A Personal Note From Orion

Being an expert in relationships, I often talk about the importance of intention and doing everything from the heart. And while this is particularly important in relationships, it also rings true for another aspect in your life that you may not have thought of: your business, particularly your sales.

When selling to people, you need to come from the heart, meaning, you need to ask yourself: do I really care about how my service or product will serve this person, or am I just focused on getting the sale? If you put customer care and attention first, you’ll quickly see how your sales will skyrocket in correlation. It helps to remember that at the end of the day, you are speaking to another human being – one who has fears and doubts, goals and dreams, and may be seeking your help in dealing with their issues. 

No one knows this better than Connie Whitman, a dear friend of mine who you wouldn’t even realize was selling something to you if she were to get you on a sales call. She’s that good, and totally genuine about it. You’ll learn a lot about the importance of listening and relationship building to grow your sales in my episode with Connie. Tune in! 

 

 

About Today’s Show

Hey, how are you? Welcome to Stellar Life Podcast. This is Orion. I’m so happy that you’re here. My guest today is Connie Whitman and she became near and dear to me. We have developed a good relationship since we met online. I was a guest on her show, Enlightenment of Change. It’s a great podcast. When I was on her show, I spoke about how to survive Valentine’s Day and I gave lots of tips for single women on how to love themselves, how to be confident, how to connect to their feminine self and have more self-love. That episode is relevant to you even if you’re not single because we all need a little bit more of love and self-love. 

But now I invited Connie on my show, and it’s a completely different topic. It’s about sales and what I like about the way Connie does her sales is you know, most sales programs will teach you about formulas and scripts and everything is very structured. And sometimes, there is a reason why there is a bad reputation for salespeople, because if you just go by structure and formulas and you forget that there is a human being with a beating heart on the other side, the sales won’t go as well. You might be really good at persuading that person to buy, but there will be a disconnect and maybe a disappointment. So Connie’s approach is to come from the heart and to build a relationship first. It’s to really care about the customer. And after you build a relationship and the customer knows that you care about them then the sale will happen from a very nice place and the relationship will last for a very long time. 

Connie Whitman has more than 36 years of experience as a sales service coaching, training and development expert, author and international speaker. Her mission is to help build powerhouse organizations that change clients lives for the better. She’s an expert in helping businesses grow their sales and revenue streams by improving internally and externally their communication skills while developing strong relationship-based sales or service culture. So this was just a pleasure and I learned tons and I’m sure you will too. And now without further ado, on to the show.

Hey, Connie, and welcome to Stellar Life Podcast. How are you doing?

I’m doing great, Orion. Thank you so much for having me on. I am really excited about the interview.

I’m really excited to be interviewing you, I was on your show a while ago. It was so fun, we got to establish this nice, sweet connection. I really like you, you’re a very sweet person.

Thank you. Back at you, sister.

Listeners, I sound like a frog because I’ve been having bronchitis on and off. I’m really sorry. Connie here has a beautiful voice, she’s going to make up for that.

You always sound beautiful, Orion.

Thank you. Connie, people will know you better. What’s your mission and passion in life?

Interesting question, I have several. First, I started my business 18 years ago, wanting to help people, corporations, individuals, and small business owners on how to connect intimately. I don’t mean that as a sexual way but to connect with their clients. To build relationships where our voice is heard – what product, services, or whatever it may be that we approach that customer from what is in it for them. So we don’t just have a one and done sale but we have that long-term connection with the client. Anytime they need anything, they circle back to us and say, “Hey, can you help me with this? I’m facing this in my business or I’m facing this in my corporation,” whatever culture is going on. I think of my mission is for people to find their voice and to be able to clearly articulate with their client so that they build relationships and not worry, “Where’s my next sale coming from?”

It’s the biggest problem for entrepreneurs; it’s almost like a wave. One day you’re like, “I’m on the top of the world.” Then the next day it’s like, “Where is my next client? What am I going to do? My business is hitting rock bottom.” Then a month later it’s like, “Yay, I’m on top of the world again.”

It’s truly a roller coaster ride for business owners.

That’s a very necessary skill. I think a lot of people, including myself, sometimes are a little bit scared of selling and making that connection. It seems like you’re about connection first.

Absolutely. It’s interesting. In my own business, I go and consult. Then I train in classrooms or I coach one-on-one with business owners or executives. Whatever the platform that’s needed, I certainly can respond especially because of Zoom, Skype, and these other means that we can connect to people all over the world. It’s interesting. When I train in the classroom setting, especially where I have 15 to 50 people and they ask me a question, “What would you say if a customer said to you, maybe an objection or something?”

I’ll giggle. I’ll stop and think for a minute because I certainly want to answer thoughtfully and help the person who’s asking the question to be able to use it in real life. Because we all deal in reality, at least I deal in reality. I’ll respond and they’ll giggle and go, “You’re so good at this.” I look at them and I say, “I’m good at this because I truly think if a customer’s given me an objection, why are they objecting? How can I reassure them that what they’re buying or purchasing has to be right for them.” You can’t offer something that isn’t a benefit to your customer or client just because you’re going to make money off it. To me, that’s an icky way to sell.

If you truly believe in what you’re offering and the customer objects, you have to dig a little bit, there’s something going on. Usually, it comes to the surface, it’s something silly. We can reiterate what the benefit is or what’s in it for the client and I think that’s important. But we get scared, we get scared that the customer is going to say no. My feeling is, if they say no to me, they’re not the right client for me. I’m cool with that.

I’ll give you a real-life example from myself. I was just at this amazing seminar, it’s called Heroic Public Speaking. I spent eight months becoming a better speaker and presenter, and it was a wonderful program. On the last day, a friend of mine, she does this fingerprint reading. She said that your fingerprint is something you’re born with and you can’t change it. There is something that is called a loop which represents talent. Usually, people have one or two, they’re really good at one or two things, maybe three.

I have eight loops of talents, I was like, “Woah, that’s amazing.” My other two fingers showed that my journey on this planet is to believe in myself, my services, and my talents. Even though I see evidence for a transformation and change, I got clients, I got married and really changed our lives. There’s still this voice in my mind of, “You’re not good enough. What you’re doing is not good enough. Your talent is not strong enough.” It’s in my fingertips. It’s something I was born with.

Somebody who has so many talents also has this problem because they spread themselves too thin where they can’t focus on one thing. This is the shadow side of it. What if you have a good product but you need to learn to believe in yourself more? Sometimes I’ll find an objective and I’ll be like, “Oh, okay.” I won’t even challenge that.

This is so interesting. For young people listening, I call it my inner record player. They call it their iPhone music, Spotify, or whatever. What you’re describing is we all have that negative voice in our head, “I’m not good enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. There’s somebody better than me, etc.” The loop goes on and on. Orion, what you’re describing is your record player is grooved, we’re deeply grooved. That could be from experiences we’ve had in this lifetime or previous lifetimes but we all have that negative voice. It wreaks havoc on us.

Always sell from your heart and never from your pocket or budget. Share on X

Because when you are in front of the customer, you’re having an off day, and they give you an objection, the record player starts. “You suck. You’re not good enough. Who do you think you are?” It goes off on us. My recommendation is, we have to quiet the record player. By doing that, when you have those voices of I’m not good enough or customer gives you that objection, just stop and breathe for a second. I use a four-step approach when I get an objection like what you’re saying, a customer comes back at you. You do the hamada, hamada, nothing comes out of you now. That’s exactly what you’re describing. There’s a four-step approach that I’ve used in my career, 37 years being in sales.

I want to live in your head for one day.

Isn’t that the truth? You know what’s funny, my expertise is financial sales. In financial sales, what we sell is not tangible. The power of our words, our descriptions, and how it benefits the customer becomes super powerful. What you’re describing is intangible as well, remember, unless you have a CD or a downloadable file. Your services are to help the self-development within the human, so you don’t have anything tangible.

Here’s the four-step approach when you do get that objection and you blank out. Number one, empathize with the clients. It could be as simple as saying, “Oh, I understand.” When you say I understand, the customers immediately put in a position of, “Oh, she hears me.” It’s a subconscious response. You start by just saying, “Oh, Orion. I understand.” And then ask a question. You might say, “Of everything we’ve discussed so far, I see that you’re apprehensive, which is cool. Explain to me what’s holding you back or perhaps what I can explain better.” This will enhance whatever their position is, their self-development or whatever it is.

Remain quiet, allow the client to percolate and really be thoughtful in how they’re going to respond. Then they’ll respond with whatever the apprehension is or something you said that didn’t resonate with them. Do you see how I’m digging in? Now, who’s talking? The client. It gives me more information as to what’s holding them back. If it’s money, we could address the cost. Do a payment plan or something. If they’re not sure it’s going to work with them, maybe we could offer a free half-hour one-on-one “how we deliver whatever it is you’re delivering with that client.” It gives you an opportunity to respond back.

The first step is empathy, I understand. The second one is to ask your question, dig in there. The third one is respond with the benefit to the client. “Remember we discussed blah, blah, blah. Remember this is how this is going to benefit you to make more revenue based on cross-selling more with each client.” The last one is reconfirm, say, “Why don’t we have a 30-minute consultation? Why don’t you try it out? If it’s not a match for you, there’s no harm. We do a test pilot with each other,” that kind of thing. You can reconfirm whatever it is you’re trying to sell. Did that make sense?

It made sense, it’s really beautiful. I think that the first step is so important. There is a technique for relationships, it’s called the Imago Dialogue. It’s all about listening. One of the steps is, “I hear you, I get what you’re saying. It makes sense because of blah, blah, blah.” Just saying that to your partner is disarming all the stress and the negative emotion because people just want to feel gotten.

Another thing that I got from you, it’s not about what you say, it’s about how you say it. When you were asking the question, it sounded very caring and genuine. Sometimes people will get the technique and just ask it like a robot, “You said that you feel like this and this and this, I understand.” But the way you said it was very warm, caring, and disarming. It opens up a way for the client to respond in a genuine way and not feel defensive or “Oh, she’s trying to sell me.” But “Oh, she really cares about me. Let me give her an answer.” It’s so powerful in so many levels because when he or she gives you the answers, they actually tell you what to tell them.

That’s exactly right. It’s interesting, you said a couple of things just then. For 37 years, I have never ever done a disservice to whoever my client was. Many years ago, when I graduated from college, I sold investments to clients, individuals. Sitting at their kitchen table and I worked in a bank that offered investments. You sit and you really get to know people and their fears around money and other things. I always treated them as if this was my sister, my mother, or my grandmother. How would I want someone to treat them? You come from a place of respect.

People laugh at me, they think I’m goofy. But I have always sold from the heart, never from my pocket or budget. As soon as you start pushing the products that you’re selling and it’s truly not a benefit to the client, you lose. You feel icky, you feel dirty, and also, that client is never going to refer. They’re never going to come back and purchase from you down the road. You have to come from a place of care. Truly step into their shoes before you make the recommendation, otherwise, I feel it’s malpractice. Whatever product or service you’re offering, when you do it because it benefits you and not whoever you’re serving, shame on you. That is the first thing I teach. You truly have to understand the client.

The other thing you said, you used the word listening, Orion. People don’t listen. Hearing is a mandatory skill, God forbid, we are hearing-impaired. Listening is optional, we take turns as humans talking at each other because it’s a hard skill to learn to listen. It takes a ton of energy from our energy source. You really do have to shut your mouth, ask the question, and take notes or whatever to keep you engaged. As your client is speaking, if you’re thinking about the next thing you’re going to say, not really hearing what their objection or what’s holding them back.

I find that’s why people lose so many sales because they’re not listening. Just listen to your client and they’ll tell you exactly where their fear is. Usually, fear is what holds clients back from buying. What’s that fear? How can I support that so that they go, “Oh, okay. I didn’t understand that.” It’s caring that is critical.

I love it. Talking about shutting your mouth and not talking too much. I have a tendency to. The moment I hear a problem, I want to solve it right away.

Of course. You’re the fixer.

I’m the fixer, I want to fix it. How do I not do it and hold myself quiet?

Usually, what I recommend for folks especially business owners, ask a question and then take notes. This is my little trick. When the client is speaking, I don’t ever interrupt. When they get on a roll, it’s almost like when you journal and you journal without a thought, and then you go back and read it. You think, “Holy smokes, I didn’t even realize I was thinking that.” Same thing with your client. When you get them talking about whatever the situation is that you’re trying to help them with, take notes.

My little trick, Orion, is if there’s something they said that I think, “I got to dig in more. I need follow-up questions,” I put a star next to it. I don’t stop them and interrupt to say, “Wait, I have another question.” I take a note, star next to it. If they say something that I think I can help or give advice on, I put a little check mark next to it. If there’s something that I need them to send me to look at or for us to dialogue via email or something like that, I put a little square next to it. These are my codes. 

While they’re talking, I just write my notes and then I put my codes next to it. When they’re finished, I say, “That was great information. You gave me so much insight which is appreciated. Here are a couple of follow-up questions based on what you told me you need, or what you’re feeling, or whatever the situation is.” I go through those follow-up questions, continue to take notes, continue to use my stars, square, or check mark, and then I go back.

If there’s something based on what they said where I feel they need immediate advice, it’s a silly thing that they’re worried about, I’ll say, “You mentioned this. Here’s my quick fix for that, my recommendation, and blah-blah-blah.” You see how you let the client exhaust everything they want to say and then you circle back after listening, and then you dig in a little more. What happens is it gives that client really a chance to unload everything so you know exactly what’s going on in their head. Orion, the cool thing with that is oftentimes you’ll find that maybe whatever you’re recommending, part of your product or services, there’s even more that you can attach to make even a better solution for that client because you stopped and you listened to them.

Build trust with your clients through care and gratitude. Share on X

Thank you for sharing that. I’ve never heard about this code system. It’s brilliant. It’s very unique.

It’s my own little brain.

You have a big brain. Your brain is huge. That’s wonderful. Just up until now, I have to go back and really take notes and make my own cheat sheets. I remember when I do a sales call, it sounds amazing. We do have checklists on the show, but I think I’m going to do some extra work on this one. What I heard was also gratitude, validation, and appreciation for them for sharing which was beautiful. It’s another step to make them feel very comfortable.

Orion, if we’re not grateful for our clients and for them trusting us, you’ll never ever become good at sales. A couple of things. Body language is really important. Whether you’re on Skype, or whether we’re on Zoom, recording, it doesn’t matter whether you can see the client or not. Your body language is coming through. If you’re frustrated by the client, they’re feeling your frustration. You’re going to get more apprehension and more objections from the client. You have to believe in what you’re saying because if you don’t, then stop. Why are you wasting everyone’s time?

Body language to me is smiling when you’re on with the client or in front of the client. Having open body language, not crossed arms in front of them, making wonderful eye contact. If you’re live on Skype or something where you could see each other—not boring into their eyes but truly showing your care which comes through our eyes as well. If we don’t care about our clients and we don’t feel their energy and feel them, we shouldn’t be selling or offering.

I want to comment on one other thing. The word sales, everybody gets all whipped out, “We’ll lose sales. I got to sell. Oh my God.” For me, you’re not selling anything. Number one, you’re educating your client to what the options are available, to help them with whatever that situation is. You’re a teacher first and foremost. You have to be able to articulate how you can help them or how what you’re offering will benefit them. Again, I’ve mentioned this several times. It’s got to be what’s in it for the client. I think that when we say the word sales. I want everybody to think from the perspective of your job is to educate and your job is to provide a solution for something that is hurting them, holding them back, or whatever it might be.

What you were saying before coming from that place of gratitude and care, I think when people feel that, there’s a level of trust that builds. Then they hear you back because they trust you. You really have to build trust right out of the gate and that comes from that care and gratitude of positioning.

Do you use any questionnaire that they have to fill out before the conversation?

I do, depending on if it’s coaching or if it’s a corporate client. Usually, with my corporate clients, I try to meet face-to-face. If there’s a distance, then we would Skype. I always have an agenda. What have you tried? What worked? What hasn’t? And why, for instance. If they’re trying to build a culture, what has been put in place? What forms and stuff maybe we can build from there? I feel like people have done some work no matter what the venue is, whether it’s a corporate or an individual that I deal with, they’ve done some work.

I always like to find out what have you done that’s working, and then what can I do to build from there so we save time and money. Because both are a limited resource. If I can help catapult from wherever they are, that seems to work as well. I always have either questionnaire for the individual or my own agenda going into a meeting.

I just want to comment on one more thing on that, Orion. Prepare. If you think you can walk—I don’t mean you, I mean generally, the listeners who’re ever hearing this—into a client and wing it, shame on you. You don’t deserve that client’s business. It goes back to that respect and care. If I care enough, I should come in very prepared with my own information, but also with the questions I should be asking.

I like that. You came prepared, what do you start with? What’s the opening conversation?

This is interesting, too. Most people start with, “Well, this is what I could do for you.” I never start with that because that’s about me, that’s not about the client. I always start at the end. For example, I might say to Orion, “Based on what we’re trying to build here,” whatever the topic is, sales, service, leadership, building a business, it doesn’t matter. I say, “In a perfect world, if you had a magic wand, what would the end-result be after six months, a year, two years, whatever time frame you’re looking to achieve this? Tell me your wish list and what does the end result look like?”

As soon as I understand what their expectation is at the end and I know where they are here and now, there’s that gap, that’s where. As salespeople, we help people close the gap. You do that, but once I understand that gap, now I know what questions to ask to start to build the framework of what they actually need, that clarity from them, and then the clarity of how I can help them build from wherever they are here and now.

Do you start with small talk or do you just cut to the chase?

Depending on who the client is. I will tell you, my partner and I, we’ve created an online communication style assessment—it’s free—that we offer to our clients. Once I understand how the client is wired from a communication standpoint, I will go in. Some people need a lot of chat and a nice upfront. You have to do that, that’s how you build trust with them because they have to really know right out of the gate, “This person cares about me.” And I should give them time to build that trust. You have other people that are very driven and direct, it’s like, “Here’s the situation, how can you help me fix it?” You’ve met people like this. They don’t need the chat.

I know someone personally. Myself.

Yourself, yes. With someone like that, I would get in and say, “How are things going?” And then jump in and say, “Hey, let’s jump right into the agenda today. I know your time is limited. You stop me at any point if you have additions questions,” and I jump right in. It depends who the client is. You have to make sure you assess that in that first 30 seconds because if you have someone who has a touchy feeling and you go into the very direct, “Hey, let me tell you how I can help you,” you’ve lost the sale right out of the gate.

Is this tool available on your website?

Yes. I have two websites, but if you go to the wisdomdecoded.com, it’s right on the landing page. It’s a free communication style assessment. You get a little report that gives you an idea of your strengths and, of course, your blind spots. Because with every strength, we have blind spots or challenges. There’s also a companion book which you could get on Amazon. It’s very inexpensive. It talks about all the different five styles that we’ve researched, studied, and built. It goes into how to build on your strengths and also how to address those challenges. If you go to wisdomdecoded.com, it’s free right on the spot. Again, you get that little free report.

That’s beautiful. You went deep with this research.

Yeah, thousands of people. To remember 37 years of doing this business. Being in business, there are so many different behavioral models that I’ve taken myself. I’ve been through—DiSC, Myers-Briggs. They’re wonderful because I do use them also with different clients. I use DiSC a lot, depending on who the client is. The communication style assessment or CSA, when you go in, you have to rank instead of just my most and least, the way some of the other models are built. So it’s harder to cheat because you really have to think about what is my most, what is my least, and how do I rank in the middle. It gives a fairly accurate rate on who you are.

That’s awesome. When it comes to high ticket sales, how do you position that?

It’s a good question. Most of my clients are corporate clients, so they’re high ticket purchases. This is just very interesting, too. Again, I listen, I hear them, I never give a proposal or pricing on the spot. I will go back, create a proposal, and then I have a fee schedule that I use with every client. My fees are not negotiable, I know a lot of business people. If the price is an issue, they’ll say, “All right, I’ll give you a discount.” Absolutely not. If you’re priced fairly for what you’re delivering, you should never ever offer a discount.

Let me define that further. I want to build relationships with my clients especially because they’re a big ticket and I want a recurring contract every year with them. If they hire me for 20 sessions where I come to their location 20 times, I offer a 5% discount on my per diem. I offer ultimately about a 20% discount after I think it’s 50 or 60 sessions; I’d have to look at my fee schedule. Once they hit that breakpoint, every year, they don’t have to hit that 50, 60, 80, whatever it is sessions that they’re scheduling with me. Next year, if they sign a contract with me again, they’re at my lowest price. They don’t have to do it every year. I’m building relationships, so that’s how I offer discounts. I never offer a discount if they want me for a one-and-done. They’re paying my highest fee and I don’t negotiate that.

That’s brilliant. I know some coaches, for their programs, they will grandfather you in. If you start right now, you’re going to have a low price. When the price doubles, still for years to come, you still pay this low price.

Correct. And it works. I have one client, a lone corporate client that actually became the number one bank in New Jersey. We’ve built such a wonderful culture and I’ve been working with them for 13 years.

That’s insane. That’s really awesome and very impressive. It’s great to be able to have the opportunity to have the sales conversation, but how do you generate leads?

That’s a good one. My career has been that I live off of referrals. I know everybody is like, “Oh yeah, right. Sure, she does.” I do. A client I just signed at the beginning of the year, a very nice contract. I’ve met him through another client. He left and now he’s running. He’s an executive with another corporation, other organization. He was there for a week and he called me, “There’s no culture. We need to build service and sales culture. What’s your availability? I need to put the budget in.” I didn’t even have to sell. I just said, “Okay, let me send you my price sheet,” because he knew me, I said, “I’ll send you my fee schedule and we’ll talk about what you need and then we’ll just build it.”

He and I backed into what a budget would’ve been for this year; this was last year. He’s adorable. I recently saw him when I was at their location. He’s like, “You know? August, we need to schedule next year,” and I said, “Okay, we don’t have to do it in August. We could do it in October for 2020.” “Nope,” he says, “I want to do it in August. We have the budget numbers, so I get first dibs on your schedule.” It was hysterical. I was like, “Okay, whatever you want. It’s okay with me. I’ll just mark my calendar early.”

I live off of referrals and it takes time to do that. I’ll go back to the beginning. Thirty-seven years ago, when I started, I was actually selling insurance. Every client I went to, I sell from the heart—I really would tell clients, “You don’t need this life insurance. Your budget is so off that you’re not getting food for your kids. That’s a problem. Instead of selling you insurance, let me help you with your budget and get you so that you can save money, so that six months from now we can buy the insurance you need, God forbid something happens.”

I didn’t get paid if I help them in their budget, but I’m sitting there. Is this my sister? Is this my mother? This is what they needed from me and I had the capability and ability to help them, I would help them. I would always ask, “Listen, if you have family members that are in a similar situation, truly I’m happy to help you. Just send them my way and I’ll take care of them.” Within five years, I was living off of referrals. I was in my 20s then, Orion. That was unheard of because most people thought, “You’re young and you’re a girl. What do you know about finances?”

I was also going for my MBA in the evening. Aside from that, I could articulate what they needed but I would help them put the puzzle pieces together so that long term plan that they could have the insurance of God forbid something happen to the mom or dad in the family. You have to ask for referrals but you have to earn that privilege. That’s how I lived my entire career. When I started my business 18 years ago, I just network, network, network. You start to build connections and relationships, and I get referred all over the place. I’m very blessed. Cold calling is stupid, by the way.

I love what you said that you got to ask for referrals but you have to earn it. People look for shortcuts, for the magic pill for this new online program. There are so many shiny objects out there that promise you a quick fix. The truth is that you have to earn it, you have to do the work, and you have to prove that you can get them the results.

It’s exactly right. You have to have a good reputation for delivering. The other thing you just said, the shiny, new class online or whatever the program is, social media isn’t so social. Here’s what I mean by that. LinkedIn is big for me because I’m more on the corporate side, but I’m also on Facebook. You have to post things that are relevant to whoever you’re seeking as a client. You don’t ask for business. You just show that these are my capabilities, these are my qualities, this is what I am good at. If you need the service, I’m your person, but you share content, free content.

Your values have to be inlined with your passion and they should resonate with your clients. Share on X

On the social media side, we have to be careful because you can’t just keep sharing free content with no direction. I’ll just give you an example, LinkedIn. Every day, I spend five minutes. That’s all it is, five minutes on LinkedIn. I don’t care that I have 10,000 or 20,000 LinkedIn connections. I would say, at least 80-90% of my LinkedIn connections know me or they know someone that they requested to connect with me because of someone that they know, their recommendations. They were referred to join me on LinkedIn. Does that make sense?

Every day, five minutes. If someone new I need, I will connect with them immediately on LinkedIn so I can build a conversation with them. One guy, he’s out west somewhere, works for a bank out there, and I think he requested to connect with me. There’s an article written, they post it on LinkedIn for you. An article shows up, I read the article. I always go back, and I send a personal message to him. I won’t use his name, but I’ll say, “Hey John, read the article. You’re doing amazing things out there with you and your bank, you should be proud of yourself. Always excited to see you in the news LOL. Warmest regards, Con,” and then I send it off.

He and I have developed this really wonderful relationship through LinkedIn. I haven’t gotten business from him but I know, if ever he needs my services, he already trusts that I’m real because I care and I’m interested in things that he’s doing. You have to be authentic but you have to spend that in five minutes a day, Orion. Get into that habit of reaching out to people, it’s their birthday, it’s their anniversary. Don’t just do congrats, click the link that LinkedIn provides.

This is why I’m not on LinkedIn a lot, it feels like fakery. People don’t really talk to each other, it’s all about, “Hi, nice to meet you. This is my service, let me know if you need it. Bye.”

Absolutely not. When people do that, I put them on ignore.

I don’t like it at all.

If you get out there on LinkedIn and you find your people, the network or the group that you’re trying to connect with and write a really cool article, and you say, “Hey, guys. I thought this might be of interest to you, read the link below,” you share just valuable content and you do that once a month or whatever it is. Again, they’re in your clan of people. All of a sudden you start to get a true conversation happening.

On LinkedIn, when I post one of my shows, I might get 50 replies, comments, likes, hearts, different things, “Keep rocking, Con,” and every time I get a comment, I personally respond. That’s how you build this authentic, real connection. Orion, I care about people so deeply. This is so easy for me to do. It’s just part of my wiring. I’m telling you, if you start to leverage that and respond properly to the right people, you’ll start to build momentum on LinkedIn as well. I’ve gotten business from LinkedIn doing that, too.

That’s really cool. It gives me some hope around LinkedIn. Some people are actually having real conversations there. That’s great. Good to know.

It’s happening. It’s funny. I just developed, for this new client, a business development class for his people that I have to go out, network, and different things. LinkedIn is one of the key topics that we’re going to discuss. As a matter of fact, they need to be on LinkedIn. They need to be prepared when they go to networking. I have a whole bunch of networking tips so that you truly build connections at a networking event, not just, “I have walked out with 20 cards.” Who cares? Who did you meet? Who did you have a real nice conversation with? Maybe you could support each other outside of the networking.

It tells people that after a networking event, you don’t need to look at the card. They’re in your heart, they’re in your mind, and you think about them. That’s your connection, not all the million cards. People think networking is just exchanging cards. That’s BS.

I’m sure it’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to your sales process. But let’s say, we are proficient enough to make tons of sales and our businesses are exploding. Now, we need more help and we need stuff. You told me that you use DiSC. We use DiSC in our hiring process. When you are about to hire a VA or an EA, what are the qualities on DiSC that you’re looking for?

Number one, if we’re talking DiSC, I would want someone who’s like an ID combination or a DI if they’re going to be customer-centric. I need them to have the people’s skills but I also need them to get the job done and focus on the business. If it’s something like helping me build a website or create that constant contact reaching out to my clients where it’s a more technically based, I want someone who is a lower key and very detail-driven. I would probably look for a CS combination or an SC combination which is just someone who can get into the dirt and peel back the onion to get to wherever it is that they need to build.

Here’s the other thing, on DiSC, I’m a real high I and a real high D.

We’re the same. I got 99% on my D and I, and I forgot the rest. Somebody told me—it was a Tony Robbins’ coach—he was like, “The only time I saw a score like yours were two people. One is Tony Robbins and one is one of his top coaches.” I was like, “Wow, that’s amazing.”

That’s amazing. I like the peaks at the top. But the I’s are people connection that we truly care to our bones. The D is, “Alright. Enough now. Now pull the trigger. We got to do this. Time is of the essence.”

I need more of the implementer, the detail-oriented, the one that doesn’t want to shine in the spotlight but would like to support somebody who shines on the spotlight and support their mission. That’s the person I’m looking for. What is the DiSC that I’m looking for?

You want either an SC. S is empathy. C is the inventor. They can create. They could go into the miniscule minutiae. A CS would be somebody who can get into the minutiae and then, they could get to the emotional side if they need to communicate with others. Depending on if you’re building a team and you need someone whose detailed-driven but you need them to work with two or three other people, you probably need the SC combination. You need somebody to work independently, they don’t need people around them, they just need to dig in there, then I would look for the CS.

What do I put in the ad to attract these people?

Definitely, detail-driven, organized. I’m trying to think of all the things I’m not. I am not detail driven. I am extremely organized. That’s the D part of me. I would ask for someone who can multitask. If you have multiple projects going on, Cs can get analysis paralysis where they get stuck in the mud; that’s not good. You want them to have a little bit of a D so they would be a CS with a rising D kind of thing. They have to be organized, detail-driven, able to meet deadlines, be able to prioritize tasks so that they meet those deadlines. Again, support you in any way that you need because, remember, Orion, your blind spot is the detail. 

You would also want to include that they need to review stuff for you from a detail perspective because you are not detail-driven. They have to be able to verbalize to you, “Hey, Orion. You missed this. You need to include it.” They can’t be a wallflower where they’re waiting for you to drive everything. That’s where that little bit of a D is going to be needed. 

What’s a little bit of a D? What’s the score there?

I would want someone maybe 40% D. Not 5%. It’s not enough.

Of course. We’ve been trying to hire a new staff. I have a big bullshit detector. They’re interviewing and they’re lying to my face. It drives me nuts. I’m like, “Where did all the good ones go? Where are they?” I just feel like it’s extremely hard to find a really great person with great values. Wouldn’t you think?

I do and it’s interesting. That’s a whole another topic. That would be another thing I would say. They have to have the same values as you. They have to believe in your mission because if they don’t, they’re going to go through the motions but they’re going to miss the secret sauce, the piece of the secret sauce that they might be able to contribute. Their values have to be inlined with what your passion and your values are for your clients. Otherwise, they could actually damage your business which is dangerous.

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I know that Dr. Demartini has on his website the value assessment. It gives you their top three values, views. Anything else does determine their values? How do you find out that they are aligned with your mission?

You know, it’s interesting. I think I’m very intuitive. Maybe that’s why it’s a strength. It’s one of my strengths. When I ask a question, I can feel if they’re being authentic or if they’re just saying what I want them to say. Also, what I do is if you ask the question a couple of different ways, you will find out whether they’re answering you truthfully or BS.

Connie, your tagline in your business that I saw on your website is, “Growth through imagination.” What does that mean?

I believe, growth, we have to self-develop every freaking day. It’s worth the effort, but you have to do it.

You got to work, work, work on yourself.

You do. Here’s the deal, if I’m not healthy, mind, body, and spirit, how could I possibly help anyone else? Even if I’m good at sales but I’m a mess inside, I’m not going to be able to have the stamina, strength, or energy to be able to articulate with someone else’s needs. Growth absolutely is that self-development.

I think we have to use our imagination. I meditate every day, number one, to quiet my mind because I’m crazy insane. I’m constantly in business mode which is dangerous. Meditation helps me calm my brain so that I sleep, but I do it in the morning as well to focus. “Is there anything that I’m missing?” When you meditate, I feel like there’s some divine intervention that tells you, “You need to do this today.” Meditation helps. Because I’m so business-focused and I’m always driven to that, that I feel I don’t always address my imagination. Meditation helps me with the imaginative part.

When you meditate, you don’t do a guide in mediation. You sit and you imagine your day, you imagine your goals. What do you imagine?

There’s a couple of different ways.

Do you put music? 

I do.

Do you have a certain place in the house?

Yes.

What do you do there, Connie?

I put the soothing music on, like a spa-type of music. Sometimes, I need a guide at meditation if I’m firing and I can’t shut down. The guided meditation absolutely helps me refocus and calm. For the morning, I just listen to music and I just do yoga breathing from the belly. I expand it when I breathe in. And I just dream my dreams. What do I visualize doing a year from now? Five years from now? Ten years from now? The answers come. 

It’s a little spooky sometimes because all of a sudden you’re percolating on something, “What do I do?” Then, you meditate and it’s like, “Oh, that’s what I should do.” You look at yourself like, “Why didn’t I seen that before?” It’s divine intervention, but you have to quiet your mind to get there.

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I think the first episode on Stellar Life Podcast, I had an expert on the nondominant handwriting where one of the ways to get a download is if you’re right-handed, you ask a question and you write it with your dominant hand. Then, you can hold a pen with both hands. You ask the same questions and you write it with your nondominant hand. It’s quite remarkable what comes up from that creative part of your brain. The answers are completely different.

You can start by doing something simple like asking, “What’s my totem animal?” For me, it was—my dominant hand—a lioness. My nondominant hand was dolphin. It’s quite awesome. Sometimes I used it to get downloads that are not from my linear, strategic, left brain type of driven, dominant all that here. From that deeper part of the subconscious mind that is more connected to that universal infinite intelligence that has all the answers inside of it.

I love it. Just to build on what you said because we do need that, you and I are very linear. Do this, do this, do this. This is the business. Focus, focus, focus. Well, crazy. You’re a crazy person. 

I overthink everything.

Overthink everything because we don’t want to make a mistake. When you start with that left hand, not only writing it, but if you start just using your left hand making your coffee in the morning, putting your socks on, use your left hand, putting your shoes on, left hand. That does exactly what you’re saying with the writing. It builds that muscle of creativity.

I love that. If you’re a lefty, just do it on your right hand. Reverse it, so everybody gets the benefit. 

It’s cool. I just want to comment on one more thing because we’re almost out of time. People will say, “Oh, I can’t meditate. I have the monkey mind. Nobody has a bigger monkey mind than me.” I met this really nice gentleman online. See, again, you meet people when you’re supposed to. His name is Adam Brewster, I think. He’s going to be on my show during the summer. He has a three-minute meditation, literally. He is awesome. He takes you to this guided meditation. It’s three minutes. One for visualizing, one for peace. He has all different methodologies but they’re three minutes. So anyone listening, if you think you’re not good in meditating as we’re talking about meditating, using left hand and all of these things. Sometimes, as simple as a three-minute meditation can help you create energy for the day or whatever it is you’re looking to do with the meditation.

Right. We have three minutes left. In those three minutes, I want to ask you, Connie, what are your three top tips to live in a stellar life? That’s number one. Number two, where can people connect with you? Also, share a little bit about your awesome podcast.

The top three tips of living a stellar life. Number one, be real with yourself. Just be honest. Because you know what? We’re not perfect. I think when we start looking at our blind spots, that’s where the magic happens. That’s where we become our 2.0, 3.0, 4.0, version. So be real. Don’t lie to yourself.

Number two, own it. You make a mistake, own it. Stop deflecting and blaming the world for all the things you don’t have. It’s a load of crap. Just own whatever’s happening and figure out how to change it.

The last one is, your thoughts do become your reality, so choose wisely. But choose because I have people who say to me all the time, “Oh, if it wasn’t for bad luck I have no luck.” Again, that’s a load of crap. You’re making a choice to not move forward or not do something. That in itself is a choice. There are my three tips.

If you like more information, go to whitmanassoc.com. That’s my business. If you’re interested in the radio show which I’d love for you to tune in to, it’s called Enlightenment of Change and it’s on webtalkradio.net.

And listen to my interview there.

Yes. I think you’ve been on twice already, Orion, right?

I was scheduled for the next one but we didn’t get to do it yet.

You and I have to schedule that as well. Enlightenment of Change on webtalkradio.net. You can hear Orion and I chat more.

Yeah, it was a wonderful interview.

Thank you so much.

I love your show. Your show is wonderful. I encourage everyone to listen to it. 

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for being here. You’re amazing.

I love you. Feel better.

I love you, too. And thank you, listeners. Be real with yourself. Own your mistakes. Your thoughts become your reality. Choose wisely but most importantly, choose and have a stellar life. This is Orion. Until next time.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

✓ Offer your clients something that you can swear by. The goal is to present something that you believe will benefit your customer or client. Sales should be about solutions first and earning profits later. 
✓ Don’t lose motivation after the first “No” from a customer. Rejection is part of the sales process, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t sell. Keep improving your communication and sales skills. 
✓ Empathize with your clients and listen to their concerns intently. You can be of better service when you fully understand where they are coming from and what they are looking for.
✓ Learn how to communicate effectively. When it comes to convincing your clients, it’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. 
✓ Be aware of your body language during meetings, even if you’re on Skype. Make the client feel as comfortable as possible by exuding positivity.
✓ Express your gratitude to your clients. Make them feel appreciated for giving their trust to you. 
✓ Prepare an agenda and questionnaire before each meeting. Create a framework that will help you get all the info you need to use for a successful sales presentation.
✓ Reach out to people. Be confident in making the first move. You should be able to put what you sell out there rather than waiting for people to knock on your door.
✓ Meditate and don’t overthink anything. Maintain a lightness within you and let that reflect towards your words and actions so that you can attract more people and get more attention.
✓ Tune in to Connie Whitman’s podcast, Enlightenment of Change and Orion’s podcast interview on her show to learn more about self-love and self-care.

Links and Resources

About Connie Whitman

Connie Whitman has more than 36 years of experience as a sales, service, coaching, training and development expert, author, and international speaker. Her mission is to help leaders build powerhouse organizations that change clients lives for the better. She is an expert in helping businesses grow their sales and revenue streams by improving internal and external communication skills while developing a strong relationship based on sales/service cultures. She is also the Co-Founder of Wisdom De-Coded and the host of her radio show, Enlightenment of Changes, a free resource for leaders and professionals looking to fast track their careers.

Disclaimer: The medical, fitness, psychological, mindset, lifestyle, and nutritional information provided on this website and through any materials, downloads, videos, webinars, podcasts, or emails are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical/fitness/nutritional advice, diagnoses, or treatment. Always seek the help of your physician, psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, certified trainer, or dietitian with any questions regarding starting any new programs or treatments or stopping any current programs or treatments. This website is for information purposes only, and the creators and editors, including Orion Talmay, accept no liability for any injury or illness arising out of the use of the material contained herein, and make no warranty, express or implied, with respect to the contents of this website and affiliated materials.