Nicholas Upchurch

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O: Hi Nicholas and welcome to Stellar Life. How are you doing?

N: Hello. I’m great, Orion. How are you?

O: I’m doing great. Before we start, can you just share little bit about yourself?

N: Sure. I’m founder and CEO of a company called Love!. We have a media network right now called Believe, the website is believe.love. We’re trying to help people to achieve success and also improve their lives in terms of money and business, health and wellness, and also explore world news and our universe. Specifically with world news, we’re trying to be a bridge between the reality, some of the tough reality in the spiritual side of things and trying to find some common ground which is actually quite an undertaking but that’s what we’re trying to do over at Believe.

O: That’s sounds amazing. It’s a great channel. I watched a few of your videos and they’re brilliant. I really love it. Today, we’re going to talk about the two things that people want the most. There’s health always but we’re going to talk about love and money. We’re going to start with money. You had a very interesting story and background with money. You are very successful and then you had some kind of the spiritual epiphany in Peru. Can you share a bit about that?

N: I think true success is something we cover on our channel which has to do with money. Money plays a part in that. You and I talked about that on my show as well so I love that. I would say I’ve made a lot of money and I’ve also lost quite a bit at different times. In 2008, the real estate market crashed. I was still pretty young but I’d built up a little empire and I was all in on real estate. I had five condos in Miami Beach and everything crashed. Thank God I didn’t have a family or kids or anything, you find out what’s really important when things crash because you can always have more. I would say both of us could speak to the fact that everybody listening to this probably relatively speaking, is rich. I’ve been to 33 countries. I haven’t lived in 33 but I’ve seen a lot and you have too, Orion. If we have an iPhone that’s $700, that’s like two to three months’ salary or more in some places that we may have been. Still knowing that, it doesn’t mean that we’re just automatically happy. To get to your question, once we get to survival and if somebody has a big family, this could be a lifetime thing to get to survival. If you’re worried about paying $100,000 for college for each child and everything else, you can be stuck in the loop. I understand that. All of my friends that are my age have kids basically. If we get to survival and we can survive and we still have some issues that are coming up, and even people with a lot of money have these issues sometimes. It doesn’t matter if you have a lot of money or not. Those are the things that probably we may have chosen to come to this life to explore and get to the bottom of. Even before Peru, Peru for me was 2015. I went to the Sacred Valley near Machu Picchu and there was ayahuasca ceremony. Ayahuasca has been legalized through the Supreme Court for Christian churches in both New Mexico and Oregon in the United States. I’ve never drank alcohol. I actually had never used marijuana although I support the legalization for medical use. In Europe, they’re doing a lot of studies related to cancer treatment for marijuana and the cannabis oil. I had to determine that this ayahuasca was a medicine. They’ve used it for thousands of years. I went down there thinking I was maybe going to process some things. My brother died, you have women that go down there to process rapes and you have PTSD. I think you were in the military, Orion, for some time, in I think Israel. You have people going down there from the US as well. This is a serious stuff. I thought maybe I’m going to go down there.

O: A sacred ceremony. It depends on what you do with the drug. Are you using it for hedonistic pleasure or are you using it for once in long time and use it for spiritual connection or like you said, to go over posttraumatic stress and to find healing and find guidance.

N: That’s right. I guess ibuprofen is a drug.

O: Alcohol is a drug and it’s legalized.

N: That’s right. This is actually not recreational at all like acid. This is no joke. The ayahuasca, people can watch on YouTube. I would say that Sting’s at it. The singer Sting, who’s a little in the 80s. Who knows Sting? He’s very quiet about it. He and his wife used it in Brazil at a Christian church, actually. I like to bring up the Christian church to relate to people in the United States, some people might be like, “What is this?” It’s a plant medicine. Sting mentioned that this can be a direct connection to God. UCLA and the University of Miami have done, of course the male part of me brings up all these studies but it’s important. They’ve done studies relating to the effectiveness of actually using it to get off heroin, for PTSD. The reason why what they don’t say, what I can tell you from my experiences is that it can be a direct connection to God. What does that mean? That means everything. Actually, you came on my show Orion and you started to say a lot of beautiful things about feminine energy, masculine energy. I was shown things I wasn’t even thinking about or looking for. We are all God as what I was shown. There’s good in everything even the tough things and the good is what lives on. It actually took two years for me to start unwinding and take action on. Sometimes we resist.

O: Sometimes you need that. Like a fruit, you need that time to be ripe already.

N: That’s right. You’re right. Relating to money, to bring it back to what you mentioned, we talked about on one episode, Abraham Lincoln went bankrupt a few times, Michael Jordan said he missed lots of game winning shots, 30 or 40. He probably missed, I think he said maybe more than he made in terms of game winning shots playing basketball. Sometimes those tough things can be things that open up. I would have never thought to go there. If wasn’t for the tough things in my life, having tough times money wise, having anger from my brother dying when I was young.

O: I’m sorry about that.

N: Yeah, thank you. Everybody has had this stuff but I wouldn’t even be talking to you, I wouldn’t be on the call, I’d probably just be working away. There’s beauty in it. It’s a gift but it doesn’t necessarily feel like a gift.

O: I see when I look back at many difficult times in my life where I was angry, upset and depressed, “Why me? Why now?” Actually sitting in a victim mentality, I could not see the greater picture. I could not see the blessings that those times will bring down the road for me. When I look back at my life, I do not regret doing anything and I would not change a thing because everything that I experienced and especially the hard times brought me to where I am today, like I said, right now, speaking to you.

N: That’s beautiful. What gave you the ability, would you say, to start looking at things from a different perspective?

O: I always believe that there is a light inside of me. It is something that is very strong that I believe in since I’m a child. It’s unknowingness that there is something greater and bigger for me and there is some good that I can hold onto. I think I’ve been through enough tough times and survived and even strived. This is what it is. It’s just the desire for life.

N: I understand. For me, since I’m a guy, guys, we can be hard-headed. It’s almost like I would banged my head into a wall 1,000 times until I figure it out more that I wanted to not torture myself in terms of repeating patterns that were crazy, being mad about things. I just relaxed, felt and sent love, and let the energy flow to my different chakras. Everyday, for me it’s like a 24/7 thing. I bet at times where I’m pretty clear for weeks but to some people, this is a process that goes on everyday.

O: We must respect that process. For the listeners, wherever you are, this is just a process.

N: Yes, definitely for listeners. It’s hard when it’s yourself.

O: Even me too and for you too, and for all of us. It’s the human condition.

N: Yeah. I know exactly what to do, I’m not doing it 100% but we have to give ourselves credit for what we do. For perfection as we could beat ourselves up but you said it much more elegantly in terms of your change of perspective. I basically beat myself and made myself alone. Not beat myself like Fight Club, like Brad Pitt hitting himself or whatever. Edward Norton, that movie like 16 years ago. Beat myself up, metaphorically or whatever. You sounded much better. I’m thankful because eventually, I started going to things like kundalini yoga even though there is all girls. I was like, “Maybe that’s not bad.” That energy is beautiful and it was a good thing. I would have never done that perhaps if I didn’t have all of that tough energy. All the ladies listening, you see all the tough energy out there. Think about the opportunity if that energy were to go in the right direction. Let me tell you, you can be the inspiration for going in that direction instead of just being upset that the boys are being very stupid because probably we are. I understand why you would be upset but you don’t understand how much power you have with love and different ways of influencing that to get it to go in the right direction versus being like the boys and just getting mad. I understand that too. I understand all reactions because I’ve had all of them. There’s a tremendous amount of power that that feminine energy has in terms of getting things going in the right direction. Not acting like men in order to do it. It’s not a black and white thing. I think you know what I’m saying, Orion.

O: Yeah. I love what you’re saying about drive because a part of my drive at some point of my life was coming from a place of rage, from a place wanting to prove a point and that’s okay to fill our feelings and express them in a positive way. The moment I took that rage and channelled it in a way that was not self-destructing, I went to forgiving myself, forgiving the people who hurt me, but still channelling that rage to become stronger, to learn more, to find healthy change. My mind said, “Channelling all the pain into finding love, self-love, and then later on love in a relationship.”

N: That’s right. You had an amazing story. In fact, I think it sounded there was a time when you were younger where you got to be athletic you thought. Did you become a boxer or something? I forget, tell me.

O: I did MMA, I did aikido and I used to be super tough.

N: Yes, which is good by the way.

O: I’m still tough. It’s not white and black. We’re not all masculine and feminine. We both have both ways and it’s about dense.

N: Yeah, yeah, definitely. I played football. I played at University of Michigan, 111,000 fans. I had a broken back when I was 15. When I was nine, I was taking everything out from being angry, my brother died when I was seven and this is my thing. We have a very similar story I believe in that way. It was rewarded actually. You could have felt in MMA if you were tough then people like that. It’s easy to get wrapped up in that. I think there’s some value there or just thinking that you need to do that to survive in the world. I think we don’t want to put ourselves in harm’s way but also there are some other options.

O: Right. This is amazing. I want to talk to you about money.

N: Okay, get back to it.

O: What made you so successful? What was your mindset around money? How can you teach someone to improve their relationship with money?

N: Sure. I would say that I have made a lot of money but again, to be honest, I’ve lost like hundreds of thousands. I’ve done seven figures of revenue. By the way, I did this once and lost. I was really young at real estate built it up, lost it, have some tough years. By the way, I had tough years because myself, I didn’t want to get “real job.” I’d built up another company, seven figures in a very short amount of time literally from $1,000. It wasn’t a magic though. I’m going to tell you how I did it. By the way, if we had three energy, Nikola Tesla was working on that, we had replicators, we already have 3D printers, and we probably have replicators somewhere. Bill Clinton famously said, maybe it’s not so famous, in a press conference he said, “There’s a government within the government. I can’t control and I can’t tell you what scenario fit you on because I don’t know.” People don’t really know. If you look at a lot of turmoil, let me tell you everybody, what he said is there’s a lot going on. We would need money necessarily. We might need it to trade but with free energy and certain replicators, I think some people were arguing so much in the world. We might have our eyes on problem that our eyes off the ball little bit. Back to money, we have to live right now by money. That’s what pays for everything.

O: I don’t think it’s going to change anytime soon.

N: I’m working on that. If people want to support something, go to believeitunes.com, start listening, it’s free, or believe.love. You’re right. The superdelegates were never going to vote for Bernie Sanders, they don’t tell you that. You couldn’t win as a democrat unless you take big money, just to be honest.

O: How do we make money? How do we change our mindset around money?

N: Thank you for getting me back track. You got to pay attention, pay attention, pay attention. Literally, pay attention and then take action. It doesn’t matter just taking action. First of all, we only have so much time. The first thing you have to do is actually be able to see what quality is. I can tell, Orion, from your website, somebody, whoever did the website has some idea what quality is. By the way, all these things apply to me. I can improve more. I actually know what I need to improve. We have to go step by step. We only have so much time and so much money so you have to be realistic about your time and money. If want to get a better job and you keep saying it a million times and you don’t actually do it, go on upwork.com and find a great assistant in the Philippines or Indonesia for $2 to $4 an hour and have them look for jobs for you. Maybe 80% or 90% of them aren’t going to work out but the 10% or the 5%, you can find one. I’d found many but you may have to find the right connection. You only have a certain amount of time and money. You have to identify what quality looks like in anything that you’re doing. I can improve that too. There are certain style of YouTube where they cut fast between the time they’re talking and I’m not doing that right now and there’s a reason behind it. I’m not going to get into it but I’m aware that certain channels do that. Become aware of everything. Become aware of what quality is, either in your industry that you’re trying to get a better job in, if you’re starting a business, whatever your business is in, and then figure out every detail of what is going on. What I mean is, if you’re going to start a business find out where people are getting their customers, how much money it takes to get that customer, what their lead sources are, how would you scale that up, what are they charging for their frontend product, what are they charging on the backend? After somebody buys something initially, what’s their follow up, what are the pricing? You actually have to figure this all out and you don’t have to do it. For example, Tim Ferris in The 4-Hour Workweek, he tells you that you can actually create a landing page online. Even before you go through, I don’t want to say wasted, I spent a year building a supplement line because people are showing Oprah’s picture and I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t realize that that’s the reason they were successful because they have these fake weight loss pages online and I spent a year not paying attention to every single detail. You can create your landing page Orion. You can create it without even creating the product and getting it manufactured, all of these takes a lot of time.

O: This is about the implementation. This is about the how and the squeeze page, and the research, and the hiring in the Philippines, and getting all the strategy into your business. I want to take you to an earlier step. For someone who’s looking to awaken the desire to make more money, someone who wants to maybe heal their relationship with money, and get into the mindset of I can do it.

N: That is important. I’m will get there. I want to finish this stuff because it’s important. You’re right, I’m a guy so I’m going through it. By the way, you can’t necessarily all these stuff without doing what you just said. We’ll get into that in a second. To finish, before you even create a product, you create your landing page and send traffic to it to see if people would even buy before you through the six months to create the product and do all these things on hunch. And then you analyze your market. You’re right, people can listen back to that. I said a lot in a very little amount of time. I said a lot about getting a better job and I think it’s all important but it doesn’t matter, Orion. You’re right, if somebody feels like crap, which I have felt like crap to the point of being in bed for days at a time and maybe you’ve been there, it doesn’t matter. You might limit yourself, you might sabotage yourself. Here’s the deal, I can give you a list of 10 things to do. If somebody’s not going to do them and I’ve been the same way, then why? That’s the darkness. We trace back to our darkness and a lot people, this is tough, exploring what’s going on with that darkness. I can tell you that literally, Orion you might be with me on this, there can be messages from other beings, dimensions, everything else. Through the tension, the beautiful tension wherever it is, if we learn to love that which we thought should hate, if we learn to look at life not as just a linear because I could through studies, I’m going to spare you because I know women are smarter, they don’t actually maybe need to hear all that like men do because they don’t believe it because they’re men and they’re hard-headed. Life is not just a linear thing where a bunch of crap happens and you die. It can be like right now but time isn’t real, Einstein proved that. Time is relative. It can be bent, literally bent. The movie Interstellar with Matthew McConaughey, a lot of girls think he’s hot. That’s a good movie to explain what I’m saying. A lot of what’s in a movie aside from going in a black hole because people don’t quite know it is inside black holes yet. A lot of that movie is based on reality. Another good one that was just out is Arrival. In time, you could have set all these stuff if before this life. I could have set up my brother and I and him dying, we could have set that up before this life. When you’re a kid, you’re not going to have time to sit and process and think about everything as a gift. Working through all these and loving it, finding the beauty, literally receiving what’s on the other side of it, and it can be a day to day thing. It’s not necessarily just like, “Hey, you’re going to do all these and be fixed for the rest of your life.” But that, freeing yourself up will allow you to make money and anything else you want to do as well.

O: What can we do to free ourselves up and embrace the darkness?

N: Sure. First of all we have to understand that it exists. Whether it’s us saying we’re perfect and everybody else or whether it’s being guilty.

O: Sorry, I am perfect.

N: Okay, you’re the only one. Life is a reflection.

O: Sure.

N: Madeleine Albright, Secretary of State under Clinton said we killed 500,000 children in Iraq. People don’t even talk about that. That was under Bush and Clinton, it’s not like a part of something but it’s basically there’s a lot going on so that’s a reflection of us. We’re all connected. It’s my responsibility that happened too. I was 18 but we’ve done a lot one nonsense since I’ve been 18 as well. The bottom line is that we have to admit that it exist and not be scared that it exist. A lot of times I’ve gone to Peru, some of the people they’re like, “I love this community.” They’re all the evil capitalist in America. They didn’t really say that but I’m talking about people from America that went down there to get into the spiritual scene. They’re like, “Oh that’s evil up there.”

O: It’s easy to be spiritual when you sit down on and then meditate on a top of the mountain.

N: That’s right.

O: The idea is to embrace your spirituality and embrace your strength when you are going through the hard time, when things are uncomfortable, when you are surrounded with negativity. What tools would you give our listeners to do that?

N: To get into that, we’ve admitted that it exists whether it’s within ourselves or other places. If you’re perfect and it’s not within you but for some thing’s blocking you, then send love to Donald Trump. People are enraged about this guy. He’s this one guy and he hasn’t kill anybody that I know but again we killed 500,000 children on our previous president. I don’t know why we’re not enraged about that. If you’re perfect then send love to him or send love to yourself, explore those darkness. Let that energy, invite it in. You don’t have to. This is just something I have to do more of as well. We can let that energy sit with us and let that thing that just makes you whatever it is. Literally love it, ask it what you can learn from it and feel it harmonize within yourself.

O: Beautiful. Wow, I really like that. I did a lot of shadow work myself, visualization, embracing myself, forgiving myself, all that good stuff. Super important and I’m studying Kabbalah right now. The whole premise is around that where like, be good, do good, share the light, and everything that you see in others are traits that you did not embrace in yourself yet. Everything that annoys you in somebody else, it’s just a reflection of you and things that you didn’t accept within yourself. The way people treat you, this situation, everything you experience is coming to teach you something and help your soul of all.

N: Yeah. That can be easier said than done. Even when it’s happening, even for us after we know what but I totally agree. That’s exactly what I’m saying and I’m totally aware. Even for me it’s easier than done. At first as we’re open to it, it can start to open us up and then we don’t feel we have to be afraid to be successful or afraid to make money, or afraid to analyse the steps that will require to take money because by the way, it will actually take action, and it will take evaluating, and all those things that don’t sound that sexy to talk about. Somebody’s going to have to do it and either you’re going to have to see what the steps are and make somebody is doing it or do it yourself. If we love ourselves life you’re talking about, anything is possible, including even beyond money and we love that which we think we should hate. There’s a lot of cool stuff with the Dead Sea Scrolls that were found in the book of Enoch. Kabbalah is actually interesting, it’s tied in with kundalini yoga, and then the Chinese Qigong. There are a lot of similarities through those three specifically in terms of different movements to open up chakras so I love that.

O: Someone increase their awareness, confronted their darkness, found that the good in them embraced it, found more peace and self-love, and yet there is always the fear of rejection. When it comes to money and business and asking for the sale, what will be your best advice to handling the fear of rejection?

N: Sure. Believing in yourself, basically. Believing in yourself, I would say small victories are important. When I was younger, this is silly, 6 months to 1 year, I ran $1,000 in ads or $500. It didn’t work, I wasn’t selling. There are a million things to optimize. It doesn’t matter what you’re selling like you said, ask for the sale. I wanted to give up. Here’s the deal, reduce what you’re asking for. Ask for an email address and then more people will say yes. Then you’re like, “Okay, people like me, people like my message.” Eventually as you build a relationships and you get more yeses to whatever you’re offering, then you feel more confident, people want to buy from you, and you’ll be able to ask for the thing at the next level. Small victories I think, are so important especially for perfectionist. I can speak for myself, you at least Orion, you can see quality but we can afraid. You’re right because it seems like I don’t want to fail, I don’t want somebody to say no, I don’t want to be in that position, and I’ve been there, I understand.

O: What I found for myself is that the more I step into that leadership role, the more visible I am, the louder I am. It attracts the right people but it also attracts some people that are online trolls. I haven’t dealt with major troll yet but sometimes you get reactions that are shocking or very confusing.

N: I made a video but why there’s so much anger when it comes to news. We did some news videos about a nuclear war at Russia’s been avoided, forgiving both Barrack Obama and Donald Trump, which by the way I voted for both and I’m independent. Literally, I don’t even think people are watching the video. People are like FU. Basically, they’re going insane like the videos. I actually see some potential. What I could tell you Orion, if you are having that effect, I think it’s good because honestly, not everybody believe Jesus lived, I don’t know, whatever. They say Jesus got killed. Obviously, we want to live but people are going to have that reaction a little bit. They’re going to resist and that’s okay.

O: I don’t want to be crucified.

N: I know. I think can live nowadays, I think your husband is strong. What I’m saying is I look at it and I have to detach myself from certain things like that. I am because I just know that was going to happen anyway. Therefore, I’m not that worried about the comments or the polarization because I know that I’m hitting on something. I think that shows that there’s great potential on what you are doing to be honest. How many times have we done that with ourselves? If we think about your story and my story, I basically did the same thing with myself. Resisted, acted like a loon and then finally got around to doing this more and then helping people hopefully as well. I think the people that pretend they’re perfect, not everybody does this but I don’t think people trust them anyway, because nobody is. I think everybody has this going on inside of them.

O: Right. The person confronted their fears, learned to see the light in others, evolved, and it feels really good. How does relationship affect business?

N: I see. First of all I want to meet this person. Maybe I’m talking to her right now.

O: You are that person. Whatever I just mentioned, whether if the listener right now is in a dark place or not, everybody had times in their life where they got over obstacles and they got into a place of awareness and they succeeded in something so you, me, everybody.

N: I am definitely, I think because I can tell the truth. I’ve made some money but I’ve had tough times. How does it relate to money? I’ll get into that but what you just said is the whole point before the money. We need to money to pay our bills so I will talk about that. Just summing that up, it’s a fluid situation. I’m not even a big astrology guy and I know more women are generally more knowledgeable, I’m open to it. I just don’t know a ton about it but literally, it is a fluid situation. There’s still a lot going on in the world outside of us in terms of what you said, seeing the good in everybody, finding the light. I think that’s a process we’re going through and that’s probably the whole point. Actually, that will take care of money because money is we made it up. 144 corporations control 80% of the wealth. A Swiss doctor did a study on that at a university.

O: Fascinating.

N: Yeah.  Let’s say we are in a good place. How can we transfer that into business? That’s your question, right?

O: Can I ask you a personal question?

N: Yeah, sure.

O: Are you single?

N: Yes.

O: Are you looking for love?

N: Yes. I would say I am.

O: Where should women contact you?

N: I guess we have Believe at believe.love. That’s a public email out there anyway. Natalia would be very abuse if there’s a ton of things.

O: Because you’re so multifaceted and because you’re so interesting. I want to talk to you about money but I also want to talk to you about relationship, your take about relationship. Because I know that you did a lot of work on yourself and you thought yourself in a different way and you thought like the whole dating monogamy idea. It was different for you and you changed it. Can you talk a little bit about that? How did your success affected your relationships? Does a man have to be successful to have a good relationship?

N: Yeah. Just to finish up on what you said, all of that can go into money. You have the ability to deal with things. First of all, companies don’t call you back necessarily, they don’t necessarily pay on time, things don’t run how they should necessarily, people do have random reactions. The reason I have to do this is because I want to be happy with the world. I guess Einstein asked a question, “Is the universe a friendly place?” He didn’t give the answer. We get to answer. If we say yes, then the answer is yes. If we say no, the answer is no. I’ve said no plenty and I’ve said yes plenty. When you do all these things in terms of what you said that I said it was a little difficult to even do those, if you have done those, you will be able to pay attention to the details and believe in yourself to be able to look at the details. If it freaks you out, hire somebody or partner somebody that likes to look at the details or ask a friend that likes details in terms of the dynamics of what it would take to look into what other people are doing in business and do it yourself because you really do need to get an idea. Where customers are coming from? How much it cost to get them? How much you could scale up the business? Things like that. How much would everything cost and how much can you make based on case studies of other people or business you want to be like? Here’s one last thing and then I’m going to tell you all about what I know about love from myself. When you make that small change, if you want to sell pineapples and somebody is selling apples, just know that that small change could affect all of the details you looked into. It can make it better or it can make it a little tougher. Just do it like Nike. That’s the final thing. You want to have success in terms of money, just like you did with your consciousness and everything else, do what Orion’s doing, just do it. You’re going to get hit but just keep going.

O: Do exactly what I’m doing.

N: You are. Me too and it can be. You don’t have to be perfect. Here’s one last thing, Apple is the biggest company in the world. When they upgrade to iOS 10, or 9, or 8, when they do a big upgrade, they usually have to put out an update within two days. You know why? Because there’s errors all over the place. They’re bigger than ExxonMobil. They are the biggest company in the world and they have errors in their software they put out. Who cares? Just do it. Love.

O: I was waiting a long time for that answer about love so you better be good.

N: Listen, I have some available. I will come to your workshops. Listen, guys are full of crap. Okay, let’s just be honest. I’ve been pretty tough because I’ve been tough on myself and also I like when people do what they say they’re going to do and tell the truth. I can improve in so many ways myself as well. I figured out it’s not about what I want. I directed my life in a different way. I’m not sure if I’m meant to. Here’s the problem, there’s so many great girls. That’s what I’d rather say as opposed to saying there’s something wrong with everybody. No human is normal. I’ve never met a normal human being. I’ve got issues, people do random things, and then you have some differences with guys and girls. What guys need to do is tell the truth like number one. It’s the number one complaint I heard from talking to so many girls is that guys lie. They’d lie usually because they want to be with a lot of women especially guys that are “driven”. Either at some point decide they want another woman. I think girls are like, “Not every guy can be true.” I know one guy, he cheated on his fiancé like 30 times and they got married. She found out about it. You got to have that conversation. In my opinion, maybe you can find a one guy but it’s just probably it’s part of males. They are driven. The biology is slightly different. You can find a guy that is into just one girl but there can be an evolution towards that. Again, like you said Orion, people work it out. Gay marriage is legal. Maybe some people aren’t into polyamory. I thought I want to be like Hugh Hefner. The thing is, I found so many girls that also like girls. People that are reliable and actually care about you, really care about your soul like that’s actually for me above the whole girls liking girls thing. Now, I’m just trying to help other people and not so worried about all of these other stuff because honestly, I drove myself crazy. I think people need to tell the truth, guys especially. I think if girls would like too instead of thinking, “Oh that guy is a dog. That guy is a dog.” Go ahead and assume we’re all dogs. It’ll make it much easier. And then try to investigate the dog. The best you can hope for is at least honesty. You can work with honesty. If you don’t know what’s going to happen and you get blind sighted, I think that’s the worst. You can work with an honest wolf. A gentleman is just a patient wolf. Still a wolf, he’s just acting nice. Not all but in many cases. Go ahead and talk about the wolf like about the real deal, get to the real story, and then try to work from there. Who knows, anything is possible because guys are human too. The beauty in women is they’re really able to open these things up. I can verify Orion, a lot of the things you’re talking about was spirit guides and things but a lot of guys would hear this. You notice events that have this stuff, mostly girls are there. I’ve actually experienced that first hand. I don’t think that most guys would believe it. That’s what I’m trying to do with believe.love, is our website, to bridge that gap.

O: Do you believe in monogamy?

N: I think that it definitely is possible. I think also that definitely people have some pretend monogamy going on. I think anything is possible. But I think understanding is love. What would turn me on the most, for me, if somebody cares about your story Orion, hopefully like you noticed, I’m talking a lot because you’re interviewing me. You talked the other day, I talked too. I asked you that question earlier in the interview because I actually care. If somebody really cares, life is all about asking the right questions in business or in love.

O: Oh wow, that’s beautiful.

N: Yeah, and then the right follow up question. You’re doing a great job now. You listen and then you ask the right follow up questions. We’re chatting, we’re sending pictures of a shirtless, and we’re doing all these things. It’s like, “Okay, we get through that, that’s good. I like that. Sure. Whatever.” And then it’s like, who cares about your soul? Love is understanding. Here’s the thing, if it’s about understanding, the person has to feel understood from their perspective. Not just us thinking we’re doing what it takes to understand them. If a guy tells you he’s honest. To him, that means once a month and to a girl it means 100% of time, that’s not going to be good for her. The guy’s going to think he’s understanding her needs but unless she thinks there’s honesty coming through, then it’s not real to her. That’s goes the same way and the other. A guy might want his soul open but he might not think of it like that. You got to feed dogs dog food. You got to give people something they actually want so they can receive it. That’s part of understanding. That applies to business and everything else.

O: How can a woman if she’s dating a player or not?

N: I would say that most guys, especially if they’re “driven”, I lived in Miami Beach. I also lived in LA. I love LA, it’s a little calmer. I live around in Santa Monica as well for a year. Miami Beach, the girls are beautiful. Actually their minds and their spirits are beautiful. I would fall in love literally every 50 feet.

O: You fall in lust.

N: No. I don’t know about that. Yes in a way but I just really loved, I don’t know. I think there’s a little bit more to it. A player I think lies. I’m telling you that openly right now. I think that’s make all the difference. I think if somebody is willing to admit that they’re a man, I think girls could take it as an insult. What’s more insulting, hearing that or having them do it behind your back six months later? Let’s talk about reality and then maybe there’s a connection. It sounds blunt and direct but I think that’s how you know somebody’s a player or not. They’re willing to talk about reality versus this mirage. I’ve literally heard over 1,000 in 15 years tell me stories about fiancé’s cheating, you name it, I basically heard it. It comes down to honesty.

O: What are the signs? If a woman dates somebody who’s a very good player? Poker face.

N: That’s right. If I were a woman, I’d talk about how hot that girl is walking down the street. If he pretends she’s not I would maybe be a little suspicious. Don’t be insulted if he says yes. That’s the problem. I’ve been the same way. We want the truth, but we don’t. If he says yes she is hot also, maybe that’s probably the sign of a winner. There is more to it even for the simplest minded guy. There’s more to it than looks for any guy, believe it or not, it’s hard to believe sometimes. Dealing with most men, it’s hard to believe there’s more than looks but it’s more than looks. You have to get to reality in the way they can receive it. I love what you said Orion on our show Believe, believeitunes.com, subscribe if you’d like. Orion’s on there and she’s saying that she actually likes the build men up. If you make a man, feel like a man. Part of it may be saying that girl’s hot. I’ve talked to a lot of beautiful girls, that doesn’t mean our souls are going to connect. You know what the weird part about it, part of the conversation that women could start to have with men, is understanding that a woman can be perfect for a guy and that’s not good enough. It’s going to blow some people’s mind out there. It doesn’t even sound like it make sense but honestly, guys struggle with these too, especially guys that want to be honest. I had friends, Orion that were married, cheating on their wife. They had a wife that loves them, to go home to, and because I wanted to be honest in my 20s, I refused to do that. I made myself alone because I refuse to cheat and commit. Honestly, I didn’t see that I was really getting rewarded for being honest. What I mean by that is girls can be perfect for a guy and that’s not necessarily good enough if she’s about talking about like, “What’s going on with that? How can we work with that?” Through that discussion and being open about it, you might actually get somewhere. Until somebody can actually open up about what’s really going on, there’s a much higher percent chance that you get screwed over, I would say.

O: What are men looking for in a woman?

N: Sure. I think men are looking for a lot of different things because guys are different. As much as I’m generalizing I think guys are very different. I would say that what you described in my show. Whatever you are saying, because I didn’t even ask it, you just came out with it. You’re like make a man feel like a man, encourage him. A woman’s strength is her love and it can inspire that masculinity. You don’t have to act like a man. You are far more powerful being a woman because that masculine direct energy. If you wrap that feminine energy around it and it goes in the right direction, it’s literally like Hitler to Jesus, or whatever kind of analogy you want to make. That strength in leadership, you as a woman actually influence on a massive scale. You, saying that you should support that, is a beautiful thin. Men should tell the truth in return. A lot of women I’ve had this happen, they feel they’re going to get screwed over if they just support a guy and make him feel manly, and do all of these things. A man is looking for that ultimately no matter what they say. All men want sex. In addition, this is part of that. Men might not even know it is. Men can be completely clueless about what they really want. They usually know they like beautiful girls and I would somebody they get along with. Somebody to really have these real discussions will encourage them to be honest and I think that’s what women want the most.  Monogamy is possible. Talking about things is possible, maybe.

O: From a study that was done 2013 I think, the men and the women cheat equally. It’s a 50/50. It’s not that you are a man so you have the genetics to cheat so you’re probably are more likely to cheat. Actually women cheat 50% of the time. It’s a 50/50 split. What I think is that when a man thinks that he ought to cheat just because he’s a man, for me, it sounds like a copout.

N: I agree.

O: I think that if a man wants a true relationship in a true monogamy like you mentioned, they should have the honest conversation. The female partner should have an honest conversation. She should speak up and she should share whether it’s in a sexual sensual manner, she should share what she wants, what her fantasies are, and what’s her goal in the relationship. Before she even get involved with him emotionally, she should get a commitment and he should do the same.

N: Commitment for?

O: For the relationship, for trying to build something together. If you are having that conversation and you’re partner is still knew that he doesn’t want to have committed relationship, then so much hurt can be saved. People hurt each other so much. All that can be resolved with an honest conversation. Like I said on your show, many times when a man cheat, beyond the prehistoric genetic and wanting to impregnate all the women around him.

N: That could a problem actually. Go ahead.

O: Women have that same desire as well.

N: Stop. Based on my experience, it seems like guys are more likely to lie. But go ahead, yes, definitely women cheat. They do, sure.

O: Yeah. I feel like the guys that lie a lot are…

N: Most guys though. The problem is guys can say they want monogamy initially until six months down the road something…

O: This is the individual’s spiritual evolution. I saw this comic comedian share a picture with his wife and his kids. He shared that photo and it was like, “You know what, this is why I would never ever, ever cheat because I never want to break this family apart.” It’s about your values. If your woman is important to you enough and your kids are important to you enough, not to hurt them and break them, if you’re getting what you need from them, if you’re getting that emotional satisfaction, and of course it’s important to have a healthy sex life with your partner, you will not want to lie or cheat. This is just a new step in the individual’s evolution.

N: Yes. For me I’d say I’m open to that but part of it is just understanding that again, a woman can be perfect for a guy.

O: If a woman is perfect for you and you cheat, she’s not perfect for you.

N: I’ve never cheated. I’ve been single most of my life.

O: Call me naïve.

N: No. I don’t think naïve. I think that a lot of times it’s just weird because what you’re saying does sound logical. I think guys should not lie but it’s tough because people don’t want the truth. I think some guys get to the point where they do know that this is the person for them. I would say it comes through these kind of discussions where the reality is you look at most presidents and you look at most how many celebrities do we hear and they probably have great lives, I don’t know. They’re with like 60 women.

O: When you get to a point of cheating, there is something missing and unresolved in a relationship.

N: It could be inside of them too. I would say, “Hey, you’re a guy, you probably want to be with a lot of girls.” Howard Stern is a monogamist guy. He’s been married to Beth for 17 years and he had a wife before that for like 20. If you want to know the difference between men and women, he has a woman co-host, he’s a radio guy, he was also on America’s Got Talent, but he’s on SiriusXM, he’s one of the biggest radio guys of all time. He’s like the male Oprah. Listen to Howard’s show versus Oprah. Again, Howard himself is monogamist but men’s brains are like aliens.

O: We all have different parts of our brain. There is the intellectual part and there is the lizard brain. It’s up to us to control the lizard brain if we have a higher value. If men’s value for their relationship and for truth is higher than his value of getting that immediate satisfaction between his legs, then he will not do it because his family, his partner is more important to him.

N: Guys should tell the truth. I would agree and I have but it’s been tough. I’ve also been single, which I think is better and it wasn’t the easy choice. I saw guys doing much worse and they weren’t single and then they had these girls that love them anyway and often times forgave them. There’s a 100 girls I talked to that were with guys that cheated and stayed with them for years. I don’t think women respect honesty enough. I’m going to tell you the truth because it’s almost impossible to find.

O: There are always two to tango. You always need two to tango. As long as both sides do their job, strive for more, and focus on what’s good in each other rather than what’s not working, there is hope for humankind and for successful love in monogamous relationships.

N: Honesty is the key. I think from a man’s point of view, if women are trying to figure this out, I would just start with the discussion, “Hey you probably like a lot of women.” When they say yes, actually talk to them about it and actually be turned on that they’re willing to say yes. Because it means you may have a guy that might not screw you over in the long run. When you’re getting into that, like you said about the woman talking about their fantasies and everything else. Go ahead and start there because that’s the majority of guys, especially guys, all women want a guy that’s successful. By the way, guys that are successful usually want to date a lot of women. I didn’t make the system up. I’m just reporting what I’ve seen. Start there and when they yes, be encouraged that at least you have the potential to grow. All this can happen. You know what the funny thing is, one girl I committed to, she said she like girls. This is the first time in 15 years. She talked to some girls. That never even actually happened. It’s the fact that she cared about me. I could have told if she was lying about liking girls. Some girls actually try to take one for the team and do something just for the guy. She cared so much about understanding, understanding this turmoil that an honest guy could have about wanting monogamy but also being this crazy human being. If you’re going to be honest as a guy, that can be a tough thing to navigate. Just like being a woman can be very tough dealing with these wackos that seemed they’re only focused on looks and everything else and not the soul. Not just loving a woman that would be there until they die and all of that, which does sound good. Here’s another funny thing, Orion, when guys have a bachelor party, their friends act like the guys giving in and he has lost the war. A woman, the wedding is like the superbowl. It explains the difference.

O: There is difference, there is hope, and relationship is something to work on.

N: Good discussion.

O: Yeah.

N: Honesty is the key.

O: Yeah, honesty, honest communication, and nice communication is the key. We can talk so much more about it but we are totally running out of time. Before we leave, what are your three super quick tips to live in a stellar life and where can people find you?

N: I think listening is Orion is my first tip. Actually, I’m serious about that. I feel like Orion is in touch with things and she’s aware. She has had a tremendous life. I would say pretty much whatever Orion is talking about, listen to, because she’s open to other perspectives and that is very tough for all of us. The first thing is be open to other perspectives even if they seem scary. Understanding is love is number two. That goes along with number one, understanding is love. I’m talking about understanding everything. The third thing is to believe in yourself. You can do it, whatever you’re trying to do. Believe in yourself. Identify what you need to do to take action, figure out why you’re not taking action and love that reason, love whatever’s preventing you. You’ll free yourself up to actually list out what you need to do and do it. Again, believeitunes.com. We’re building a media network. We’re going to help you succeed, we’re going to find a bridge between spirituality and the real world where big men with a lot of money and guns and all of these nonsense are running the world. We’re going to try to love them actually, believe it or not instead of hating them. If we can, we need to forgive, I need to forgive more. believeitunes.com and believe.love is our website. Thank you so much, Orion. It’s been a real honor to be with you.

O: Thank you so much. This was a really fun ride. Thank you, Nicholas.

N: You’re welcome. Thank you.