“If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.” ―Louise Hay
Don’t you wish there was a mute button for your inner critic? Limiting beliefs suck, but we all have it at one point in our lives. Some days we just can’t help but listen to the little voice in our head saying, “you’re not ready” or “you’re not good enough”. Sometimes it’s healthy, and sometimes it can be damaging.
Succumbing too much to these limiting beliefs may hinder you from doing what you really want. Worse, it may even stop you from achieving your destiny.
As the saying goes, “you are your own worst enemy.” So how does one deal with something so challenging? Here’s what I learned so far from some of the books I read and masterminds/workshops I’ve attended.
1. Acknowledge your trauma’s existence. In some cases, when people experience overwhelming trauma, they tend to block that memory out in a process called dissociation. Sometimes the brain can make you unconsciously forget certain fragments of painful memories.
A severe and more chronic dissociation can be considered as a mental illness, but this also very much exists in regular occurrences. Whether it’s something very hurtful a loved one said to you in the past or an embarrassing experience that still gnaws at you today, it would feel so much lighter to acknowledge what you’ve been through. Once you find the root cause of why your limiting thought process is the way it is, you can start building the blocks to fix it from there.
2. Try your best to find the silver lining. Unfortunate events are a part of life. Without the bad, we wouldn’t appreciate the good. Write down the times you’ve gone through your lowest points, and for every one, list the good things that have come out of it.
I must warn you, this will not be an easy activity. This is something that you’d want to set a reasonable amount of time for to create a safe and positive space and reflect on your thoughts clearly. Remember, there is nothing you can do about the past. But if you really must do something about it, help yourself realize that even bad things can be considered gifts.
3. Get rid of the victim mindset. Wallowing in negativity and forcing the blame upon others is unhealthy and unproductive. Take ownership of your actions and move on from the mistakes of your past with grace.
It’s important to realize significant pain and suffering, but do not let this fuel your outlook in life. Avoid making excuses, hold yourself 100% accountable for your actions, and focus on seeking possible solutions instead of being stuck in your own head.
4. Recognize your patterns. According to one of my favorite mentors, Louise Hay, we learn our belief systems as very little children. Then we move through life, creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.
If you self-check regularly, you begin to notice the things that you should change about yourself. The more you’re self-aware, the more you know how to handle difficult situations that may arise.
5. Be kind to yourself. Breaking free from your limiting beliefs is going to be a process. Be patient with yourself and take baby steps first and not a giant leap. Above all, this is about loving yourself wholeheartedly and trusting that anything is possible when you set your mind to it.
Last but not least, learn to forgive yourself. You will continue to slip, make mistakes, and be caught up with bad decisions, and that’s okay. Take a pause and carry on with love in your heart.
If you like to learn more about how you can overcome erroneous self-talk, I recommend tuning in to my interview with Sally Anderson. Sally has dedicated her life to helping others and has created a new, bright ending to her own dark story to coach others to do the same. In this talk, she and I dove deep into the topic of breaking your internal blockages. May your own journey of healing bring you light and love.
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