Episode 315 | April 25, 2023

When Life Gives You Lemons: How to Deal with Life’s Challenges with Orion Talmay

A Personal Note From Orion

Welcome! In this month’s solo episode of Stellar Life, I explore the age-old question — what do you do when life gives you lemons?

Life’s challenges are inevitable and it’s how we deal with them that counts. This episode explores different perspectives on how to overcome obstacles and find the silver lining in every situation.

Join me for insights on how to turn adversity into an opportunity for growth and personal development. I share practical tips and personal anecdotes that will leave you feeling empowered and inspired to face challenges with strength. So grab your lemonade, and join me on this journey!



In This Episode

  • [00:50] – Orion talks about overcoming challenges in life. She shares an experience of learning to listen to your intuition.
  • [03:58] – How do we deal with loss and process our emotions after unexpected events?
  • [08:01] – Orion shares how she and her husband, Stephan, reflect on losing some of their possessions.
  • [12:18] – Orion describes the cultural differences between Halloween and the Jewish holiday of Purim.
  • [14:00] – Orion discusses balancing give and take in relationships.
  • [20:25] – How does Orion find solutions to problems?
  • [22:38] – Orion gives advice on how to overcome difficulties.

Jump to Links and Resources

About Today’s Show

I love Hollywood movies where something happens, the hero goes through a lot of struggles, then they win on the other side, and then they live happily ever after, or there is a sequel. Usually, life is solved within an hour and a half to two hours, but life is not like that. Life is full of challenges.

For example, my gardener stole my watermelon. Yes, my gardener, the one that came and did the lawn here, actually stole my watermelon. Every time he came here, I said, “Hey, just don’t harm the watermelon bushes. I care about them.” I had watermelons before, and I harvested them prematurely because I didn’t know. As a gardener, you are willing to fail a few times until you get it right.

Finally, I am growing only two watermelons that are beautiful, big, and probably going to be sweet and delicious. That morning, the gardeners were coming in. Something in me was like, “Ah, I think they’re planning on taking my watermelon.” It’s so weird that I had that thought, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t listen to my intuition. 

When you are connected to a source and believe that the universe is conspiring for you, you’ll find everything works out for the best. Click To Tweet

We are at this sound and musical activity for kids. I went with my husband and my little one. He has a tendency to be on the phone a lot, which he’s trying to heal. I’m like, “Oh, stop being on your phone.” He’s like, “Well, I’m on the camera of the house. Do you want to see something?” Of course, I said yes.

He shows me the gardener going to the watermelon, looking around, tapping on it, checking it out, and going away. The next video he’s walking with it to his truck. I was so pissed off. The watermelon that I grew from a seed, he’s taking it. How rude? That’s real theft, seriously.

I wasn’t able to focus on their musical activity. I was pissed off at my husband for showing me that during the activity. Eventually, we got home. Yes, it was gone. Thank God they were kind, and they left me one.

Challenges are a part of life’s unpredictable journey.

I called them. Finally, they brought it back, but it’s not on the vine anymore, so it can’t grow more. We’ll probably open it later and see what it tastes like. Things like that happen.

Challenges happen in your life out of the blue. Somebody takes something from you. Somebody does something that hurts your feelings. It’s not about not feeling your feelings. You can’t just push it away and change your state.

It’s okay to grieve. It didn’t take me a long time, and it took me about two hours to calm down. Whatever, it’s just a watermelon. It’s okay to feel your emotions when stuff like that happens.

It’s nice to have smart people in your life that can put you back on the right path.

Later that day, something even more grandiose and more awful happened. We were traveling, so we went to our storage unit to get one of the empty suitcases. We have two storage units. We came to the first one and then just took what we need. My husband is like, “Hey, do you want to go check out the other one? Because you need to know where it is.” I’m like, “Yeah, I know where it is, just the number down there.” “No, let’s go check it out.”

We go check it out, we opened it, and he gave me this weird look, and he said, “There was more stuff here. I’m sure this was packed to the rim.” Somebody robbed our unit. Somebody took expensive TVs, stationary bikes, and expensive furniture. What’s harder is that they took some mementos. They took stuff. We don’t even know what was stolen from us.

It was quite depressing. Even on the right there and on the right back, it was a perfect movie scenario, where it was super rainy, thunder, lightning, gray, we’re driving in the rain, and the rain just reflects our inner tears being so sad about our stuff that was lost.

Even when going through a hard time, remember there is always good in everything. We just have to look for that good. Click To Tweet

When we came back home, my husband was so on edge. It’s odd, but there was someting in me that was relieved that I didn’t have to open a whole storage unit and look over boxes. I am not as attached to stuff as he is.

He had to go through it. He’s grieving but he’s done so much work on himself. I was so impressed. It didn’t take him that long. Within a day and a half, he was back. Of course, he got some help and guidance from his coach. I spoke to my coach too about it briefly. It’s really good to have smart people in your life that can put you back on the path.

I believe God knows what’s best for me.

He realized that he didn’t need to be so attached to things. From a spiritual Kabbalistic perspective, sometimes, when you lose physical things, it’s almost like a sacrifice. It’s like your angels are talking to God, and saying, “Hey, we don’t want him or her to get hurt, so let’s take away some physical material.” 

Sometimes if you are like me, where you believe God knows what’s best for you, maybe there are things I shouldn’t have held on to or shouldn’t even be in my life. Maybe we need something new. It was also a big lesson for my husband because heis the type of person that will leave a wallet on the table when service people come. He doesn’t guard his property. 

I remember he used to tell me that I’m silly for thinking that people can—he didn’t say it, but he said it without saying it—that I worry too much when I tell him to put his wallet aside or take care of his things because humans are humans. Even my gardener, I don’t think he’s a bad person. I just think he wanted that watermelon. In retrospect, I would get him a watermelon, but not the one I grew from seed.

We get sad and upset, and that’s fine. But if we don’t get the lesson at that moment, we’ll get it somewhere else.

Sometimes we do get attached to things. Sometimes other people get attached to other people’s things. It’s just where you are at the consciousness level. But if you go and you work for someone, they treat you nice, give you water, smile at you and talk to you, and pay you your salary, you don’t steal from them. That’s a very bad judgment on that person’s part.

People make mistakes. People take from other people. It’s a world of polarity. There is black, there is white, and we all have black and white inside. Can I tell you that I did not steal anything as a kid? I did. I worked at a candy store and stole a little bit of money, just a tiny bit, but I did.

I was young, I was really poor, and I wanted it. I still feel a little bit guilty about it. I only did it once, but still, it’s not cool. I’m sure I’ve done a lot of bad things to people throughout my life, not thinking it through, saying the wrong things, hurting people verbally, or somehow taking something from them. We all did, we all do it, whether we are aware of it or not.

Because these things exist, maybe the lesson is to take care of your stuff. If you have something valuable, put it out of sight or mind. It’s not a temptation for other people to take it. My husband needed to learn that lesson. You have to protect your property. You have to protect your family’s property.

People are capable of both giving and taking, and we all possess internal elements of both.

Mind you, we also disagreed about the storage place. It was my lesson of not taking responsibility and just letting him handle it. Let him handle this facility. I didn’t go check it out. I didn’t see that the facility was not that guarded.

He went on Yelp and got amazing reviews. They say that no other unit was damaged, and it’s very, very bizarre. I think it’s probably happened in the past, and they’re just not talking about it.

Trust in a higher power and surrender to its will. What God wants for us will always occur. Click To Tweet

When stuff like that happens, my point is, what is the lesson? Okay, things happen. We get sad, and we get upset, fine. We feel our emotions, and we move on. But if you don’t get the lesson at that moment, you will get it somewhere else.

In some way, it’s probably karma. With my mom, I didn’t put myself first, I put my mom first, which is true to my heart. In some ways, I robbed myself of my experience, so maybe the universe robbed me in a different way. Maybe that’s the signal I emanate. Other people come first.

You can also make the other person uncomfortable when you’re over-giving or oversharing.

This is something I’ve been working on a lot, where I did put people first for a long time. Let’s say there is this little thing that I bought myself, but I’m going to a friend’s house. I was like, “That will be a nice gift for her, and I’ll give it to her.” Then I’m like, “Actually, no, I like it, I’m going to keep it to myself.”

I put stronger boundaries around what’s mine and what somebody else’s. When you’re over-giving, oversharing also can make the other person feel uncomfortable. Then I’m thinking, why am I oversharing or physically over-giving? Is this because I want to please people? Is this because I want to be loved?

The Jewish tradition of Purim, which is the equivalent of Halloween, is where kids and adults wear costumes, and it’s a very happy holiday, it’s a beautiful holiday, and the costumes are not dark and gory like on Halloween. They’re usually more on the happier side. Of course, US influence is everywhere, so you’ll see those gory outfits too. But it’s usually happier and less dark. Halloween is a nice holiday, but it’s a little bit dark.

I remember coming to the US, looking at haunted houses and the way people decorate their houses, and being like, “Oh, this is spooky. Why do people do that?” No, I’m good with it. It’s just Halloween. But at first, coming from a different culture, it was really weird to me.

Back to the story. In Purim, there are four things that you do. You give charity to people in need. The other deed that you need to do is you need to be happy. There was another thing, but what is very traditional is also to give gift baskets to other people.

There should be a balance between giving and taking.

I prepare these humongous baskets for my girlfriends. Honestly, in Israel, we did bigger baskets. I go to my friend’s house, and she gives me her basket, which is six times smaller with three candies in it. I’m like, “Oh, okay.” I didn’t say anything, of course, because whatever people give, it’s from their heart. But it was a very big difference. I thought, now I know that when I give those big baskets, sometimes I make the other person probably a little uncomfortable because they feel like they owe me.

If I’m too nice, if I’m too giving, if I always do things in a big way, and it’s not the other person’s character to do that, they feel uncomfortable. They start feeling obligated because, in a way, what am I showing? I’m better than you, and my basket is bigger than yours. The way I do things for you is much more grandiose, and the way you do it for me. Is it ego? Am I showing off?

There is a balance of give and take. I’m probably a little off on that balance, so I need to get back to that balance. What about you? Do you overgive, sometimes, your time and your energy? It doesn’t have to be physical.

When my energy’s protected in times of challenge, I can handle things better.

Even if you are emotionally carrying people on your back all day long, and there is this unhealthy attachment between you two where they lean on you so much that you feel like you’re going to fall, look at that and ask yourself, is this the right thing to do? Why am I doing that? How is this going to help that person? If that person keeps leaning on you, they will not find their strength.

Eventually, even in nature, the chicks have to fly from the nest. Sometimes we tend to our mother or father, our friends or family. There is codependency. They become dependent on you. For years and years, even with my own family, I just thought, this is the way it is, I am the hero, I am the protector, I am there for them, I am the supporter.

I took so much on my shoulders. I still do, but at least I have the awareness not to do it to that degree. When I started putting boundaries and saying no to things, my family pushed me back. They did not like this new version of me to give them exactly what they wanted, when they wanted it, how they wanted it all the time with full attention. I’m now a mom. I can’t do that. I have my child to take care of.

Self-care is a necessary act of love and responsibility.

I have myself to take care of. If I don’t take care of myself, I won’t be able to take care of my child, and I won’t be able to take care of my family. So I need to protect my energy. When my energy’s protected in times of challenge, I can handle things better. I can bounce back from two robberies in one day within hours.

Every day, take a little step in the direction of where you want to go.

Honestly, that night, I was fine. We went to the storage unit pretty late, around 7 PM. By 10 PM, I was just like, “It’s up to God.” When God wanted it to be that way, it’s that way. If I don’t take care of myself for a long time, do the work, and set boundaries, this is a process. It doesn’t happen in a day.

You don’t just wake up one day, like, “Oh, I have healthy boundaries, I know how to handle life.” It’s a daily practice. Even if it’s not daily, at least biweekly. Every day, you take a little step in the direction of where you want to go. A year later, two years later, a decade later, you’re going to look back, and you’ll see that you are a different person for the better.

I always go out, and I always learn. Even with everything I know, I always open myself to learning new things because maybe I will learn the same bit of information differently because I’m a different person.

If you believe and know that life is working for you, it will get better.

I believe that when you are connected to a source, when you believe that the universe is conspiring for you, everything is done for you, that if you have this embedded in your heart, even through hard times and hard challenges, you are going to go through an emotional roller coaster, but emotions change. But if you have that belief and that certainty that life is working for you, it will get better.

I’ve been through postpartum depression. It was hard. I’ve been through many challenges, but I always believed there was a light in me. I can rise like a phoenix from the ashes. This belief is so embedded, I know that I’m strong, I know that I’m a warrior, and I know that I can handle whatever is coming my way.

Also, from a spiritual perspective, God wouldn’t give you more than you can handle. Whatever comes your way is coming because you have the capacity and the choice to overcome those situations. It’s your choice. Just like nobody else can do your push-ups for you, nobody can make you resilient. It’s coming from the inside. It’s not about looking outside, it’s about looking inside and finding that light within you so you can thrive, so you can be antifragile.

We get hurt physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, but we can elevate when we do the work.

Whatever comes your way, you can just Aikido it, move it. Yes, sometimes we get hurt. I’m not saying we don’t. We get hurt physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, then we do the work, then we do the work, and then we elevate.

When I did the podcast with Frank Elaridi, he described it as we live in a maya, we live in an illusion. Every once in a while, we pop our heads to look beyond the illusion. When we’re there, we understand that this is a game. The game is rigged in your favor. It’s all a game. It’s almost like a movie set.

For me, movies like The Truman Show or The Matrix resonate. Many people say that The Matrix is not a movie, it’s a documentary. People wrote these movies because they came from something. Some consciousness got into them and allowed them to show the world in an entertaining way. But unlike a movie, challenges don’t end within an hour and a half to two hours. They keep going, and we keep growing, and that’s the beauty of life.

Everything is like that. Everything is so balanced, and nothing changes. It’s boring. You don’t grow. I am going through challenging times beyond just flying and going to be with my mom. I’m worried about her health. I’ve been worried a lot lately.

I’ve been waking up every night and just worrying, worrying, and worrying. It’s quite hard. I haven’t slept much in the last two weeks. I feel a little drunk, and that’s okay. This, too, shall pass.

When I wake up in the middle of the night, and I’m so stressed out, I’m trying to find solutions. The worst thing to do if you wake up in the middle of the night is to stay in bed and stare, which I’ve done for a few nights. But if I get up and I stretch, one thing that starts helping me is I’m massaging my palms. I don’t know what points I’m massaging, but it helps me calm down, breathe, and self-talk.

From a spiritual Kabbalistic perspective, losing physical possessions can sometimes be considered a sacrifice. As our angels intervene on our behalf, ask for protection and overall well-being. Click To Tweet

What I say to myself is I am the source of my power, therefore, I can go to sleep. I am the source of my power, therefore, this too shall pass. I am the source of my power, and therefore, life’s going to be amazing. Life is amazing. I know that this, too, shall pass, and I’m going to get my sleep back.

I had one night when I had so much on my to-do list. The stream of consciousness and everything comes out in the middle of the night, where I had a to-do list in my head, I got up, I wrote it down, I went back to sleep, oh my God, more things, I got up again, I wrote it again, I went back to sleep. Three times, it was awful. But it was also super productive because that was my list for the trip. That list has been serving me tremendously.

Feel your emotions but not for too long, bounce back as soon as possible, and take responsibility to find the light and rise above.

Even when we’re going through a hard time, there is always good in everything. We just have to look for that good. What do you think? Are you going to handle your challenges a little better? Are you going to look at the spiritual reasons why you will win the game of life, even though it’s challenging?

Are you going to make sure you feel your emotions but not for too long, bounce back as soon as possible, and take responsibility to find that light and rise above? Let me know. You can go to stellarlifepodcast.com and leave me comments. You can find me there, or you can email me.

If you like this podcast and if it helps you, please share it with a friend. That will help me a lot. Also, leave a review, hopefully, a good one. I wish you a good day or night, wherever you are listening to this. I honor you for being here and listening to something that might make you feel better and elevate you. I’m grateful that you are my listener. Thank you, bye.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓}Embrace the possibility of failure as it’s often a necessary part of growth. Try and experiment until you gain valuable insights and can refine your approach.

{✓}Trust your instincts and pay attention to your inner voice. Practice tuning into your gut feelings and allowing them to inform your choices.

{✓}Allow yourself to process your emotions and permit yourself to grieve. Give yourself time and space to work through your emotions healthily.

{✓}Seek guidance and support from someone you trust. Be bold and ask for help when needed, and be open to learning from others with more experience or expertise.

{✓}Take accountability for your mistakes and acknowledge the impact of your behavior on others. Strive to make amends to make room for personal growth.

{✓}Discover the lesson or meaning behind negative events or experiences. Every challenge or setback can be an opportunity for growth and learning. 

{✓}Establish clear and healthy boundaries to maintain positive relationships. Remember that healthy boundaries are a form of self-love and are essential to your well-being.

{✓}Prioritize your own self-care to strengthen your ability to care for your loved ones. Neglecting your own needs and well-being can lead to burnout, stress, and other negative outcomes.

{✓}Explore new experiences and learning opportunities for continual growth. Remember that there is always room for exploration and development.

{✓}To access the latest podcast episodes, visit Orion’s website, and join the Stellar Life: A Community of Extraordinary Women Facebook group to become a part of a supportive community of exceptional women.

Links and Resources

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