Do you want to experience more pleasure, but you are embarrassed to embrace this intimate side of you?
Don’t be shy – exploring your sensual-self is not taboo, despite how much society pressures us, women, to think otherwise. Once you find freedom in your sensuality, you’ll experience the world differently. You will feel more pleasure and become a woman who radiates energy, which draws in others with a magnetic presence, who fully embodies femininity in the emotional, spiritual and physical sense.
But I get it; you may have trouble tapping into this side of you. It could stem from growing up in a conservative family. It can be a sexual shame you may have experienced in your past or being uncomfortable with your body; feeling awkward with the concept of sensuality and what it may entail.
There is a difference between your sensuality and your sexuality: the former deals with physical pleasure that is not exclusively sexual, while your sexuality refers to anything that is related to sex. You can be sensual without being sexual, without feeling lewd, without offending your grandmother. 🙂
Think of sensuality as anything that gives you physical pleasure when it comes to your senses – any smells, any sense of touch, or colors that put you in a particular mood. Whether it’s a whiff of your favorite perfume, or the way your skin feels after you slip into a silky robe, or the energy you get when gazing into a deep blue sky, embracing your sensuality involves fully embracing all the experiences and sensations that life has to offer.
Embracing your sensual-self is a journey. It can start in the comfort and safety of your own home, alone or with a partner. It’s about learning to listen to your body and exploring the different ways in which you can experience pleasure, without feeling guilt or shame.
Create a sacred space
If you’ve ever been criticized by someone, or felt inadequate because of the unrealistic beauty standards you encounter in society, then you know how important it is to create a space where you can express yourself without fear of judgment.
The type of space you choose, and how you organize it is totally up to you. Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. You might choose your bedroom, or a workshop situation with other supportive women, or you might choose to be with your partner.
Set the mood with candles, scents like sandalwood or lavender, choose some soft, sensual music, and remove distractions like phones and computers–remember, this sacred space is a celebration of your deepest self.
Connect to sensual movement
Sometimes, to get to your soul, you need to take a journey through your body. The stress, anxiety and shame you carry around can lead you to tighten and restrict your movements, and force you into unnatural postures.
Sensual movement is about feeling your body’s natural rhythms, luxuriating in your physical form, and dancing away any self-imposed constraints. As you move, let go of your fear, and feel love spreading throughout your body. Unshackle yourself from your inhibitions, and rediscover the pulsing energy that’s deep within you.
No one is watching you, no one is judging you. Stop listening to the negative voices in your head, and give yourself permission to lose control.
Learn about your body through self-touch
In Western culture, there is so much shame attached to the idea of touching yourself, but there’s no need to feel guilty about pleasuring your own body. In fact, touching yourself can help you connect with your deepest desires, strengthen the love you feel for yourself, and help you awaken the powerful feminine energy inside your body.
Play with different outfits and different fabrics, exploring how they feel on your body. Explore the touch of feathers, fur or leather and notice what pleases your body.
Then, gently caress yourself. Listen to what it tells you, and learn what it craves. Give your body the love and respect that she needs. Remember that self-touch doesn’t always have to be sexual, and the goal is to explore your deepest self rather than achieve a climax.
Form a deep physical bond with your partner
Does your partner know how you like to be touched? Do they ever touch you in a sensual way?
In a relationship, it’s all too common that we can take each other for granted, and forget about our physical connection. As we age, sex can become less of priority, and even lapse into a quick, mechanical form of release.
Just like you need to learn to love your own body unconditionally, you need to love your partner’s in the same way. Get naked together and explore each other fully. Not only will this type of intimacy help you learn what gives your partner pleasure, it can also help you become comfortable with your vulnerabilities, loosen your inhibitions, and cement a deeper, more powerful bond.
Rediscover scent and texture
Your senses of smell and touch have a strong connection to memories, emotions, and even your sense of self. A familiar scent can bring you back to a powerful emotion, and holding an object in our hands can trigger long-forgotten experiences from other times and places.
In our everyday life, we tend to become desensitized to small pleasures, like the rich smell of the coffee pot on the stove, or the life-affirming smell of blooming jasmine in the springtime.
Similarly, you can also become desensitized to the smells and textures of your own body, as well as that of your partner. Every person has a unique scent. Take time to experience your own scent, as well as your partner’s without perfumes or colognes.
Embrace the feminine as a strength
Getting back in touch with your body can make you acutely aware of your own femininity. Instead of internalizing the messages we hear so often that feminine bodies are soft and weak, embrace the strength that comes from being a woman.
Where masculinity often represents physical strength, discipline, and domination; femininity can represent different strengths like forbearance, tolerance, and patience. While the masculine and feminine are different, one is not lesser than the other, and we all need to learn to create harmony between both energies within our bodies.
Achieving this harmony will bring you more peace of mind and increase your self-confidence. Permit yourself to explore pleasure. Your life will be freer and more fun, I promise!
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