Episode 321 | June 6, 2023

How Pregnancy Affects Your Child’s Future with Kristin Van Wey – Parenting Series Part 3

A Personal Note From Orion

Welcome to another captivating episode filled with transformative insights and empowering wisdom from the Stellar Life podcast. In this episode, we embark on a remarkable journey with Kristin Van Wey, exploring the depths of conscious parenting and the magic it holds for both you and your children.

Kristin is an internationally recognized leader, educator, speaker, and trainer in innovative approaches to well-being. With over 30 years of professional experience in health, Kristin is one of the leading voices on the use of essential oils. Beyond her expertise, Kristin’s humanitarian efforts have brought hope and empowerment to communities in crisis, showcasing her commitment to partnering with others to serve communities globally. Her contributions extend far beyond the realm of well-being, making her a true beacon of inspiration and positive change.

As we delve into the teachings of Gene Keys and the inherent curiosity and joy that children possess, Kristin’s unique perspective and wealth of knowledge can illuminate the path and guide us toward conscious parenting with great clarity.

Orion invites you to reflect on the extraordinary role you play as a parent, not only as a genetic engineer and architect but as a guiding force in your child’s life. Embrace the opportunity to nurture their curiosity, honor their authentic moments, and encourage them to create their own magic. The impact you have on their growth and development is immeasurable.

Thank you for being a part of the Stellar Life community, where we’re passionate about personal growth and the ability to create a stellar life -– not only for ourselves, but for our loved ones and for our communities. Now, let’s dive into this transformative episode, filled with love, wisdom, and the power to awaken the conscious parent within you!



In This Episode

  • [03:51] – Orion welcomes Kristin Van Wey to their third parenting series, where they talk about nature’s head start program.
  • [05:49] – Kristin discusses the daily energy routine from Donna Eden.
  • [18:34] – Kristin discusses nature’s head start program as the start of conscious parenting.
  • [23:16] – How can we best navigate the traumas in multi-generational relationships?
  • [26:55] – Kristin relates the concept of Gene Keys and human design to the importance of being a genetic engineer and architect of your future offspring.
  • [34:17] – How to take care of your genius from the inside out?
  • [41:54] – Kristin explains how core wounds enter your relationship with a child as a parent. She emphasizes the need to increase the bandwidth of your health.
  • [46:50] – Kristin talks about shifting the expressions of our genetic patterns and the power of knowing who we are.
  • [53:17] – Kristin shares her top three tips for living a stellar life.

Jump to Links and Resources

About Today’s Show

Hello, lovely. How are you doing?

Hello. I’m doing really well. In fact, my energy is flowing effortlessly today. When you came on, I thought about our topic today: conscious parenting and nature’s head start program. I think every parent would benefit from having a tool called the Daily Energy Routine.

The Daily Energy Routine with Kristin.

That is Donna Eden, energy medicine extraordinaire. She’s the brilliant mind behind so much of the movement of understanding how our bodies and energies connect, the electromagnetics, and all the responses within our system.

I was very conscious and sweet with my toddler today, regardless of being exhausted, because emotionally, I feel so full from the trip, having fun, and spending time at the pool. So we went to Gator World. We ate good food, and we met nice people. It was so nice.

Usually, if it’s not after vacation, you know how they are, especially at two and a half, they’re just pushing the boundaries, wanting to see what’s allowed, what’s not, and how far they can take it. He’s got this little bit of a rebel spirit because it means a part of the age. He’s stubborn, and I’m stubborn.

The ultimate goal is to take ourselves from a homolateral state to a bilateral state.

I think this exercise is essential for every parent watching, listening, or every human being because we all get to a point where we’re like, “Oh my God, I need to perform, I have an interview with this incredible person, but I’m so tired. What can I do?”

There are so many things you can do. That’s the joy of feeling like we have some tools to navigate our everyday life. I love to use essential oils, and I love to use energy medicine because they’re just very inexpensive. My hands are free, actually. There are some things that you can do to reconnect the energy systems.

The body was designed, and your system was designed to move in a crossover pattern down to the double helix of your cells. We move like a robot when we get out of a bilateral pattern.

That looks like a little dance.

That’s right. That’s so good for you. That’s the first thing, Orion, as you can put on some music, move your body, and move that beautiful figurate because the system, whether physical or emotional stress, can be used when you have pain in your hip, which is homolateral. We start going into a homolateral position, which will disrupt all of the bones in our body.

There are a lot of things that we can do. All of them affect what’s called the corpus callosum. It’s in the center of your brain. We talk about it sometimes when you and I do these shows together. The corpus callosum is a bundle of nerve fibers in the center of the two hemispheres of your brain.

You have two hemispheres of your brain; the corpus callosum sits in the middle of them. It is a nerve bundle. It creates this flow of energy that keeps things bilateral, right and left hemispheres communicating. You’re able to use your whole brain instead of half your brain. When you feel depressed, sad, or sick, your system is homolateral. That has a lot to do with programming, belief systems, and patterns in life.

The ultimate goal is to take ourselves from a homolateral state to a bilateral state. There are a lot of ways to do that. The daily energy routine we discussed, and then you can do Donna Eden.

A couple of things that can help us get both hemispheres talking again is when you start to feel yourself being triggered, you’re going to cross your ankles and your wrists, you’re going to drop your thumbs down, then you’re going to interlace your fingers, and then you’re going to roll your hands up. If it’s uncomfortable, you can leave them in your lap, but I usually do this.

This will be a very simple way to get the right and left brains talking again. Traditionally speaking, your right brain is about imagination, feelings, emotions, and creativity, all of those things in the intuitive side of us. The left brain is predominantly known for logic, reason, numbers, words, etc. If you’ve ever been in an argument or felt like you can’t come up with words, that homolateral part of your brain that this corpus callosum, freezes up a little bit, and it doesn’t allow the words to come through.

When my children were little, and they were having temper tantrums, this was one of the things that I taught them to do.

According to Gene Keys, kids innately have curiosity and joy. Honor and celebrate the moments when your child feels excited and alive. Encourage your child to create their magic moments. Share on X

At which age?

As young as they can get their little hands together. Sometimes I would help them put their hands together. Cross-crawls are the other things you can do that force this behavior. That is something that we teach our children.

You may have seen it in brain gyms or different things, where they’ll do ear rolls to help move the energy and help them to listen and pay attention. If you’re telling your child something or need to focus on something you’re learning or listening to, start at the top of your ears and massage down, or you can start at the bottom and massage up. It doesn’t matter. Do that a couple of times.

Massaging the ears also gives you access to the entire body. You’re coming down with something you’re not feeling as well. It will vitalize your entire body through your ears. These are just little things. This isn’t part of the daily energy routine, but we call this sitting in the whole brain, and then you have cross-crawls.

Do you need to change how you clasp your feet to make it more interesting?

You have different options. When I’m stressed out and trying to calm down, I will go which way feels the most natural. After I take some deep breaths because breath moves energy, I will start breathing diaphragmatically into my nose. You can exhale with some sounds, and then you should swap.

Yeah, I just swapped. I think it’s good for the brain to swap.

Yup, you’re just moving that. You want to move there. I will show you a few because you said your energy’s low ebb. First, we can never heal or get back into alignment if we’re in a homolateral state. We want to do something like cross-crawls or sitting in the whole brain.

The next thing we can do is called the four thumbs. You’ll find your clavicle and the centerpiece, and trace underneath until you find the dip on the clavicle on either side.

Perfection is awareness and presence — sacred, intimate, child-conscious, and child-rearing. Our presence isn’t defined by what happens on our journey, but by how we navigate through those things. Share on X

I found the dip.

Yeah, under the clavicle and find your dip. Everybody’s got a dip. Some people’s dip is wide, and some people have narrow. Embrace it until it’s synced in. Then you can massage those deeply or tap them as you breathe.

You’re going to massage it across.

If you do this, you’re doing excellent because you’re reinforcing that crossover pattern, and that’s great. Breathe two or three deep breaths in while you do this. That’s if you’re stressed. Let’s imagine we’ve done that a few times. Now we’re going to hit your thymus or massage it. I sound like a human hollow.

I did Naam yoga, and one of the breathing exercises they taught was to take a deep breath, hold it, take a deep breath, hold it, and keep holding until you can.

Then you count. You’re pounding more on your kidney 27. I want you to pound right in the center of your breastbone. There’s a dip as you come straight down. There’s also a dip right around here. That’s Tarzan right here. You want to be firm with yourself.

If you wake the energy up, this is your energetic immune system. By the time you pound this, you’re moving energy and saying to your body, “Hey, cells, let’s get on it. Let’s get all those white blood cells moving.” I can even see your energy shifting already.

I feel like it’s shifting. It’s better. Thank you.

Now, the middle of the breast. Easier to find then, obviously, but you want to find the nipple. Come straight beneath it. If you’re large-breasted, you will pull up underneath. There’s a dip in the ribs. Mid-breast line. Can you find the dip?

Underneath the breast line?

It’s right on the breast line. But if you’re large-breasted, you will be up underneath the breast. If you’re not large-breasted, it will be right at the breast lump.

I’ve become larger-breasted lately in the last two and a half years. After I gave birth, they were so big. 

Do some figurates around your energy build. You can play your favorite song with your child and take all the good energy crossing over you while you dance and move.

Isn’t that the craziest thing? The human body is amazing.

I was so happy, but it was like a forbidden fruit.

Do not touch. Anyway, you’ll find a very tender spot. You want to massage that throughout the day. If you wake up doing these exercises, this can start the energy moving, recycling through, and moving out. That is your spleen.

That’s my spleen. Every time I get an acupuncture, they put the spleen meridian.

Yes. That’s what you’re working on.

Wow, that feels great.

Massage it out to the midline of your body. Next, go to your side and then massage up and down.

When you do tapping, this is at that point too.

That is true. That’s one of the side taps. The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Thought Field Therapy (TFT), or any of those techniques are tapping on the meridians to infuse new information. After you’ve done this, we have one more thump directly between your eyes on the eye bone underneath. After that, you’re just going to breathe. Remember, the breath moves energy.

There are so many other exercises we can do. Just do some figurates around your energy build. Take all that really good energy that’s crossing over now. You could play your favorite song with your child and dance and move.

It’s usually with his favorite song, which is garbage trucks.

That’s right. You got it. You can do this to any song. You can go in and out, go up and down, and spread it all around. You want to move the energy, and suddenly, you can take a big deep breath.

Voila, we can begin. I’m so alert.

That’s a great way to start your day. I smell my citrus oils about when it hits 2 or 3 after processing your meal. Do this again. Open up those energy centers, and you can just figurate yourself, your child, or your partner, and it would be amazing.

Nature’s head start program is one of the most important gifts of knowledge we give ourselves as parents. It’s the art of being present with our children.

Thank you. I feel completely different. I feel more grounded and more here. When we started, I was fighting through the fog. Now the skies are clear, and we can begin.

That is an excellent response; it happens to me almost every time. If that doesn’t work, have your husband, or if you don’t, try to find somebody or a wall with a corner on it. Do a spinal flush. Start at the top of the back of your head and massage down to the tailbone two or three times, and that’ll affect your nervous system. You can put in some essential oils. If you need to wake up, use peppermint or a grounding blend to go down the spine.

What I do is I grip it down my spine if I don’t have anybody here, I rub it up against the wall in the corner, and I make it move.

Today, after this surprising, wonderful beginning to our conversation, we will talk about nature’s head start. So what is it, darling?

It is one of the most important gifts of knowledge we give ourselves as mothers and fathers before we can see during and after. It’s the art of being present with our children. There are a lot of different aspects to this.

Nature’s head start program is the start of conscious parenting. That is my dream and why I started a nonprofit called LETS. It was to educate men, women, and youth starting about nine years old, on how their body operates to know that there are only six days out of a month that a woman can get pregnant. When we come together, we can actually choose when to conceive.

You’ll hear a lot today about some of the work that Bruce Lipton teaches. He’s the one that coined this Nature’s head start program. Talking about the things below our awareness or above our awareness in epigenetics teaches us that we can consciously create life and the importance of life in the womb. It’s not just when the baby’s born that it gets programmed. It starts at conception. It’s very important to understand the importance of caring for the baby while they’re in the womb.

That word, nature’s head start, is we provide an environment so that when the baby is birthed, they are safe in the environment and growing in the movement if that makes sense. If you’re in a very calm environment, if you’re in an abusive environment, if you’re in a joyful environment, if you’re in an urban environment, if you’re in a very brutal community, your system is already prepared to live exactly where it was designed. 

We can consciously create life and the importance of life in the womb. It’s not just when the baby’s born that it gets programmed. It starts at conception.

What’s the part of before you conceive and while you are pregnant? Does that mean that I have to be conscious all the way? What if life hits? What if there are traumas on the way?

For example, I lost my cat when I was pregnant, and I was grieving. You got all that sadness. 

It’s the idea of being, “Oh, I’m going to be like every woman that conceives and can get pregnant, wants to be the perfect mom and the most conscious.” Imagine what it is going to be like. Life is very mysterious, and things happen to us. I could never predict something like that happening.

For me having, for months, bronchitis while pregnant, sprain, and suffering. Then there is a cycle of guilt. I wish this didn’t happen. Then here comes the not orgasmic birth that I was planning, a somewhat traumatic one that I experienced and was unexpected. I think my son did experience a lot of not optimal emotions while I was pregnant and gave birth.

Bruce Lipton talks about the importance of having a high vibration, but life is not always rainbows and unicorns. Things happen. Looking back, I’m so guilty. I wish I could be like a saint and not suffer.

Then we wouldn’t even need to come to the planet. It goes back to why we are here: to learn, grow, and experience. How do we define something that feels bad versus something that feels good? There’s so much to the story.

Just imagine that science has come a long way in understanding the body. There’s still a long way from understanding the difference between what happens in the material parts of our body and the spiritually energetic parts. Before I go further, I want to start by prefacing and saying this is not about guilt. It’s not about feeling bad.

I would say most humans have pretty much a measure of trauma from the moment they were conceived all the way through their life. In fact, with Richard Rudd with the Gene Keys, we go through the golden pathways of this Venus sequence. It talks about the seven core wounds of humanity.

We all have very specific core wounds we are privileged to work through here. It’s not about whatever that perfection is. Perfection is the awareness and the presence that we have— sacred and intimate, child-conscious, and child-rearing. It’s about presence. It’s not about what happens. That’s how we navigate it.

Also, I feel like Bruce Lipton, as a man, doesn’t know what a pregnant woman goes through.

If your nervous system’s a wreck, that means you are getting away from the electromagnetics of the earth.

I think that’s a really good point. He’s strictly speaking from science, saying we have 50 trillion cells. The cells come together, and they make organ systems. He’s teaching us that it’s not a machine.

He’s teaching us that there are these trillions of cells that we can control over so that when we had a traumatic childhood or birth, we’re not stuck with that. We’re not stuck with our genetics. That’s no longer the issue anymore.

One cell has 30,000 different expressions that it can make. Bruce teaches us about how important the environment of the womb is to a growing baby. That environment, the cells in its genetics, don’t lock in until much later, like six months in. About three months before birth, things start to lock into genetic predispositions. It gets very interesting in the amount of control we have and asking the right questions.

It’s not about guilt. Every one of us is going to have karma. We all have seven core wounds, and that’s just normal. So the question is, how can we best navigate this? What do we do with the traumas that have happened?

I’ve birthed seven children. I look back at my seven pregnancies, and now I have adult children who are having children. I can see the story. I know what was going on when I was pregnant with my children. I also learned later how to navigate that and teach them different things.

I can see what happens in multi-generations now, having my first family, then my family, and now my grandchildren. We need to focus on a couple of things: loving ourselves and each other.

We are here in this lifetime to learn, grow, and experience.

Yeah, and I also believe that I mentioned the guilt. But I’m also aware that every soul has a purpose. They have to go through their journey. They chose us for a reason. They signed up for what will happen because they need to go through this.

Yes, we do whatever we can, and some things happen. What comforts me is the idea that we can turn on our genes and turn them off. If you look at the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza, his private research has shown that with awareness and connection to, I guess, the matrix, the field, we can turn on and turn off genes.

He had blind people come into his workshop and be able to see after a week of doing the work. So I think as parents, we do whatever we can, and then our children work to do their job, what they came here on the planet to do, and their soul correction.

Absolutely. As parents, we get to be genetic engineers. That’s a really exciting position. We’re architects. We can only create to the level that we understand. There’s no judgment. There’s no one to blame. We can’t blame our parents. We can’t blame their parents. It’s programs that are coming through.

We have an opportunity in our generation because there’s a lot more information out for us as conscious parents to be able to make the changes now as we’re raising our children, or if our children are raised, our job is to focus on shifting the genetic codes within ourselves. It shifts the genetic codes in our environment, whether our children are grown or still in our arms.

Some of the research Bruce did and some of the studies are fascinating. As a mother, this gives me a lot of reassurance that we have stem cells in our bodies. They’ve researched and found the baby’s male stem cells in a mother’s liver and her brain–different studies–of the child, right? We know that stem cells are shared. We can say that in our baby boys or girls, our stem cells are in them.

I can track my kids as children have gotten older, gone to different schools, activities, or married. I’m very sensitive, but mothers have an innate connection with their children because we grow them in our bodies. That transmission of blood that went through their body and our body is back and forth.

We can only create to the level that we understand.

As this is happening, not only does it share blood and nutrients, and we’re feeding the baby. We’re feeding in hormonal codes, programs, and the genetic keys. Our emotions matter, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad. It doesn’t mean I have just what is good and bad. It’s all good. We have core wounds that are access points to our deepest truth.

Whatever it was when we had bronchitis, when we were sick, I had a bad day, or we couldn’t control the traumas around us, we had deaths, divorces, and all these things that happen in our world, and wars. We have that, but we also can take that information.

I call them access points. They’re vortexes that lead us to our truths. We would be robots if we didn’t have resistance in our bodies, minds, and lives. Instead, we may be like an amoeba sitting on a tray doing nothing. We need to learn to move.

Some days, I feel like I want to be an amoeba.

Some days, we do, and that’s okay too. We want to open up. We’re either growing or not. Sometimes we need to pause and learn a little bit more. As far as pulling the conversation back to nature’s head start in the womb, it is important to do our best.

The more we awaken to what’s possible, these 30,000 different expressions that a cell can make, we can actually be genetic engineers with ourselves and our children. That should be a fun, exciting thing instead of a depressing one. It can be overwhelming, but we can’t manage our subconscious mind.

That’s what they teach us. We don’t know, but 95% of what we do is auto-response. How are we supposed to manage our every thought and belief? It doesn’t work that way. We have to bypass the subconscious and work with the architect of our genetics to do that so that the cells begin to express things that are more in flow and joyful and don’t bring resistance every time we turn around.

Whenever we focus on the wrong things, we shut down the universal creative power within us.

How do we give our kids a head start?

You find your joy and passion. You find why you’re here and your flow. When you work with you, your highest responsibility is to ask the right questions that help direct your life, and it’s the best tool. I have dozens upon dozens of tools I’ve learned, and I’m certified in over the years, but the one that has had the biggest impact in the shortest amount of time for me is human design and Gene Keys, primarily Gene Keys.

There’s a hologenetic profile that’s called the Golden Pathway. Much like the Kabbalah or tree of life, it walks you through a sequence like locks and keys or codes in a lock, where you’re just unlocking your codes one by one, opening them up until you get to the place of being able to open your hearts.

Give me a specific example of what you have unlocked for yourself and how it helps you in real life.

In real life, I’ll tell you that I’ve been married for 31-plus years. I do have a large family. There have been issues in my personal life that came in before I met my husband. They have been a large part of my daily processing throughout my entire life. I have all these techniques, all the subconscious awareness and rewriting, changing neurons, and all of the regression work.

I could go on and on and on about all the things that I’ve done to work with a very specific issue. Some of them might be body dysmorphia for me. I was bulimic and anorexic in high school. It was a real challenge for me to accept myself, affecting me my whole life. That would be one thing that came into my marriage.

We would be like robots if we didn’t have resistance in our bodies, minds, and lives.

The other was a trust issue because I had some very traumatizing things in my teens that caused me to lack innate trust. It’s not my husband’s fault. But from the moment we got married, there’s been these issues that keep popping up. I can tap on those things. I promise you guys, I’ve taken master classes in many of these techniques. I’m not talking about I’m a beginner. This is 30-plus years I’ve worked on these things.

Learning my design, where my energy is supposed to flow, and where it’s supposed to go has liberated me. I began to learn about the shadow patterns within the structure I was telling you about this tree of life, my unique DNA shadows, gifts, and essences. I started to unwind myself. My DNA began to unwind. The light shines through, and the expression changes.

Did you physically do that?

I do. I don’t know if everybody will. I don’t know if that’s necessary, but I can do it. I remember one time I was sitting in the bathtub. I could feel the light just pouring through. Have you ever had an experience where you feel the light flowing through you?


When you look at the DNA under a microscope, they can see it’s tightly coiled. But when DNA relaxes and is safe in an environment, it stretches and unwinds, much like we feel. That’s what you might feel happened. You might not feel the cells expanding, but you will feel the output is changing around you. All of a sudden, things that my husband and I have struggled with, I realized that when I took personal responsibility for my shadow patterns and something that I was doing, it affected everyone at home.

My husband began to trust me more because I opened myself to trust. I began to see my body very differently and accept myself differently. Do you know how many times I heard self-caring? Take care of yourself first, and it’s not selfish. All these things we hear, I get it. I knew it in my mind but couldn’t live it myself.

The gift we give our children is taking care of it from the inside out. It’s a unique journey for each of us, but we have a map. We now have plans and a guidance system that can teach us how to unwind and be deeply rooted and embodied in our genius.

What I love about conscious parenting is that once you learn that for yourself, imagine co-creating life with someone you love. You wanted a child, you go into the architect mode with God, and you co-create this life. You’re still working through your shadows the whole time you’re pregnant with this life. You have stuff going on, but you’re navigating it, recognizing it, breathing through. You laugh a little more. You don’t take life so seriously, and you start spending more time on your genius than your challenges.

A moment of active presence is like a pinpoint of light that shines on one point in your life. Your goal should be to have a whole room light with presence, eclipsing the small spots of shadows. Share on X

This child comes out, and you can have a map of your child. You get to see what your design is by the exact time of birth of your child and the time the child was born. Now, I can raise my child so that when they are cranky, tired, stubborn, and all those things, I can look at the gifts associated with those challenges they’re going through. I can see the light in this part of them that I might not have known.

How long ago did you find out about Gene Keys?

Gene Key, specifically, was last August.

What did you do before you had it? How do you handle all the tantrums and the moods? I know you have a lot of tools, but you could also share some of the other more instant tools. For example, a woman, let’s say she’s got a three-month or four-month-old, is not sleeping at night. Besides Gene Keys, what else can she do to give herself a mental break, soothe her subconscious mind, and be there for herself so she can be there for her child?

I’ve had these tools for 30-plus years. I found Gene Keys and deep delved into it in a very short time, almost a year now. For me, it was like a download. I knew it before I knew it because I’d been studying it for so long. I just needed to go and shift my perception.

Before I have the actual tool, to be so specific, the most important thing you can do is love. Love creates hormones. Forgiveness produces hormones, and so is letting go.

It’s so easy to say let go and forgive. But sometimes, it’s hard to forgive and let go. Honestly, my whole work the past year has been about letting go. Every week, I let go a little bit longer. Even my hip pain is about letting go, not being so reactive, and trusting life.

Let your innate intelligence move you and your energy.

If you look at Louise Hay’s work, lower back pain’s all about trust and trust in life. Trust was a keyword for me for the last three years and now surrender. Surrender and letting go. It’s hard because when you are so wired, especially in a couple of years, with everything that’s been with the first, I was afraid of this deadly virus that will kill us all, and then I was scared of all the people that engineered the virus. I was afraid of how divided people were.

I had my own experiences with that. That creates some trauma for me. It’s all being stored in my body. Unfortunately, all that happened in the first two years of my son. When his brain is in delta waves, and he’s so subconsciously open, I’m going through those experiences. I’m working on myself, but he’s getting affected, whether I wanted or not, even if I try to hide my emotion.

I had incredible beautiful moments throughout those two and a half years, but still there was a lot of pain. There was a lot of suffering. So how do you navigate that from absorbing all this in my body and saying, “Okay, let go, let God. Forgive. “

All the things that I teach and talk about, and I had 350, I think, or something interviews about those things. Looking at being alive, especially as a new mom, and experiencing those external situations triggers all your core wounds from the past, like my core wounds about belonging and rejection.

All those triggers, everything happened with the birth of my son, which was a great gift because now I’m working on it. I’m facing my shadows and embracing them. I bring it to my clients too. Everything that I teach is something I must learn or am still learning.

That’s the question on everybody’s mind. What do you do about it? That’s part of the journey; the growth is to be in the present moment. The magic is in the messy, but we want to push the messy away. Your son was born at this moment because his genetic predisposition prepared him for this. He was in your womb. He’s prepared. He can totally handle this.

We can’t teach our children to be perfect and live up to everybody’s expectations. However, we should teach them to be present and listen to and trust in themselves. Share on X

Totally. It’s my story; mine got complex, wanting to control everybody. I want everybody to be safe, the world to be predicted and safe. I just want safety. That is affecting this whole thing.

Yeah, and that’s where your core wounds are. His is may be completely different than yours, but we imprint our children with those things. It’s not about feeling guilty. That’s the way it is. He was designed to be able to manage that.

The more we learn as parents, the more we understand how to take care of our children emotionally and have emotionally safe places to talk to our children. You do a really beautiful job with that. You sit them down. You speak, and you let him express himself. In those moments where you’re upset, that’s part of life, too. He’s learning how to manage that or not manage that.

He’s going to have an opportunity to ultimately feel that if we can love our children, we provide a safe place for them. I also want to give you a practical step because we have many different angles of talking about conscious parenting, caring for ourselves, or feeling safe in our bodies.

One of the gifts you can do on a practical level is to create a very strong, deep health bandwidth. We have our physical health. I teach about the ten laws of health. We want to make sure that we utilize the knowledge we have. In every law of health, we have an increase in this bandwidth so that when things are outside our control, we’re not automatically down below our bandwidth like we’re going to get sick emotionally or physically.

We are always above the midline of that. Those are things like fresh air, sunshine, nutrition, elimination, hydration, exercise, sleep patterns, stress levels, movements and flow, mindset, service, and all of these areas, I don’t think I got all ten, but all of those areas are there to help us manage the way that we feel. I see what’s happened is that we don’t know how to eat anymore. We are fast food people.

I know how to eat. You just put stuff in your mouth and chew it.

The best gift we give ourselves is to be more like our children, go barefoot, get in the garden, and weed the front yard. Start doing things outside.

Right. We’re not nourishing our bodies anymore. When was the last time we laid under a tree, looked at the leaves growing, got into the rhythm with the earth, and let everything go like a leaf coming down in the fall and just slowly gliding? When do we do that?

What happens is children are barefoot, they’re dirty, running outside, and they’re playing with the animals. There’s a lot of joy, a lot of laughter, and a lot of curiosity. As they grow and depending on their childhood, they may not have access to their curiosity. They’re going to get shut down sometimes.

The best gift we give ourselves is to be more like our children, go barefoot, get in the garden, and weed the front yard. Start doing things outside. Take the time to put a towel down, lay out under a tree, and dream, even if it’s fifteen minutes a day.

Earthing is a study. It’s been around for a very light long time. You might hear a thing called grounding. If your nervous system’s a wreck, you are getting away from your electromagnetics of the earth. 

Even through your hip right now, Orion, laying on the earth or reading a book with your butt on the ground, just legs on the ground, and your son running around outside for thirty minutes a day, would do more for your pain level than anything else we could probably do. An hour would probably be good if it’s acute, but it’s those bandwidth things.

If I give someone an assessment, we will look at where we’re going to go and the top three areas of your life that you could make subtle changes in. Is it your nutrition? Do you need to drink more water? Could you move your body? Life is movement.

Traditional Chinese medicine teaches us Qigong or Tai Chi to move our body every joint every day. How often do we sit in front of our computers and phones where we’re stuck, then go to bed at the end of the day and wake up tired? Because we didn’t move our bodies.

That’s exactly what happened to me. I used to be super athletic. I would go to the gym five times a week, stretch, and move my body. Then, I stopped, and now this pain forces me to connect to my body. It’s forcing me to pay attention. It’s forcing me to appreciate my health. It is a great gift.

That’s the gift to give.

We don’t have to experience such incredible pain to get the lesson. Then, we can start moving our bodies.

That’s the whole point. It’s not that you have bad blood. It’s not that you have bad genes. It’s not that you got the bum end of the deal. It’s that we can change the expression of our DNA. If our parents didn’t have the tools, we’re not blaming them. We’re just making subtle shifts. We’re breaking long-term genetic patterns. We change it daily, and then the change happens to everyone around us. I promise you, that works.

I mentioned several times that I’m doing a lot of internal work. I work with two incredible coaches. I see the shifts in both my son and my husband as I shift. It’s not about them. It’s not about controlling them. It’s about letting go of me, trying to control any outcome, accepting and just being in love in a place of love toward myself, and being okay with what is.

No matter how evolved you’ve become, life is still going to happen.

Yeah. I don’t care how evolved you become. Life is still going to happen. It’s part of it. But, unfortunately, we focus on the wrong things. We create a picture of this ideal world that we want to live in, and it shuts down the universal creative power within us.

The more you know what you’re here to do–what is your life purpose and work? What are you here to shine? What brings you your greatest joys? What are your deepest pains that become your deepest healing becomes your day job? What are those types of things? The more you know who you are, the more you’ll see who you’re not in, where you’ve been conditioned to act outside your design.

That gives us the freedom to let the air breathe in between so that when a trauma happens, we have some space for wiggle room. Now something happens, and it doesn’t feel good. You can change your auto-response to a new program that says, “The magic is in the messy. I don’t know what’s happening at this crossroads of resistance, but I will stop for a minute and be present within.”

I’m not pushing away. I’m going to take a deep breath, and I’m going to become a black hole, and I’m just going to absorb it. I will let it come in and just let it move around it. We can alchemize anything. 

It’s just energy. Energy in and of itself doesn’t have a job. It’s like a stem cell. You gave it a job. You said, “Oh, this is pain.” Then you just come into this black hole, and you breathe. You let your innate intelligence move you. Move your energy.

We teach our children that. We don’t teach our children to avoid, to be perfect like everybody has an expectation. We teach them to be present, to listen to themselves, and to trust. I have trust issues that affected 31 years of a beautiful marriage that overly complicated it because I didn’t trust. I shut down my heart, and my husband’s like, “She’s all over the place.”

There have to be these phases, but trust is a big issue. We can teach our children to trust themselves, listen, and watch them. Then, with human design, I can look at their design and say, “Oh, this one’s a splenic decision maker, or this one’s coming from the heart or the emotion center.”

That’s helpful. But even if you don’t know that, watch your children. Do they talk with their body? Do they viscerally make decisions?

My little one, I guess because I sing and dance with him a lot, likes to make a lot of cute songs. Sometimes he’ll be like, an excavator with all these words that he knows. Sometimes he’ll make up words.

He’s already speaking two languages fluently, and then he makes his language. He’s so animated. He’s such a joy. It is so much fun. So when we look at a kid that is so animated, what does that show you about his decision-making?

On any given day, look for the number of moments of presence you have. Wherever there is joy, spark, and smile in your child, follow it.

It tells me where his joy is. Follow the joy, follow the smiles, follow the spark. What we’re looking for on any given day is the amount of moments of presence. How many times did I have moments of presence throughout the day?

Imagine you’re sitting in a dark room, and a moment of presence is like a pinpoint of light that shines at one point in your presence. So the goal would be to have a whole room light up with presence and then just little spots of darkness where we’re just in our autopilot mode.

For your child that’s animated, I don’t know, as far as what his strategy and authority are, according to Gene Keys, but kids innately have a curiosity and a joy. So if you follow it and teach them like, “Honey, this moment right now where you’re just alive, this is your magic, let’s create more of those magic moments, point it out and honor him. Celebrate it.”

I do that. I totally do that.

I know you do that. Does that take a load off of us as parents to say, if I can love and notice moments of presence, that the other things are just part of life? If 90% of the time we had moments of joy and presence, and then crappy stuff happened, we got a war going on and a COVID going on. They’re just blips along the way like, “Okay. I guess my body needs to slow down. I need to be more aware.” You start asking different questions, and then life kicks on, and you focus.

Wow. I can talk with you for hours. Thank God we have this series, where I can talk to you more and more and more and more and more. Before we wrap up for today, three top tips for living a stellar life or being a stellar parent that comes to mind right now.

The importance of being in the moment, presence, and honoring whatever’s happening. It doesn’t matter, regardless. Just be in that moment, breathe, and don’t be afraid. Love, contemplate it. What does love mean? Meditation, concentration, and contemplation, which means both of these.

Contemplate. What does love look like to me? What does love feel like to me? Start being aware of moments of love and presence, and then give yourself a stronger bandwidth.

Ask yourself, what are some of those key areas in my life that I would like to improve in? One degree can make water boil, even if it’s just a degree.

That’s good. I love it.

Those are my tips.

Good. Remind us, where can people find you?

You can find me on any social channels under Kristin Van Wey and kristinvanwey.com. You can find my nonprofit, which got me written with all kinds of wonderful things, at letsempower.org.

Cool. Let me see if I remember the three tips. First, be present. Meditate on love, be love. Expand your bandwidth. Just look at everything that you want to improve.

How can you improve the bandwidth to even a small degree? It could be like drinking one cup of water today, going outside, moving my body, going barefoot for a little while, or sitting and reading a book.

Yes. Everybody listening and watching, go drink some water now. I said now. Thank you so much, my friend. This was yet another enlightening, powerful conversation. I really love and appreciate you. Thank you so much for your time and for sharing your wisdom today.

Thank you, Orion. I love you so much. Thank you for all you do, your voice out in the world and helping people have such a stellar life.

Thank you. Thank you, listeners. I hope you took all the steps and take it to heart. If you find this information good and beneficial, please share it with other parents or friends. You can always subscribe to my YouTube channel and share the love. This is Orion, till next time.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓}Educate your child about their body’s functions. As a parent, consciously emphasize the importance of life from conception.

{✓}Establish a safe environment for your child — even before they’re born. Remember, their system is designed to thrive in a calm and joyful environment, rather than an abusive or hostile community.

{✓}Identify your core wounds and use them as access points to discover your truth. These wounds serve as powerful gateways to understand your true self and can lead you toward healing and transformation.

{✓}Cultivate self-love and love for others to gain a deeper understanding of your core wounds and navigate through them effectively. 

{✓}Engage in regular physical movement. Consider practicing the Daily Energy Routine, Naam Yoga, or other methods that allow your body to move freely and release negative energy.

{✓}Discover your joys and passions to provide your child with a headstart in life. It’s your highest responsibility to ask yourself the right questions to guide your life in the best possible direction.

{✓}Learn to identify where to positively direct your energy and recognize patterns in your shadow. As parents, the more we learn, the better equipped we are to emotionally support our children.

{✓}Introduce your child to earthing and encourage them to explore the world beyond the confines of your home to foster their curiosity.

{✓}Develop your robust and holistic health to best support your child’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual growth. Nourish your body and connect with nature.

{✓}Explore the resources available from Kristin Van Wey’s website to learn more about wellness and connect with others on a similar journey.

Links and Resources

About Kristin Van Wey

Kristin Van Wey is an internationally recognized leader, educator, speaker and trainer in innovative approaches to well-being. She helped thousands experience: insights, understanding and remarkable results. With over 30 years of professional experience in health, Kristin is one of the leading voices on the use of essential oils. Her humanitarian efforts have brought hope and empowerment to communities in crisis; she’s dedicated to partnering with others to serve communities globally. As a mother to seven children and a grandmother to five grandchildren, she certainly has the experience, mixing that with her vast training across various holistic modalities.

Disclaimer: The medical, fitness, psychological, mindset, lifestyle, and nutritional information provided on this website and through any materials, downloads, videos, webinars, podcasts, or emails are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical/fitness/nutritional advice, diagnoses, or treatment. Always seek the help of your physician, psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, certified trainer, or dietitian with any questions regarding starting any new programs or treatments or stopping any current programs or treatments. This website is for information purposes only, and the creators and editors, including Orion Talmay, accept no liability for any injury or illness arising out of the use of the material contained herein, and make no warranty, express or implied, with respect to the contents of this website and affiliated materials.

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