How to Achieve Your Goals Easily with John Assaraf

A Personal Note From Orion

When you tap into your subconscious mind, your inner truth sharpens. When you’re hyperaware of your inner truth, you can easily shift into natural, positive thought patterns. In today’s Stellar Life Podcast episode, I am joined by “The Brain Whisperer,” John Assaraf, as he highlights how to access empowering brain patterns to launch a successful life.

John Assaraf is the CEO of MyNeuroGym.com, one of the leading high-performance success coaches in the world, and a neuroscience researcher. John is dedicated to fostering an abundance mindset through “innercise.” Innercise can help you achieve positive thought and brain patterns to transform your life.

Switch off your Frankenstein’s brain and tune in!

In This Episode

[06:00] – John narrates his childhood experience and how it has influenced him today, prompting Orion to ask him his definition of the subconscious mind.
[10:44] – What are John’s favorite meditative practices?
[12:39] – While discussing plant medicine, John explains fear and his intuitive ability.
[17:05] – How does John connect to his intuition daily?
[21:58] – John talks about his brain patterns. He discusses the brain’s ability to create new patterns, which affects neuroplasticity.
[30:55] – Has John tried remote viewing?
[36:19] – Orion and John talk about hypnotherapy and epigenetics and how they influence people’s lives.
[44:30] – What is motivation? John explains how to manifest motivation and desire to change.
[49:40] – How do you break negative patterns?
[52:57] – Orion asks John how to increase someone’s self-esteem and confidence.
[56:33] – John’s top three stellar life tips.
[57:57] – Read John’s book, Inncercise, to learn more about brain patterns and innercising. Then, visit John’s website for free resources, and go deeper into neuroscience by visiting brainothon.com.

Jump to Links and Resources

About Today’s Show

Hello, John, and welcome to the Stellar Life podcast. What an honor to have you here.

Thank you. It’s so good to be here too.

I want to start with something that is a little bit personal. I want you to go into one of your best memories as a little boy and share that with me.

I was born in Tel Aviv, Israel. My mother and her sister used to take me, my brother, sister, and cousins to the beach almost every day. We used to play in the sand and the beach and have the sun, wind, ocean, and briny smell of the ocean on our faces, which I still love to this day.

I remember just being surrounded by I didn’t know whose family then but by other people who hugged me, kissed me, and played with me all the time. That’s one of my fondest memories of childhood.

That’s cool. How old were you?

Three, four, or five years old. I was born there. I lived there until I was 5 ½ and had a phenomenal upbringing. It got a little bit more challenging when I moved, but that’s another story.

How do you think that memory or experience shaped the person that you are today?

I think it’s shaping as much as I love to be outdoors. I live in San Diego now, and one of the reasons I live here is it reminds me of where I was born. It’s sunny here a lot. The beach is literally just down the street from where I am right now. It’s open. I don’t feel like I’m caged in. It was a great beginning, and I don’t plan on changing that in the near future.

Automatic thoughts, emotions and behaviors are based from the subconscious beneath our level of awareness, patterns and cues.

I think it made you a warmer person, too, because you seem very, very warm. You talk a lot about the reign and the power of your subconscious mind. I love that. One of the books that shaped my life—something that my mom gave me when I was a teenager—is The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. I love that book. I love your books, too, of course. What is your definition of the subconscious mind? How would you define it?

Subconscious is synonymous with nonconscious, or you’re not really aware of it. For example, there are nonconscious mechanisms that are breathing you, digesting your food, and pumping blood through your veins right now through your heart. You’re not really aware of it. It’s just there, so you’re not giving much thought to it.

We know that 97%–98% of our automatic thoughts—whether they’re positive, negative, empowering, or disempowering—emotions that are triggered automatically, and even the behaviors that we take that are pretty much habitual behaviors are based because of the subconscious beneath our level of awareness, patterns, triggers, and cues that just operate to conserve energy, keep us alive, move us away from danger, pain, or discomfort, and then gain as much pleasure as possible.

Most of that is happening behind or beneath our level of awareness, hence subconscious or nonconscious, which is very different from unconscious.

I had somebody ask me once. Where does the subconscious live in our brain?

A better question would be where is it not? It’s not like there is a location. It’s like where is air? It’s everywhere. Nobody’s ever seen air. We’ve only seen the effects of air.

We see the effects of our subconscious. Actually, through meditative practices, we could become aware of what we’re not aware of. That’s just a different state of consciousness. We can get there through mindfulness, meditation, and medicines. Plant medicines, for example, help us.

Have you done some?

I’ve done almost all of them.

Innercise by John Assaraf

Which one was your favorite?

I don’t know if I could say my favorite, but I can share that each one of them has opened up an awareness. I like to teach using examples.

Imagine you had a telescope, there’s a dark sky, and there’s no light. You look through the telescope, and you can see the moon for the first time better than you can with the naked eye. Then, you get a bigger telescope and you can actually see the craters that formulate on the moon. You can use a telescope to look further out into the cosmos. We can take the James Webb Telescope which cost $10 billion that allows us to look further into the cosmos.

Then, there are microscopes that allow us to look deeper into the nucleus of an atom. If you think about medicines, whether it’s Ayahuasca, DMT, Ketamine, Psilocybin, or MDMA, they act as microscopes or telescopes of conscious awareness. There are different ones that do different things and have different scales of awareness to them.

Do you ever fear that something bad will happen in engaging with plant medicine? Because there are some good shamans that know how to take you on a journey and some more commercial people that are there more for the money.

Of course. I’ve been very, very careful with who I’ve chosen to be present with the skills necessary. I’ve done them with my children. I’m anti-drugs, but I’m very into conscious exploration.

There’s always something that can go wrong, I agree. Something can go wrong when I get in the car and drive too, so I try to be as careful as possible with how I drive and then be aware of what other drivers are doing.

I have been in ceremonies where people had extremely challenging journeys that they, almost in every case, said was the most amazing thing they’ve ever done. When we’re on these journeys, we can be shown things from different dimensions of intelligence.

There are some people who can hear better than others. Some people can see better than others. Some people can intuit better than others. Some of what happens with different medicines is it expands your internal and, in some cases, external senses so that you have access to deeper levels of what’s already here.

Fear is subjective. What may scare me may not scare you, and what scares you may not scare the next person.

Does it scare me? No. Have I had scary experiences? Yeah. Am I willing to learn how to be afraid, get through that, and conquer the fear? Yeah.

That’s what you teach; how to conquer.

Fear is subjective. What may scare me may not scare you, and what scares you may not scare the next person. I think it’s not for everybody.

If anybody wants to explore their own consciousness, then I highly recommend getting a very, very trained individual in a very safe environment so that if something does go wrong, you know you have the best care.

Do you feel like you have psychic abilities? Did those psychic abilities improve after your journeys and connect with the source?

I’ve always felt like I have a very, very evolved intuitive ability. I’m not going to say that it’s improved, but I understand it more as a result of the journeys that if it’s true, which I believe that everything is made up of energy, the desk that I’m just banging on is made up of energy, my ring seems to be solid, and my hand seems to be solid, but it’s really vibrating packets of hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon that have coalesced into this thing called a body. My body’s in a solid state.

If you think about a piece of ice, it’s in a solid state, but it’s still made up of hydrogen and oxygen that are vibrating at slower states. If we added heat to the ice, it would vibrate in a liquid state. If we added heat to the liquid, we would create steam at 212 degrees and use that same energy to move locomotion versus having hot water to drink on the train. We can move the train.

Having awareness can make you learn to be more intuitive.

When I start to have this awareness that I have these physical senses—whether it’s hearing, see, smell, taste, and touch—but I have other than physical senses like intuition, I can learn how to be more intuitive and tune in to things that are already here.

What is one thing or ritual that helps you connect to your intuition on a daily basis?

First and foremost, gratitude. I start off every day when I wake up just remembering I woke up. Some people didn’t wake up this morning. I’m blessed to have great health, a wonderful wife, beautiful children, and friends. I get to contribute my life again today, so I start off with being in a state of gratitude. Then from there, I do my meditation to connect not just to being awake but to connect to the source of all supply.

There is this illusion that there’s an out there and an in here but think about this. If you’re a fish, you’re in the water, you’re in a tank, and the tank is in a room. It just keeps going to layers and layers and layers.

The first thing that I want to do is just remember that I am in the quantum field, and the quantum field is in me. Let me play from that place today. Let me use my other than physical senses of hearing, seeing, smell, taste, and touch. Let me use my electromagnetic switching station called my brain. Let me use my intuition to tap into the frequency of that which I want to trade my life for.

Do you do your meditation with music or just sit quietly? How do you practice sitting quietly in a world full of so many stimulations and distractions?

Sometimes to certain sounds, whether it’s rain, the ocean, or birds. Sometimes, I have different brainwave frequencies that I will tune into, like a gamma frequency which is cosmic brainwave frequencies and cosmic frequencies. Sometimes, I will sit in quiet meditation with no thinking. Sometimes, I will sit there and focus on my breath. Sometimes, I will listen to chanting.

Every day when I wake up, I tune in to what feels right, and I do more of what feels right and what feels good.

Every day when I wake up, I tune in to what feels right, and I do more of what feels right and what feels good. I want to be in that vibration. I want to be at that source of love and Omni possibilities. I want to be at that source where I’m receptive. I’m transmitting, and I just do that deliberately.

Do you take any brain supplements?

I don’t take any brain supplements. I take my Omega-3s.I have my mineral and vitamin routine and supplements that I take, and I rotate those, so I don’t take them all the time. I take a variety.

I eat extremely healthily and drink a lot of water. I put 99% of really good stuff into the system. I try to take as good care of this vehicle as I can. I sleep seven hours a night, and I exercise almost every single day.

Over the years, I’ve developed a lot of patterns or habits that empower and inspire me versus patterns that maybe are not as positive. I used to have a bunch of those too.

Our habitual patterns are what drive our lives, so I’ve learned how to release or let go of the disempowering, destructive patterns and create empowering, constructive, and positive patterns in my life.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a lot more humble with what I don’t know versus feeling like I know a lot.

Do you feel like you got rid of all your negative patterns? Where are you now after doing so much self-work, so many rituals and meditations and teaching that to millions and millions of people? What’s next for you as far as breaking patterns or breaking limiting beliefs?

On the pattern front, I think maybe a little bit differently than some people. I consistently have a beginner’s mind, and I’m hyper-curious. I always believe that there are ways to have more, be more, give more, and learn more. I’ve got some fairly awesome patterns, techniques, and tools.

I’ve let go of drinking too much alcohol. I’ve let go of eating foods I shouldn’t eat. I’ve let go of sugar. I’ve let go of a lot of disempowering behaviors that I had when I was younger.

I’ve also realized that the more I know, the more I don’t know, so I consistently practice the things that I want to get better at. There’s always another layer, tool, technique, perspective, way of seeing something, and way of being. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a lot more humble with what I don’t know versus feeling like I know a lot.

Honestly, sometimes when I interview people of your caliber, it doesn’t feel the same. It feels like they feel like they know everything, so it’s very refreshing that you’re coming from this super sweet and humble place with everything that you are. That is what makes you so relatable and lovely. Talking about gratitude, I’m very grateful for that. Is there any new research that blows your mind when it comes to neuroplasticity or anything about the subconscious mind?

What I’m really fascinated with right now—not in neuroplasticity, but it affects neuroplasticity—is the brain’s ability to create new patterns. Not really the subconscious mind, but it is part of the subconscious mind. It’s the networks that we have in our brains and the circuits that turn on or off in billionths of a second.

If you think about this for just a moment to get this feeling of how powerful we are in a humble way, not in an egotistical way, the human brain has been evolving for billions of years. Humans have walked on Earth in one form, species, or another, from Homo erectus to Homo sapiens, et cetera. You think about it. If you removed my face, glasses, hair, and skin and opened up my skull, basically, you’re talking to that organism.

There’s light coming in through your eyes. That light is creating an electrical storm in your brain that’s releasing cells of recognition. If you know who I am and the name John pops up, all of the associations that you have around me are happening in your brain. It’s like, wow.

Let’s say, right now somebody is watching us or listening to us. In the corner of their eye in the room or wherever they’re at, a 10-foot python started crawling into the room. This corner of our eye might pick up that snake. Depending on what you have learned to believe about snakes, it would send a signal to either get up and run or to take the camera and go, hey, you got to look at this. There’s a snake coming into my room. Let me take a selfie with it.

If we can separate ourselves from negative thoughts, we can replace them with ideas and patterns that motivate us. Click To Tweet

If you think about gears in the brain processing 400 billion bits of information—light, sound, and tactile information—per second, and it’s letting you know whether you want to move towards or move away from it or whether you should be afraid of it or just take a picture with it, you start to realize that these circuits that are turning off our motivation, fear, doubt, anxiety, stress, being embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, or judged are all happening in billionths of a second. You go, wow, our Creator created me, you, and everything.

I’ve been fascinated with the different networks, whether it’s the executive functioning network that can allow me to make decisions, the imagination network, what to pay attention to, or the salience network. Is it possible that in learning about these networks and the circuits that turn on or off in those, I can actually learn how to use my brain better?

If it’s true that the human brain is worth at least $1 billion, that means that if you, me, and everybody else who’s alive—since we know that every brain functionally works the same—become better at using our brain and spend as much time on how we use our brains as we learned how to drive a car, we can achieve the health, relationship, career, love, and income that we wanted. We can achieve more, faster, and easier than ever before.

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy

That’s fascinating to me right now to learn about what causes us to do what we do and what causes us to know what we should do but not do it even though we want to.

To really understand yourself better has never been easier than right now in the history of our species, where 108 billion or so humans have walked on planet Earth before us. That’s what’s blowing me away right now. We are in a state of mind of amnesia around how spectacular each human being is. To understand the complexity of what I am and that I can actually have more control over the processes is so, so exciting for me.

Sometimes, you gain way more control by losing control. It’s a fine line between trying to control and then having the connection that helps you. I don’t know if control is a word but maybe manifest your reality.

Talking about control, I was going back to some of the medicines that I’ve done. You can’t control what the medicines will do. The more you try, the more you realize that the success is in the release. It’s not in control. When you realize that, that’s when you have ultimate freedom.

Have you ever tried remote viewing or healing someone with the power of your mind?

Uh-huh.

Tell me more.

I’ve not done remote viewing where I’ve healed somebody with the power of my mind, but many years ago, something happened to me around my vision board. Having a house that I had on the vision board that I ended up buying and moving into that made it into the movie, The Secret, I was wondering how was it possible to cut a picture from a magazine, look at it, and then years later move into it?

I didn’t even know where the house was or how much it was, so I started doing a bunch of research. I hired a guy by the name of Jack Houck. He was an expert in remote viewing. He introduced me to Ingo Swann, one of the leaders in the world of remote viewing that worked with the FBI or a special agency of the government years earlier.

Jack Houck did an experiment for a few friends where he brought five couples to my house and me. I paid them $1000 to do this experiment called “remote viewing with me.” He basically brought 100 envelopes to our house. Inside the envelope was one picture that was wrapped in a piece of paper. The paper that was wrapped in had the exact description of what the picture was.

For example, let’s say there was a picture of a brain with a gratitude rock and a butterfly on top of it. That was written on the piece of paper, and the envelope was closed. Our job was to pick an envelope out of 100 of them, put it on our chest, connect it with the picture in the envelope, and then write it down on a piece of paper. We never saw what was in the envelope.

My partner for this exercise was a friend of mine, Greg Rex. I put the envelope on my chest. What I was supposed to do was pretend that I was 100 feet above the ground. I was breathing, meditating, and gently floating down like I was on a cloud that was going down to earth.

The lack of motivation is an effect of fear and can create negative behavior. Click To Tweet

As soon as I felt I knew what was in the envelope in the picture, I had to write it down on a sheet of paper. I wrote down, and I see this tower like the CN Tower in Toronto. I see this river. I see a barge on this river, and there are people on this barge. That’s what I saw, and I was done.

When we opened up the envelope, took the paper away, and took the picture, there was almost an identical picture that I said, wrote down, and drew. It was almost identical. It was the tower somewhere in, I think, Minnesota or Texas. There were people on the barge. I’ve never seen the envelope before. I’ve never seen the picture before.

Yes, I’ve experienced remote viewing. I’ve had so many things happen in my life around my intuition where I knew something was that or to do that. We all have that ability.

The question is, did you see the photo, or did you manifest the photo into existence?

I don’t know. All I know is the experience is exactly as I just said it. There’s not one bit of embellishment in what I just expressed and shared. It happened to another one of our guests. There were 10 of us. Three or four of them were like, eh, and then a few of them were nowhere close.

If you think about energy, there are some people who hear better than others, do math better than others, have a better sense of smell, and are able to put musical notes together. Why not also have other than those types of innate abilities or skills when you have billions of years of evolution of this human electromagnetic switching station called a brain?

We’ve only been doing science for a few 100 years, and we’re just scratching the surface of what we’re learning.

We have this misunderstanding because we see a person in front of us, and I think we forget what that is in between our ears. Think about it. We’ve only been doing science for a few 100 years, and we’re just scratching the surface of what we’re learning.

Am I fascinated with the subconscious? Yeah, but even beyond the subconscious, I’m fascinated with the interaction of me, my brain, all energy fields and forms near and far, and the physical and quantum physical side of it. Specifically, I’m fascinated with what I call the neuromechanics of how this thing does what it does.

That is very, very fascinating. I do hypnotherapy. I love how people shift when they are in that realm of the subconscious mind and truth comes out and how it is possible to influence them and make their life better. I love it. I do it with my son. I have a three-year-old.

I always have this little Frankenstein’s monster up here. The part of our brain is like, what if I get hurt? What if I lose? What if I fail? There’s that part of our brain that’s always there. If we can set that aside, we can allow ourselves to let go of what may be holding us back, challenge why it’s there, releases it, put something new in there, and then embed, as you know, a new idea, command, identity, belief, and pattern in the area that is responsible for most of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. What else can I be, do, have, give, and achieve?

This is where people like you and me help people set aside and remove the limitations or obstacles so that we can unveil a much more powerful version of you.

I love the movie, The Matrix. It seems like you’re talking about quantum fields and how we live in this almost virtual reality that is malleable where you can shift to reality. How come it is that some people are following the herd? They’re not free thinkers. Some people are into the things that you’re interested in and are able to completely shift their reality, just be trailblazers, and do it their way.

As I mentioned, there are 108 billion humans that have walked on planet earth. Every one of us comes from a lineage of early humans, and then just by the very nature of how our genetics work, we have genetic predispositions for certain things. It doesn’t mean that we are bound to those genetic predispositions, but we have genetic predispositions for certain illnesses, propensities, character traits, and personality traits, and then we are born in the environment that usually activates and fosters those genetics.

Some people are born into what Carol Dweck said is a closed, limited environment where things are fixed. Up to 20 years ago, scientists thought that we were born with a fixed mindset. You’re just like your mother. You’re just like your father. Your grandfather and grandmother had those traits.

That was part of genetics thinking, but we now know that there’s something called epigenetics and that we can learn to think in ways and feel in ways that override a genetic predisposition.

It activates and deactivates certain genes in our body.

We can learn to think and feel in ways that override a genetic predisposition.

That’s right. The reason why people are the way they are is one part of the question, but the other question that I think we should ask ourselves is, is anyone who is willing to challenge their beliefs able to change? Is anyone who is willing to learn a new way of thinking, being, or believing capable of doing that? Is anyone who’s willing and committed to the changeable to be more open-minded? Of course, the answer is yes. We can practice our way to being different.

The question is, you can have two brothers that are raised in the same household, one is mega-successful, and one is the very opposite. They have the same environment. What makes one have this will to change and be a free thinker, and the other one be a victim of their circumstances?

We make this assumption that just because somebody is an identical biological twin or was born into this family, their experience is the same. Let’s say you have one parent that’s positive and one parent that’s hyper-negative and depressed. You could become exactly like or exactly opposite those parents.

This is where free will comes in. When we’re young, 3–5 years old, and in the modeling years, imprinting years, and experiential years, we’re not really thinking. We are basically being told what to think. We’re being told the meanings of things. That’s good, that’s bad. She is right; he is wrong. This can happen fast; this can happen slowly. Don’t you know people are this or people are that?

We’re just sponges of learning. Depending on the meaning that we learned to give things, the environment that we were in, and the emotional management or control we had or didn’t have, we became conditioned to see ourselves and see the world in a certain way. That, coupled with some genetic predispositions and personality traits, is going to be part of the mix of how somebody behaves and what somebody achieves.

Subconsciousness is synonymous with nonconsciousness. You’re not aware of it. It’s just there, and you’re not giving much thought to it.

Every possible combination exists out there. You have identical twins that are both successful, you have identical twins that are both alcoholics, and you have identical twins that one is successful and one is not. Every permeation exists, but regardless of the permeations that exist, the question becomes, is it possible for almost anyone to change?

Now, we get into the science of neuroplasticity. We get into the science of the subconscious mind. The answer is anybody who is committed to change and is willing to do the work can change and achieve results that are easier, better, and greater than their current results.

Some people know that, and yet it’s hard for them to change, find the motivation, or find the desire. How do you manifest desire? How do you manifest motivation and desire to change?

First, let’s understand what motivation is. There’s intrinsic motivation that there’s something within you that is calling you towards it. Extrinsic motivation is something external, doing it for a girlfriend, a husband, a father, a mother, or a teacher.

When somebody doesn’t have motivation, they just don’t have a big enough reason why they must.

It’s really intrinsic motivation that sustains the goals, but if we think about motivation and break that down into the motive for the action, a lot of times, when somebody doesn’t have motivation, they just don’t have a big enough reason why they must. If they don’t have a big enough reason why they must, whether it’s a fear of missing out, being intimate, or wanting to have sex, they’re not going to have motivation.

Does the question become what would have to happen in order for that person to gain motivation? Let’s put a condition on this. Let’s assume that they’re not depressed and not hormonally imbalanced. Let’s assume a normal person. Sometimes, people are not motivated because they’re so afraid. They’re afraid of failing, being embarrassed, trying, being disappointed, being rejected, succeeding, and then failing. Fear may be preventing them from taking action.

Some people just don’t see the benefit of doing what is needed because they haven’t created a picture in their minds that excites them. There isn’t a reward in the pursuit, and there’s no reward in the attainment, so there’s a lack of the reward neurochemical dopamine, which is connected to the behavioral cortex in the brain.

You don’t want to do the thing because there’s no motive for the action. It could be that there is fear there or uncertainty, and that causes a lack of motivation. It could also be that there’s a lack of being able to see the joy and the benefit of the pursuit and achievement of something.

I like to look at both. The lack of motivation is an effect, and the lack of motivation creates a behavior. Then, if we participate in the behavior long enough, that becomes a new subconscious pattern and expectation. Now, I’m caught in a habitual pattern of being unmotivated because I’ve made that a pattern and a habit.

Anybody committed to the hard work of change can achieve easier and better results than their current circumstances. Click To Tweet

How do you break the pattern?

You break the pattern by first realizing that I no longer want this. I refuse to let my life wither away, feeling like a failure, not feeling good enough, not having more, not being able to give more, and not be more. We have to create a reason for staying unmotivated. We have to create more pain and discomfort in being unmotivated than we do in being motivated.

When we’re dealing with human beings, many people prefer to master disappointment versus master change. At least in mastering disappointment, I gained something. At least in mastering disappointment, I’ve mastered something. In mastering disappointment in some cases and in not being motivated, I’m actually being rewarded because I’m safe.

First and foremost, do you want to stay like this? Yes-no binary. If the answer’s no, then let’s just do a little bit to get off stuck, or let’s do a little bit to interrupt the pattern. Not a lot, just a little bit.

I think I have a social media addiction that has formed in the last few months. I’m like, how do I stop this? It’s so intriguing. All those little videos and posts, it’s taking away my time. It’s taking away my focus. All this flipping between things, I’m sure, is horrible for the brain. I’m sure they made it very, very addictive. What can I do to break that pattern, for example?

Awareness is what can give you a choice.

The first thing is to be aware of it, which is great. Awareness is what can give you a choice. We’re all rewarded when we check social media. We scroll, swipe left, swipe right, and click and click, and we get the immediate gratification of the dopamine release and the anticipation of that next video or story.

It’s like neurofeedback.

It is exactly that. We’re getting these hits of dopamine in the search because we’ve activated the curiosity part of our brain. We anticipate that we’re going to find something to watch or something that’s interesting, so we’re releasing the dopamine in the search. We actually don’t find something and don’t like this, so we’re let down, and then we go searching again. It’s so exciting. A little bit is fine, like wine, but too much is detrimental to our health.

How do we do it? Start interrupting the pattern. How do you stop interrupting the pattern? The very next time that you want to go look at your social media, count to five before you do. You grab yourself like, oh, here I am doing it again. Let me count to five. One, breathe in, breathe out. Two, breathe in, breathe out. Three, breathe in, breathe out. Four and five, breathe in, breathe out.

That pause will give you a chance to evaluate. Do I really want to do this, or do I want to get rid of this pattern? All we want to do is interrupt the pattern long enough for the pattern to then be interrupted if we do that one time, great. If we do it ten times, much better. If we do it 100 times, we interrupt the pattern. Then, we can be deliberate in asking, do I really want to reinforce this pattern? Yes or no?

The other thing to pay attention to is when you are most likely not to have self-control. The answer is you’ll have the most self-control early in the morning when you wake up. The least is at 3 PM to 10 PM at night because your attention units are down, your willpower muscle is low, you’re not using your thinking brain, and your emotional brain is taking over, and you’re going to do things that you think are much more pleasurable.

When we’re on extremely challenging journeys, things from different dimensions of intelligence show. Some people can hear, see, and can intuit better than others

The worst thing about it is when you say morning, you have more willpower, and at night less; at night, you’re so tired. You’re almost in a trance state, so everything that you watch also goes into your subconscious mind without you even noticing.

That’s right. We reinforce patterns—whether they’re constructive or destructive—much easier and much faster when our willpower muscle is low because we’re not being deliberate.

How do you increase self-esteem and confidence?

If I were to ask you what would be one behavior that, if you did a little bit of each day, would increase your self-confidence, what would that one behavior be?

Going to the gym.

Great. How committed are you on a scale of 1–10 to get the benefits of going to the gym?

Three.

You don’t have enough motivation to do it.

Yeah. It goes back to motivation.

We reinforce patterns—whether constructive or destructive—much easier and much faster when our willpower muscle is low because we're not deliberate in our thinking. Click To Tweet

Let’s not go there. You’re going to decrease your self-esteem by setting that as a goal and not following up because you’ll lose trust in yourself even more.

One thing I used to do and stopped because of life is meditating every morning. When I meditate, connect, and harness energy, power, and Kundalini, I feel more confident.

If you did that every day for 3–5 minutes, would you feel better?

Absolutely.

If you committed to doing it and followed through no matter what, would you lift up your self-confidence?

Absolutely.

Can you commit to doing that right now for the next seven days, no matter what? Three minutes minimum, but five minutes would be even better.

Yes, sir. I will.

Teach yourself that you can trust yourself and trust what you tell yourself.

Great. For seven days, start on that pattern. Then, if you catch yourself saying, I’ll do it later, catch yourself and say no, I’m going to do it right now so that I teach myself to have more self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth than I deserve. And I’m going to do it now. You’re going to teach yourself that you can trust yourself and trust what you tell yourself.

The other thing I want you to start doing, as well as I want you to see yourself doing it every day for the next seven days, is in your mind. I want you to close your eyes for just a moment or keep your mind open right now. Just imagine that you have just awakened, and it’s tomorrow.

You are going to remember what you and I just did right now because it’s going to be natural and easy for you to do that. The first thing you’re going to do as soon as you wake up is you’re going to do your three minutes of meditation through some heavy breathing and be able to connect with your higher self. That’ll happen easily for you tomorrow and every day for the next seven days. See yourself doing that.

I love it. I know our time is very limited. I just want to share with you that I really am grateful for your teaching about vision boards because I’ve done a few of them. I got the guy, and I even manifested having my son because the doctor gave me a 1% chance to conceive. I had a whole vision board just for that, so thank you for that.

Before we leave, what are your three top things to living a stellar life, and where can people find you?

Number one is really getting clear about what a stellar life means to me and getting very, very clear about my spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health. What does it mean to me as far as the experiences that I have? What does it mean to the person that I want to be? What it means to me is the most important thing first, so define it. I’d like to define it as health, wealth, relationships, career, business, spirituality, finances, fun and experiences, and contribution. Those are the areas of my life that I focus on.

Then, I ask myself, what do I need to let go of to make that stellar life more real right now? What do I need to start right now? In addition to that, I say, what can I start doing right now if I’m committed to that stellar life? Then, I do it. Let’s just get on the path. I don’t care if it takes me a day, a week, a month, a year, ten years, or 100 years. I want to get on the path toward that and then tweak and adjust along the way.

Wonderful, John. Thank you so much. Where can people find you? I know you have a new book that is an Amazon bestseller or a New York Times bestseller. All your books are bestsellers.

My newest book is right there. It’s called Innercise: The New Science to Unlock Your Brain’s Hidden Power. It was number one on Amazon. My other books as well are New York Times bestsellers.

They can go to johnassaraf.com. They can see a lot of videos and articles that are free there. They can go to my YouTube channel. I’m also on Instagram and Facebook.

Then, if anybody wants to go deeper into the neuroscience of earning more money and having a great life, go to brainothon.com. We have some free training with me and some other brain experts that people can sign up for. It got some great training on your brain so you can change your income, life, and brain and have the most magical, exceptional life.

Thank you so much, Mr. John Assaraf. I really appreciate your time. Thank you for being here.

Thank you, Orion.

Thank you, listeners. Remember to think about what is a stellar life and what it means for you, get clarity about that, and then start taking action. Follow your dreams and have a stellar life. This is Orion; until next time.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓}Practice meditation to create a better connection with your subconscious mind. A simple 3 to 5-minute session in the beginning can help bring wonders into one’s life.

{✓}Start your day with gratitude in your heart. One way to practice is listing down what you’re thankful for in a journal.

{✓}Commit to a lifestyle that nourishes your brain more. Engage in mentally stimulating activities, take vitamins and minerals, sleep seven to eight hours a night, exercise at least three times a week, drink at least three liters of water daily, and practice mindful eating.

{✓}Trust the process and focus on your goal. It’s going to take a lot of work. Be patient with yourself as you create new patterns to better yourself.

{✓}Learn to let go of disempowering beliefs as soon as they enter your mind. At the same time, let go of your ego and be open to learning more. Have the grace to denounce previous knowledge that no longer applies anymore.

{✓}Visualize your stellar life. Define your goals and don’t hesitate to manifest what excites you the most. Making a vision board or writing them down and infusing them with passion are good ways to attract success.

{✓}Find self development experts you resonate with. Whenever undergoing treatments, it’s best to do it with a professional so you know you’re safe throughout the entire procedure.

{✓}Don’t let fear hold you back. Never let fear turn off your motivation but see the joy and the benefit of every pursuit instead.

{✓}Visit John Assaraf’s website to learn more about meditation, innercising, and neurotechnology. Access free brain training at Brain O’Thon with John and other brain experts.

About John Assaraf

John Assaraf is one of the leading high performance coaches in the world. He is a behavioral neuroscience researcher who has appeared numerous times on Larry King live, Anderson Cooper and The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

He grew Re/Max of Indiana from startup to 85 offices and 1200 sales associates who sold over $4 Billion a year.
John was also one of the founders of Bamboo.com that went public on NASDAQ with a market cap of $2.5 Billion.

John has written 4 books including 2 New York Times best sellers that have been translated to 35 languages. He is the creator of the “Innercise” movement and has been featured in 11 movies, including the blockbuster hit “The Secret” and “Quest For Success” with Richard Branson and the Dalai Lama.

He lives in San Diego with his wife and 2 sons. In addition to being a vegan, meditator, avid skier, and ocean lover, he loves traveling the world and making some of the tastiest hot sauces using some of the hottest peppers on the planet.

Today, he is CEO of MyNeuroGym.com, a neuroscience based company, dedicated to helping individuals strengthen their mindset, so they achieve their goals and dreams faster and easier than ever before.