lot. When I hear “sell” without being sales-y, I’m actually the opposite. I have no idea what that means. Sales-y-what does that even mean, and who made up that word? Because in the world that I come from for over 25 years, I only knew high-ticket selling. Working with clients-I mean, we would do million dollar deals and it was just like doing a $2,000 deal, right? It’s just no big deal. That’s what we did. But I think at the core what happens is that, when you sell with integrity-so, sales and selling, to me, is an honor. It’s an art form. When you sell an integrity-when you see someone that needs help-when you know that what you do can get them results, and you know that by working with them, it’s going to make a difference in their life, there is a value exchanged, and there’s a knowledge-check transfer. People trade knowledge for money, right? Preferably. I mean, I’m not talking trades here. I’m talking real business. I think selling hardcore-old school sales tactics, high pressure selling-I believe that it just has this kind of contrail effect or this hangover effect where if someone ever had a bad experience, they’ve focused on, “All sales sucks.” It’s kind of like dating some guy that did you dirty, and now, all men suck, and it’s really not the case, right? There are really amazing people that, let’s face it-if a sale does not occur, a business goes out of business. Even a non-profit. They have to go out and get money. I don’t think it’s so much the selling part that bothers people, I really think it’s the money part. That “money” is a dirty word. Money is the root of all evil. When in actuality, money is a blessing. And it’s everywhere. It’s a commodity. It’s truly like rice, and it’s everywhere. I could go on and on about that, but-

‏‏Yeah, please go on and on about that because this is fascinating. I mean, for those who didn’t get to sell million dollar deals, how do you make that switch in the mindset?

‏‏It’s interesting because I was just talking to a group a couple of days ago with 70 entrepreneurs, and one of the responses that I gave is, first of all, as a kid growing up, single mom, and not a lot of money-I mean, I didn’t have anything to lose. I didn’t have any pre-conceived notions. As I went into corporate, and I started to sell, I just grew up, if you will, in business knowing that these are the services, this is the result that the client’s going to get, and here’s the value exchange, right? And I didn’t care if it was $50,000, $500,000, $5-million, $50-million, or whatever. I think some of it has to do with, in my opinion, mindset. Selling is 100% mindset and with that umbrella, comes understanding value, right? If someone is listening right now and they say, “All right, I’ve never sold a million dollar deal. I just want to sell a $5,000 deal,” right? The exchange is the same. The value that you bring to that client-in another words, if someone invest $5,000, can they get $5,000-$15,000 worth of result from that investment? Sometimes it’s not just money. If someone invests $5,000 or time or whatever, can they add time? So, we take care of our bodies. We’re healthy. Can we add years on our life? Absolutely. Sometimes, time is the actual exchange. I think it boils down to really understanding and harnessing the ability to serve, and to serve at the highest level possible. I don’t want to keep going on and on, but I want to share with you that, women is a $19-trillion dollar market so, women make 85% of all online buying decisions, and you know, you say that in a group, and the guys go, “Oh, ha-ha, of course I do! Of course I do!” and while I know a lot of men who target the women market.

‏‏Right.

‏‏I want women to know who are listening and even cool men out there, right?

‏‏Mm-hmm. Because you work with women and cool men.

‏‏Yeah, absolutely! I have worked with women and cool men, right? It’s all good. As women-talk about women for a second-women have a ton of skill set. We’re super talented. We do amazing things. We’re wives, girlfriends, and significant others. We’re business women. We’re friends. We’re confidants. We’re nurses. We do all of these different things and juggling things all the time. Especially if people have had a job or they’ve tried something in entrepreneurship and it hasn’t worked, they go to start something new and, literally, erase any former skill set, any former talent, or expertise that they have, and I hear all the time, people say, “Well, I don’t have any testimonials,” or “I don’t have any proof,” or “I don’t have this,” or “I don’t have that,” and it’s like, “Hello, you’re grown! You didn’t just fall off the turnip truck, right? You have skill set. What was it? What companies did you impact when you worked with them? What have you done that can create results for people?” Women get amnesia, and they kind of forget the past, and they feel like they have to start over. I just want women, especially, to know that’s not the case. When you sow with integrity and you have something of value and service to offer, you don’t need to hard sell. You don’t need to slam deals and things like that. I mean, unless you’re in a boardroom, which there may be a couple of corporate women out there, but that’s a different animal. You can truly own your power and sell with integrity and pride knowing that you’re about to affect change that’s going to cause a ripple effect, and that’s the cool part.

‏‏Right, I love that! And for somebody who have a lot of pre-conceived notions about money and sales, what are the tools that you’re using with your clients to help them break through?

‏‏Okay, cool! As far as money goes, we’ll talk about that one first. Money is a mindset, right? I want you to think about money-when we talk about money-you probably heard of “currency,” right? Money is currency. Well, some of these words and frameworks have come from currency much like a river of water where the current is flowing so too is money. Money. Currency. The current. Deal flow. The word “deal flow” from Wall Street-money moves around the world so, money is much like water, right? It must always be in movement. It is truly, in my humble opinion, a living breathing thing. It is to be respected and likewise, money needs to respect all of us as well. One of the cool exercises that I have my clients go through-I can share this with you is that, first of all, to understand that money is like rice. It’s like a commodity. It’s everywhere truly. There is an abundance. It is like air. It is truly everywhere. And it is through limited thinking that we don’t realize that it truly is everywhere so, here’s the exercise: You can do this with a friend or you can write it on a piece of paper, and first, I want you to have money talk to you so, if, let’s say, you are money-this sounds psychotic, I know, but believe me, the breakthroughs are amazing-if you are money and money is talking to you, what would money say to you? Will money say, “I love you. You’ve been good to me. You’re a great steward of money. You take care of me. You love me and respect me?” or will money say, “Hey, you have neglected me. You use me and abuse me. You think I’m always going to be there for you. I’m not. Then, when I’m not there, you get mad and you curse at me. Then, you get me back, and you use me and abuse me, and then you throw me to the side, and you don’t take care of me?” Having that conversation and then, flipping the coin in saying-now, allow money to talk to you, and have money tell you what it wants. “I just want you to love and appreciate me. I want you to use me for good. I want you to understand how powerful I am, and that I can create a lot of change for you and others if you’ll let me.” That’s just one of several examples, but having that distinct exercise in truly understanding money, right? Money really does want to work hard for us. It should be the hardest working employee. We just have to treat it right, okay? I’m not talking foo-foo. No disrespect, but I’m not talking like the Law of Attraction, “Let me think it into existence, and it’s going to be like a puppet“, cause that’s not my style respectfully, right? I’m a football mom so I’m pretty direct and whatnot, but really getting it, you know what I mean? Come on, now! Just understanding the power of money and that this is a real business, and to step into that power and own it, and draw a line in the sand because I can promise everyone listening, if you fast forward 10-30 years from now in your life, and you’re sitting outside in a rocker, and you’re looking out over the horizon or to the beach or into the mountains, the people that you’re worried about today are not going to care about you at all. They’re not going to remember you or think about you so, why put that much energy into all of the “What are people going to think? What am I going to do? What if I screwed up?”

‏‏That is so powerful. Wow.

‏‏Stop the drama, and just go for it.

‏‏Yeah, and it reminds me, I had an interview with Morgana Rae and-

‏‏Oh yeah! The Money Honey!

‏‏Yeah! She’s all about “make money your lover…” Listeners, you can just check her episode. It was very interesting as well.

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏And you know, you do not work with the Law of Attraction or say that you don’t, but you definitely work with the energy of money because you respect the energy of money, and that’s the key thing. I’m studying Kabbalah right now and-

‏‏Yes!

‏‏One of the concept that our teacher taught us is to respect the energy of money. That means, if you see a cent on the floor, don’t ignore it. Keep it because the energy that’s in a million dollars is the same energy that’s in this cent. It’s just the same energy, but the quantity is different. So, you want to respect every cent. How do you respect money, for example?

‏‏Well, it’s interesting. I don’t know where this came from. Maybe one of your listeners can comment on the post when they listen to this, but if you ever find a penny out of the blue, right? We always find pennies it seems like, and on the penny-have you ever heard the phrase, “Pennies from heaven?”

‏‏No.

‏‏Okay, so there’s this phrase called “Pennies from heaven” right? When you find a penny, pick it up, and put it in your shoe for luck. That’s another saying, but on the penny, it says, “In God We Trust.”

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏And so, that is where the “Pennies from heaven” have come from, or so the fable goes. But as far as energy goes-I believe that the Law of Attraction only works with the Law of Action.

‏‏Right.

‏‏And the Law of Inaction gets no results.

‏‏Correct.

‏‏As far as money goes and energy, I forgot your question-I’m sorry.

‏‏Oh, I was asking you about how do you, personally, respect money.

‏‏Oh, how do I respect money! I mean, I just feel like money-I am the ward or the steward of my own financial blessings that it allows me the space to contribute, give back, and serve people. I mean, we have the No Glass Ceiling Foundation so every year, we sponsor women into a variety of different programs including the No Glass Ceiling event. I work with women at Orangewood Abuse Women’s and Children’s Foundation-

‏‏Wow.

‏‏I’ve done that off and on for 20 years whether they have an event. I love helping women in need, that, if they can start a business-sometimes they can’t get out of either an abusive relationship or a struggling or homeless or near-homeless situation. I mean, women are drivers of the economy in the world, and even Warren Buffet acknowledges that. Western women will change the face of the world, and I believe that so I have a lot of respect for it. I also have a lot of demand for it. That, it needs to be put to good use, and that the good use creates change and impacts someone else’s life.

‏‏Right.

‏‏Because I can’t take it with me.

‏‏Correct.

‏‏And my boys are 18 and 21, and they would go and spend it on God knows what.

‏‏Got it! What if a woman who is listening right now is struggling with the “Who am I to have this abundance in my life?” or “I don’t deserve a lot of money because of whatever and whatever.” There is an imprint like an emotional imprint.

‏‏There is an imprint, and it typically stems back from childhood so sometimes, it’s a reflection-going back into typically, three to eight years old of where in someone’s life were they in a situation? Typically, that happens because as children, they don’t have the coping mechanisms. They don’t have the ability to create any adjustment or change in anything that’s happening. For example, if parents are fighting, or if there’s something hostile happening, or if everyone is super poor and broke. It’s a burden to children and sometimes, people don’t realize that because they feel like it’s their fault or that they want to do something to help, but they can’t. I mean, they’re just kids, right? Understand and acknowledge that, sometimes, there are things that happen, and bad things do happen to good people, but at the end of the day, and this is like a bigger, longer conversation than we could possibly have-

Understand and acknowledge that, sometimes, there are things that happen, and bad things do happen to good people. Click To Tweet

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏But it goes back to original fear-how we’re born with an original fare, and being able to harness and understand where that fear comes from. The second piece, I would say, to close that out is to really get that it’s not about us. I would say to a client, “It’s not about you.” When someone starts to freak out and they’re like, “Oh, I don’t have this and how are they going to pay for this, and what about that?” That’s all drama attached to ego, and when ego is talking, it clouds everything so to really remove yourself from the situation and say, “If I have a glass of water, and that person needs a glass of water, and they’re willing to do an exchange, give me a dollar and I’ll give you the bottle of water, what’s wrong with that?” Nothing. By truly taking a look at the data only and saying, “I have this in exchange for that,” and it gets this result, that is one of the keys to start to move forward to owning the value.

‏‏Mm-hmm. That’s beautiful. When was the first time, besides the incredible avocado story that I love, when was the first time you were like, “I’m kind of good at sales. I’m the best!” I mean, when did that realization happen?

‏‏Gosh! I mean, it’s funny because I do remember in my 20’s closing one of the first deals, which was a six-figure deal. It was a little small company, but it was a six-figure deal. And I thought I was the bomb. I was like, “Yeah, baby!” Then, that becomes the new normal. The next deal is 250 or the next deal is 500,000 or whatever that is, but let’s face it-when I was nine-years-old and sold my first avocado for $0.25, I thought I was the bomb so I went to the next door and I was like, “Twenty-five cents each or five for a dollar.” Negotiating-I don’t know where that came from. Then, they bought, and I was excited. That becomes the new normal, right?

‏‏Right.

‏‏I think as we grow-I mean, the largest deal I did was a billion dollar deal. It took a year.

‏‏Oh my God!

‏‏Yeah, and that was in corporate. People always ask, and it was a while ago, and it’s fascinating and it’s fun, but it doesn’t put food on the table if you’re listening to this, right? My success does not pay your bills, and so, that’s why, what I do, I try to give as much duplicable knowledge transfer and success tips and tools to people as well as what you know-you were at No Glass Ceiling last year or to clients because selling and making money is only hard when you’re confused. I would say opt out of everything except Orion’s podcast and a couple of key things-

‏‏Except Stellar Life!

‏‏Except Stellar Life, right! Stop looking everywhere else. I mean, the hardest thing that people can do today because of the internet is to be still and look inside and say, “I am powerful beyond measure because I am a woman of integrity. I am a woman of love, of peace, of great energy, and of power,” and start to write down how awesome you are. Then, go out and make mistakes. Go out and sell and don’t close the deal. Go out and talk to somebody and bugger it all up and make booboos and have fun with it and know that it’s a learning.

‏‏Right. How do you deal with failure?

‏‏I like to fail because it tells me that there’s opportunity for success. I don’t do everything perfectly and some failures hurt a little more than others. I mean, I am human, right?

‏‏Almost.

‏‏I’m still a girl! One of the things that I do if something just flat out doesn’t work right is, I observe it. Is it an isolated incident or is it a pattern? If it happens three times, it’s a pattern to me. I’ll record a sales call and listen back. I do make my clients do that. It’s one of the most painful things people can do, because you actually have to listen to yourself, and then you realize, “My goodness! Did I say that? Oh my God, I talk too much. Oh my goodness, this didn’t go well!” but that’s how we learned, right?

‏‏Yeah. I, sometimes, listen to my own podcast and I’m like, “Did I say it and did I say it in that way? Oh god! I forgot the “are,” and I mixed the “is,” and whatever grammar mistake I made.” That didn’t sound very well, but I definitely learned from that for sure.

‏‏You are beautiful inside and out, and I absolutely love your accent. Listen to how hard we are on ourselves, right? I mean, we’re not in the White House where we have to speak all proper.

‏‏And even in the White House. I mean, Donald Trump, please. People don’t speak properly anymore anyway.

‏‏Yeah. I mean, wouldn’t it be fun to walk into one of those meetings and go, “Word!”

‏‏Word! I mean, Obama did a “mic drop” so-

‏‏Hey, whatever floats your boat, right? I mean, times are changing. But, really, to just acknowledge that fear is not a personal attack and failure is not a personal attack on yourself. It’s simply a skill set that needs to be for honed in and polished up a little bit.

‏‏Mm-hmm. What motivates you?

‏‏I would say, I mean, my family. My children. A lot of what I do is for them and for other people. My legacy is to leave a Leadership Academy.

‏‏Nice!

‏‏Yes. There are people, especially entrepreneurs, who don’t want to go to college. They don’t subscribe to a traditional education, and if I can allow them a place to come in and, literally, full immersion for six straight months as if they’re working a full time job like, 10 hours a day and walk out with the skill, the knowledge, and the mentorship that they need long after I’m gone to carry on, then that’s one of the things that I do, but today, I mean most relevant is that, it’s really important for me that people who have the desire. I mean, that’s one thing that I look for in people that either I work with or that I know-it’s desire. I’ll take desire over an MBA every day of the week-

‏‏Nice.

‏‏Because with desire comes change, and with change comes the ripple effect around the world. Just really helping entrepreneurs to unlock their own passion, power, and their gift. I call it the GIFT. The God-Infused Fearless Talent that they have. Money comes. When you do right, the money will come. Everybody wants to get to a million bucks, and when you get there, then you’re like, “Okay, well, now, I want to two, three, or five,” and then you get there and you’re like, “Wow!” The fantasy is better than the reality. Now, what am I going to do to contribute back into the world? That number is different for everybody, but I love helping people get to that place where they say, “Okay, now help me build my legacy model,” and that’s the best.

‏‏Yes, and you helped people to go from thousands to millions. What’s the catalyst for change? What’s happening there? What’s that decisive moment where people go from deciding to go to millions and they’re able to do it? How do you do that?

‏‏Yeah, how do you get to a million dollars? There’s a couple things. I mean, a lot of people say, “I want to get a million dollars, but it seems really scary,” and so, I like to find out what is the highest number that someone has hit. If they haven’t hit six-figure yet, if someone has not made $100,000, let’s get you to $60,000-$100,000 first. Then, they want to get to 300,000. Well, have you made 100,000? Yes. Have you made 250,000? No. Well, let’s get you to 250,000 before we get you to 300,000 so, there’s a mindset shift that occurs at 100,000. Again at 500,000. At a million. Then, at three million, and 10 million. There are these different gates or gateways to the knowledge, the drive, the desire, and the skill set. I mean, what gets you to $100,000 is definitely not going to get you to a million, and what got you to a million will not get you to multi-million, and that’s just seven-figure. I mean, getting to eight-figure is a whole different animal. We’re taking companies from ten million to a hundred million. That’s a different animal too. But if we just talk about the basics, I have helped women. Women and people have come to me and they have a business that does three million, four million, or five million. They’ve got a lot of employees and a lot of debt and they go, “Crap! I don’t’ want to do this. I would be happier making $800,000 a year and keeping 90% of it. Can you help me wind down my company?” Yeah, absolutely! In 60 days, I helped people do that. Just had a gal in the interior design space with five employees. I’m pushing this over the seven-figure mark and just heavy expenses, no time, super stressful, and it’s like, “What if we could pull this business back, and you can have the time freedom to spend time with the family and make a great living?” Everybody’s not hardwired to make a million, and at some point, you grow in scale, and you’ve got to add talent whether that is employees or agencies or outsourcing firms or something so the systems processes and infrastructure have to be there. But I would say it goes back to desire and mindset. I’ve had clients come to me and they will say, “I have never made a million dollars. I’ve made $930,000. I’ve made $980,000” and for years, they can’t hit a million. That’s a different conversation. That goes back to what happened when you were three, four, five, six, or seven years old.

‏‏Oh, wow.

‏‏We unlock it and then, boom! Like, flip. In two months, they’re over the million mark, right?

‏‏So, you’re a psychologist as well?

‏‏I would not say that, no, but I would definitely say that a lot of professional athletes come to me because I understand mindset. I understand the power of making a mind shift. And really harnessing the power of you.

‏‏Right.

‏‏People don’t see their own blind spot.

‏‏So true. With everything that you do, achieved, achieving, and will continue to achieve, how do you find work-life balance? Is it a thing? Work-life balance?

‏‏Well, it’s a good cliché, isn’t it? It’s funny. I don’t know if there’s any perfect balance. The word “balance” is something different for everybody, right? People strive to have, I don’t know, they say they strive to have balance, but I think what they strive to have is freedom and less stress. For me, I’m super clear. I work Monday through Thursday. I start at nine in the morning. I take my last client call at three if I’m working with a client or I have a meeting or something like that. I do not work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday so if someone needs me, it either waits until Monday, or they need to get with me from Monday through Thursday. That allows people-corporate clients, as well-to prioritize, plan, and run their business properly, right? That’s one of the things. There are moments-I mean, the closer I get to my event-my hair is on fire, and I’m moving, but that’s not the norm, right? It lights me up, I dig it, I love it, and I do that for the people who come, right? I’m so excited, and we just got to get everything done. There’s this domino effect the closer you get to any event. The biggest thing I can say, Orion, is look at revenue-generating activity. Scrolling through Facebook, cleaning up the desktop, looking at email, cleaning the laundry, and doing all of that does not move any way closer to their goal. What is it that you’re doing, and does it move you closer to your goal? Taking an hour and reading a book that inspires you-not like, Fifty Shades of Grey-

‏‏That inspires me.

‏‏That inspires me too. I’d rather just watch the movie because it’s just easier.

‏‏I totally get it.

‏‏Less time! You know what I mean? If you’re business driver is to do X, pick up a book, listen to Stellar Life podcast-I mean, do something instead of wasting time. The volume of time that people waste is obscene, and it’s a shame. Because you look back and go, “Wow, where did the time go? I’m so busy.” No one should ever say they’re busy.

‏‏Right, and you seem to have very strong boundaries. You have boundaries with your time and you have boundaries with people-was it always like that or did you have to develop it for yourself?

‏‏It was not always like that. I mean, for a long time, I was the girl that said “yes.” “Yes, I can do that for you.” “Yes, I can make that happen.” “Yes, we can do this.” “Yes, let’s go here.” Even with girlfriends, “Yes, we’ll go there,” even though I’m like, “Oh, God! I do not want to go there.” It’s just like “yes, yes, yes” as a people pleaser, as someone that really wanted to just always be in a happy place made me unhappy. It’s a while ago so, I just really started my own journey of personal growth and professional development. I really started to take a look and say, “Wait a second. What’s going on?” I would say, the very first time where I started to say, “Hold on. I need to control my time,” was when my oldest son, who’s 21, was born. I was eight months pregnant with my first son, Cameron, and my mom passed away in my arms from cancer.

‏‏I’m so sorry.

‏‏Literally, literally. I realized, about a month later after he was born, how precious life was. Through the years, just really out of necessity, I dialed some things back because kids do that, and then realization recently did it again, where I made some significant business changes that are actually for the better. I mean, significantly better. I think as we grow, as we change, and we evolve, we realize that sometimes value doesn’t mean more. Value simply means value.

‏‏Mm-hmm. Yeah, that’s probably very impactful-losing your mom and having a new baby. Really understanding how precious every moment is. It’s profound. It’s profound because we get it conceptually, but you’ve really got it. That moment-you really got it. It was visceral for you.

‏‏Completely. I mean, I don’t want to get on the sad train, but just this past year, my youngest son who’s 17-he’s going to be 18 in a week-his best friend-my son was not in the car, but they were hit by a drunk driver, and he was pinned in the car and died in the car.

‏‏My God!

‏‏Two months later, which was a week before No Glass Ceiling, my mother-in-law who I was very close with passed away, and then just last month in May, another one of my son’s best friends had knee surgery from a football injury and, literally, a blood clot went into his heart. He didn’t know it, and he died on the football field.

‏‏Oh God!

‏‏And it was that funeral, and seeing the boys dressed in their football jerseys and signing the casket, and then having to conduct my Mastermind the very next day, for me, those three events that happened all in one year, it was kind of the icing on the cake, the third one, and I thought to myself, “You know, where is my business and my life at today?” because we have to look at it. Tragedy gets our attention. God will bring you to your knees and get your attention like whatever that is source will get your attention, and give you what I call the “pain sandwich,” right? I always ask for physical signs because I don’t listen very well and I don’t pay attention so I need a physical sign, and I always get them. Not the kind that I want sometimes. I would never wish tragedy on anyone, but it is oftentimes through their external occurrences that it allows us to look at our own life and say, “How can I be a better version of myself?”

‏‏Mm-hmm. Yeah, that’s extraordinary because I remember, when I attended No Glass Ceiling-I think that’s where you lost your mother-in-law, was it?

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏And you performed. You were onstage. You were funny, energetic, wise, and nobody knew. How did you manage to do that?

‏‏Until the last day. Well, it was a really rough time. I mean, Day Zero. When everybody was arriving, we are setting up. All of our rigging and lighting and all that stuff gets trucked in and the teams are there, and everyone was setting up, and that was the day my husband picked out his mom’s casket, and then came over to the event and helped us set up.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏And people ask me, “How do you get through that? How do you honor her and still get through that?” I will say this: For me, I’m good at compartmentalizing, but more importantly, my love for the people who are coming is far greater and far more important than how I feel myself. It would be extremely selfish for me to not play full out and give 100% because people come to No Glass Ceiling, of course, to make great shifts in their business, change their mindset, learn about selling and high-ticket selling, closing deals, marketing, and all these great things. Some people walk in with nothing more than hope. And my God-that’s the greatest gift of all. People have come, and I have this incredible blessing and opportunity to serve them at the highest level.

‏‏Yes, wow! Amazing! So, you actually get out of yourself and put all your attention on the other person? That is true also for everyday life, not only when it’s this extreme occasion to deal with your relationship. Get out of yourself, go, and think about the other person. Even with your business-think about your clients. Get out of your own stinking thinking and then think about them, and that will shift the business or the relationship. It will able you to go on stage and perform in front of a whole room while everything is happening. All that happens in the background.

‏‏Yeah, and it’s not fake or phony, right?

‏‏No.

‏‏I mean, I am honored that people arrived. I love to hug them. When they come and they’re screaming and like, “Oh my God!” and I’m like, “Just stop! I’m just a person, right?” We have a great time, and we’re doing a glass walk in a board break. “We’re going to do some really cool stuff!”

‏‏Do you really? Okay.

‏‏Yeah. You have to be there! You have to be there, it’s going to be just crazy.

‏‏That’s interesting because I walked on fire, I broke an arrow on my neck, and I broke boards-

‏‏Yes!

‏‏I never walked on glass.

‏‏It’s extraordinary!

‏‏Ouch!

‏‏It’s extraordinary. It’s amazing! I’ve facilitated this experience with a company five times-at five of my different events, and it’s really amazing. You don’t have to walk on the broken glass. For anyone who’s listening going, “Holy crap! I’m not going to walk on broken glass!” You can observe. It’s an incredible breakthrough experience, and you want to talk about powerful because this isn’t like we go collect beer bottles on the beach and break it in a trash bag and then dump it on a lane. This is special glass that’s manufactured properly, clean, sanitized, and the whole nine yards. I mean, it’s a legit personal development exercise. But, yeah, I mean I’m really excited. I’m really excited about this year. We’ve got a completely new content. Some very cool stuff!

‏‏Yeah, I’m excited about that too. That sounds crazy awesome!

‏‏Yeah!

‏‏What’s the worst money advice you’ve ever heard?

‏‏There are so many. God, just today, one of my clients, somebody came to them and said, “I will pay you a consulting fee. We’re going to download all of your intellectual property out of your head, and you’re going to help us create a certification for my 2,000 franchises.”

‏‏Oh my God, really?

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏Let me use you and lose you and-

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏Yup, and not even give you a kiss in the morning. It was really bad. I said, “Don’t do it. Let’s talk. There’s a way to structure a licensing deal without doing this.” I know who the company and the people are so, it would be like a seven-figure deal. She’s never done a six-figure deal. I said, “Let me help you structure this deal and negotiate it,” because they’re trying to position the company for sale, and it’s like, no way! The company that comes in and buys this franchise, they own your IP, and they can actually come back to you and say, “Hey, you can’t do what you do,” because that’s their stuff when it was your IP.

‏‏That’s horrible.

‏‏Yeah, so that was probably one. I mean, I’ve heard all sorts of silly things. “Invest $5,000 in this colon cleanser, and blah-blah-blah.” I don’t know.

‏‏What’s your biggest financial advice for women and cool men?

‏‏Have fun because if you are trying to make money, and you’re not loving what you’re doing, and if you’re not having fun, you’ve done nothing more than create a job for yourself. And it won’t last. Create something bigger than you. You mentioned at No Glass Ceiling and going through that last year with my mother-in-law, if it was not so near and dear to me, if my ultimate end-game was not to create change for women and cool men, I couldn’t gotten through it. Look, we’re all put here on earth, we don’t know how much time we have so, have fun, make money, create impact, and stop being scared. It’s just an emotion. Love and fear can’t live in the same place at the same time. Success and failure can’t live in the same place at the same time. Fear and happiness don’t live in the same place at the same time, but they’re yin and yang, and you have to have one to have the other so, embrace the experience and learn from it.

Have fun because if you are trying to make money, and you’re not loving what you’re doing, and if you’re not having fun, you’ve done nothing more than create a job for yourself. And it won’t last. Click To Tweet

‏‏Beautiful. Beautiful! You know my next question was, “What are your three tips to living in a stellar life?” but you kind of answered that.

‏‏That’s it! Those were it.

‏‏Wow, you’re a psychic on top of everything. Okay, so I bet people are like, “Oh my God, Kelly is freaking amazing! Where can we find her?”

‏‏Well, there are a couple of places. Please stop by www.noglassceiling.com, and our event is coming up. We do that annually. You’re welcome to connect with me at www.kellyfidel.com, and you can also connect with me on Facebook. Those are some great places to hook up and join the conversation.

‏‏Lovely! Thank you so much, Kelly! Thank you.

‏‏Thank you! It was an honor to be here. I am so excited. I just want everybody to know, go live a stellar life. You have one-make it stellar! It has been an honor. It’s so great to catch up with you today. I love you!

‏‏Amen. I love you too! It was such a pleasure. Thank you so, so much, and thank you, my fabulous listeners! Thank you for taking the time to listen and to expand your horizon and learn from some very cool people because I think listening to stuff like that is what will help your life be stellar and what will help your life work and work better. Have a wonderful day. Have a stellar life, and I’ll catch up with you on the next episode. Goodbye!

‏‏Bye, everybody!

Links and Resources:

• Kelly Fidel
• No Glass Ceiling
• LinkedIn – Kelly Fidel
• Facebook – Kelly Fidel
• Instagram – Kelly Fidel
• Morgana Rae – SL Previous Episode

About Kelly Fidel

Named “Woman Entrepreneur of the Year”, as Founder and CEO of No Glass Ceiling®,  Kelly Fidel is committed to empowering entrepreneurs around the world to Breakthrough Barriers &  Build a FEARLESS Million Dollar Empire.  Kelly is an Award-Winning Entrepreneur, International Speaker, Philanthropist and Business Mentor. Harnessing more than 25+ years of expertise in high end sales, mindset and marketing to scale businesses and create extraordinary success for herself and others.