It’s the little things that matter. It might sound like a relationship cliché. That is until you realize that we’re conditioned to believe the opposite. Think about your everyday life. Our favorite movies and TV shows are filled with big romantic gestures. Our social media feeds refresh with pictures of yet another proposal or remote island getaway. Even advertisements know how to tug at our heartstrings. Relationships are about everyday occurrences as much as they are big monumental moments. You don’t have to go all out to reignite the romance. Instead, focus on these little things to brighten your partner’s day.
1. Surprise Each Other
Have you ever been surprised with a bouquet of flowers? Or tickets to the big game? Think about how excited you were to receive that unexpected gift. No one is immune to random acts of kindness. Try surprising your significant other with something from the heart. The act alone is enough to fuel the romantic flame – so don’t feel like you need to spend your last paycheck on a lavish item. Treat them to a surprise date night, a special meal, or even a massage. One time my husband took me to a cat cafe. Yes it is exactlly what it sounds like- a place you go to to hang out with cats and have coffee. It was the sweetest gesture and I really enjoyed it.
2. Recap the Day with Gratitude
We all know that communication is key in relationships. But having good communication is easier said than done. We all lead busy lives but it’s important not to lose sight of what’s important. Try to set aside time to recap the day with each other. This helps to keep you connected on an emotional level and can even lead to a deeper understanding of your partner. Both sexes (yes, even women) can struggle with their abilities to truly listen. When recapping the day, aim to sprinkle in bits of gratitude about your relationship. My husband and I tell each other at least 3 things that we are grateful for before we go to sleep. It can be as simple as “Thank you for doing the dishes” or “Thank you for holding my hand.” This way you end up focusing on the good in the relationship and you increase your appreciation to the amazing partner that you have. Appreciation leads to more love and connection and makes for a better relationship.
3. Leave Little Notes
Everyone loves getting compliments. But sometimes saying “you look great” or “I love you” doesn’t go far enough. That’s where notes come into play. Leaving notes is a a great way to leave a tangible representation of your love. Yes, in person compliments are always appreciated. However, your partner can always reread the note for a random pick me up. Write a compliment, a funny memory, or words of encouragement to make them feel extra loved. Notes can go a long way in making each other feel validated and wanted.
4. Shower Them With Kisses
The honeymoon stage doesn’t have to end. Couples in long-term relationships often lose track of the coveted romantic spark found in the initial stages of relationships. We often fall into a monotonous routine filled with prepackaged kisses. Try catching each other off guard with some unexpected tokens of love. By showering each other with kisses, you can make the little moments that much more special. This also rings true for saying “I love you.” What was once a monumental phrase can eventually be used as a knee jerk reaction in relationships. Find moments where you truly feel in love and express it. These small acts of affection can help keep passion at the forefront of your relationship.
5. Go on an Adventure
Remember when you looked forward to romantic date nights every weekend? Now? Your idea of romance is a night on the couch or a meal at your neighborhood restaurant. Long-term relationships don’t have to be monotonous. Break the routine with a spontaneous adventure. No, I’m not talking about going on a lavish vacation. Adventures can come in the unlikeliest of places. Maybe you take a day trip to a new town. Find a nearby hike where you can explore the outdoors. You can even find a new restaurant with exotic cuisine. Whatever you choose, make sure that you’re breaking up your traditional routine. Pick something you’ve never done and carve out some time to experience it together. One of the adventures my husband and I went on was hiking with wolves. It was one of the memorable things we did together lately. Plus, it is also a cool conversation starter when someone asks you “What did you do last weekend?” For an animal lover, any adventure that combines animals and nature is a winner.
6. Be present with your partner
It’s not easy to avoid distractions. Every day we face flooded inboxes, text messages, and social media alerts. There’s no way to avoid technology. That doesn’t mean you have to check your phone every minute of the day. Try setting aside your phone during date nights, dinners, and conversations. Doing so will show your partner that they have your undivided attention. Everyone needs to feel needed in relationships. By setting aside time for just the two of you, you’re proving that they’re more important than your phone.
7. Respect Their Needs
Every relationship comes with compromises. You can’t always do exactly what you want. No couple has the exact same interests so you shouldn’t pretend that’s the case. Still, a little bit of common ground can go a long way. When was the last time you watched your partner’s favorite show or hung out with their friends? You shouldn’t change your whole schedule to revolve around your partner. But you should make the occasional sacrifice and carve out time for his interests. Plus, you can get to pick your favorite activity the next time around.
Love isn’t easy. There’s no magic formula to keeping the romance in a relationship. There are, however, little things you can do to make each other happy. Love is always evolving in relationships. You need to work on it everyday for the rest of your life together. It’s up to you to add more romance and to keep the fire alive in your relationship. Take the time to do the little things and the romance will come to life.
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