A Personal Note From Orion

Welcome to another inspiring episode of Stellar Life! In this conversation, we sit down with the remarkable John Miles, a former naval officer, FBI agent, and C-suite executive turned podcast host, author, and coach. Together, we delve into the multifaceted nature of fear, both physical and psychological, and how confronting it head-on can lead to incredible growth and empowerment. 

John introduces the enlightening concepts from Scott Simon’s “Scare Your Soul” and highlights his own innovative “mosquito principle,” which serves as a metaphor for recognizing and managing negative influences in our lives. We also discuss overcoming imposter syndrome, the importance of self-awareness and boundaries, and the impactful lessons from John’s military service.

Additionally, John shares profound insights from his book Passion Struck, which offers a structured approach to achieving self-realization. Whether you’re seeking motivation, direction, or a fresh perspective, this conversation is packed with actionable tips to help you live a more intentional and passion-filled life. Tune in as we journey through the principles of resilience, goal setting, and the pursuit of personal fulfillment. So, without further ado, let’s dive into the show!

In This Episode

• [01:11] – Orion introduces John Miles, highlighting his diverse background. John reflects on the lessons gained from his military experience, such as resilience and time management.
• [09:24] – John unpacks the mosquito principle, detailing its three categories: bloodsucker, invisible suffocator, and pain in the ass.
• [12:22] – John delves into the practical application of the Eisenhower Matrix.
• [16:53] – Orion and John explore the concept of fear, exchanging personal strategies for confronting and overcoming it.
• [23:22] – John praises Orion for achieving 400 podcast episodes and underscores the importance of cultivating internal fulfillment and psychological wealth.
• [28:56] – John addresses overcoming imposter syndrome and breaking free from bad habits.
• [34:28] – John introduces the key themes of his book, Passion Struck, and explains the different levels of his Passion Struck Quiz.
• [40:52] – John underscores the value of goal setting, motivation, and willpower in achieving success.
• [42:41] – John shares his top tips for living a stellar life.

Jump to Links and Resources

About Today’s Show

 John, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for having me. It is an honor to be here with your audience, and I’ve been so excited about this.

Oh, you’re so kind. Thank you. I’m looking forward to this conversation, too. Before we begin, please tell me a little bit about yourself and how you discovered your passion.

I have really lived three different lives. I think one of the core messages I love to share is that we now more than ever need to reinvent ourselves. It will become an even bigger priority for those in the next generations to come.

But I first started out serving in the military. I was a naval officer for several years, leaving that to become an FBI agent. My class ended up getting recycled two days before I was supposed to go because of a congressional funding shortage. It ended up causing me to take a completely different path than I thought I would. 

We now, more than ever, need to reinvent ourselves.

So I ended up going into the industry for the next 25 years and spent time first as a management consultant for a couple of firms, Booz Allen and then Arthur Andersen Consulting. I ended up going into traditional Fortune 500 companies. I worked for common names that people would know. Lowe’s, Dell, and then became the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of a billion-dollar company and then the CEO of two or three companies. 

But as I was getting more senior in my career, I felt that I was getting this calling to do something different that kept showing up. In 2021, I decided to take that plunge and cross the chasm of doing what I was completely passionate about in the background. I started Passion Struck, a media company that hosts the Passion Struck Podcast, my book, and, in the future, more podcasts, books, coaching, and other things.

That’s incredible. Going back to your military time, how do you think your military service shaped you into the very powerful entrepreneur, coach, teacher, author, and podcast host you are today?

I got to attend one of my favorite events in the Tampa Bay area. We have something called the Frogman Swim, which occurs in January, where participants swim in 50-degree water to honor fallen or service-injured Navy SEALs. This has been going on for 17 or 18 years now. But they started another fundraiser called Frogman Feast. It’s this great event where chefs from 25 of the nicest restaurants in Florida come in, and each creates a top-up for you to sample. 

You need to see challenges in your life, almost like a rubber band.

The winner gets a really cool award. All of it benefits the families of the Navy SEAL Foundation. I happened to be talking to one of the team guys there, and we were talking about this very concept of what we both learned the most from the military. I think it’s this whole concept that you need to see challenges in your life, almost like a rubber band. We were talking about going through BUD/S training and going on some of the missions that we are on. 

There are times when the challenges you face are so extreme that your rubber band condenses to the point that you’ve got to put mind over matter for that succinct period to get through whatever that challenge is. Other times, your challenge expands like a rubber band, where maybe you’re at BUD/S training, and it’s the afternoon, and you know you’re going to go through classroom training, and it’s not as arduous as some of the other periods you’ve had before. 

Then, your time horizon goes a little bit further. This is something I have really learned in my life. You have to have that perspective because we’re all going to be facing challenges. It’s about building resilience to overcome both short-term and longer-term challenges and knowing how to respond to them. That’s something that I definitely learned from my military training.

That’s amazing. I served in the IDF. What I took with me is that you enter almost like a child, and you live like an adult and learn discipline, which changes you completely in a good way. I think I also understood the value of 30 seconds and what I can do in 30 seconds. Our basic training was always like, “30 seconds, do this, 30 seconds, do that.” I said, “Wow, you can do so many things in 30 seconds. I did not even know that. That’s amazing.” How did you come up with your book? What was the inspiration for that?

Passion Struck by John R. Miles

Well, it reminds me of a quote from Sharon Salzberg. She’s really one of the top authorities in the United States on mindfulness, which she studied under the Dalai Lama, and is at the forefront of conscious engagement. She has this quote that I love. “There’s no commodity we can take with us. “There’s no commodity we can take with us. There is only our lives, whether we live them wisely or whether we live them in ignorance. And this is everything.” 

My book really ties into that concept. Many times, people ask me, “What would you tell John, who’s 23 or 24 and just going into military service?” I would tell him to read my book, Passion Struck, because I wrote it for many different populations. One of them was to give my kids, who are now 20 and 26, the keys that I learned so they could shortcut many of the mistakes I made, but more importantly, to find a way that they could live their lives wisely and try to figure out how they can pursue the steps that will lead them to self-realization. Or, as Maslow says, self-actualization. That’s what the book is really about. It’s 12 principles that get you closer to your self-realized self.

You could share some of those principles. What do you think is one that everybody is missing?

Well, one of the favorite ones that people always ask me about is the “mosquito principle,” but it’s really becoming a “mosquito auditor.” I’ll give you the metaphor behind what this is. I was writing this chapter, and what I’m talking about is invisible influences in our lives that can take us down the right or wrong path. I was trying to think of how I could use a metaphor to explain the impact of this. 

I happened to be listening to a radio show, and the announcer came on and said, “What is the most dangerous animal on the planet?” Everyone was guessing a lion, a shark, this, or that—the same things were going through my head, maybe a poisonous snake or a spider. And what it actually is is the mosquito. The mosquito kills more people in a year than all the sharks together will in about 100 years. It comes out to a million to 2 million lives every single year. Yet when you think of a mosquito, it’s so benign. We oftentimes don’t even know it’s there until it bites us. Or we might feel its presence, but we don’t really think about the harm it can do.

There’s no commodity we can take with us. There is only our lives, whether we live them wisely or whether we live them in ignorance. And this is everything. – Sharon Salzberg

The same thing is true with the human mosquitoes around us. So, in this chapter, I go through the story of Oprah Winfrey and Titus O’Neil, a professional world wrestling star.  I talk about the three types of mosquitoes that I decided to profile, which are the bloodsucker, the invisible suffocator, and the pain in the ass. There are many more types than that, but I thought that everyone could resonate with those three types. Bloodsucker is that person that we know who’s trying to steal all the blood that they can from us for their own personal gain. The invisible suffocator is that person who looks at the world—

–loves us to death.

Yes. I try to get people to think about looking at a target since we’re talking about the military and the bullseye and the rings outside of it. Who are those people in your bullseye, those three to five people closest to you? Are any of them one of these three types of mosquitoes? Then expand it from there because once you know, it’s a true blessing, because then you know that you’re going to have to put boundaries up or eliminate those mosquitoes if they’re really having a severe impact on your life and do something about them.

Did you have your own personal lessons in putting boundaries? You seem like a very kind person. You are super tough but also extremely kind. Did you have any lessons about boundaries?

I’ve had tons throughout my life. Sometimes the boundaries you have to put up are with some of the people who are closest to you. There have been times when I have had to move friends or friend groups to one of the outside circles because they’re negatively impacting where I want to take my life—meaning the activities that they’re consumed in. They’re fun but not intentionally leading me to where I want to go. 

When that is filling your life and your time, that is where you will focus it. Something I really try to use is The Eisenhower Matrix, where you look at two major quadrants of your life. What are you putting your money towards, or your pocketbook, and what are you putting your calendar towards? Because those two things are typically what you’re equating to what’s most important.

So it’s really learning to prioritize what’s truly important and what’s urgent for you to get done. Oftentimes, you’re consuming your life with things that don’t fit that criteria. So you’ve got to put up a boundary and move away from them.

I feel like there is also some kind of grief that is showing up when you have to let go of people. Sometimes, you have to let go of people you don’t want to let go of. But, you know, it’s not good for you. For me personally, it’s almost like a process of, “Okay, we had a really good time. It was an amazing connection. We were great back then. And now it’s time.” Like, I’m in a different place, and I need to choose to move on.

I think it naturally happens with people from high school, maybe some of the people we went to college with. But as time goes on, it’s more difficult to do it with those people. Like you’re saying, who are you developing a connection with? Maybe during that period of time, it’s the right connection.

Oftentimes, you’re consuming your life with things that don’t fit that criteria. So you’ve got to put up a boundary and move away from them.

But then you set your sights on a purpose that you’re trying to meet, and they are just living their life or have characteristics going in a completely different direction. Sometimes, those relationships are difficult to break up. But it could be what’s holding you back from the most important goals that you have to achieve in your life.

I’m not sure this is a quote from Tony Robbins, but that’s where I heard it: “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” That’s why you have to really choose your peer group. It doesn’t matter what your passion is; if you’re in a bad environment, it’s going to affect you—unless you are the Man of Steel.

Yeah, absolutely correct.

The environment definitely affects you. When somebody wants to find their passion, how do they create the right environment for themselves? Sometimes, I wish to hang out with some people. That feels far, far away or unreachable, or I’m like, “Oh, I wish I was in that group.” What do you do to be in the right peer group?

Well, I think you can’t just expect that one day you’re going to be there. Let’s say you wanted to be in Tony Robbins’ circle. You’ve got to be intentional about the steps you’re going to take.

Oh, just pay $150,000 a year, and you’re good.

You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. – Jim Rohn

Well, I think of it as more. We are so much closer to anyone in the world than we even realize through our networks, yet we don’t fully utilize the networks. So, if I wanted to reach Tony, I would look at my network to see who would be the people in closest proximity, not necessarily to Tony but to people who are close to Tony. For instance, you could look at someone like Eric Edmeades, who shares the stage with Tony on many occasions, and Eric is much more accessible. 

You could even take one of his public speaking training classes. If you’re into alternative health, you can double down on what he’s doing about ancient ancestral diets and develop a relationship with him. Through him, you have a much higher probability of meeting Tony Robbins. In that example, you also get to meet Eric Edmeads, a super incredible person with a great community.

There’s a way to get to people. I actually know people from the inner circle there. My husband used to be a platinum member, and I know this world, and there is a way to get places like you joined a very high-level mastermind or you contact the person. You found your passion. But then there is also imposter syndrome—who I am and why would they listen to me? Something that I personally sometimes struggle with getting better, though. How do you get over that?

I think this is one of the biggest roadblocks that we have. It’s really a mindset shift going from fear of what we think we can accomplish. I’ll go back to one of your guests that you had. I can’t remember his name, but he was the gentleman you and I were talking about before the show. It’s a great episode for anyone who wants to listen to it.

We are so much closer to anyone in the world than we even realize through our networks, yet we don’t fully utilize the networks.

He’s amazing, and I like him very much.

Yeah, well, he was talking about fear as a physical element. I kind of agree with them that there is the fear of physical harm, but there’s also the fear from a psychological standpoint. We were talking about BUD/S before you could have the fear, even before you get in the pool, that you might suffocate during one of their drills. That’s a psychological fear that you have. Oftentimes, that fear of drowning is huge. 

But we have fears of public speaking, or we have fears of putting ourselves out there on a podcast, or we have fear that our words might not be elegant enough if we write a book. There are so many fears we have.

I think the first thing you must do to confront it is start looking at what’s on the other side of it. I have traumatic brain injuries that I’ve had and from some other life experiences. I have a speech impediment. You do not really have some cognitive issues. 

For me, public speaking has been something that I’ve wanted to do my whole life, but I’m extremely nervous about it because, at any time, I could misspeak, or my speech impediment could come through. And so you could choose not to speak and live in that vacuum, or you can choose to put yourself out there like I have done with the podcast. Having to do this three times a week. 

On top of that, I took improv classes and went to Toastmasters. I did everything I could to put myself in an uncomfortable position so I would screw up before I screwed up on a large stage. The more you train yourself—and I have to tell you, the first public speeches I gave and the first podcast episodes weren’t great, but you learn from them—you start seeing your mistakes, and you get over that fear. It’s the same thing for anything you want to face. 

Scare Your Soul by by Scott Simon

If you know you’re going to BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL) school and you know that drowning could be a phobia, you have then to prepare for it. One of the things you could do is to start learning how to hold your breath. That’s what I was talking to this gentleman about. It’s a fear that he had before he went to BUD/S. Even before getting there, he learned to hold his breath for over four minutes. And why that was so important is he could hold his breath longer than any of the instructors could, so he knew he would be able to outlast anyone. It no longer became a fear for him. That’s how you approach the fears that impact your life.

Yes, I approach my fears head-on. I always did go like, “Okay, this is hard. Let’s do it. This is not normal. This is different.”

Well, this guy, you’ve got to have on the podcast, Orion. I’ll introduce you to him. He is Scott Simon. Scott wrote this fantastic book called Scare Your Soul. He is all about challenge exercises to help people confront their fears.

I love it because he does things that may be a couple of steps outside where they feel comfortable but are achievable. He puts these things out to his community all the time. A great way for people to do it is to create challenge exercises for themselves to face the fear that they might have.

Yes, I have attended many self-development seminars, walked on hot coals and glass, broken an arrow in my neck, broken boards, and jumped from a telephone pole. When you do those things, you feel like, “Hey, I’m stronger than I think I am.” You get motivated, and then you forget that you’re actually great. And then you do it again to remember that you’re great. Then you forget and do it again. And one day, you’ll stop forgetting. Do you know of the Tough Mudder?

Yes.

I did that one, too.

I’ve done that.

That’s amazing. We did that in New Jersey, and it was 30 degrees outside. The first obstacle was the Chernobyl Jacuzzi, where you go into an ice water bath. We were so cold. At the end of the race, our team got our headbands and our beer, but we had a forced smile. We were shaking. I couldn’t peel the clothes off of me. It was really cold. 

When you do things like that, “Hey, you got a story to tell to impress somebody. You used to be in the Navy SEAL. I was like, “Hey, look at me. I’ve done it.” But it also gives you a sense of power and empowerment and allows you to move forward. Do you challenge yourself a lot? It seems like you do.

I do. Something that I try to share in my newsletters every week is that I try to organize my week of episodes. Congratulations to you for eight-plus years of doing this podcast.

Thank you.

For those who aren’t podcasters, they don’t realize how much effort that is.

When you gave me that compliment, my shoulders went back, my chest went up, and I felt so proud of myself. Thank you, darling. I appreciate it.

Doing almost 400 episodes like you have is no small feat. When I think of my own time doing a podcast, I almost look at the episode count more than I do the downloads because that’s where that effort comes in. But what I was talking about is I try to orient my topics for a week to align with the solo episode I’m doing. Then, in my newsletter, I try to give the audience who reads it seven days of challenges that they can do. 

There are so many fears we have. The first thing you must do to confront it is start looking at what’s on the other side.

For instance, I had my episode on psychological wealth, and I had two episodes that kind of went into that. Psychological wealth is really getting over the quiet desperation that so many people feel today, where they’re putting so much of their focus on thinking that their success and happiness are being driven by external matters of what they think is going to make them happy, as opposed to psychological wealth, which is really that inner guidepost, that inner flame that’s really igniting their purpose.

I gave a challenge exercise on seven days of building your psychological wealth. But I wanted this to go beyond that, so I created a year-long guide that people could use as well. That’s how I try to do it. I put myself through the same challenges that I put the audience of the show through.

What’s the fire behind your passion? Is that your kid, or is it your kids or something else?

No, I got a calling at this point, probably around 2007 or 2008, during my time at Lowe’s. It was probably the first time that I had truly done a deep investigation of the Bible. I was going to a Methodist church at the time. I was raised Catholic, and I’m still Catholic, but I wanted to try something different to get me closer to religion. They have this class called Discipleship. These are like 36-week-long classes. You meet twice a week in the evening. It’s not a trivial thing.

In Discipleship 1, you go through the whole Bible. In Discipleship 2, you go through the New Testament. In Discipleship 3, you go through the Old Testament. But it was really eye-opening for me because the pastor who taught it had a PhD in Theology and a PhD in History. He took stories from the Old Testament, let’s say, and fast-forwarded them to today to show you what was happening historically and how to think about this today in the world we live in. 

Willpower is the engine, but it’s your personal definition of success that should steer the wheel, not external validation.

It was the first time I had to say that I actually read every single word of the Bible or listened to it because I would listen to a lot of it on my commute and really study it. During this time, I really developed a more mindful practice of self-awareness. But I tried to listen to the inputs I was getting, and I started to hear a calling: that I was being asked to help the beaten, broken, bored, lonely, and helpless of heart.

I’ll tell you, when you’re a senior executive and a Fortune 500 company and you get that message, you’re like, “What in the world are you talking about? Who are these people? How am I supposed to help them?” Given that I had just heard all these stories from the Old Testament, I think that’s how many people back then felt when they were tapped on the shoulder and said, “I’ve got a mission for you, and it’s very uncomfortable.” 

And what I did was instead of accepting it, I pushed back on it for a number of years, trying to really figure out what I was supposed to do. It finally worked out about seven years ago that all those things I talked about are symptomatic of a society that lacks meaning in their lives. I think we have chronic unmattering that is impacting so many people, especially in this disease of disconnection world that we live in where so many people are inundated by the distractions of living their life like they’re in the game of pinball, just bouncing off of the things that they encounter that they’re not being intentional. 

Psychological wealth is really getting over the quiet desperation that so many people feel today, where they’re putting so much of their focus on thinking that external matters are driving their success and happiness.

I love this about your show. “To live out loud.” They’re not living the life that they were put on earth to do. For me, it was two years of really doing the work on myself. I’m supposed to be helping this community of people who want to have more significance in the world. They want to feel like they matter not only to themselves but also to others. Most importantly, it makes others feel like they matter. That is really what I’ve been trying to do with everything related to Passion Struck.

Yeah, it’s really stepping out of your comfort zone. I bet your job was, well, maybe not easy, but familiar and easy.

–ish.

Because you knew it, and then you step into, “I’m going to change the world, and I’m going to help so many people,” which you do. I’m really happy that you listened to the calling. How do you suggest somebody listening now connect to their calling or listen? Or is there a spiritual practice that you recommend?

Whether you practice religion or not, I think it all comes down to the need to develop a practice of mindfulness. It all comes down to self-awareness. In order to matter to anyone else or to help others matter, you first have to learn how to matter to yourself. I think back to when you were asking me about imposter syndrome, our fears, and everything else. We let so much of that invade our inner person that, over time, it starts to suffocate our very selves and spirits inside. 

The only way you can get back to that is you have to do the hard inner work to allow, whether it’s the spirits in the universe, God, however, you want to think about it, into your life so that they can guide you to where you need to go. Because I truly believe that we are all put here for a very specific mission. From a spiritual perspective, what we’re doing here is we’re living in Earth school, and we have very specific things that we are supposed to accomplish.

When we accomplish them and go on the right path, our lives tend to go pretty well when we’re fighting against them or not doing what we’re asked to do. That’s where we stumble or impact or have challenges or misfortunes impact us. So it’s really listening to that inner guide, trusting it, and then taking action. The hardest thing is figuring out the path that you want to take and then learning how to take the actions to accomplish it, which I explore throughout the book. This all comes down to the micro choices that we make every single day.

How do you get out of bad habits?

The same way you get into good habits? Well, let me put it this way. I think we tend to look at mega events in our lives, and we think that it’s those mega events, whether it’s getting married, graduating from a school, going through boot camp, or whatever these events are. I think those are all important. But I think we don’t think enough about the choices that we make every single day. 

A great way to think about this from my time in the military is when we were going on an operation, we get hyper-focused about what will happen at the point of the operation itself, and we don’t put as much attention on the ingress and the egress. What I have found when I was in combat is that we had more injuries and more fatalities going to the operation or from the operation than we did in the actual operation. Because you’re not being as intentional during those moments, you’re kind of putting yourself into autopilot. I think the same thing goes with our lives.

When we’re just living our daily lives, we’re not being conscious about the choices that we’re making. It’s really being deliberate about the choices that you want to make.

In order to matter to anyone else or to help others matter, you first have to learn how to matter to yourself.

All it takes to start making one or two different choices a day is to break a habit or create a new one. If you want to get out of the habit of eating sweets per se, there are those choices that will come to you on any given day where you’re going to feel the urge to want to eat sugar. So it comes down to that choice. 

Now, you can make that choice and do it all at once, trying to cut cold turkey, which will be much more difficult. Or you could give yourself choices that this week, I’m going to permit myself to have sugar three times instead of seven times. Once you do that and you do it for a couple of weeks back to back, you’re making progress. From there, you can say, “I’m going to do it two times a week.” From there, you can say, “I’m going to do it one time a week.” And then maybe you say, “I’ll allow myself to have a treatment one time per week or one time per month.” That’s how you get out of a habit or create a new one.

Right. It’s also a matter of personality because, for some people, cutting everything cold turkey is much easier than just doing the little things every day. It’s also a mindset perception where, “Oh, poor me, I’m a victim, I don’t have to eat. I really want this, but I can’t have it.” And then you have this inner struggle, or you frame it differently as, “Oh my God, I’m so proud of myself. This is me getting healthy.” 

And every time you see sugar, it’s actually an anchor for, “I am amazing for not eating it,” rather than, “I’m a victim for not eating it.” So you shift that mindset, and it may be easier to deal with, in this example, eating sugar or doing anything else that might be harmful to you.

Assess your inner circle and set boundaries. Those who suffocate your growth or drain your energy don’t deserve a place in your life.

Or maybe use it as a reward mechanism. You could set up criteria for if you do something exceptional, that’s your doing. That is your gift of allowing yourself to have a treat, whatever it might be.

I want to ask you about your quiz on your website. I got the result of my quiz, but I cannot take a screenshot of it. It’s not opening for me, but I remember getting a score of 82, which is probably good. So it’s called the Passion Struck Quiz. Tell me a little bit about it.

The book is organized in the first section on mindset shifts. The second section is about behavior shifts. This is all going against a model of the Passion Struck model. In the book’s third section, once I’ve taught the principles, I will show you how you put them into actual action in your life. There are so many books I’ve read that lay out principles, but then they stop short of telling you how you implement them. 

All it takes to start making one or two different choices a day is to break a habit or create a new one.

I was trying to provide a mechanism for readers to gauge where they currently are and where they want to go. I go through a series of different levels, starting with the subsystem, then the imitator, the vanquisher, the orchestrator and the creative amplifier.

Oh, I think I got the creative amplifier. Yes.

Let me just go through each one. The subsister is someone who feels a lot of apathy in their life. They’re indifferent, self-centered, and gripped by an overwhelming fear of change and settling for comfort or the status quo. 

The imitator is someone who tends to be conforming. They’re driven by ego and the need to fit in, and they fit into group or societal norms. 

The vanquisher is ambitious and relentless, constantly striving for personal success and determined to conquer obstacles on the path to greatness. But they’re not really trying to solve world issues. They’re more focused on individual success than the success that they can bring to others. 

The orchestrator is someone who’s balanced and visionary. They have more of a managed ego and genuine concern for the world, actively seeking out systematic change and progress. 

Then, the creative amplifier is at the top of the pyramid for what I created. They’re conscious and humble, fully engaged with a world-centric perspective, resilient in the face of challenges and really empowered to realize their self realized self. Those are the five different creatures’ criteria. The quiz gives you an indicator of where on that path you are currently set.

That’s awesome because as I was reading the questions, I didn’t know anything about them. I looked at myself and thought, “Wow, my answers probably changed from different times in my life when I think that before I became a mom, I was more of the last one where I didn’t care and faced challenges even with more bravery or stupidity.” But since I became a mom, I’ve become more responsible or even more fearful, and things changed. Maybe it comes with age. I don’t know where I don’t head on with everything that’s going on. Now, I have more responsibility in my life. I think that when you look at those avatars you created, we’re all one or the other at some point in our lives or even at some point in the day.

It’s absolutely true. You could be a creative amplifier and have something happen to you that brings you back down to one of the lower levels. Earlier in my career, when I was in the military, I was more of an imitator because I was really driven by a culture that was conforming. I felt a need to fit in because of the military groups I was associated with. I was adhering more to the norms of that community. So, different life stages can fit into this. 

But what I’m trying to show is that to become self-realized, you really have to let go of the ego and take a more world-centric view. Because I think we’re all put here to serve others. And that’s the key thing I’m trying to drive throughout the book.

Finding your passion isn’t a one-time event; it’s an ongoing process of reinvention and intentional living.

Beautiful. Even when you are a creative creator, it doesn’t mean you don’t have hard days, cry, struggle, or have internal conflicts. It’s just a part of the human nature. You still experience all your emotions, and you still have all those challenges. Maybe just on a bigger level, you’re just more equipped to deal with it. And maybe you don’t stay in the negative emotion for as long as you used to.

You don’t. One of the most important things I talk about in the book is that many people talk about the need to take action. But what I’ve tried to do is go down into it deeper. We hear words like action, ambition, and aspiration, and we think they’re independent variables. We think they’re isolated, but they’re actually interconnected. They’re not interdependent. That’s one of the most important things we’ve got to realize. 

When our actions support our intentions, and our intentions align with our aspirations, we become unstoppable. It’s really learning how to put those habits in place, align them, and then put a belief system around them so that that becomes your north star when you align those three things together.

How do you suggest one rewires their brain and creates new beliefs and connections that will give them more success, discipline, or passion to move forward?

Big Goals by Caroline Adams Miller

This is an area I wish I had spent more time talking about in the book. There’s actually a great book by Caroline Miller that goes deeper into goal setting. I’m not talking about the goal-setting theories that most of us have been brought up with, such as KPIs. She really goes into the science of goal setting. But to me, there’s a definite need to have goal setting because we first have to establish the motivation for why we want to change. 

To me, that motivation needs to result in a clear goal we’re trying to obtain, and then once we have that motivation or that goal, we’re shooting for it. The second thing you have to do is put a system in place so that you can monitor your behavior and track your progress toward that goal. I think the third component is willpower. Whether your goal is to lose weight, kick a smoking habit, get rid of sugar from your diet, study more, or spend less time on social media, willpower is one of the absolute most critical steps to achieving the outcome.

Beautiful. I remember who said that where you have more willpower in the morning and then when you get later in the day, you have less. So, you might want to do your major tasks in the morning when your willpower is still strong. But it’s not true for everybody.

That’s definitely true for me. That’s why I front-load my day with workouts. Anything I have to do for writing, like writing an episode for the podcast or writing a book, or important things that I have to get done, I put them first. Because you’re right, as the day goes on, at least for me, I lose that drive and energy to complete them.

Yeah. What are your three top tips for living a stellar life?

I think the first one would be to do this exercise. Think of yourself sitting on a kitchen stool, think about the legs underneath the stool, and think about what makes up the support that’s holding you up currently. Then, think about your future self and whether those support structures underneath you. Are they the same? There was a point in my life where I felt a lack of significance. I felt like I was kind of just going through the motions. I was bored with work. I felt apathy myself. 

I realized that one of the major supports that was carrying more weight than the other support and putting me out of balance was the constant grind. I was constantly so busy that I wasn’t giving myself space for myself and really equating the things that were most important for me in proper balance. I had to shift my own stool to be more focused on my physical health, my mental health, my relationship health, and my emotional health because those things were lacking, and when they lack, you’re completely out of balance.

That’s a good exercise. The next thing that I have to do when I think of a tip is to figure out how to cultivate self-compassion. So, a practice where you treat yourself with kindness, especially in moments of failure or inadequacy, because everyone makes mistakes. And to me, my huge progression in personal growth comes from those moments. A couple of months ago, we had hurricanes here in the slope area, and my house was impacted by three feet of water. I lost everything. 

You could either look at that moment and just dwell on the negativity, or you can practice kindness and gratitude for the things that filled you up and that you get to start over and rebuild those things in your life. The third step for me would be to really develop a practice of defining success on your own terms. This means you shouldn’t listen to the world when setting goals. Learn how to set goals that align with your personal values and bring intrinsic satisfaction rather than those primarily aimed at gaining recognition or, more importantly, approval from others.

That’s beautiful. Where can people find you, take the quiz,  get your book, and listen to the podcast?

Well, Orion, thank you so much for having me. It’s a joy to be on your podcast, and it’s a great show. Thank you for what you’re doing for the world.

It’s a joy having you. You’re amazing. Thank you.

If you want to learn more about Passion Struck, go to passionstruck.com. If you want to learn more about me, you can visit johnrmiles.com and follow me on social media. I’m in both places.

Amazing. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you very much. I’m sure you inspired a lot of people who are listening right now. And thank you, listeners. Think about who your support system will be for your future self. Practice self-compassion and self-love. 

Like Louise Hay says, when something bad happens, go to the mirror and say, “I love you. I love you no matter what.” So if something good happens, love yourself. If something bad happens, love yourself because it’s really, really important. You have to have your own back and define success on your own terms. Don’t listen to outside voices; just do you. It’s the most important thing. And have a stellar life. This is Orion, till next time.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓}Transform your fears by facing them head-on. Whether it’s public speaking or intense physical challenges, exposure and practice build resilience and unshakeable confidence over time.

{✓} Identify negative influences in your life and set clear boundaries. Limiting interactions with “mosquitoes” will protect your energy and help you focus on what truly matters.

{✓}Redefine success based on your personal values rather than external opinions. Real success is derived from inner satisfaction and aligns with your true self.

{✓}Consistently make decisions that push you closer to your aspirations. Small, intentional daily choices lead to significant life changes. 

{✓}Embrace life as an ongoing learning journey. Practicing mindfulness and staying open to spiritual or internal guidance can bring clarity to your personal mission.

{✓}Regularly step out of your comfort zone. Participate in activities and tasks that push your limits, from self-development seminars to intense physical challenges.

{✓}Surround yourself with people who encourage growth and inspire you to pursue your passions. Your peer group massively influences you; choose wisely. 

{✓}Master the art of prioritizing with tools like Eisenhower’s matrix, which helps you manage tasks by urgency and importance. This will enhance your time management and goal achievement.

{✓}Cultivate kindness towards yourself, especially when facing setbacks. Self-compassion provides the emotional fuel needed to remain motivated and persistent.

{✓}Visit John Miles’s website, johnrmiles.com, to connect with him, learn more about his work, and access information about his book, Passion Struck.

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About John R. Miles

John R. Miles is a dynamic thought leader, award-winning author, and globally renowned podcast host. A former naval officer and Naval Academy graduate, John spent years in the C-suite of international businesses before embarking on a deeply personal journey toward intentional living. Over seven years, John immersed himself in the study of behavioral science, neuroscience, and psychology while learning from over 700 trailblazers across these fields. This extensive research became the foundation for his groundbreaking insights on behavior change, personal mastery, and purpose-driven living.

His discoveries led to the creation of the Passion Struck podcast, which quickly became a global phenomenon with over 45 million downloads. As the host, John engages with some of the world’s most influential thinkers, including Gary Vaynerchuk, Gabby Bernstein, Seth Godin, Angela Duckworth, and Susan Cain. Through these in-depth conversations, John shares powerful lessons and actionable strategies for living an intentional and purpose-filled life.

John’s award-winning book, Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life, has been recognized by the Next Big Idea Club and earned accolades such as the 2024 International Business Awards® for Best Business Book and Best eBook. His work inspires millions of readers and listeners worldwide to embrace the science of intentionality and transform their lives.

With a mission to inspire and equip individuals to live with passion and purpose, John continues to be a sought-after voice in alternative health, leadership, and personal development.

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