7 Declarations Single Women Should AVOID

Being single is frustrating… I get it! Everywhere you look there seem to be picture-perfect couples holding hands by the beach, gazing into each other’s eyes over a candlelit dinner or laughing together as they share an inside joke while strolling down the street. It can feel like all around you people are living lives that resemble a mid-nineties Meg Ryan romantic comedy. When you’re single and don’t want to be, the dating scene is dismal and you can’t seem to find your person, you might feel disappointed and want to give up. But wait! It only takes one date to meet your true love. Before you swear off dating forever, remember your thoughts, words, feelings, and attitudes have power in your life. Often, women make conscious or unconscious declarations out of frustration that can block them from finding the love they seek and deserve. Could your thoughts be blocking true love? Here are seven declarations you’ll definitely want to avoid if you want  to manifest your perfect man:

1. I’m never online dating again!

Buzz off Bumble. Goodbye OKcupid. Later Tinder! I’m deleting the apps and I’m not coming back.   

Girl, breathe!

Dating is a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the better your odds of finding the one. Boost  your chances of finding love online with these tips:

  1. Post a profile pic with a winning smile. Skip the filters and duck lips, your date wants to see the real, beautiful you.
  2. Show, don’t tell. Instead of writing things like “I’m intelligent”, mention that you’re working on your MBA or have been published in the Huffington Post.
  3. Change your profile pic regularly – keep things fresh and pique the interest of those who may have glossed over your photos the first time.
  4. Stay positive and stay picky. Don’t waste your time having conversations or meeting people with whom you’re not that interested, but be open to the fact that love might look different than you think. Be discerning and still take risks. It only takes one date to find the right person.  

2. I’m never dating again. 

Now, that’s just a no-no.  Do not block your chances for love – you might be just a date away from finding the one! Learn more about the subtle nuances of dating, ways you can improve your communication, approach, and interaction with men and practice flirting. There is a saying, “ there are the things you know you know, the things you know you don’t know and the things you don’t know you don’t know.” The more you can read up on the art of dating, the better equipped you’ll be to navigate the sea of fish out there. Knowledge is power; invest in yourself and learn about communication and healing past hurts so you can attract and keep the love you deserve.  

3. I’m just going to have one night stands- F#$K it! 

You really want love, but eventually, after many questionable and non-commital ‘relationships’﹘where you didn’t even know if you were ‘a thing’ or not﹘you reach the conclusion that “if you can’t beat em, join em”. First, take a step back and realize that you are hurting and totally frustrated. The truth is that most women, as the receiver of the sexual act, biologically get more attached to their male partner. At the end of the day, this might affect the quality of men you attract into your life and the way they treat you. One night stands will only hurt your self-esteem and worth. You are worthy of love, worthy of being adored, and worthy of finding someone who is both a lover and your best friend. One night stands rarely if ever lead to the kind of relationship you deserve.  

4. I don’t need men in my life, I’m an independent woman! 

With this attitude, you will push true love even further away. From the man’s perspective, he wants you to need him, he wants to provide for you and he wants to be your Superman. If you cannot allow him to give to you, he will not feel like he can “own” his masculine side near you. You can be a kick-ass leader at work, but with your man you need to be feminine to achieve polarity in the relationship.  

5. I’m not “wife” material, so I’m giving up. 

Yes, you are powerful, independent and a trailblazer. Luckily, this is not all that you are. You are infinite potential. Do not keep yourself in a box. What does “wife material” even mean? You make your relationship the way YOU want it to be.  Do not give up, because your perfect man is out there waiting for you to believe that you are ready and worthy of love.  I heard someone say that there are 3 things in life that make you grow significantly: having your own business, having kids and being in a committed relationship. Relationships are not easy. But I can tell you from personal experience that I grew the most from my relationships, both the good and the bad. I wouldn’t change a thing. 

6. I’m going to get the man, no matter what it takes.

Of course, finding love is at the top of your to-do list, but this type of energy comes across as desperate and men can sense it. If a woman is on the hunt, appears too needy or hangs all over guys, men will hightail it out of there and run the other way fast. Instead of chasing, let men come to you by letting them take the lead and court you, trusting your intuition and faith, and surrendering to the universe.Investing in finding a good relationship will be a better resolution with what you might call faith or surrendering.  What you seek is seeking you, but you’ve got to allow it. It’s like when you lose your keys, you can look everywhere but you just can’t find them. Then you surrender, give up looking and they suddenly materialize out of thin air. Do the same thing when it comes to relationships. Put in good effort to meet your man, go on dates, try new things, invest in yourself, and then let it go so the universe can do her magic. Live your life to the fullest with a positive expectancy for him to show up, and he will. 

7. There are just no good men out there!

Wrong! There are good men out there. There are OK men and no-good men too. There is also the perfect man for you and it’s only a matter of time until you find him. But you must first believe this deep down in your heart for it to come to fruition. If you believe there are no good men, that will be your truth and what you’ll find. However, if you trust that you not only deserve amazing, epic love, but also that your soulmate exists and that you’ll find him at exactly the right moment, it WILL happen. Your thoughts and beliefs are energies that have tangible effects in manifesting your life. Harness this energy with positive thoughts, affirmations and trust the intelligent design and timing of your life.  

If you want to learn  more about attracting the man you truly deserve and how to make  2018 YOUR year to find extraordinary, epic and lasting love, please join my FB group for single, amazing ladies. 


Have a happy, joyful, and blessed new year, full of love and light! 

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