Episode 56 | March 21, 2017

Express Your True Essence with Karen Hoyos

A Personal Note from Orion

“To be or not to be, that is the question”…but who exactly are we supposed to be?

Society has plenty of labels which they like to impose on each of us – woman, mother, single, spiritual, divorced, etc. etc. Contrary to what you may think, these labels hinder our ability be our truest selves, as opposed to helping us figure out who we are.

Living in our true essence is important for our happiness and ability to live a fulfilled life, and leave behind a legacy. The amazing Karen Hoyos has helped thousands of people, from leaders to your everyday human, discover who they really are so that they can live at their highest potential. Tune in to begin your self-discovery – you may even find there are multiple versions of yourself, including a pesky alter ego!



In this Episode

  • [03:13] – Karen starts things off by telling us a bit about herself and what she does.
  • [04:26] – What is the ego? Karen explains that it’s our false identity.
  • [06:44] – Karen discusses why it’s limiting to describe ourselves as the labels of the mind.
  • [08:35] – When was the first time that Karen felt she was pure possibility?
  • [11:31] – In response to Karen’s tale of domestic violence, Orion shares her own experience with the subject.
  • [13:06] – The gift of awakening comes to us in many different forms. Karen explains what she means, then talks about her experience with Landmark.
  • [16:54] – Karen clarifies what she means about taking responsibility.
  • [19:20] – We learn about two different methods of experiencing sadness: fully experiencing the emotion (as Orion has just mentioned), or observing the difference between the ego and the essence.
  • [22:56] – Karen talks about spirituality having the potential to be a mask for the ego.
  • [26:30] – What does being a woman mean to Karen?
  • [27:41] – How can we get over the feeling of not being enough?
  • [29:45] – Karen talks to us about Carmen, her ego. She explains how she discovered the name of her ego, and discusses her conversations with God.
  • [34:44] – We learn more about how Karen integrates Carmen into her everyday life, and how she reacts when Carmen shows up unexpectedly or uninvited.
  • [37:17] – What are Karen’s daily practices? Her answers include gratitude, purpose, and being fully present.
  • [41:44] – Karen explains that about 1% of the population is living according to our own purpose.
  • [43:41] – What are some of the particular challenges of leaders and coaches?
  • [47:11] – Orion takes a moment to share how much she loves this conversation. She then talks about her experiences in moving to the United States after living in Israel and Japan.
  • [50:17] – The danger of personal growth when we’re not fully present is that we might try to “fix” (rather than discover and reveal) who we are.
  • [52:15] – Karen talks about the connection between money and spirituality. She goes into depth about her personal experience with making money while following her purpose, and talks about the experiences of others as well.
  • [59:32] – What are Karen’s three tips to living a stellar life? 1. Always be present to the perfection of what you’re living. 2. Live your purpose, no matter what your ego says. 3. Learn from people who have what you want to have.

About Today’s Show

‏‏Hello and welcome to Stellar Life Podcast. I’m your host, Orion, founder of Orion’s Method. My guest today is a beautiful soul. She’s beautiful from the inside out. She’s a global transformational leader, celebrity coach, speaker and bestselling author. She moved to the United States from Colombia with her suitcase full of dreams and her belly filled with her twin babies. After a painful divorce, she was determined to create a successful, happy life for herself and her family, but had no idea how to do so. Shortly after arriving to the USA, within just 10 months, she was able to reach over 40 million people with her message of transformation. She has dedicated herself to empowering people to find, live, and share their life’s purpose. In this episode, you will learn how to separate yourself from your ego, how to make your ego your friend, and express your true self, express your essence, allow yourself to be seen, playful out, and make a lot of money while doing it. I hope you will enjoy this episode as much as I did. She is just a trailblazer and a ball of fire. Now, onto the show. Hello Karen and welcome to Stellar Life Podcast. How are you doing?

‏‏I’m excellent, my dear Orion. Thank you so much for having me with you. I can’t wait. This is exciting. I’m so happy to be with you.

‏‏I can’t wait because I know that after listening to you for the duration of the show, I’m going to be so inspired. It’s going to make my day for sure. I’m doing this interview for me, okay?

‏‏Great, great deal.

‏‏Let’s start by you sharing a little bit about yourself. Who are you? What do you do? I know who are you is a big question that we can get into later but on the basic social level.

‏‏Excellent, my dear. Thank you so much for asking. I’m a transformational coach, international speaker and a facilitator for transformation. I have been doing this for over 10 years with more than 26,000 graduates of my seminars in this decade. I’m very excited about travelling around the world and sharing a message of inspiration, purpose, transformation for people from all backgrounds and all different beliefs. I am originally from Colombia. That’s where my accent comes from. I have been living in New York, United States, in the big apple for now about 14 years. I’m a mother of twin boys. I’m happy and excited to be here with you and always ready to share our message with the audience that is ready to transform their life.

‏‏Amazing. I lived in New York for a decade myself. I love New York.

‏‏Yes. Who doesn’t, right? New York is magical. It’s a powerful city and a great place to grow. It’s a very special place to be.

‏‏It’s very energetic like you. I want to start with talking a little bit about the ego. What is the ego?

‏‏Excellent. I love that topic because during our trainings and coaching sessions, the first thing I do is to really bring people present of who they really are. The ego is the opposite of who we really are. It’s what we call our false self. There’s a great book about this called A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle or The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. He has a great way to share and explain to people what in fact our ego is. A lot of people think that the ego is a person who is arrogant or thinks he’s better than others, but it’s not really that. The ego is who we think we are in our mind. It’s our false identity. It’s that part of us that is designed to keep us apart, to keep us separate. It’s also designed to keep us “safe” in our comfort zone because if we think we are a certain way, we’re never open to who we really are in our essence and it doesn’t allow us to connect with other people. Who we are, it’s God in essence. Who we are is the vibration of love that is within every one of us. Within our inner self, we are all the same. We are one but we forget that in our mind. Our ego tells us that we are our past, or what we have in the present, or our experience and our beliefs. All of that is very valuable but it’s not who we really are. The ego is there to remind us, actually as a tool, who we really are because every time we understand that we’re not being our ego, that we’re not it, we have access to be present who we really are in essence, which is God.

Every time we understand that we’re not being our ego, that we’re not it, we have access to be present who we really are in essence, which is God. Click To Tweet

‏‏The moment we start to characterize ourselves or others, we are locking the possibilities because if we are x and y and that’s it, then we cannot be anything else.


‏‏Our internal conversation with ourselves, and the way we see ourselves, and the way we see others, and the moment we see ourselves and others as pure possibilities, then we have pure possibilities.

‏‏Exactly. It’s very limiting to describe our self as labels of the mind. The moment we said we are this, we are not that, we are limiting our self to the impact that we can do and create in this planet. When we recognize that we are God in essence, that we have no limitations in essence, that we are all one in essence, and then we can choose our labels. I can choose the label of coach, speaker, mother, woman, but they don’t define me. I choose them to play in this wonderful world, to play in this illusion like Hinduism call it, Maya. We can have an experience of being human in this planet without getting lost in that experience.

‏‏It’s about I experienced anger, or I experienced resentment, or I experienced this in comparison to I am angry, I am resentful. The word experience and seeing it from a place of the observer will allow a space, will allow, again, the space of possibility.


‏‏When was the first time you felt you were pure possibility?

‏‏I believe that in our life we have a glimpse of being fully present without even understanding that that is what is happening. In my experiences of being present, I had them since I was very little, I used to connect with God in many different ways, connect with nature and have this sense of knowingness that everything is okay. It’s like knowingness that no matter what happens, God is within me, God is with me. That was an experience. It didn’t have any meaning in my mind. I was just fully experiencing that glimpse of certain moments. When I found my purpose after almost dying, because I experienced domestic violence before I awakened to my purpose, when I was there with a gun pointing to my head, I remember also being fully present with God and asking for an opportunity to leave. At that moment, it was another experience of being present. At that moment, when I knew that I could die, that was another experience of that pure love to connection to God and faith and knowingness that if he was going to keep me alive here, it was for a purpose. If I was already living, that was for a purpose too. Even though it was a very dark moment for the mind, it was a pure moment of presence. After that, I start studying and understanding, reflecting, learning from masters, started meditating and started exploring really not only the knowledge of being present and the knowledge of essence and possibility but also understanding in the awareness of my life through meditation, through connection, through actions, and through changing my own habits, in my own way of living. I start cleaning my life, taking full responsibility for it, connecting to the people around me. I start to see people, see beyond what my mind was telling me to see and really experience being alive. All of that allowed me to have a different experience of life, allowed me to connect to myself in a different way. Not to the ego self but to the essence self. And then through seminars and coaching, every time I coach, I speak, now I just welcome God. I said, “God, you speak through me. You act through me. You think through me.” At that moment, boom there is essence, there is presence, there is possibility. It becomes now more often. When I forget, because sometimes I go into my ego and I forget, I have many tools that I teach that allow people to come back to that present moment and continue serving because only when we are fully present, we can really serve.

‏‏That’s beautiful. I cannot imagine a moment where somebody is pointing a gun to my head. I, myself, experienced domestic violence and I ended up in a hospital bed after being in an abusive relationship. That, for me, is interesting, I did not feel it. It wasn’t like, “Oh, God. I’m surrendering to you.” I wish I had that beautiful moment but for me it was a sequence of moments. Actually, I think a period of two years of me trying to mend the broken pieces and find really who I am and going on. I was always into self development. When I was young, my mom gave me a book, You Can Heal Your Life and The Power of Your Subconscious Mind which are two books that really influenced my life. Until that happened, I was not able to really seek or had the desire to seek who I am, what is life, what is possible, and what can I do to lift myself up. It was my greatest gift. Looking back, my greatest gift, what brought me to be a coach, what brought me to be able to relate to people on a different level, it’s like a gift with a bow and a bottom where only years later you can see that it’s a gift and you could open it. How did that moment of pure God, of pure surrender, shift your life after that?

‏‏It is also important, my dear, to recognize that the gift of awakening comes to us in different ways. People will receive it in many different forms. There is not a way to awake. Many people will awake through suffering, through pain. Other people will awake through joy, through understanding of the love and light that surround us. It’s different for each person. Part of my work today is to help people evolve without suffering. Before, I didn’t know I had an option not to suffer. That evolution was through pain. That’s what I read that it is through pain that we can be closer to God. That it is through suffering that we can awaken. I understood that that is a way too to recognize, to be aware, but it is not the only way. We can choose to evolve through consciousness and that happens when we are 100% responsible for everything that happens to us. An education that made a big difference in my life, 12 years ago, when I was starting this journey, it’s called Landmark Education.

We can choose to evolve through consciousness and that happens when we are 100% responsible for everything that happens to us.

‏‏I studied Landmark too.

‏‏It was great. I remember at that moment it was the first that I heard about being responsible, taking responsibility for my life because before I was like a victim. They did this to me. I have to forgive them because they did this. It was all like the spiritual ego thinking that I have to forgive somebody else because they did something to me. When I learned about responsibility, with the years and other practice of meditation, self observing, awareness, congruency, cleaning up, all of those things allowed me to understand that the more responsible and more present I am, that everything that I have created is part of the plan for my awakening and for my evolution, the more tools I had to evolve without suffering not get caught in the illusion of ego because it is very easy for us to get lost in the mind, especially when we are so busy in social media, in our phones and everything that is happening. It’s always so much stimulation for the mind that we can get lost in that world. The more responsible we are and the more that we understand that everything that happens in our life is our own creation and that we can choose to awaken and to evolve in a conscious way is easier. The experience of God versus the knowledge of God like, I believe in God versus I experienced God, two things that are totally different. I have met people, even pastors, that even dedicate their life in churches to guide people that their experience of God is one of separation. I believe that once we are present, that nobody is punishing us, nobody is doing anything to us, we are co creating our destiny. We are evolving either consciously or unconsciously and we have the power to share this experience with the world. We have the power to transform the experience from one of suffering to one of love. At that moment, we realize that oh wow, God is within me. I am God, There is nothing separated from me. I am one with everything. Now, let me have fun and create something different in my life today so that way I can help other people through my purpose as well.

‏‏That’s beautiful. What is your definition of responsibility? What responsibility is and what is it not?

‏‏What I mean by being responsible, taking responsibility, is owning 100% everything that happened in my life as something that I created, I manifested, understanding that there is nobody out there doing anything to me. If something happened that I like or I didn’t like, I created that consciously or unconsciously. Maybe I wasn’t aware that I was creating that but it doesn’t mean that I’m not responsible, that I don’t own those results. The moment that I own everything that happened in my life, everything, every single piece, that moment I am free to change. If I am not responsible, if I don’t own that I created these results, then I become a victim of my circumstances, and I’m not free to change them. Actually, what I do is duplicate that , perpetuate those circumstances because that means that I’m resisting the gift, that I’m not receiving the lesson that I am manifesting through the experience. The moment I say, “Oh, this happened. Okay. I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t looking for this result but I did that. Unconsciously or consciously, I did that. Okay God, show me what is the lesson, what is the gift I received and I don’t resist it. I don’t blame. I don’t make other people wrong. I don’t make myself wrong. I don’t feel guilt. I don’t judge other people. I get it. I own this as a gift. Let me look for the lesson. Let me look for what I can take from and then, release and move forward.” Because the moment that I resist that what is happening shouldn’t be happening, shouldn’t be in my life, that this person shouldn’t be doing this, the moment I reject what is so, I will continue perpetuating more of that until I surrender to the gift.

‏‏Have everything that you have. It’s about accepting where you are. It’s about allowing whatever is to be. When you allow it, you can get over it because the only way to reach your goals is through your emotions, through the pain. It’s about experiencing your emotions to the fullest. Not allowing them to rule your life but allow yourself to experience them and then you can be free from them.

‏‏Sure. It is one way, Orion, to do that. It is one way to say, “Okay, I’m going to fully experience sadness. I’m going to fully experience suffering. I’m going to fully experience pain.” That is one way. There is another way and say, “Okay, I’m observing. I have this emotions of sadness because my mind is giving a meaning to what is happening.” We don’t just get sad. There is something that the mind is giving as a meaning to an experience, to something, whatever it is. The mind is saying x, y, and z that’s why you have to be sad. And then, you start being sad. At that moment, you can say, “Okay, I’m going to fully experience the sadness of my mind.” Or stop for a moment and say, “Wait, where is that sadness coming from? Is it coming from my essence? Is it coming from my mind? What is the meaning that my mind is giving to what that allowed me to experience this sadness? I’m not choosing sadness.” Or maybe, “Okay, I got it. I was sad. I was unconscious. I get it. Now, I’m going to give a different meaning to this thing.” Somebody did something that you didn’t like. Somebody said something that you didn’t like, whatever. Something happened. And then, if you can say, “Okay, I choose to give a different meaning to this. For that, I need support around me. That’s why it’s important to be surrounded by people that lift you up, that listens to your greatness, that they won’t get lost in sadness with you because many people think that loving someone is suffering with them. No, it’s actually all the opposite. It’s the meaning of being there for that person and remind them who they really are. That’s why I have around me when my ego wants to take over for whatever reason. And then, I start listening to my ego. I start changing my energy. I lower my vibration because I’m listening to what my mind is saying. I have my mother who’s a life coach. I have friends that I have. Even my kids, they remind me, “Hey, mommy, go out of your ego. You’re being unconscious. You’re not being you.” And then, Oh my God, yes let’s do this. Let’s get out of this. And then, I, myself, I decided, I chose a long time ago, not to dwell in that sadness. It’s like when you fall down and then there is mud there and then you’re like, “Oh, in the mud, more time.” Okay, no. You fall down, fine. Now, get up. Clean and move forward. How long you stay in the ground with the mud is your choice. I teach it’s okay if you fall down, it’s okay if you are in the mud, it’s okay. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, or falling down, or feeling that way. How long are you going to be there? How long does it take you to get up, clean and move? That is a matter of your choice and that is a matter of the tools that you apply to really get over that because the ego loves to be sad. The ego love to suffer and even the spiritual ego, many people in spiritual and personal development, they use tools for personal development to stay there as long as possible with the excuse of I’m just living the process.

‏‏Can you talk more about that? How spirituality can be a mask of the ego.

‏‏Totally. I call it the spiritual ego. When we use a tool to judge other people because they’re not waking up, because they’re not as conscious enough when we’re using tools to stay unconscious in honor of our process because we’re processing, I’m honouring my space, all of those nice things that we say just to keep the spiritual ego. It’s very dangerous when we have tools in personal growth because the ego gets more clever. It’s easy for us to believe the nonsense of the ego that now is speaking in spiritual terms. That’s why it’s important to have people around us that won’t take our caca. They will put perfume in caca but the ones that will say like, “You know what, you’re full of it. Get off it. Boom, let’s do it. Clean it up. Let’s move forward.” I prefer that. I want that in my life instead of like, “Everybody move together, holding hands.” No, forget it.

‏‏I’ve been through enough seminars to see that happening over and over again. I think this is the trick of the ego. The more involved you are, the more spiritual you are, it will sneak up on you. It will take the back door and it will use the thing that you’re proud of the most like spirituality and manifest unpleasant things through that. When [00:22:52] was telling a story about people coming to a lecture that he did in the church, everybody were wearing white and looking very spiritual. On the steps of the church, there was a homeless person lying down. All those spiritual people, as they were entering the church, were stepping over him. It’s an oxymoron. One hand, you’re spiritual, then the other hand, you step over the homeless person as you enter your place of worship.

‏‏Exactly. That’s why we have to be very aware, very present that the more tools we have, the more tools the ego will have also to stay in place. We have a new label, the label of spiritual person. It’s easy especially when we make changes that we know can help us, they can be the same reasons we judge other people that they are not living it. They’re not doing it. For example for me, I remember when I became vegan, I did it for compassion, for my health, for the animals, for the world. It’s great. But then, my ego used it in the beginning to judge other people why they weren’t. There is so much of that. For people that have religion, “My religion is better than yours.” People that are single versus the ones that are married, people that have kids, people that don’t have kids. Women, today, we celebrate international women’s day. Congratulations love. Some women will be like, “You should be a mom.” To be independent, you cannot be a mom. Why? If you want to be a real woman, you have to be independent. Why? All of these labels and definition of how we’re supposed to be and how we’re supposed to live our life in order to be x, y, and z, all of that is nonsense of our ego.

‏‏What does being a woman mean to you?

‏‏For me, just being who we are. Just being fully who we choose to be. A woman is the gift of God, we are the blessing for this world. Same as the men are blessing for this world. We’re equally important not because oh, I want to be a feminine so be equal. No, just because we are. There is no need for us to fight to be equal because we already are. I think the women just have to realize that themselves and just be themselves, be fully us with the beauty of our feminine side. The darkness of our masculine side sometimes wants to control the men of this planet for them to do whatever we want. Sometimes we go crazy in our ego like that and just fully honor who we are. We are a blessing. That’s what we are.

There is no need for us to fight to be equal because we already are. Women just have to realize that themselves and just be themselves, be fully us with the beauty of our feminine side. Click To Tweet

‏‏That’s beautiful. How do we get over I’m not enough, I can never be enough, I can never reach the places that I want to reach or who am I to want my dreams?

‏‏First of all, to recognize that you will never get over that in your mind. For your ego, you will never be enough. Don’t try to convince your ego that you’re enough. For my ego, I’m never enough. For my ego, I’m not enough coach, I’m not enough speaker, I’m not enough woman, I’m not enough whatever. I’m never enough for my ego. For many years, I tried to changed that. I tried to convince my ego and the only thing it gets stronger. That’s what happens. Many people go to personal development seminars trying to change their ego now become more confident. Now, I’m going to love myself. They get off of a one week retreat happy and then the next day they’re feeling like poo poo because the ego again is like, “Whoa, one week. So what? You’re worthless.” And then they feel bad. I just paid $10,000 for a retreat in the mountains of the Himalayas, whatever. What’s going on? Why am I still having these thoughts? I’m supposed to be a new person. Look, your ego will never change. If anything, it’s going to get stronger. More things you do, your ego is going to get more reasons why you’re not enough. Just let it be. Let your ego be insecure. Let your ego be feeling not enough. Let your ego be arrogant, controlling. Whatever your ego is, let it be the way it is. Once you accept that that’s how your ego is, and then you can really choose who you really are. In your essence, you’re already it. In your essence, you’re already enough. Why? Because you’re God and God is everything. God is enough. In your essence, you’re already happy. You don’t need to make yourself happy. You’re already happy in your essence. Once you accept that that’s your ego is and that’s not who you really are, who you are is what you already have, the happiness within you, the beauty within you, the health within you, you don’t have to get anywhere. You just choose to realize that you’re already there.

‏‏Let’s talk about Carmen. Who is she?

‏‏Carmen is the name of my ego. She’s wonderful. For many years, she was the one to run my life so the moment I discovered her, I discovered that I had my ego and then I channel the tool to name my ego. I didn’t really learn that in a seminar. I was having a conversation with God. I have conversations with God. “Hey God, what’s going on? Why do I have a crazy ego? What is the point of having an ego?” I asked one time and God replied to me, “Well, because once you recognize that you’re not your ego and then you can remember who you really are. Every time you recognize who you’re not, you can remember who you are.” He said, “You can also name your ego. Find a way to have a relationship with your ego because I always learn that you have to reject your ego, all of that.”

‏‏Destroy it. Bomb it.

‏‏Exactly. That’s why I said, “Okay, let’s channel what is the name of the ego.” I closed my eyes and I asked God, “God, what is the name of my ego?” He said, “Carmen.” Carmen arrived like tadaa! I’m like, “Oh, hello Carmen.” Carmen is the one who loves the light, the attention, the red carpet. It’s all about her. She’s controlling. She’s always right. Instead of rejecting Carmen, I used her for good. When I go to the red carpet, when I go in Hollywood, the Grammy’s and I take pictures, I know it’s Carmen in her full bloom and I let her be. I let her be in front of cameras. Now, I’m not driven by Carmen. I’m using her to open the door for other people. When I go to Hollywood, instead of being there just because hey look at me I’m here in the red carpet, I’m there to share a message, I’m there to coach influential celebrities. I’m there to bring consciousness while Carmen is having fun taking pictures. Everybody wins.

‏‏That’s beautiful. So many celebrities have an alter ego. It will help them when they go on stage because in order to be on stage and be in front of thousands and thousands of people and being so exposed and in their pure expression, their pure sexual expression, they have to be somebody else. They have to separate themselves from that part of them.

‏‏Exactly. We know, for example, Beyonce. Her ego name is Sasha. When she goes on stage, it’s Sasha that’s doing the show. That’s why she does such a freaking great job, because she fully owns Sasha. She doesn’t feel bad that Sasha is sexual or sensual and feminine and all that and the queen bee. She doesn’t feel guilty that she feels she’s the best of the world. That’s what she is. That’s why she is fully there. That’s what most people don’t understand, that we don’t have to reject our ego. Let’s honor the ego and let’s be present that that’s not who we are, that that’s a part that we can choose to be, to have fun, to try to be the best in what we’re doing without losing the presence of the gift of who we really are. That’s how we can have fun. That’s why I don’t reject abundance, I don’t reject luxury. It doesn’t make us less or more spiritual if we are meditating in a Ferrari versus meditating in a cave. There is no difference.

‏‏That’s such a cool renewal.

‏‏Yes, exactly. Let’s have fun with whatever experience we’re having and this beautiful illusion of ego and choose every illusion as a way to evolve and to serve. That way, we become less attached to things, less attached to people, and more aware and more free. It’s like oh my god, so many people, they go into this spiritual path and they become serious. Now, they don’t laugh. Oh, for God’s sake, loosen up. The fact that you’re spiritual, you don’t have to be boring. Being spiritual means honouring your inner child, being playful, being who you are in every form, every way. That is their key.

‏‏I love that. It seems like what you’re doing, that’s my hallucination, is that there’s a separation of you and Carmen. It states also an integration of you and Carmen because when you’re on the red carpet, you let Carmen play while you still have the intention of helping, coaching, giving, sharing. How do you integrate her into your life? How do you channel that personality for good?

‏‏It’s great because now I’m aware that she has evolved, to help me evolve. Carmen is no longer my enemy. My ego is no longer my enemy because I have fully accepted Carmen. I can choose to see whenever she needs to be in place in order for me to do something. I know that when I’m going to cameras, when I’m going to do a photoshoot, when I be in the cover of a magazine, all of that, she’s there. She’s there and she’s happy because she now has a place in my life. She is not crying for attention. She lets me be when I’m in essence when I am doing coaching or training. Now, she doesn’t come because she has a place in my life. Because I have given her a place in my life, she has enough food. I give her that when I’m meeting someone. I’m single. I’m open for love. I know that she plays there to the feminine. She likes the attention of the gentlemen who is pursuing me so I let her be. Carmen has a piece of her that I call Vanessa, which is the feminine essence of me. She’s fully playing. She’s there. Sometimes, when there is something important, when there is something new in my life, when there is someone who I really care about, sometimes she comes in unexpected and uninvited because she is still Carmen, she will do that. Ego will still come unexpectedly especially when we are experiencing something new, something that really matters to us. At that moment, instead of being mad at her like, “Hey, what are you doing here? You have a place. I already did a photoshoot yesterday. Why are you here today?” All of that, instead of being mad, I’m like, “Oh, thank you, love. Thank you for being here. Thank you for reminding me that this is important. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for reminding me that I am present, that I am love, that I am abundance.” When she comes unexpectedly to say something unexpected, to say something negative, I just receive it with compassion and I honor her as a reminder of who I really am. That’s the relationship I have with her.

Ego will still come unexpectedly especially when we are experiencing something new, something that really matters to us.

‏‏Wow. What are your daily practices to create that awareness in your life?

‏‏Number one practice is one that we hear a lot. I think that for me is the key, is gratitude. When I get up, I’m present of everything that is a blessing in my life. Sometimes, I would go over the list. Sometimes, I will just have the experience of being grateful. I’m always present of that. I’m like, “Whoa, what a blessing in my life. I have my kids today. I’m strong. I have health.” I’m grateful for my challenges too. When I have challenges that are difficult in my life, I’m like, “Okay God, I’m present of the gift.” I know he’s there. I don’t see it with my eyes and I know it’s coming. I’m grateful for the challenges. I’m grateful for what you’re teaching me. Gratitude for me is essential. It’s like breathing. It’s like oxygen. If I’m feeling low, it’s that I forgot to be grateful for something. I say the gratitude is the antidote to depression. When I’m feeling low in any way, I always go back to gratitude. The second is purpose. living my purpose in every single way that I can. Sometimes that means doing coaching, seminars. Sometimes that means cleaning my own poopoo, doing coaching for me. Being present when I’m not being congruent. Sometimes that means being present with my kids, with my phone off to the side because that means that I’m being fully present. What I’m doing is I’m creating my life everyday represents that I’m living my purpose. I’m doing this for my purpose. Everything that I do or I don’t do will support my evolution and my purpose. Those two things allow me to have high vibration no matter what I do and of course, just having fun. I do take care of my body. I exercise at least five times a week. I dance zumba. I do any other type of exercise.

‏‏I saw a zumba video on Facebook. You’re pretty good. You’re very good. I used to be a zumba instructor in the previous life.

‏‏Oh my God, that’s so great.

‏‏Maybe 12 years ago. I studied how to be an instructor and I taught a few classes.

‏‏That’s so nice. I love dancing.

‏‏I love dancing.

‏‏I do take care of my body. As a vegan, I take care of my health. I don’t drink alcohol. I don’t do drugs. I also take time to nurture my body as my temple. I really see the difference. I really see the difference in the energy that I have everyday thanks to taking care of my body as well.

‏‏Taking care of your body is a spiritual practice for sure.

‏‏Yes. 100%.

‏‏If you want to be there powerful for yourself and others, you cannot neglect your body. That’s the vessel that you live your life in.

‏‏Exactly. That’s how it is for me. I always look into the most important areas like spirituality, health, relationships, and financials like money. Everyday, I’m doing something to improve those areas. If I have an financial challenges or if I have any health challenge with my energy or maybe in relationships with either men or my team members or my family so, I’m always looking to every area of my life being a reflection of my purpose. There is not a day that I say, “Whoa, this is only happening here but the world doesn’t need to know.” No, it’s like, “Okay, this is here. Let me expose let me bring into the surface. Let me clean this up.”

‏‏Clean it up.

‏‏Yeah and then move forward. I have a practice also to have a sheet of paper in my life that is always blank. When I ask the question if I will die today, what would be something that I didn’t do that I have to do before I die? If I have something in the sheet of paper like calling someone, cleaning someone, I’ll do it right away. I keep it clean. I keep it blank. That paper. That’s something that I also do to make sure that I’m playing in my fullest.

‏‏Powerful. Last time I saw you speak, you said that 1% of the population are living their purpose. Can you speak a bit about that?

‏‏Yes. Through the years in history and just the experience of the results in the world have shown that only 1% of us, we’re really living our purpose. What we mean by that, how we measure that is that we are doing what we love, it doesn’t mean that we’re not just doing a job that we have to do for money. That means that we’re doing what we love and that we use that to serve other people, that we use that gift that we have to help, to contribute to the planet, to the evolution of the planet. That means that I’m not doing this just because I want more money, because I want to look good, because I want to be successful but because I care about leaving a legacy. Only 1% of people do this. They really care about leaving a legacy. There is a formula that said that when that 1% becomes 3%, we just need 3% of us living our purpose, we will be able to influence the rest of the planet to awaken. That’s a formula that I play for. I play for that. I play for bringing more and more people to the 1% so we can become the 1%. That’s why I coach other coaches. That’s why I create verification program for coaches. That’s why the leaders that we coach are the ones that have access to the masses because I understand that that’s the fastest way to do it. It’s not everyone’s calling to work with high profile leaders or influential coaches because they also have a very strong ego. But because I have Carmen who I fully believe the strongest one of all so I can work with anyone’s ego. I’m like, “Bring it on. I’m ready for you.”

‏‏Wow. Leaders, coaches, they probably study a lot. They probably are pretty evolved in their understanding of spirituality. What are their challenges?

‏‏This is because they have to study so much, because they have been in personal growth so much, they become unconscious to their spiritual ego. The first thing that I do is to really bring them awareness of deep their ego is, of the person who made you haven’t study, haven’t done seminars, or hasn’t been a coach. We understand that we are also being unconscious when we get lost in our spiritual ego. That is the first work that I do with them. Also, facilitating the space for them to channel their own message. Many coaches, many speakers, what they do is they just repeat what they read, they repeat what they study. They become like an echo. Someone who is repeating what is being said. I train coaches and speakers to channel their own message, to go to their pure essence and understand that there is a pure, unique tool within each and every one of them. That if they’re willing to get out of the mindset of I have to speak like other coaches, I have to be part of the group that teach this or that and then they can have access to their real message, to what makes them unique. That is very confronting for the ego because the ego wants to be in, the ego wants to be loved and affected and when you are being yourself, that means that many people won’t like you. But also, that means that the people that are ready for you will recognize you and they will work with you. Like my clients, when they work with me, they say, “Karen, I don’t know what he was. God spoke to me and say, “She’s your coach.” There was something about you because sometimes they don’t see it in the outside because when they see myself it’s like I’m fashion, very Latina. They go like, “Oh, she’s a third world momma.” No, I never had that experience.

‏‏Really, I don’t understand why you’re not wearing a big robe, no makeup and let your hair go because you’re a spiritual being.

‏‏Exactly. A lot of people have that idea of how the person has the profile, the person that is spiritual. The people that work with me, they look beyond that and they have a sense of knowingness. That what I have to offer is exactly what they’re looking for. That means that a lot of people don’t like me for that same reason. Because either I’m too fashionable, I’m too loud, I smile too much, whatever. Being yourself means that the right people that are ready for your message will come to you, recognize you, will work with you, will pay you, will support you, will grow with you. That also means that a lot of people won’t understand you, won’t like you, will reject you for the same reasons that the other people will. Part of my work with this coaches and speakers, to be able to allow them to recognize who they really are for the world and honor every piece of it. What makes them unique. The combination of their experiences. How they can package all of that together to serve the world and beyond the expectations of being loved and liked by everyone. That way, they can truly leave a legacy on this planet.

‏‏I love this conversation. I am in this conversation in the last three days. It just shows up from so many directions. For the last couple of days, this is what I’m talking about, this is what I’m sharing. It’s all about being seen. Because when I arrived to the US with my dream of becoming a big Hollywood actress, I went to an acting school. I came, I lived in Japan for a few years. In Japan, I used to dress up very nicely and very uniquely, used really, really cool stuff. I came here, it was in the acting school. I was so different. I look different. I sound different. The cultural communication was not there because I came from two completely different cultures, the Israeli which is very small, like Latino culture where it’s very loud and expressive and passionate, unlike in Japan which is very conservative and respectful. You keep your energy close to you. I can’t even explain. It’s like your energy field shrinks. You’re not expressing yourself. Coming from those two cultures into the third one, I really tried to fit in. I really tried to put myself in that box. When I started dressing down, I worked on my accent a lot. I tried to do everything to be like everybody else. I was always, always different. I shrunk myself so much that I forgot who I was. Who is Orion? What is her to expression? How does she like to be seen? What are her gifts that are different from others? It’s taken me so long. Up until now, I’m still discovering who I am. I’m still discovering my full expression and I’m still discovering the courage of allowing myself to be seen just the way I am because like you said, the people that will gravitate to me are the people that want what I have. They don’t want anybody else. They want Orion. Especially when you go to seminars and you see those leaders, you see somebody on the stage and you want to be like them. It’s challenging because then the ego part like who am I? How can I be more like them? Because they are picture perfect, they are on stage. They are picture perfect, they are on Instagram. They are picture perfect, they are on Facebook. How can I be more like them? We forgot how to just turn it inward and think about how can I make it more like me? How can I be more like me?

‏‏Exactly. That is the danger of personal growth when we’re not fully present, that we’re not there to fix ourselves. Because I did so many seminars, I invest so much in my personal growth as well. I sold that a lot. People going to the seminar trying to fix who they are, if there is something broken. When we understand that there is nothing to be fixed about us, the true spiritual growth is when we go back to who we really are. We don’t have to become someone else. You just have to become you. That is my work. I know I’m successful as a coach when I bring my clients to who they really are, acceptance of who they really are. Then, they can use every experience that they had. They can use every craziness they had, every conscious, unconscious light, darkness they have, every fully part of them, every part of them, the whole package of them, and then use that to live their purpose. They put a business on that. They put a name on that, a business on that and they kind of also create financial abundance with that full package of it. That is the only reason that a coach and a speaker will be truly successful. We’ll sustain the results. People ask me, “Karen, you have been in business for 10 years. How did you do it?” I said I just discover more and more of who I am every time and then I do a seminar on that.

We don’t have to become someone else. You just have to become you. Click To Tweet

‏‏That’s perfect.

‏‏People pay me for that. It’s great. I love it.

‏‏Amazing. Money and spirituality. I know you struggled with money in the past and you had an idea of separation between money and spirituality.

‏‏Definitely. In the beginning, when I started doing this, I thought that if I do good, if I live my purpose, if I help enough people, I will have money because that’s what I learned in my seminars. I went to participate in the seminars. It says the more you give, the more you have. The more people you help, the more money you will happen. I’m like, “Okay. I’m going to help a lot of people.”

‏‏It’s going to happen just like that.

‏‏Exactly. I’m helping a lot of people. I must be rich, but no. The first four years of my career as a coach, people actually, my graduates were doubling their income, tripling their income and I was going broke more and more. I was like, “What is going on?” I don’t understand why. If I’m supposed to give and then receive, I’m just give and give and nothing is coming back in the form of money. I was getting a lot of joy, a lot of happiness, a lot of love, all of that.

‏‏Affirmations and satisfaction. Thank you, Karen. You’re amazing. You changed my life.

‏‏Yes. I was like, “Oh, that feels great.” That was fantastic but no money. I would like money too.

‏‏Can we have a fair exchange please?

‏‏I was like, “What’s going on? What is it within me that is rejecting money?” I knew it was my responsibility. I knew it was a part of me that wasn’t welcoming money. I knew, in essence that I deserve it. I knew in essence that I was capable. I knew in essence that it was right for me to have money. I had the concept of abundance in my head. I did a lot of programming about money. All of this but it was all mental. All in the level of the mind. There was not a spiritual relationship with money. When I met my mentor Gary who’s not a speaker. He’s not a coach. He’s someone who is simply spiritual, is a multimillionaire. He was the first person that I met who was very successful in business and deeply spiritual. I never met someone like that before, never. He was like two different things. At least have it close. Talk to him. I always see people who are deeply spiritual but they were totally disconnected from the material things. The people that were material or they had money but they were not spiritual, even in the seminars I went, I had two kind of seminars. The spiritual retreats with my guides like the meditation teachers, all of that, they had no money. They live on donations. They were like, “Okay, no material stuff.” And then, I went to the more neurolinguistic programming seminars, more of the Tony Robbins. All of this was great but it was very mental driven. I never felt I’ll fit fully in either of them.

‏‏There was no bridge between the two.

‏‏It was not in between. I was not together. I was either too spiritual in the mental seminars and too mental in the spiritual seminars. I was too fashionable for that one. It was like I don’t fit. What’s going on? For me, I talked to God and said, “God, show me where do I learn this?” I realized that there was no place where I would learn it because I had to create it. It was part of my message to share that with the world and to learn it first. I realized that through the coaching and the guidance of my mentor, that I didn’t see God in money. For me, God was love, was beautiful, was contribution. All of that.

‏‏Nobody says God is money.


‏‏People say money is God but not God is money.

‏‏Yeah. God is money. It’s bad. Even bad to say that. It was like, “Oh my God. That’s dirty.”

‏‏“Money is God,” you wall street scum.

‏‏Exactly. I didn’t see it there. I realized that, “Wow, if I wasn’t seeing God in everything, I didn’t see it at all.” That was my awakening. I started learning through tools that I developed how to clean up my spiritual relationship with God through money. It was, oh my God, eye opening to me. It was revolutionary for me. I transformed wholly my spiritual relationship with God and money. That’s how I made my first $1 million in 6 months. I never made that much money in my life, never. It was so easy. It flowed soft as a river. It was like wow, it’s really easy to do this. And then, I learned also not only to create abundance but also to sustain that because I went to the stage of okay, making money is easy for me but until now I don’t see it. It comes and then it goes. And then, okay, where is it going?

‏‏That was the next evolution.

‏‏Exactly. I learned that I wasn’t honouring the spiritual loss of money. I developed those losses. I’ve practiced in those losses and this is what I teach in my seminars and my coaching and certification programs. I started really using them and not only bringing money in, sustaining the money, but also build more, create more money with that abundance. That only happens when you help other people to create wealth. That only happens when you’re not only creating wealth for you but you’re facilitating creating wealth for other people. That’s what I do today. The concept of money is not in the mind level, it’s in the spiritual level and I bring this to my seminar, to my retreats and I teach it. I teach it to people that even already have money. For example, I have one of my clients. She built her company from $5 million to $100 million in five years. That wasn’t her purpose. That was something else. And then, when she started living her purpose as a coach, she couldn’t sell one seminar. She came to me and said, “Okay, Karen what happened? I know how to make money. I did it for my company that has nothing to do with my purpose and now, when I really want to do this I cannot make any money.” That’s when I came in and taught her and coached her into finding the roots of what was between her spiritual relationship with money and her purpose. What was it that allowed her to make money with something that is not in her purpose versus her purpose? With them, I do another type of cleaning. Those are tools that I use a lot in my coaching these days because many coaches especially and speakers, they come to me with that issue. They come to me with that challenge of like, “Okay, I can make money but I don’t see it.” Or, “I’m doing a great speech. I’m a great coach but I make no money.” We have a lot of that. There is a lot of people that have great content, great certifications. They have all the credentials but they have no money that will actually support and confirm the value that they’re bringing. That is a big part of what I teach to them.

‏‏I want to be respectful of your time here. Before we leave, three quick steps to living a stellar life and how can people find you?

‏‏Beautiful. Thank you my love for the invitation again. The first step always, always be present of the perfection of what you’re living. Don’t reject, honor it. Something happened, the roof fell down, what a gift. Let’s see what the gift is behind this, the roof fell down here in front  of me. There is a lesson. There is a blessing that God is providing through this challenge. Just honor what so, receive what so as a perfect plan. Number two, live your purpose no matter what your ego says. For your ego, you’re never ready. You’re never enough to be a coach, never enough to be a teacher. You’re never enough, never enough, never enough. Remember, it’s okay not to be enough for your ego. Do it anyways. Find people and find tools that will allow you to confirm the value of who you are, which is number three. Learn. Coach with people that have what you want to have. Learn from those people that have and are what you want to be and at the same time, remember that they’re not you in the outside. They’re you in essence but you’re not supposed to be a copy of them. You’re supposed to just learn from their experience or tools and apply them to your own experience, to your own way. Allow yourself to find the unique gift that you have, that is different so one day you can be the one teaching others that are lost in darkness. Those three will be definitely important to apply. Once we do, remember happiness is just a choice. There is nothing that will make us happy. I won’t make you happy. Nothing will make you happy. Just choose to be happy while you’re learning and evolving in this wonderful illusion of Maya on this planet. Let’s connect. Let’s support each other. Let’s celebrate each other’s differences. Let’s bless all those people who have what we want. Also, let’s dare to share all greatness and not be afraid to contribute. What you have makes a difference so share it. That definitely will change somebody’s life. It can save someone’s life. You can save someone’s life by sharing what you have. Don’t keep it to yourself. Don’t keep it. It’s not yours. It’s for you to share, my dear. Those will be my contribution. For people to find me easy, karenhoyos.com. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Karen Hoyos, and for all of you who want to connect with me, Karen Hoyos International, which is also my page, you will find a free gift that I have a webinar that I have online in my page that you guys can receive great stuff. There is so much information. Great goodies. I’m there for you guys. I’m so looking forward to supporting you, to serving you. Reach out. I’m there for you. I love you. Orion, I love you too.

‏‏I love you very much. I know that nobody can make me happy but you make me happy.

‏‏I contribute to that happiness. My pleasure. I love you so much.

‏‏Thank you, love.

‏‏Congratulations. Congratulations on living your purpose. I’m so proud of you doing this. Following your calling. You are amazing. Congratulations on your wedding. You inspire me. You guys have manifested, I have manifested it for myself too. When I see you guys as a couple I’m like, “Yes, that is coming from me too.” Thank you for being an inspiration for me as well my love.

‏‏Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for everything.

Your Checklist Actions to Take

✓ Differentiate between my ego self and my essence self. In essence, I am God, I have no limitations, and we are all one.

✓ Phrase and observe my experiences as exactly that: experiences. “I experience anger,” not “I am angry.”

✓ Remember that the gift of awakening comes to different people in different ways. I don’t need to suffer to become closer to God.

✓ When something happens, take responsibility for it and take it as a gift. Look for the lesson in the experience instead of blaming or judging other people.

✓ When I feel a negative emotion, step back and observe that it’s my mind/ego, not my essence, giving a meaning to the emotion. 

✓ Let go of all the notions I have of what it takes to “be a woman.” By simply being myself, I am a woman.

✓ For my ego, I will never be enough, so stop trying to convince it otherwise. Let my ego be insecure, and accept that in my essence I am beautiful, happy, and enough.

✓ Sit quietly and ask my ego, myself, or God what my ego’s name is. This will help me see her as a separate part of me instead of as my true identity.

✓ Practice daily gratitude. Find reasons to be grateful every day, including gratitude for challenges or difficulties because of the gifts and lessons they contain.

✓ If I were to die today, what would be something that I haven’t done that I would regret? Whatever that is, do it today.

Links and Resources:

About Karen Hoyos

Karen Hoyos is a Global Transformational Leader, Celebrity Coach, Speaker & Bestselling Author. She is considered one of the most influential leaders in the area of personal development; who has given her life to her purpose, so that every person can see it is possible for them to live their own.


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