Episode 139 | October 23, 2018

Willpower of Steel with Eli Shahaf


 

A Personal Note from Orion

In most cases, you’ll find that you are the number one roadblock in achieving your goals. We are often full of self-limiting beliefs the cause us to think we will never achieve the life we want, even though that life is waiting for us with open arms, if only we have the willpower to go after it.

And not only do we have to go after our dream life, we have to be ok with having it once we get there. When you come across success or achievements, allow yourself to feel pride in what you have accomplished, to bask in the glow of happiness, because so often we are set back by our own self-esteem that tell us we are not worthy.

You are worthy of your dream life and more! My guest today, Eli Shahaf, is here to guide you on the ways you can overcome your limiting beliefs so you can develop the willpower to go after what you want. He is a coach who has helped hundreds of people change their habits to experience incredible breakthroughs. Tune in to start creating your own change.

About Today’s Show

Have you ever told yourself, “I have no willpower?” According to my guest, willpower is a learned skill and you can train your willpower to be stronger and stronger. The first step is to promise promises to yourself and the second step is to keep your promises to yourself. You can start with small steps and small promises and day by day strengthen that willpower muscle, so you will have a willpower of steel and nothing will ever stand in your way. Eli Shahaf is a mentor. He helps people change habits and he is an expert in helping people break through. He worked with thousands and thousands of students and help high-level people to break through in their business and in their life. He’s also been written as one of the five most promising businesspeople in Israel for 2019, which is a great achievement. I’m sure that you will learn so much. His style is very approachable and very fun, you will get inspired by this conversation.

Eli, welcome to the show.

It’s so great to be here.

We met at your seminar and you worked with me a little bit. You gave me tons of inspiration and it was insanely awesome. I’m super grateful and super happy that you’re here. I’m very grateful to be talking to you.

It’s my pleasure. When we did the seminar I asked, “Who wants to go onstage and be coached?” You said, “I’m going to do it.” You came up on stage and were so brave. Kudos to you for that.

The person who comes in with a stronger intention will get it. Click To Tweet

The moment you said you’re going to bring someone onstage, I had a very strong intention. I was like, “I’m going to be there.” In any situation, the person with the bigger frame, the person who comes in with a stronger intention will get it. It’s almost like sending a signal to the universe like, “I really want it,” so there are more chances for me to have it.

I have to say something about the word frame that you used because I like this word. I would use the word frequency. When you have a certain frequency, it transcends you. It goes to other people and they can sense it. We all want to be Superman somehow. We want to wear those tights, the cape and so on. Sometimes we wear the cape and the outfit but inside, we are Clark Kent with the glasses. This is a frame but when we have the right frequency, then we are Superman. We feel like Superman and this frequency is something that transcends us. It goes all the way to other people and they can sense it. That’s what I sensed from you that day.

I also believe that we have energetic fields around us. There is the physical field but there is also the electromagnetic field that comes from our heart and connects to other people. There is the principle of oneness and how we’re all connected. When we are aligned in this frequency to other people, all kinds of unforeseen opportunities are opening up to us because we are vibrating at the same vibration as other people. I truly believe in the Law of Attraction and how we can attract and manifest things into our lives.

The app, Waze, that you used to navigate your way through traffic, is the same as the Law of Attraction. When you say, “I want something. I want it. I need it. I feel it,” it’s like you have an inner Waze, an inner GPS and you put the address of what you want but unless you’re very specific, Waze will not take you where you want. If, for example, you’re in New York and you write New Jersey in your Waze, it’s very unspecific. Waze will deliver something to you, a place to get there, but it will not specifically be the place that you’re asking to go. If you’re very specific with what you want, it’s like writing in the app, Waze, a certain address and it will take you there the fastest or the right way. People who say what they don’t want to, try typing in Waze, “Not to Manhattan,” let’s see what happens which addresses you get. If you say not to Manhattan, I can assure you that you’re going to end up in Manhattan. We have to be very specific with what we want. This frequency that we were talking about is exactly that because other people can sense that as well.

If you’re very specific with what you want, you’ll get it the fastest.

 

Do you do vision boards?

I do it, but I haven’t done a new one in three years. The old vision board is right in front of me because I’m sitting in my office and I see the vision board in front of me. Looking at those seven pictures, I see that I got everything I wanted almost. There is a seminar in front of thousands of people, so I did it in front of hundreds of people. There is this house that I wanted and I’m living in something quite similar but it’s a rental. It’s almost there and I feel that I haven’t achieved what I wanted. I do like them because they are my Waze. They are an image of what I want.

Before I met my husband, I did a vision board and I put pictures of your desired relationship. I did a lot of affirmations and visualizations. I went to a Tony Robbins event, Date with Destiny, and it was the relationship day. I was super emotional that day. Then that night, I sat by a little waterfall. It was [1:00] AM and I wrote my relationship vision. I didn’t only write what I want in a partner, I wrote, “Who do I need to become to attract this?” In other words, what will be my frequency? How am I going to show up in the world that will be a vibrational match to attract my dream partner? 48 hours later, exactly at [1:00] AM when the event was over, I met my soulmate. He proposed to me on a hot air balloon in Vegas nine days after we met, and it was beautiful and romantic. I said no. I was just recovering from a super traumatic relationship. For me, it was like, “Hold your horses.” When we met, it was after six days of seeing a lot of egos and releasing a lot of layers. We met at a soul level. There were no games. All the dating games, they were out of it. We met when we both were our best selves. That’s why it was a bit more genuine but still, the realistic part of me said, “No,” and we were very sad. It was a sad twenty minutes descending back to Earth. A month later, he proposed to me by that waterfall and I said, “Yes,” and that’s my story.

I also did Date With Destiny in Florida. Something of similar significance happened there for me. There was a day there, it was the fifth day out of six. Tony Robbins tells a story at a specific day that his wife had some illness that she couldn’t manage with altitude. Every time the altitude changed, she started vomiting. Then he took her to this guru in India that inflicted some blessing on her head or something that it was the oneness. Then he said, “Now you are all going to experience that.” There were 3,000 people there maybe, and a lot of people came and started walking one by one and blessing us. At the end of that day, he did some meditation and I couldn’t stop crying. It never happened to me before. I don’t cry.

A belief is a sense of complete certainty of something even though you cannot prove it in any way. Click To Tweet

There was a break and I stayed and cried all the time. I said, “What is going on? Why am I crying for? I don’t even understand that.” Only after the seminar was over, I went back to Israel and went back to my normal life did I realize what happened. I lost my worst limiting belief ever, which was the need to prove to other people that I’m worthy. I don’t have any need of proving anyone anything. That changed my life completely because now I’m not working for my ego but I’m working for my destiny, for my purpose. I’m a servant, serving other people to fulfill their potential. It’s like there is this little monkey in your brain that keeps talking all the time for all of us. That monkey is quiet and has been so for the past three and a half years and that enabled me to prosper since then. That was very significant for me as well.

I have that need to prove myself to others. I would like to get rid of that monkey because I don’t like the way he talks to me. What would be your suggestion?

That’s a good question but it’s a pretty complicated answer. The need to prove something to other people says this, “I need other people to confirm who I am. They need to reassure that I am worthy.” That is called self-esteem. Every person has a certain self-esteem. That self-esteem is not the truth. It’s the way that we measure ourselves in comparison to other people. It’s like you’re walking and you see your shadow on the sidewalk, but we imagine that our shadow is shorter than other people’s. We think that other people may view me as a certain person or they might think of me as a certain person that is lacking something. It is impossible to convince anyone of being worthy. That’s why self-esteem is a part of our subconscious and we have to work on it. In order to understand when to change or how to change, I can explain how I work and that has been working for me and for my customers for a long time and thousands of people change like that. Are you familiar with NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming?

Yes, I practice it with my clients.

What you focus on amplifies.

 

I’ve dedicated my life to NLP. It says this, at any given point, you’re in a certain position towards your life. The first position means that you view your life through your own eyes. You feel your own feelings, use your own standards, feel what you feel. You live the world through the filter that is you. That is what most people do all the time. The second position is when I’m able to see reality through someone else’s eyes. For example, if we have a kid who fell and hurt his knee, we can feel his pain. It also happens when we watch a movie, for example. We know that we are not part of the movie. We know that we’re sitting in a theater or at home and we watch the movie, but we feel what the hero is feeling. We feel the anxiety, we feel the love. We feel the feelings that someone else is feeling. When you watch a horror movie, you know that no one’s going to kill you within the next hour and a half, but you feel as if it happens because we are in the movie. We see reality through someone else’s eyes.

The third position is where the key lies. This is where the magic happens. This is where the change happens. Before I explain what’s the third position, let’s explain what a belief is because we’re trying to remove, break or change limiting beliefs. A belief is a sense of complete certainty of something even though I cannot prove it in any way. You can take a belief in a higher power like God or you can take a belief about myself or about life. It’s a sense of complete certainty even though I don’t have any proof. We can change a belief once we realize that it’s not certain anymore. That is the exact point in which we can change beliefs. Limiting beliefs are no different. They are the exact same thing. We have beliefs because they were created in the past. They were created when we were kids or when we had very emotional experiences that we deduced something of that and that became a belief.

Once we understand what a belief is, now we can understand how to change a belief because self-esteem is a belief. We believe that we are something. It doesn’t mean that we are that thing, we just believe it and it’s a sense of certainty. The third position where the magic happens is that we are in the first position. We see life through our own eyes and then something happens. In real time, we are able to take ourselves off the first position and watch the situation from the side like a fly on the wall and say, “I’m sorry. This is not good for me. This behavior does not help me. This is something that I need to change, and this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to do it completely differently.” Then you go back to who you are but you do something else.

If you look at every turning point in your life that you said, “I’m going to do it,” it was the third position. How do you change a limiting belief and why does that change a limiting belief? Let’s assume that I have low self-esteem. I fear that I’m going to fail. I fear what other people are going to think of me. When I’m trying to do something and I’m in the first position and I said, “What are other people going to say if I post this on Facebook? They’re going to think that I’m stupid. No one’s going to come. Everybody is going to hate me.” If in real time you say, “This behavior is not effective. This behavior does not help in progress. It does not help me evolve and you act completely different.” You act in contradiction to this belief. You do something that your belief doesn’t want you to do but you do it conscientiously, then there is a very big crack in your belief. A crack is created. When you sell a car, all of a sudden you realize how many people are selling and buying cars. For example, pregnant women see pregnant women all around them. It’s not like those women appeared out of nowhere. They just pay attention now to a specific thing.

Don't let your inner belief system stop you. Click To Tweet

What you focus on amplifies.

There is this characteristic of our brain that when we focus on something, when we write it into our internal ways, it brings to our awareness, to our conscience opportunities around us. When you create a crack in a belief, that exact system is going to supply you with opportunities to prove that the belief is correct or incorrect because the sense of certainty vanished and now there is a question, that exact mechanism is going to supply you with a lot of opportunities to prove yourself right or to prove yourself wrong. When you keep doing it from the third position, consciously acting as the person you wish to be not as the person you are, then all of these cracks are created into limiting beliefs until it completely cracks and breaks. Then you can create something new. You can create something evolved and that is the way that you change limiting beliefs and self-esteem is one of them.

If you want to take this idea and move it into a real-life example, what can that be?

Let me give you an example, and this example is not something fictional. It’s something that happened. I had a customer. This woman is 50 years old and she came to me. She’s not a very successful business owner. She has those hair extension stores in malls all around. Some of them are losing money, some of them break even and some of them make very little money but she runs a lot of people. There is a lot of noise around her because all of these people and she’s not making any money. She came to me to consult and to coach her about running her business better. I started questioning her and then I realized something. She was late for the meeting. She said, “I don’t understand why I was late.” She lives 30 minutes away from me. She said, “I woke up three hours before the meeting and I was late. I don’t understand how that is possible.” I told her, “You woke up, you showered, you put on your makeup and then what?” She said, “I made a dough and put it in the bread maker at [6:00] AM.” I said, “Why did you do that?” and she said, “I can’t explain that.” Then I started questioning her and saw a pattern.

The part of your brain that enables you to break the limiting belief will provide you with more opportunities to create changes.

 

The pattern is that every time something good happens or is about to happen, she ruins it. She sabotages everything good. She’s in a relationship with someone who’s a complete loser. When I say complete loser, I mean you can work very hard and not find a bigger loser. Most of her employees are complete losers and she surrounded herself with a lot of losers. I started questioning her and we got to this point that you can see, and she saw that she sabotages everything. She said the word sabotage and started crying. She said, “I realize in the first time in my life, at 51 years old, that I’m sabotaging my success. How can we stop that?” I told her, “What do you feel when you’re about to succeed when something good happens?” She said, “I feel that I don’t deserve it,” and started crying her eyes out, meaning like we hit the spot.

Imagine this is a very limiting belief, “I don’t deserve success. I don’t deserve to feel good. I don’t deserve to be someone. That explains why I’m not worthy.” It’s ruining everything for her. Then she said, “Let’s ruin that. Let’s break that limiting belief. Let’s crush it.” It was created because she was her father’s favorite child. She was a girl. She has brothers and her father liked her but was rough on the brothers. During her childhood, he gave her presents, candies and money but he didn’t give them to her brothers. Every time she got something, she felt bad. After hundreds of times like that, she doesn’t want to feel bad when she gets something. That’s why “I’m not worthy” was created. It’s not relevant to changing it but what was relevant is that she was willing to let it go. Then I asked her this, “Is there an area in your life where you are worthy, you are good and you are successful?” She said, “I’m a very good mother.” She has two grown-up kids now but she’s still a very good mother and she’s a very good grandmother. She says, “I’ve been a very good mother all my life,” and I said, “Are you worthy of good kids?” She says, “No, my viewpoint is different. I’m giving, not receiving.” That’s why it happens. That’s the way she could enable herself to be a good mother. Her interpretation is that she’s giving, not receiving.

She gave herself a workaround her nasty belief system around not being worthy.

What we did next was, “Let’s compare those two women you have inside you, the mother and the other woman that you usually are. What’s the difference? Let describe those two.” She could see that she could be very empowered when she looked at the motherly type that she had in her. I said, “There is a chance. You know how to behave as if you’re worthy. We just need to make that happen. Do you know something who is worthy? Who, when you look at him, he’s a very strong and worthy person? Do you know someone personally?” She said, “Yes. I have a friend and his name is Jack. I know him. He’s a very good person and he feels as if he’s worthy. He’s very successful. He has very high standards.” I told her, “Let’s play a game. We play the game for an entire week. Every time you need to make a decision, even in the smallest of decisions like opening the fridge, instead of asking yourself, “What to do?” Ask yourself, “What would Jack do?” When you have the answer do it without thinking, because when you think, you go back to the first position. You need to be in the third position. Get out of yourself. Ask yourself what this guy would do and do it without thinking. Don’t let your inner belief system stop you. You have to document everything and send it to me every evening.”

Life isn't about waiting for the weekend and running away from your life. Life is the entire week. Click To Tweet

The first day she told me, “Nothing happened. I didn’t see any crossroad or any decision I had to make.” I told her, “You come across all those decisions on an hourly basis.” The day after she told me, “One of my employees wrote to me that she couldn’t be at work tomorrow and told me that I need to replace her.” She said, “I asked myself, ‘What would Jack do?’” Jack would tell her, “Go to hell. Find your own replacement. I’m not available at this spot.” She wrote back and everything was okay. This Jack friend of hers is very sure of himself and he would tell people who act like babies, “Go to hell,” and she wrote, “Go to hell, take care of yourself find a replacement. I’m not available.” This woman showed up eventually to work. Then she started understanding how to do things.

On the first day, she didn’t see any opportunity because we said that the part of your brain that enables you to break this limiting belief will provide you with more opportunities to create changes. Then she started seeing more opportunities and more opportunities. For example, her partner, who is many years older than her, told her she wanted to go to the beach. It was summer in Israel and it was very hot. He told her, “No, let’s not go to the beach. Let’s stay at home and watch a movie.” Then automatically, the Jack inside her said, “You don’t want to see a movie. You want to sit at the house and die from old age because you’re boring.” She told him, “I am sorry. I am going to the beach. You can do whatever you want. Life is fun. Life is a party and I’m going to enjoy them right now.” This guy stood there with his mouth completely open, “Where did this come from?” He was used to having this weak woman around him and then all of a sudden, she became someone else.

It has been about a week since we started the game and things were coming automatically. She went to the third position so many times that the limiting belief “I am not worthy” was chipped so badly that now she sees more opportunities. She fired four of her employees, closed one of the branches and moved another employee to one of her stronger branches in one of the malls. She’s making real changes in a very short time. That is how I operate. When you understand that in the third position you can make changes, you plan what you’re going to do and not overthink it, magic happens.

Usually, when I start on an interview, I go and ask people to introduce themselves. We dove in and it’s amazing. I want to share with people about your journey and what drove you to become a coach, a speaker, a writer, a motivational guru.

I’m not a guru. I’m far from being a guru. The guru needs followers. I don’t need followers. I don’t need to prove anyone of anything. I’m a servant, that’s what I am. I’m a first-born child. There is a saying here in Israel, “When you make pancakes, the first one always gets burned,” so that’s me.

Energetically, I had an interview with a lady and she told me that all the trauma goes to epigenetics and ancestry trauma, all the trauma goes into the firstborn.

It’s not exactly trauma. I have three kids of my own. You have high expectations for your kids. Let’s look at the pictures that you take when you have your first-born child. You take a picture of everything, his first full diaper, his first this and that, and you keep taking pictures of him. The third child, there are five pictures and she’s seven years old. No one still knows that she was born. You make all the mistakes on your first child and there are high expectations of a first child. Then there were expectations of me. I did everything that was expected of me. In Israel, it’s mandatory to go to the army. I was in an elite unit and served for five years. I was an exceptional soldier. Then I wanted to study geography and history, which interests me but my father, as a history teacher, told me, “Over my dead body you’re going to learn history. You will end up a teacher like me.”

Being able to create massive action and being very energetic has a lot to do with filling yourself up with energy and stop overthinking everything.

 

My parents voluntold me to be an engineer. The voluntold is a combination of volunteer and was told. I am an engineer and I have an MBA. I was everything that you can expect of a model child, but this is not what I wanted to do. I didn’t like it. I was very cynical and very unhappy with my life. If you looked at me from the side, you would think that I am the Israeli dream or the equivalent of the American dream. I was earning a lot of money. I worked for IBM. I was a COO of a startup company that was bought by IBM. I have a beautiful wife. Without being cliché, it’s a lot better than it was before because we are both at a better place mentally, personally and emotionally. I didn’t like my life even though I was pretty successful. I had a nice house. I had my car and a lot of money but I wasn’t happy. I don’t like using politically correct words. I was fat. I was about 40 pounds overweight and I didn’t like myself. I decided to run a marathon, 26 miles and I failed. I didn’t finish my first one but ten months later, I ran my second one and I lost all the weight. I became a marathon runner, which I still do. That journey started my self-development journey because I realized that life is more than what I thought life was.

Life wasn’t about waiting for the weekend and running away from your life. Life is the entire week. You have to enjoy what you do. You have to feel fulfilled. You have to use every power that was given to you. If you don’t do that, you cannot live with passion. I’m all about living with passion now. I started giving lectures about my experience as a fat guy who became a marathon runner. I did this for family and friends but then I started getting invites to give a lecture at the faculty meeting of the university and then this company and that company. People came to me after lectures and said, “We understand you run marathons. We’ve heard similar stories but how did you manage to keep doing that? What made you be able to keep running and keeping your weight down? How did you manage to keep going?” That was a very good question that I didn’t have an answer to, so I started to learn. I started learning how to coach and I started watching movies and read books.

All of a sudden, I understood that this is what I’m supposed to do. This is my true gift. I had a set of characteristics that all my life I asked myself, “What’s good about those? How am I telling a story going to help me in life? How is that that I speak to people and I know when they’re not focused? How is this going to help me because it didn’t help me one bit during my height of career?” I started coaching and I became better and better, but I understood that I will never be able to practice it as long as I’m working full-time. I took a leave of absence for a month, which I planned in advance to have a very full month and to see how it would look to be self-employed one day. I enjoyed this month immensely. It was very fulfilling. Then when the month ended, I said, “I’m not able to go back to work.” It was not like there was something wrong with my work, it’s just not for me. I want to do something else. I took a day off every week, meaning that I was 80% employed and took a pay cut. After a few months, I went to this Tony Robbins’ seminar, UPW, Unleash the Power Within. It was in 2012. He did this exercise that you could imagine how your future is going to be unless you change. He took us in this guided meditation twenty years into the future.

When you overthink something, you ruin everything for yourself. Click To Tweet

It’s called a Dickens Process.

I don’t want to use the term but you’re correct. It’s an NLP practice that I wasn’t familiar with then. Then I saw an image. I saw an image of myself reflecting in the screen of the computer in my IBM office. All my hair was white, and my face was very wrinkled. I looked old and beaten down. I looked at the person still sitting there twenty years from now in my IBM office and my heart broke. I was devastated. I said, “I’m never doing that. I’m not going to stay there no matter what happens. I want to say the F word because I said it a lot of times during that. I said, “I’m not going back to that. Sorry,” and then I came back home and resigned. That started a great journey, which was very hard at times.

I love how transparent you are about your journey because people who get successful, business people, successful coaches, successful experts, whomever, and they see the final product, they don’t see the sweat, blood and tears. They don’t see the late nights. They don’t see the disappointment. They don’t see the disapprovement from family and friends. They don’t see the hard work. I love your posts on how you were like, “I remember when I started.” Even in your lecture, Willpower of Steel, that I attended, that was phenomenal how you were sharing a funny story where you only had a couple in the audience and you had to invite your mom’s girlfriends who are in their 60s and they were saying all kinds of things like, “He looks so grown. Look at him.” I love how genuine you are and transparent with that. I want to talk about Willpower of Steel. What’s the main essence of this lecture and what are some lessons when it comes to willpower?

Most people look at willpower as our ability to force ourselves to do something. You want to watch your diet, so eat your salad instead of the Oreo cookie. This cannot last. This essence of willpower is like a battery that when you use it too much, you run out of it. I’m not referring to that willpower. My interpretation of willpower is the ability to create everlasting massive action in high energy when you’re filled with energy. If you live your life filled with high energy, you’re able to do everything. Willpower is the ability to be filled with energy and create action without overthinking. That is what I do. Overthinking is a very good ability. It’s the ability to find a problem for every solution. When you overthink something, you ruin everything for yourself, not you as in Orion but you, like every person. When we over think something, we create problems all the time for ourselves. Think about a very energetic person, someone that is filled with energy. We sense that it’s a frequency. Those people are very good looking. They look young. They look fit and it looks like everything’s easy for those people.

When you look at people that are lacking in energy, you can also sense that frequency. Everything is hard. Everything is dramatic. Everything is negative. You have those two edges and most people live in between, but there are very few people that are filled with energy. This is the energy of life, Prana. That happens only if you live your life with passion and you live your potential to the fullest. That is only possible if you don’t overthink about everything. Being able to create massive action and being very energetic has a lot to do with filling yourself up with energy and stop overthinking everything. This is what I do, and this is what I teach people. You can also interpret that into, “I help people change their self-esteem.” When you have high self-esteem, you’re unstoppable. If you have low self-esteem, then you’re very stoppable because we stop ourselves all the time. We put all those blocks in front of us because we overthink life, “How would I look? How would people think of me?” All those things.

When you have kids, help them strengthen their strengths, not strengthen their weaknesses because you’re only going to achieve mediocrity.

 

Something that you said in your lecture that I love and I love the way you said it, you said that our negative thoughts are like rocks that stop us in the way and most people spend their time staring at those rocks. We need to know that the only person that put those rocks in our way is us and we can remove them.

We put those rocks in front of ourselves. If I’m going to ask the people, “What is stopping you? What is your latest single, greatest dream? What is stopping you from getting there?” Most people would tell me, “I don’t have this and that. I don’t have money. I don’t have enough friends.” When you come to think of it, what stops us is fear. We put fear in our way. Everything is internal, providing that there is someone who achieved those things, meaning those things can be achieved so we stop our self. We put those huge boulders on our way and most people just stare at those. When you come and you face this rock, when you come to it and decide that you’re going to move it, you always find a way around it because we are the only ones who are stopping ourselves. People do spend all their life blaming the rock, blaming it for stopping them but they put it there. We did it maybe not intentionally, but we put it did there. If we put it there, we can remove it.

Remember that guru that Tony referred to at Oneness University? I was lucky and I went to Oneness University with a very specific VIP group. We had a private session with Sri Bhagavan and we’ve got Deeksha from the monks. I had out of body experiences in India. It was amazing. One of the things that the monks said was, “Let the tiger devour you.” It means that when you have those feelings of sadness, pain, anger or fear, it’s not about avoiding them and shoving it under the rug. The difference between courageous people or people who have fears is that the people that are courageous felt the fear and they did it anyway. When they say let the tiger devour you, they say feel it to the fullest and be present with the fear. Don’t stay there. Just like the Indian say, “Don’t stay there for more than maybe ten minutes.” It is all about feeling it and then dealing with it. I like your metaphor about the rocks. Do you still have rocks in your life?

We always have rocks. When you evolve, when you become better and better, there is no road that is meant to you that you’re supposed to walk in. There are rocks on the road. We make our way. We see the next hilltop, the next mountain peak and we decide to go there. There is no paved road. We go there and there are always rocks. I discovered a very huge rock and I’m dealing with it doing exactly what I explained. I see that I’m creating a lot of cracks in that rock, but we always see our self as there is a glass ceiling above us. Our job is to keep breaking those glasses and keep going up, up and up because our potential is endless. If you think you can do something and you achieve it, then you want more. This is very characteristic.

If we live life with excitement, desire, and passion, then our life will be great and happy. Click To Tweet

When we get something, we want more. There is an expiration date on something new. When you buy a new car and you take off those plastic covers, you have this new car smell and you feel great. After a month or two months, it’s not new anymore. You think about the new car that you want. It’s not about the property but it’s about who you want to be, who you want to become, and where you want to see yourself. This is one of my problems in creating a new vision board because most of the things that I want are not tangible. They are feelings. They are related to being, not to tangible things like a car or climbing the Kilimanjaro. They are feeling-related. They are experience-related. I want to feel more present. I want to be at a higher level of meditation when I practice it so I’m having a hard time creating a vision board for that.

I’ll give you a suggestion. You can create an emotional vision board and you can put images of people that you admire or monks that are in a super higher vibration or Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, or images of those type of leaders and states that evoke this emotion when you see in the photo and you can create an emotional vision board.

I like what you suggested. I tried it in the past, but my intuition said that it wasn’t spot on and you want to be spot on. I went to this lecture and a monk came to Israel. I live in a very spiritual place in Israel. This is a small place that is the center of spiritual studies in Israel and there is a very big community that practices Buddhism, meditations and so on. There is a joke here that you can knock on every door and find a meditation session being held everywhere. I went to this lecture and there was this monk, someone who was very high-ranking in Buddhism. When he spoke, he spoke words of wisdom. He was very religious. I’m not a religious person, I’m connected to frequency, which I’m having a hard time explaining what that exactly means. The religious aspect of it, I didn’t feel connected. I’m waiting for the right person to pop up for that, but this is the next stage for me.

What are your three top tips to living a stellar life?

All of us are born with certain characteristics, certain things that we are very good at, that come naturally for us. We don’t have to put effort into stuff. For example, I have a child. My eldest child, he’s very good with people. Put him in the middle of a village somewhere that he doesn’t speak the language and within 24 hours, he’s the head of the village. He’s going to be everyone’s best friends and knows all their names. He’s very good with people. Let him try and do math homework, that’s not going to happen. We are born with things that we are very good at and things that we are not very good at. We, as parents, always try to help our kids be better in the places that we are weak. For example, I would help him and find a tutor for him in math. When he succeeds, he will be mediocre. He will never be great at math but let him speak to other people, he’s great as a thirteen-year-old.

We have strengths, we have certain characteristics that we are very good at. When you have kids, help them strengthen their strengths, not strengthen their weaknesses because you’re only going to achieve mediocracy. As for you grownups who are reading, those strengths when we handle and we try to strengthen those abilities within us, we are building up towards our desire. We have desires, things we like to do, things we feel desire for. Those things are like signs to where we need to go in life.

If we live life with excitement, desire and passion, then our life will be great and we’ll be happy. Don’t neglect those passions. Don’t go to the places that you’re weak at. Go to the places that you’re strong are. Go towards your passions, towards the things that you like, the things that make you feel excited, the things that make you feel alive. There is a poet called Rumi. Rumi said, “Don’t get lost inside your thoughts because thoughts are like a veil on the face of the moon. This moon is your heart and those thoughts cover your heart, so release them. Go with the flow towards your passions in your heart.” I believe that if we flow towards our passions in life, then things will work our way and there is no other option.

You have a new book coming up and it’s going to be translated into English as well. If people want to contact you and reach you, where can they find you?

I have a lot of things happening for me now, like our economist in Israel, it’s called the Marker. They’re going to have their monthly issue in which they voted me as one of the five most promising businesspeople for the next year. This is very exciting. Unfortunately, it’s in Hebrew. I have a very good website, a very good blog and I make all those great movies in Hebrew. That is not going to help you in any way. However first, I have a book coming up. It’s called Eight Days. It’s a book about self-development. It’s a book about what I was talking about, but it has a plot. It’s not like I’m explaining things, it’s a story. One of my strengths is telling a story so this is an actual story. I read the book during editing a couple of times and I cried every time. It’s a very good book. It’s a story that takes place over eight days and it’s coming out in English. I will also give my direct email if any of your audience has any questions or anything that they want to ask me, feel free. My email is Eli@nullHergelim.com. Also in 2019, probably between March and April, I’m going to have an American tour of lectures that is in session right now. I don’t have anything solid to give you right now but I’m going to be in the East Coast in LA, so stay tuned. If you’re interested, you can email me and I will let you know when I’m there.

Definitely, you have to participate. If you’re in the East Coast, West Coast of the US, follow him, send him an email and contact him because he is a brilliant speaker. He will inspire you and ignite the fire under your butt. Eli, thank you so much. I appreciate you.

Thank you very much, Orion. I had a very good time.

 

 

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

✓ Be specific with your intentions. Knowing what you truly want aligns your energy and vibration that helps you find opportunities that you didn’t even know exist.
✓ Be aware of your frequency. Remember that the kind of energy that flows through you is sensed by other people and attracts the same type of people.
✓ Discover the benefits of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and find ways on how you can practice it daily.
✓ Challenge your limiting beliefs. Your mind is a powerful organ that can direct you to your destiny.
✓ Live your passion. Don’t get stuck in the corner waiting for things to change but use the time and energy you have to make it happen.
✓ Visualize your future self. Years from now, can you confidently say that you’ve lived your life with no regrets?
✓ Realize that willpower is the ability to be filled with energy and create action without overthinking.
✓ Stop overthinking about everything. If you’re constantly worried about other people’s perception of you, you’ll never reach your highest potential.
✓ Dismiss your negative thoughts and confront your fears. Oftentimes, the only person stopping you is yourself.
✓ Accept and embrace your uniqueness. You are born with natural gifts that you can strengthen to help yourself and other people.

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About Eli Shahaf

Eli Shahaf is a Life and Business Coach, specializing in achieving long-term results. CEO and Founder of WINNER’S HABITS LTD. He is 45, married to Mary and father of Omri, Tomer, and Mika. After a long career in the hi-tech industry, Eli lost 50 lbs of weight he was carrying all his life. Eli is a certified Personal Trainer, Master of NLP, Consultant, and Lecturer.

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