Valentine’s Day

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O: Hello. Welcome to our special Valentine’s Day episode. In this episode, you will find the best Valentine’s Day advice and I promise, by the end of this episode, you will fall in love with yourself even more. But before we start, here’s a fun fact of the day, I’m in Park City, Utah.Yesterday, I did a comprehensive stem cell procedure with Dr. Harry Adelson who was actually a guest on the show, episode 91. I’m still recovering. They harvested my stem cells and they injected it in places where it needed in my body especially in my shoulder because I had a shoulder injury, and in my hips. I walk like an old lady and I’m a bit sore but I’m so grateful that I did it. If you wanna know more about, go and check out the stem cell episode. Regardless of how I feel, in this episode, I collected the best love and self-love advice from different expert from previous episodes. It was really hard to choose because I had over 100+ episodes but for this special episode, I think the mix of the experts is just brilliant. Also, a few days ago, I got a wedding invitation. A physical wedding invitation in the mail from a lady that took the Awaken Your Inner Goddess 7-Day Love Challenge last Valentine’s Day. I was so happy. I remember opening it and it was quite light. I just felt this amazing feeling of peace and gratitude because it just another sign that I’m on my path. My mission and my passion is to help you shine, and to light you up and make you feel like a beautiful goddess. So you can attract love but not only love. When you’re feeling amazing, you attract abundance, you attract better relationships, and business relationships, and different opportunities, unseen opportunities just fall into your hands which happened to many of my clients. Really, it was just such a great sign. I have good news for you because if you wanna join the challenge for this year then just go to orionsmethod.com/goddesschallenge, sign-up and join us. There’s an incredible community of women that are taking on the challenge this year. Someone might have taken it again from last year. It’s gonna be a whole party. In our show today, you will understand men and women with Alison Armstrong. Sheila Kelly will teach you how to connect your feminine essence with feminine movement. Jaiya will reveal to you what is your sexual blueprints. We will explore your alter ego with Athena Rosette. We’re gonna get sexy advice for mom from Alexa and Aubrey from Lose the Cape podcast. We’re gonna learn how to flirt with Dr. Pat Allen. Another guest I was planning to include on this episode is Byron Katie, but unfortunately, Katie had to reschedule. But don’t worry, my interview with Katie is coming up. The first expert advice is from Alison Armstrong who is a world-renowned relationship coach and author of The Queen’s Code. She was featured as our special Valentine’s Day episode last year and gave such a remarkable advice that I had to just start with her. Here is Alison. You’re gonna be our special Valentine’s Day episode and I’m so, so honored. What happened in my life in the last week is that I posted an online challenge, Awaken Your Inner Goddess challenge, helping women connect to more self love. For seven days, I’m sending them little assignments. In 15 minutes a day, they’re going to love themselves more. I’m doing it, I’m guiding them, standing on the shoulders of giants like yourself. I wanted to know for our community, we got almost 350 women doing the challenge in just a few days. We have this amazing Facebook group and they’re all talking and they’re sharing from the heart, they’re sharing intimate stories, they connect with each other, they’re from all over the world, I’m so excited about this. It’s just amazing, super grateful. What would be your advice for them on what to do to heal themselves, and then what to do on Valentine’s Day?

A: Wow. As you know, so much of our curriculum is teaching women to honor themselves. That foundation of the Queen’s Code is honor yourself first and then others. Our instincts to please have us honor others and lose ourselves in the process. This is going to sound super unromantic but it is amazing in the results that it creates. It has to do with something that’s not well known, the things that we’ve done in our lives that we’re ashamed of, which is one of the worst feelings people can feel, it’s one of the most intense feelings that men feel, by the way. When we’re ashamed, it’s an indication that we have dishonored ourselves, we’ve dishonored our own values, our own principles. It causes us separation from our own spirit. Some people never get over that. We found out it’s not hard to get over, it’s actually a path back to yourself. If you look at anything in your life that you feel ashamed of where you’re afraid you really disappointed somebody which may mean you really disappointed yourself. What there is to do is to own that, to just go yeah, I was really snarky to that person. I pride myself from being generous, and I was so snarky and stingy. I own that. Or, I was mean and I own that. I was bitter and vengeful and I’m not proud of myself for that, and I own that. Whatever it is, wherever you weren’t the person that you most love yourself when you’re that way, just own having been that way. It’s without justification, that’s the important part. Anything you justify, you’re not owning. Just own it. I failed, I came up short, I dishonored myself, I was mean to that person, I harmed someone else, I own that, I own that. Just the owning of it is like you’re grabbing hold of yourself again. I am the person that feels bad about that because only honorable people feel bad when they’re dishonorable. And then to forgive yourself, just forgive yourself. When you forgive yourself, then you’re going to take chances again. Then, you’re going to risk. In order to forgive yourself, what’s natural for people is to avoid all those things; avoid love, avoid relationship, avoid being in business, avoid interacting with their parents. People just avoid the places where they’re ashamed. If you forgive yourself, then what opens up is it’s like life is asking you to commit yourself again. Come play, come back, we need you. It’s extraordinarily beautiful and empowering. I first learned about this years and years ago when someone asked my daughter, she was only 15 at the time. They said, “What is it about you, why are you so pure?” She said, “I forgive myself.”

O: Wow.

A: “I forgive myself all the time.” People just say she’s so pure because she’s never done anything bad. No, I just keep forgiving myself. That’s why I set it up, this is going to sound strange, this does not sound like a way to love yourself, to own what you’re ashamed of, but it is one of the most loving, restorative that a human being could do. We provide opportunities for it in several of our courses and we have an exercise in our course for men, the course is called A Hero’s Challenge. We have an exercise in self forgiveness and owning what they’re ashamed of because women have no idea how much men hold themselves accountable for it. We call it The Forest Process because in this exercise it’s like watching trees grow, the men literally get taller.

O: Wow.

A: We started out this workshop in December with these two men who were 6’4”. By the end of The Forest Process, they weren’t towering over the other men anymore.

O: What do you mean?

A: The other men were standing up so tall, the other men grew so much taller by forgiving themselves, by owning and reuniting with their own spirit that there was just now this whole room of tall men.

O: That is so beautiful. Actually, one of my assignments for them is forgiveness but I never had that distinction between forgiving myself and owning myself. I forgive myself for things that I’ve done but I’m still struggling with owning some of those things. When you say owning, is that privately, is that publicly, and how do we get to owning ourselves?

A: I can tell you that, and then your question about on Valentine’s Day, I have a counterpart to this. You can do it just in your own head, you can just think about it and just think to yourself I own that. Anything else about that, yeah, I own that, and I own that I did it there. You can do it in writing. In our Queen’s Code workshop, we actually hand out for women to own the ways that they have diminished men. They just make a list. I harmed this man when I did this, this man when I did this, and this man when I did that. You can just write it out and then they actually write out I own that. You can do it with another person, you can say could you just listen to me as an honorable person owning what I’m ashamed of? You may have to give them a minute to go okay, yeah, so I’m just going to own what I’ve done and I’m not going to justify it in any way, I’m not going to say any other side of the story or what provoked me, my good reason for doing it. I’m just going to own that I did it so please don’t try to make me feel better or tell me that it’s not my fault because that doesn’t help, which, by the way, is what women do with men all the time. When men are trying to own what they’re ashamed of, women feel the pain of the shame and they can’t stand the pain that they feel the man is in. They try to talk him out of it, that wasn’t really your fault. It’s the equivalent of saying to a man you’re actually not that powerful. You’re too weak to be accountable for that, that couldn’t possibly have been your fault, you’re not strong enough for that to have been your responsibility, you’re not smart enough, you’re not good enough for that to be your fault. It’s horrible for them, it’s horrible, horrible for men. “That’s not your fault, you shouldn’t feel bad about that.” Think about what you’re really saying. You’re powerless, you didn’t really do that, it was an accident. “No, I did that, let me own it.” You can do it in writing, you can do it out loud, you can pray if that’s what you do, you can do it in a conversation with spirit, God, whomever you were that. Just this morning, I just sent an email to someone and told them I was ashamed of something. They’ll respond however they respond, they may accept it, they may think oh no it’s not a problem at all, you’re fine. I had to own that I was ashamed of not doing something that I think was the right thing to do. In their world, it might be a really small thing. Most people would think it’s something that I shouldn’t even try to be responsible for. As soon as I sent it, I was more me again, I could love me more. Does that answer that question for you?

O: Yeah, totally.

A: The other side, I don’t know if you know my aversion to Valentine’s Day. It has a really disempowering history and a false beginning. I hate false beginnings that are exploited. Many years ago when I found out that Valentine’s Day was most men’s least favorite holiday, most hated holiday, I went and did a bunch of research on St. Valentine. Who is this guy anyway? That’s when I found out all the stuff going on with him which I’ll spare you unless you want to know. My point is that to me, it goes back to where we started our conversation today which is it creates a whole lot of expectations and things that people should do, especially men, what men should do if you really loved me, what you should do if you really cared about me. I’ve talked to men, I did this just a couple of weeks ago too, that there are men who as they approach their first Valentine’s Day with a woman that they could see spending the rest of their life with, they figure out how to do enough for Valentine’s Day for it to pass, but not so much that when they have to outdo themselves year after year after year. They know that Valentine’s Day is a set of expectations that breathes more expectations, which is one of the characteristics of expectations, they just breathe more, they’re like little bunny rabbits. When a guy does something great for your birthday or your anniversary or Valentine’s Day, the next year he’s supposed to outdo himself. I know men who approach it very cautiously if they think I could have a lifetime of Valentine’s Day with this woman so I better start out small. Talk about backfire, right?

O: Nasty bunny rabbits.

A: Yeah. What I try to do on Valentine’s Day is express love and appreciation instead of go looking for signs of love and appreciation. My husband is totally off the hook for Valentine’s Day, there’s nothing he has to do. If he gives me a card where he writes something personal in it, for me that’s the day if you’re going to appreciate me, appreciate me for being your lover, your girlfriend and your lover, not your wife, your partner, your best friend, the mother of your children, just appreciate the sexy, romantic part of me, and chocolate is a bonus. I keep it very simple and from the beginning just let him off the hook, this is a sucker holiday, please don’t waste your time on it. I’d rather you love me everyday a little bit than that day. But tying into it, you and I are talking about how amazing could it be on Valentine’s Day to call or write to the people who bring out the best in you? What are the qualities you love about yourself and who are the people who bring that out in you? Thank them that they give you part of your best self when you’re with them. That would be a hot Valentine’s Day.

O: I totally agree with the idea that whatever you want more of in your life, give more. If you want more respect, give more respect. If you want more love, give more love. That’s the way it works. Thank you so much for these words of wisdom, Alison. You are amazing. If you wanna check out the full episode from Alison Armstrong, this is episode number 51, just go to stellarlifepodcast.com and check out episode 51. If you’re still interested in joining the challenge this year, go to orionsmethod.com/goddesschallenge and join us. Join the community. I would love to have you. It’s an exciting free challenge that will blow your mind and focus you on awakening your own inner goddess. I believe that love begins with self-love and that includes self-exploration especially for us ladies, the way we connect and release is by learning about our bodies, and allowing our bodies to release and express all our emotions, negative and positive. This is something that I learned from a great mentor, one of my favorite, her name is Sheila Kelly. She’s the founder of S Factor and she’s brilliant. Her community is insanely awesome. I went on retreats with her and I go and I do pole dancing in her studio. It’s just a way for me to release pent up emotions and really explore and connect to my own sensuality. If you wanna check out the full episode, go to stellarlifepodcast.com episode 73. Here’s Sheila’s advice about connecting to your feminine energy and movement.

S: Feminine energy is electric; it’s electricity. If you don’t have the wire to conduct the electricity to move to one point to another, it’s just useless energy, inside, trapped inside, and when you give a woman her language of her body movement back, it’s like giving the electricity the wire to conduct and move forward and just express out in the world the full potential of who she is and what she is.

O: Just talking to you, I feel like my body starts to move.

S: I wanna move.

O: You have such a beautiful way to put those ideas in language. I feel like we don’t speak enough about the sensual movement or the sensual part of ourselves in feminine language, in a way that resonates with other sisters, with other women. What are some transformations that you saw in your students?

S: Oh god. So many. It’s literally as simple as a locked body. I worked with Tony Robbins sometimes, and I worked with Regena Thomashauer. And I’m actually gonna teach at Michael Beckwith’s resort down in Costa Rica. I go to these events, and I see women who – they didn’t come to me. They don’t know who I am, and they don’t know what I do. I will ask a woman if she wants me to help her unlock her body, and I’ll bring her up on stage. She might just come in really tight and square on her shoulders, really tight and square in the hips, and just her body shut down by shame. You just start unlocking it through stretch and movement and through following the integrity of the body. Within two minutes, you got a ragingly, astounding hot, beautiful, fiery goddess in sexual pleasure. She’s just like “Wheeeee!” and alive, and she’s moving through parts of her body that have been shut down. You know, we all live in this very male world, and so we all know how valuable the feminine body is or at least we know how policed the feminine body is, so when you un-police it and you free it and you unleash it, that body will sing. That body will tell you stories. That body has plans for you.

O: Right. How do you get your ideas? How do you connect?

S: I don’t know if I’d say it as my ideas. I would say that I just watch. I just watch and learn, and I learn what the body says to me. One of the titles that we say is that Sheila’s a body whisperer or body whisper, and then from that body whisper, I might create a new movement or I might create a new exercise or something from my retreat. You’ve been at my retreats. I’m always inspired by watching and working with and speaking to a woman’s body. I often tell women, “I love your mind, but I’m always gonna take your body’s side. I’m not gonna listen necessarily to the literal words of your mouth. I’m gonna look at your body, because your body will never ever lie. Your body has volumes and volumes of emotional stories to tell and erotic stories to tell. If you thought that what Sheila was talking about was hot, be warned, because things are going to get even steamier with Miss Jaiya who’s a personal friend, a mentor, and a world-renowned sex-expert. There is so much shame around sexuality and most of it is inflicted on you since you are a child. It’s not even your ideas. Somebody told you something when you were a child and then boom, something shuts down. Something happen and you shut down. It is your birthright to feel good about your sexuality and to explore pleasure. I have learned in depth about my sexual blueprints with Miss Jaiya. My husband and I were members of her mastermind and it was crazy. She’s going to talk with you about the sexual blueprints in the upcoming clip. But if you wanna really take the quiz for yourself, you can go to eroticbreakthroughs.com/orion and take the quiz yourself and don’t worry, all the links to everything I’m talking about is in the show notes on stellarlifepodcast.com. Now, get ready. It’s Miss Jaiya.

J: Would you like me to run through them and maybe people can figure out what their type is as they’re listening?

O: Let’s do it.

J: All right. The first one is energetic and I’m going to give you the very cliff notes version of this, so just know it’s very it’s a much deeper system. The energetic is turned on by arousal, tease, anticipation and space. If it were a language, they would be like a beautiful Japanese or a Chinese, like a calligraphy, just gorgeous, flowing, hmm, just lots of energy and heart to them. They’re very turned on by light touch, slow touch, feeling very safe, things like Tantric sex or Dao sexuality, they’re going to get more into sacred sexuality, they’re going to want this beautiful sacred space in their sexual expression. Their shadow, or problem area is that they oftentimes get a little short circuited because they’re very, very sensitive. I get a lot of energetics that say I can’t feel anything and it’s because they’ve numbed out due to being just oversensitive. If you go to their clitoris or you go to penetration too quick too fast, they short circuit, they shut off, they’re done. They’re kind of faking it and taking it, laying there wishing it was over. That’s a problem side of the energetic. Another problem is getting hierarchical, and I was there, boy I am an energetic, so my deep core is energetic. My hierarchy said, oh, that porn sucks his base, that’s not good, that’s not sacred, mine is better than yours and all sacred sexuality is better than any other kind of sexuality. So there’s this, “I’m better than you,” kind of high horse thing that can go on with an energetic. Then the next one is sensual and the sensual is turned on by all of their senses being ignited; tastes, smells, beauty, they really want beauty and they bring beauty into a sensual sexual space. They are positives in the way that they are fed, they love candles, romance, music, bathtub time, massage, full body touch. Their shadow side, stuck in their head, can’t get into their body. Their mind is running, their monkey mind is running a hundred miles an hour and they need to have toggle, so things that can help them transition into sexual time, they need to relax in order to have sex. The next type is the sexual. The sexual is turned on plain by sex, they love penetration, they love nudity, they love just having fun in bed and that’s one of the great things about them is that they are really fun in bed. Whereas an energetic is like a beautiful Japanese, a sensual is like a French, the sexual is like an American English. They’re pretty simple and I don’t mean simple in that you can avoid playing in their blueprint, I mean simple in that they’re pretty straight forward, like X to Z to Y, I’m good. They love getting right to intercourse, they love having orgasm, they love having ejaculation. The shadow side of the sexual is that they, because they like to go from point A to Point B, it leaves out all the other blueprints. They are a straight line, all the other blueprints have curves and zags and zigs and ups and downs. This one’s in a straight line. That straight line sometimes is not so fulfilling for everyone else and so they have a little bit of sometimes selfishness to them like, “I just want to get from point A to Point B and be done.” Also, if there’s not erection and there’s not orgasm then there’s no sex. Their definition and their sexualities can be very limited and they can only get to the end goal instead of experiencing the whole journey that there is to be unfolded. Then there is the kinky. The kinky are turned on by their taboos. Taboo is whatever is taboo for you, that could be sex out of a missionary position, that could be playing with whips and chains and ropes and going fifty shades. Now, Kinky is like a Persian, it’s exotic. It has an exotic flavor to it. And there’s two different kinds of kinkys. There’s the psychological kinky, which is turned on more by the context of the situation, the frame, the container, the power play, games and then there’s an impact kinky which is someone who’s more turned on by the feelings and sensations. It’s more of a sensation kinky. They are turned on the impact, they’re turned on by the ropes on their skin, they’re turned on by spanking, they’re turned on by more of the sensation aspect than the psychological. Then there’s people who have elements of both. Kinky positive, they are highly creative, they are very fun in that it’s a never ending exploration, you can explore that world of kinky for a long, long time. When they’re out of their shame box, they’re really good at communication, they’re one of the better blueprints at really saying what they need, what they want, what they desire and actually research shows that people with a kinky mindset are healthier psychologically than people who aren’t. For whatever that’s worth, I know there’s a lot of myths around kink and so I really want to break those down.
Then the shadow side, shame. A lot of times is because they desire taboo and sex, they have a lot of shame about their sexuality. The other piece is having a fetish that may become their only route to turn on. An example might be if the only way that you’re turned on is by wearing a yellow raincoat, then that could be a problem if you’re a single guy dating and you have to bring out the yellow raincoat every time you start having a sexual experience because you can’t get an erection otherwise. That becomes a rut which becomes a grave and we have to find other pathways to arousal. That’s the kinky. Then there’s one final one which is a shapeshifter and the shape shifter is someone who is turned on by all of that. They speak every language, they’re very fluent in it. Positive sides, they are great lovers because they can do everything. They love exploring there. They have endless exploration and creativity. They can shape shift and mold into any blueprints and whoever they’re with is going to be more pleased. There are are those of them who are very developed, are mastery level players. The shadow side is that they’re shape shifting into whatever everybody else wants and they never have their own sexuality satisfied. They can be so hungry because they haven’t been fed for a really long time. It’s literally like they’re just starving and they’re in starvation and they can’t figure out their sexuality, it’s like, “I don’t know who I am sexually, I don’t know what turns me on.” They get into an ‘I don’t know place’ and a lot of shut down. Then there’s the shapeshifter shadow person who is just all the shadows of everything. Boy, I will say that is a really tough place to be, you can get out of it but it’s a tough place to be.

O: That gave me goosebumps. Horrible. I think one thing that you didn’t mention is the shadow side of the sensual.

J: Oh yeah. The shadow side of sensual is being stuck in your head and you can’t get in your body-and then another piece of the shadow of the sensual, sometimes they don’t like messes and they can seem very critical. They’re the most likely to be critical like, “That’s not right, this isn’t right,” and they’re in their head thinking about what’s not right and then they start getting angry and resentful and then they start blurting out everything that’s not right and what needs to be done. They can seem like they’re demanding and critical and judgmental and it’s just that they notice everything that’s wrong in the room. My partner is a sensual kinky and he will get up in the middle of us having sex to go fix the music and it drives me bonkers because my energetics’ like, “Ohh, you just pulled the energy cords out of my body, you just left me here. I was in the middle of an energetic whatever,” and he’s like jumping up to go change the music I’m like, “Ahh!” But I understand, he cannot focus and he cannot concentrate because he’s like, that song is wrong. I need a different mood, the volume is too loud, whatever.
He cannot be present with me and so I realize that in order for him to be able to really be with me, which is what ultimately I want as an energetic, I want his full presence and there with me and his full attention on me, his jumping up and fixing the music is just going to help our sexual experience even though if I hadn’t understood his blueprint I’d be mad at him.

O: Thank you, Jaiya. This was an eye-opener, wasn’t it? Because the moment I heard about sexual blueprints and kind of like god damn, I was like, “Ahh, she gets me. She understands me. I know who I am.” I’m so much more infinite potential and so are you. We have so many aspects of our personalities, it’s a never ending, wonderful, Pandora box of exploration. My next guest is Athena Rosette. She is the host of the podcast Alter Ego and she was my guest on episode 87. I was really surprised to find out that her alter ego is a goddess as well. I was like, “Oh, that’s amazing.” When I created my challenge, Awaken Your Inner Goddess, I used the word goddess because when you see yourself as a goddess, it’s something that is bigger than yourself, then you move toward it and you act and you embed those qualities until one day you will merge into that alter ego or some part of her will integrate with you. You draw more power. I have many alter egos. I have a goddess one. I have a super hero one. I have some that I don’t wanna tell you because it’s gonna be too much information. But really, it’s really fun to maybe this Valentine’s Day create yourself an alter ego when you go party, show up in a slightly different way, if you know what I mean. Here you go, this is Athena Rosette.

A: Alter egos can be a bridge to the next version of ourselves because they make a safe space for us to have trial and error without us needing to sacrifice our old identity, it’s like a little safety blanket test zone for a lot of people.

O: I would imagine some people that are listening now will think what about people with split personalities? Can creating alter egos create some psychic side effect? What do you think about that?

A: I actually have a couple of people on my show, one woman, her name is Julie Woods. She does have multiple personality disorder, I believe it’s called Dissociative Identity Disorder now, they’ve actually changed the name of it.

O: The first name was better.

A: That’s definitely an experience that people do have. I haven’t seen that it’s something that becomes a risk like if I split my personality, if I say there’s another side of myself that I’m actually going to have a psychic break. I haven’t seen that in my conversations with people as the consequence. The people that I’ve interviewed that have that experience, the way that they perceive alter ego is through their identity has multiple parts of it, multiple facets of it already and they jump in between those two. That is a part of the wholeness of their identity versus alter ego as a bridge.

O: Do you name your alter egos?

A: I personally don’t name my alter ego.

O: Is it one or many? How many do you have?

A: Mine is one and mine is a goddess.

O: Awaken your inner goddess, you’re so aligned.

A: It’s funny because people are like, “Athena, a goddess, I get it.” It actually has nothing to do with my name and it has everything to do with the way that I feel as an embodied woman. When I was starting my journey of discovering what it is to be a woman, I felt just very limited in my own experiences and I didn’t really know how to be expressed and how to be not only present with myself as a sensual being, first of all, but how to relate my gender with my sensuality, with my humanity, with my connection to divinity was just totally lost on me. What I’ve learned and what I’m continuing to learn is that we as women are all connected through the divine feminine. This is my own personal journey, my own personal belief. To share them, what I’ve learned is that we all have aspects and connection to the divine feminine. The more that I allow myself and open myself to being a powerful, connected, grounded woman on this planet, in this life, in this experience, the more I feel like I’m able to be freely who I am. When I connect with my idea of what is a goddess? Who is a goddess? To me, a goddess is a woman or a feminine identified being, because not necessarily woman by physical expression of gender, who is fully present in who she is and who her power is, she’s comfortable in her yes, she’s comfortable in her no, she is not afraid to share herself regardless of whatever the response will be and she does so powerfully with intention and purpose and play and fun and laughter and intuition and intention. There’s so many things, but for me the concept of goddess, as an alter ego, has been a bridge for me in order to move from my self-perceived identity of where I was before allowing myself to have these characteristics into bridging the gap, into fully embodying these characteristics. For me, the alter ego of a goddess is all about bridging the gap between my self-perceived limitations and being disconnected often times in our culture. There’s a very hyper masculine way to approach business and I was taught about connection a lot more from my mother than from my father which is not necessarily related to masculine and feminine, it’s just how it went in my family. One of the things that women are so good at and have such a skill and such knowledge to be able to teach is connection. I feel like the more I get in touch with connection and intuition and sensuality and my sensitivity as a human being and as a woman, the fuller and the more beautiful and grounded my experience becomes.

O: Thank you, Athena. You are a true goddess. Next up is Alexa Bigwarfe and Aubrey Mathis and they are the host of the podcast Lose the Cape which is the podcast for the modern mom. If you are a single mom, I am here to remind you that you need to take care of yourself and you are more than just a mom. You need to take the time to take care of yourself and put on your own oxygen mask first like they say on an airplane. Every client, every single mom client that I worked with, always tell me the same things, “Wow, now that I take care of myself more, my kids love me. My kids love when you talk to me, Orion, because I smile more or my kid is just telling me, wow mommy, you are so much sweeter.” Because when you take care of yourself, you have the capacity to really help and assist others in a greater way. I also want to remind you to have fun and be a little naughty. Take time to play a little bit this Valentine’s Day. Here’s Alex and Aubrey.

AB: I’m kind of glad that women are starting to come out of the closet in a sexual way. I feel like, I don’t know, maybe this is just a stage or a phase of stage motherhood or something but I feel like women are embracing that a lot more. The whole Magic Mike, XXL, and how much fun it was to just allow, be raunchy in a movie theatre.

AM: Right, but have fun about it. You can gawk and look too.

AB: Yes, awesome.

AM: How could we forget Magic Mike? I mean, for real?

AB: If you do, there’s something wrong with you.

AM: Yes.

O: You can’t. It cannot be unseen.

AB: Ever.

AM: No.

AB: Oh, Channing Tatum, that’s my life poll right there.

AM: That’s what losing the cape is all about.

AB: Abandoning all pretenses and get with Channing Tatum.

AM: That’s so funny.

O: I need to ask questions. I forgot.

AB: We can start talking about Channing Tatum if you want.

O: That’s okay. What is confidence? What do women need to do to gain confidence?

AM: I would say it goes back to what Alexa said about surrounding yourself with people who help you. What do they say? You’re the sum of the five people you spend the most time with and if people aren’t helping you achieve this true confidence, then I don’t think you can get it, honestly. Not a true one. I intentionally put myself in real life and even in the online world with people who are going to give me true confidence, strong women.

O: Tony Robbins says that you are the average of the five people you hang out with the most. I hang out with my cats the most.

AB: Cats are pretty confident animals.

O: Yeah. I started scratching posts lately. No, but for real. It’s really important who you hang out with. I forgot the correct term but something about the neurons. It’s a neuroconnection where you and the person you’re with, almost like your brain aligns. It’s very interesting. Or it’s like going into a store with beautiful perfumes. When you leave that store, some of the lovely smell is going to stick. It’s so important to be around people that support you.

AM: Yeah, that’s my number one tip.

AB: I would say that for me, with confidence, it was hard to do but I just had to cut ties with people that weren’t giving me that. That’s hard because unfortunately, it seems like often, the people that are closest to us can be the worst for us. I started just removing myself from, I don’t like tell anyone I hated them and could never talk to them again but I just stopped engaging with certain groups and certain people and then found the people that did support me and encourage me. My confidence has come a long way. To add to that, having actual successes makes a big difference as well. It’s hard to be confident if you’re out there constantly doing something and never seeing anything in return and never seeing any positive outcomes. That does help.

O:  Yeah. I think another part of confidence can come from honouring your own word. When you say you’re going to do something, you’re going to do it so you can trust yourself more.

AB: Yeah.

O: A part of confidence is self trust. That’s something internal. When you trust yourself that you’re going to follow through, that you’re going to blaze through the obstacles, that you’re going to keep going no matter what, it’s this internal confidence and motivation that can be a really good drive for your life. Thank you so much, ladies. I appreciate you. Thank you for making me laugh because I love laughing. I think, in general, we take ourselves a little bit too seriously sometimes. I love laughing at myself. Before we finish with our last important guest, I want to invite you to join Awaken Your Inner Goddess 7-Day Challenge. Go and join us orionsmethod.com/goddesschallenge. Remember, all the links to all the episodes, and everything is gonna be in the show notes at stellarlifepodcast.com. Our last advice of the day is from the love doctor herself, Dr. Pat Allen, written many books about relationships and love, and was featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and many, many other shows. She had her own radio show about relationships. She’s gonna teach you about feminine energy. She’s also gonna teach you a little bit about flirting. Have a happy, joyful Valentine’s Day, full of love, and light, and remember, I love you.

O: Valentine’s Day is around the corner.

P: Yes, it truly is.

O: I know that when I was single, Valentine’s Day was one of the worst days of the year. What’s your advice to help single ladies deal with Valentine’s Day?

P: Go dancing. Find the nicest place to dance. The way I teach people to get together socially – go take dance lessons in salsa, ballroom, hip-hop, whatever. Go take dance lessons, and then go with the class afterwards to a dance hall and start flirting with people. Dancing, culturally, is one of the closest activities to sexuality.

O: That’s nice.

P: Yes, it is.

O: They’re out there, and they’re dancing. How should they flirt?

P: How they flirt? Eye to eye. He who speaks is male. “Hi, my name is Patricia.” No, no, no! Enigmatic and mystical. Look in the eyes and smile. No talk, if you wanna be the girl.

O: Thank you for joining me on my mission to light people up and change lives around the world. I hope today’s conversation inspires you to step up, go after the life of your dreams, and be who you want to be. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to go to stellarlifepodcast.com for show notes, transcripts, and other cool stuff. Please subscribe, review, and help spread the word by sharing us on Facebook and Twitter. Have a lovely day. I’ll catch you on the next episode.