Episode 63 | May 9, 2017

Love & Healing with Helaine Harris

A Personal Note from Orion

I know something that we all need more of in life: love and healing. And my amazing guest this week, Helaine Harris, is a woman who knows these two vital needs and how you can start having more of them in your life. Because lets be honest: we all have a past that we can heal from, we all have lessons that we can learn, from our mistakes, from the people that hurt us, even from our childhood.

If you want to foster deeper, more fulfilling connections in your relationships – whether your personal, romantic, or even business ones – you need to start with some deep healing that goes all the way back to your childhood and through every relationship has has ‘damaged’ you in some way. Helaine shares how we can rid ourselves of that negativity using energy work, and start the healing process to love ourselves enough to love others



In this Episode


  • [02:42] – Helaine tells us a bit about herself, and explains that her childhood is a big part of the reason that she works with the topics of healing and love today.
  • [04:12] – What did Helaine do to heal herself?
  • [06:13] – In response to Orion’s questions on what Helaine’s peers think of her and her methods, Helaine explains that she never did traditional therapy.
  • [07:36] – Helaine explains some of the keys to healing ourselves.
  • [09:34] – We hear Helaine’s thoughts on women today holding onto a masculine component, and how we respond once we’re badly hurt or betrayed.
  • [11:37] – If you’re with a partner who keeps breaking their promises, how do you deal with that? Helaine reveals that we tend to fall in love with people who mirror our shadow aspects.
  • [17:08] – Helane offers advice on seeing red flags when you’re in the state of bliss that occurs early in a relationship.
  • [19:09] – We learn why it’s important to embrace our own feminine aspects, which Helaine calls the “sacred feminine” or the “divine feminine.”
  • [22:42] – Orion clarifies that the masculine/feminine energy dynamic occurs in gay relationships as well, and explains why having this polarity in a relationship is important.
  • [23:55] – How do women become the goddess or the priestess?
  • [27:21] – Helaine explains one of the mistakes that she hears people make regularly, which is getting into a new relationship before healing fully from the last one.
  • [30:54] – We learn more about what Helaine means by surrendering, and how that applies to the business world.
  • [36:08] – Does Helaine have other ways to integrate that goddess energy into the boardroom? In her answer, Helaine talks about the importance of win-win situations and making sure everyone is satisfied with the outcome.
  • [41:05] – Orion and Helaine talks about embracing your shadows and doing shadow work.
  • [44:15] – We return to the example Helaine gave earlier of a woman whose husband was cheating, which was manifesting her own shadow in him.
  • [47:55] – Helaine has a visualization process to help listeners connect to self-love, which she shares here. She recommends listening to this and following along when you’re not driving or operating machinery.
  • [57:56] – As Helaine’s visualization guidance ends, Orion urges listeners to return to this recording and listen to this meditation again when necessary.
  • [58:30] – Helaine works remotely with people nationally and internationally. She offers a gift to Stellar Life listeners: a Divine Results Life Strategy Session. To get your gift, go to hzharris.com/yourresultslifesession. Another option is to call Helaine at 818-782-6869.
  • [60:24] – What are Helaine’s three top tips to a stellar life? 1. Love yourself. 2. Love what you’re doing. 3. Treat yourself gently and with compassion.


About Today’s Show

‏‏Hello and welcome to Stellar Life Podcast. I’m your host Orion, founder of Orion’s Method. My guest today is very special and dear to me. I know her personally. I coach with her. She helped me tremendously with clearing some things from my past with strategizing for the future and being in the present. She is bubbly, amazing, fun, and extremely wise, extremely smart coach and therapist. She’s just wonderful. Her name is Helaine Harris. She’s an intuitive business coach, healer, licensed psychotherapist and founder of An Awakening Center which blends over 45 traditional and alternative modalities to assist plans in fulfilling their life missions, destiny and finding their core power and strength. In this episode, we talked about love, we talked about relationship, healing and many, many other good things that will empower and inspire you. Without further ado, onto the show. Hello Helaine and welcome to Stellar Life Podcast.

‏‏Hello Orion. I’m so thrilled to be here with you.

‏‏I’m so thrilled to be here with you too. I know how amazing you are and I know that today you’re going to share something really special with the audience. Thank you for being here.

‏‏I’m excited to be here. It’s fun for me.

‏‏Let’s start by you telling us a little bit about yourself.

‏‏There’s a real big reason I like working with love and power and both of them. It’s because of what I went through as a child. I come up from a childhood of very intense borderline mom and a passive aggressive dad. Growing up, I had to do a tremendous amount of healing. As you’ve already shared, I’ve been a teacher, a therapist, a healer, and a spiritual business coach for many years now, over 35 years. I found that the biggest thing I had to do was heal me from all the pain I went through. I didn’t get into very healthy, good relationships, shall we say. That’s one of the biggest reasons for me. I found I not only wanted love all the time, I was also terrified of being alone or being without a partner. Because of what I went through, I was very codependent. What I thought years ago in my 20s is that anytime we’re not working, we should be together. Now I go nuts from something like that. That’s not exactly really healthy. How to have healthy love has been my life search, that’s why I have worked so much on it. I had to do a lot to get through it.

‏‏What did you do to heal yourself?

‏‏I started out with traditional therapy which I didn’t find worked very well. I think it’s very limited. It’s mainly from the mind. I had to turn into body work, reiki and bodywork. That’s actually the very first thing that ever helped me. I still do a lot of somatic work with people to work with the body and how to work with energy then I turned to hypnosis and spiritual work. What’s so wonderful is now we have so many more modalities to work with and I wound up training in so many of them, I stopped counting at 45, it sounded ridiculous. But what I have found is that what winds up healing people and changing patterns is everything is energy, light, and sound. That’s the foundation for all healing modalities that actually can create permanent change. What I found from childhood is that we all have this relationship imprint from early in childhood. Usually, our patterning for relationship is set by seven plus other things that happened in life. If we don’t refrain and reshape that imprint from early in life and sometimes even past lives, we do the same thing over and over again. We may change people, they may look different, the business may be different, but the way we feel in relationship will wind up being the same. My need has been to have love and that’s the main thing I’ve searched for my whole life till I found it, I have to get it.

What winds up healing people and changing patterns is everything about energy, light, and sound. Click To Tweet

‏‏For somebody who’s trained in mainstream therapy, how did your peers accept you for doing what you’re doing now when you’re integrating so many other things like energy work, sound work, somatic work?

‏‏I never did traditional therapy even at the beginning because it didn’t work for me, it was a waste of time. I do some of it. I do cognitive work because there are times that it’s very important. It’s an important part but it might be 5% or 10% of the deep work. It’s much more fun to have people really clear patterns out and change their lives where they’re creating what they want. I think many years ago when I started, I actually hid from other therapists what I did because I was hearing inner guides. I was afraid if they knew I was hearing these things, I’d be locked up. I was afraid of that. It’s like I protected myself.

‏‏What are the key things to healing ourselves and our wounds?

‏‏I think the keys to it is really doing different types of work. It’s doing something that’ll work with the mental, the mindset. Hypnosis is wonderful for that and certain other kinds of techniques but it’s also working with the energy body. Once I got into energy work, I found, more recently especially, much faster ways of helping people heal than what I went through 30 years ago. Actually, I wound up working with shamanic work. I’ve worked with a peruvian shaman for over 30 years. That’s so embedded in what I do because I can shift energy, move energy and I train people how to do that for themselves. I work with many people who are sensitive, energy sensitive. You’re sensitive.

‏‏Yeah, I know.

‏‏How to handle that? I used to think when I was a kid that everyone felt everyone’s feelings. I didn’t realize, “Oh, I did. I felt everyone’s feelings around me.” I had to learn how to deal with that. What I found is what was a curse, literally a curse in growing up, is really a gift now. It makes it easy to do remote healing work with people and just go into their energy body and shift things. I could’ve done that years ago.

‏‏So many women in love, they get hurt and then they build a shield on themselves. It’s almost like a barrier between them and their partners, their potential partners. That’s true to men and women.

‏‏Oh yes, definitely.

‏‏What do you see happening in today’s world when it comes to women and being guarded and holding into more of a masculine presence?

‏‏Not all women hold onto that masculine presence. I think those who have a strong mental component so they can use their mind to do that, then they hold on with a mental component and a masculine component. Here’s what I think happens. Once we’re badly hurt, betrayed, broken hearted, whether it’s in childhood and then following through in relationship, we want to protect ourselves. It’s all about protection. This is why I wind up training people in how to have power and how to be empowered because I found for myself in wanting love again. I had to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could protect myself, that I could sense where someone else was coming from. That’s where being intuitive helps. I trained a lot of people in being intuitive whether it’s for love, for relationship, for business, for prosperity. Because if we can sense where someone else is truly at, we don’t buy the BS words. Words are cheap, people say all kinds of things and then we believe their promises. We need to know how to find truth, how to sense when someone is lying to us. In order to do that, we have to do a lot of healing work on ourselves. The interesting thing I found is over time, I probably worked with I don’t know, 9,000, 10,000 people over time. What I found is that people lie to themselves more than they do to anyone else. How can they tell you the truth if they want to believe they’re very responsible people and here they don’t fulfill commitments, they break one promise after another, not only to you but to themselves.

People lie to themselves more than they do to anyone else.

‏‏How do you deal with this? If you’re with a partner who keeps breaking their promises, how do you deal with that?

‏‏You have to take a look at if you break your promises too and that’s why you’re with them, it’s revealing your shadow because we all have shadow aspects. In reality, I found we tend to fall in love with someone who will mirror the shadow aspect in us, the quality, the characteristics, we don’t want to know is in us. I have people look at, “What do you hate about your partner? What can’t stand about your mother and your father?” Usually, those qualities are in them but a little different format perhaps. It’s like I worked with one woman and I worked with her on her relationship, on her marriage, she was married many years. It upset her because her husband would cheat. He was dishonest, we worked with dishonesty. But she was dishonest about her feelings to him, she didn’t tell him the truth about what she was feeling or what she wanted to do or not do, she pretended. Women and men out there, if you want a partner who has integrity and has honesty then you need to begin telling the truth to them about, “Yes, I like this dinner.” “It’s not my favorite.” You don’t have to say it’s horrible and disgusting but you can say, “It’s not my favorite.” You could put it gently. You have to be willing to have integrity with yourself if you want a partner with integrity. I work with people who have a long list of what they want in a relationship. I’ve done that too. But what I get them to look at is, “Do you have those qualities in you?”

‏‏I get it. This woman found out that she was not integrous in her communication with him. And then what? Did he stop cheating? What happened there?

‏‏She needed to work on her own honesty and start being honest with him. How different things affected her and what it made her want to do? At that point in their marriage, she did have more trust in him and he was being more faithful.

‏‏What do you mean more faithful? It’s either faithful or not faithful.

‏‏I wasn’t in his body to know what he was doing all the time. He was faithful, as far as she knew he was faithful.

‏‏Because she changed herself, he changed his behavior?

‏‏Let’s say it has a connection to it. The other thing that happened is when you begin looking at where you don’t have the kind of integrity you want a partner to have, you begin seeing your own shadow, your own dark side, your own areas that are convoluted, that are manipulative shall we say, that aren’t so clean. When we begin looking at those areas in us that aren’t so clean and we do the inner work to find out where it comes from, and it could be relearned in childhood. If we told our parents the truth we might be beaten or they would turn cold or they wouldn’t whatever, we wouldn’t get the response we wanted. We learned to not be fully honest. I’ve also worked with clients where in their family they were rewarded if they went into a store and took things. They were rewarded for not being honest. I had a client, I remember, who was struggling with this split in her own psyche between wanting to have integrity and be honest and what she felt from the way she was trained. There’s a lot of repatterning that has to happen. What I want to say to women whose hearts are broken, who wind up going into the masculine to protect, maybe what you need to begin looking at is what part of you drew in, magnetized that kind of partner that hurt you in that way? The other thing I find, you may have gone through it, I know I certainly did it my earlier years, is those first few months, we both love vanilla ice cream, we’re meant to be together forever or whatever it is, we fall in love especially when you were younger, at least I sure did. What happens is when the shadow or the negative things begin showing up, we push them away, we don’t want to see it. That’s not such a big deal. He wasn’t so nice to that waitress but that could be very important later, the way he treated her might be how he treats you in five years.

‏‏This is a powerful lesson that I had to learn for myself. When I went into a relationship where I did not look at the signs, there were so many red flags, it was like a whole field of red flags and I was so in love that I didn’t care. If we’re in this chemical state of endorphins and oxytocin and this yummy feeling, how can we still see the red flags? How can we sharpen our awareness to actually see it when we’re in the state of bliss?

‏‏It’s very hard to do it when you’re in a state of bliss but when you’re with someone and you’re with them maybe at a family event and you suddenly notice how they treat someone there and that you have a reaction to it. Instead of pushing it away, begin looking at it real clearly. What does it mean? Talk to them about it, “Hey what happened with you when you were talking to him? You really were mean to him.” Find out the history and the story because how he treats someone in the family positively and negatively, especially a parent or a sibling, may be how you’re treated later.

Instead of pushing it away, begin looking at it real clearly. Click To Tweet

‏‏That’s really powerful.

‏‏It starts when we’re young.

‏‏Women, we get hurt, we don’t see red flags. Some of us move more into our masculine side which is the side that is shouting, “I’m respectful, take me seriously, I’m strong. Especially in the business world, I’m guarded so you can’t hurt me, I’m a deal maker, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” I believe that we all need that side, we are both yin and yang, we need our masculine, we need our drive, that helps us move forward and yet there is this so many women, it’s a global phenomenon, the women in Saudi Arabia and the women in LA and the women in Africa, they all share this epidemic of shutting down their femininity, their connection to their body, their sensual essence because it’s either society that makes them shut it down or they got hurt and they shut it down. What do we do to embrace that other half and why do we need to embrace it, that other inner feminine half of us?

‏‏The biggest reason that I think it’s important to embrace that feminine aspect, I like to call the Sacred Feminine, the Divine Feminine, is because it’s who we are, it’s a big part of who we are. It’s important to take your power, to be strong, to stand up firmly in business, to know how to negotiate, to do that level out in life but it’s also important to understand the balance between your masculine and your feminine. If you’re in a love relationship, do you want to hold more the masculine in the relationship or more of a balanced masculine feminine or more the feminine? It has also to do with your own nature. Sometimes, the protective shield are what makes many women become strong and almost, I’m going to say tough and basically having concrete barriers around them and pushing love away. For me, there are a number of steps to that. The first one is recognizing and acknowledging, “Yes, I have been hurt. Yes, I don’t want to be hurt like that again. Where was I off? Where was I blind? What’s the lesson I need to get to turn that around?” If it’s being unaware of negative things that were going on the first few months because by the way, I find usually what ends a marriage or relationship, the aspects are some of the qualities were revealing themselves within the first few months of that relationship. They just pushed it away and ignored it. Including for me, I did that too. But it’s recognizing that it’s about melting, it’s about choosing love and choosing when to love yourself. If you really do the work on loving you, inside you’re going to sense and know when something is really off, when someone is saying something that needs to be stopped. They just were a little late, they forgot time when they were doing something. I don’t know if that’s happened to you but I know I’ve done that. There are some things that are more minor, that you can let go. It’s just like when you make plans with someone, it’s a big difference if you’re going to a party and you go a little half hour late, later than the time called for the party because many will do that at different times or if you’re going to see a play that’s exactly on time. There are some aspects that are far more significant to confront and other things, everyone has stuff, we’re not perfect. If we’re here on Earth, we have stuff and we’re meant to grow. By the way, there is so much energy for growth now for people that everyone’s garbage just coming up. They’re healing to it much faster. It’s delightful to see, to witness, it’s wonderful. You have to be willing to speak your truth, “I’m hurt when you say it.” Instead of saying, “You were wrong when you did XYZ.” It’s all in the way you communicate. Are you wanting to get to a place of connection, or you’re wanting to beat them up because they did something, or you’re wanting to get even or back at them? If you find you’re wanting to do the get even or get back at, it’s going to roll the love energy in the family and then the relationship, it’s going to wipe it down.

‏‏Would you say that this energy of getting back at them would be more of what we call-when I say masculine, feminine energy, that energy is existing also in gay relationships. There is masculine, feminine also in the gay community and we’re talking about having that polarity in the relationship because when you do have the polarity in the relationship, you create more passion. It’s like the static of two parts of a magnet. That creates the passion and ignites the excitement in the relationship because when you both are on the same level, there is no polarity, there is lack of interest and then that can bring conflict. A woman wants her man to be the man and she’s the masculine, the strong in their relationship. He mainly will drop into his feminine self, this feminine part of him to create polarity, it’s either that or you both become very strong.

‏‏She can choose, “This is my time to take off my warrior suit.” My super power suit and put it aside. Now, I get to be the Goddess or the Priestess.

‏‏How do we become the Goddess, the Priestess?

‏‏It’s a choice. It’s a choice we make as women to take that deep feminine energy. First of all, I do a lot of work at opening all the chakras and there’s a real reason for it. It’s about opening that spiritual energy that’s in the core of our body. When you open that, there’s a lot more realness and health in each of the chakras. It’s very important to choose, to surrender. As a woman, no matter how strong a woman is, I’ve worked very hard to get very strong, there’s a place inside a woman where I find if they’re in a real deep love relationship and they really love their man, on that deep animalistic sexual level, we want to be taken. If we emasculate our man, that will never feel okay. It’s important for us to know what to get to that where we can enjoy our own feminine. That’s why I really think it’s really about self-love first. Until you know how to love you with all your characteristics, with all your shit, with all you divine aspects because we all have parts of this. Until we can do that, we don’t really know how to love someone else. When you do the deeper work on yourself and you begin to understand, “Oh, that’s why I was so angry, I see. In my case, mom who put me down, put everyone down all the time not just me, put the world down.” It’s understandable. There’s a way of releasing the emotions and going past and letting go of it. Literally, having that taken out of our energy body and having it released because I do a lot of release work for patternings from the pattern, we have an imprint in us about relationship from what we experienced in childhood, consciously and unconsciously even if we learn to wear of it. What we want to do is grow beyond that level and get to a higher level of functioning, bringing in our higher self, calling in higher levels of love so that we can love each other and choosing where you can both come together in a higher place. When you make those choices and they are really are ways of working with energy, that’s fine for me, working with couples and bringing their energies together and showing them how to bring it to a higher level. Instead of remaining just in the sexual center, beginning there and bringing it upward, into power center and bringing it into the heart and coming from and choosing to come from a place of love and then bringing it even into the higher levels. That opens another dimension in the love relationship. For me, to really have a relationship, I need someone who’s willing to at least explore going to those higher levels or hold me, want to hold my interest and desire along. It’s a choice. If you want love, it’s about choosing to let go of the previous wounds. Here’s one of the mistakes that I find people make and it saddens me deeply. They get into new love relationships, actually in the past I’ve even done it myself, before they really finished healing through the last relationship or who they’ve been with. What happens when we’re with someone, they actually put sexual cords into us and heart energy cords. Those cords need to be severed before going on to someone else. We need to release their energy from our bodies or we are taking the shell of our past love or the ghost of our past loves that wounded us into bed with our new partner. They’re doing it too. You’re not alone with them in bed, there’s the energy from the past, I see he’s holding back from me because she did XYZ and vice versa. We want to do that level of deep healing because as we release the deep hurt, the deep anguish some time, if we go through in a relationship, betrayal and violation, not just sexual violation but emotional on some very deep levels of betrayal. We’re not fully open no matter what BS we tell ourselves. For me, getting into the depth of those old issues and sometimes I’m working with those old issues even with couples who are married 10, 15 years and longer because they’re still holding onto what their first boyfriend did and their dad did or their mother did or whatever. It’s inside their body and they don’t know that’s why they have a six-inched thick shield around their heart. For me, that’s what’s really important to do, release the old.

‏‏What you’re saying is you got to release the old so when you come into the new relationship, you’re a clean slate and you don’t bring your baggage with you into the new relationship or into your bedroom.

‏‏Yes, absolutely. You don’t want to do that. It sucks if you do. It will never be as much fun as it can be. I see love and sexuality as joyous, as beautiful, as divine but man, you got to release that old crap. It really hangs around even when you have a new relationship and you think you love them. It’s amazing how long that can hang around especially if it was very wounding and it surprised you and you didn’t think it would be.

‏‏Right, that’s powerful.

‏‏Yeah, unfortunately.

‏‏I want to circle back to the Goddess and the surrender. I can imagine some of our listeners who are strong, driven business women listening to you say, “Awaken your Goddess, surrender.” They think, “Oh my God, surrender means weakness. How can I be a surrendered Goddess when I go and I try to close a big deal with a big company, how do I integrate those two parts and what is surrender?”

‏‏Surrender does not mean giving them your whole business. Surrender means in this moment, I choose to open more and love more. In business, to surrender, think in terms of the surrender being about opening and taking in what they’re saying on many levels, this why I really work with business intuition. You’re not just hearing their words because that’s only a fraction of the real message, you’re sensing their body, you’re sensing the truth in what they’re saying. There’s a vibration in their body when what they say is congruent all the way through. I train people in how to hear for that and how to hear when it’s not congruent and how to check it in their own body, some people are more kinesthetic, some are more auditories, some are more visual, some just are clairgnostic and they just get a knowing that way. But you know, that’s even true in connecting with your partner in a relationship. You need to know how they take things in. If someone has more visual strategies, whether in business or in the bedroom or just in love, their love relationship is more about flowers and romantic evenings and experience things visually that way. It’s very concrete kind of. Some are just more auditory, including in business. They need to hear certain things. In relationship, they may need to hear I love you or just wonderful expressions that express love and being loved. They need to hear your voice, the feelings of connection. They want to hear the positive loving tone. One of my daughters said to me many years ago when she was a kid, “You’re punishing me for the sound of my voice.” I can hear from your tone what you’re saying. It’s true in relationship. For kinesthetics, they need to be caressed and touched in a certain way. This might be for your man too. I encourage couples to ask each other what is their language. A kinesthetic person, they want to be massaged a certain way and kissed in a certain way, maybe the back of their neck or rubbing their lower back but it’s more touching in that way. That’s what translates to them, caring and understanding. In the boardroom, if we want to look at it that way, in a business deal, you want to listen to the verbiage someone uses. I see it, I see what you mean or yeah, I don’t hear that or I don’t know how that feels. Listen to their words, their words will tell you the languaging you need to use more fully with them to make a better deal, to get them to understand you. Even with bringing in your clients for what you’re doing or for what anyone else you’re working with is doing, these things work together. There’s a reason I work so much on love. For me, for people to really increase their business, it’s about opening your heart more. When you open your heart more and you love who you’re connecting with and what you’re doing, there’s a way of making a love connection or a business deal on a higher level. For me, I have learned to focus on my business connections to be win wins because if only I’m winning and they’re feeling short changed, it will never work well. They will get back at you in some way or another, whether it’s open or passive aggressive and the same thing holds true in a relationship. It’s different and yet not that different. It’s so critical to be able to know where are you coming from. Are you coming from the mind to figuring it all out? Are you in your body? Can you sense someone else’s body? What’s their visual? Are they sitting there with hands closed or they’re relaxed and kicking back? Are they on their edge of the chair and listening to you?

Surrender means in this moment, I choose to open more and love more.

‏‏What you’re saying is that when you integrate that Goddess part of you, you become extrasensory where you get into the meeting and you can actually sense their vibration?

‏‏Some people are going to sense the vibration if they’re more kinesthetic but others will hear nuances very, very differently in the voice. That voice will reveal whether they’re being honest with you or not and they know it is.

‏‏Do you have other ways to integrate that Goddess free-flowing feminine energy in the boardroom?

‏‏In the boardroom.

‏‏Yes, in business.

‏‏I know what you mean. The way I look at it is if you stay focused internally in you, on what’s the highest good, not can I win them over and take advantage of them. If you’re coming from that place, coming from love is going to work. For me, coming from love, it’s really creating every situation I can as much as I can, not saying I don’t mess up, times I sure do. You can ask anyone who’s around me enough. Yes, she messes up. But what you want to do is create it, create a situation so you both win, so it feels good for both, so it’s right for both of you. In order to do that, you have to pay attention instead of being distracted with your phone on the side and looking at how many other people are contacting you or texting you or whatever. You’re doing that, you’re not fully present. It takes one being fully present and it’s about committing to an honest, real connection to whatever degree. That doesn’t mean you want to love and hug everyone you work with in business, I tend to but it depends on the kind of business. Sometimes, it’s not appropriate. When it’s not and you’re really being available, you can feel it. I know when people come to me it’s the last thing that is going to happen at least today which shouldn’t happen. I guess because I have worked as a therapist for so many years, I look at people and I’ll see two things, I’ll see right away. I’ll see what their core is, what their gift is, what their positive quality is inside and then I’ll see the gunk around them that’s blocking them, the junk that we need to release and get rid of. I see both levels. But in business, if I’m wanting to partner up with someone, let’s say I want to do a joint venture, I want it to work for them and for me, it’s not going to be okay if it just works well for me, I want them to gain from it. I want to help them as well. I think when I was younger, I was much more competitive. I think at this stage of my life, I go more for collaboration. It works better. That’s how relationship works for me. It’s how to come together so you both can win, does that make any sense?

‏‏It makes sense in communication and intimate relationships as well.

‏‏It’s similar and a little different but it’s really the same kind of dynamic, how to create it so you both win. Whenever you come to an impasse in relationship, you see it this way, he sees it this way or you both his and she’s, it doesn’t make a difference. By the way, someone I was working with recently, they’re bisexual. She said to me, “I’m having the same exact problems with the guy in my life now that I did with my last girlfriend.”

‏‏What was the problem?

‏‏Whatever it was, they were putting her down, they were taking advantage of her and they were using her financially and in every way. It didn’t make a difference if it was man or woman, they were both doing it. In that case, do you understand that the patternings we have inside are very deep. It’s really how do we turn it around so our life works better. If you have an element that’s not working for you, don’t ignore it, get some deep work on. If you stand on the surface of it, your life stays on the surface but if you’re wanting a more fulfilled life so you can be a strong business woman and a loving woman, it’s recognizing we have different aspects. I’m trying to think of who would teach sacred sexual practices but there’s a couple of trainers I know, they would have people use different parts of their being in coming together in a love relationship being the kawaii girl, being the seductress, being the seducer, whatever. But in life, we take on different parts, different aspects because it’s an element of who we are. We’re not just one part of us all the time, I don’t know about you, maybe it’s because I’m Gemini, many different aspects.

‏‏I’m not a Gemini, I’m an Aries.

‏‏But you still have a different aspect.

‏‏I have a million different aspects of myself, I have so many. I actually did some work with [00:42:30], going to be on the podcast too where we had different icons and alter egos that we played with and it was really fun. I love what you said about shadow work and expressing and connecting and embracing your shadows because until you embrace your shadow, you cannot move on. Your shadow will just sneak up on you and take over without even noticing. When you embrace your shadow, you can actually work with her or him and not let the shadow take over but be your own master. Master those shadows.

‏‏It isn’t just mastering, it is about embracing it.

‏‏Embracing, yes. Embracing is a better word.

‏‏I’ve done a shadow workshop and I’ve done it a number of times and I haven’t done it recently where it’s a full weekend workshop. I have people actually going to and take on their shadow but dance with it and use makeup and dress with it and paint themselves as a shadow and exaggerate it and be it and play it out. What you find when you bring out your shadow, there’s an element in it that teaches you. In working with a shaman, he had us go into all our shadow aspects are as many as we did. It’s a fascinating thing that happens. When you do that, it teaches you a much greater level of love and compassion for other people, for people who aren’t like you. Just made me think of this, very often, when someone is very strong and they have that kind of warrior kind of exterior and you have that fiery energy, that inside them there is often a shadow aspect of a little girl or a little boy who’s really scared, that’s often the shadow. They’re hiding and protecting that part.

‏‏That’s true to the biggest leaders in the world especially people like the dictators or people with big, scary personalities. When you go deep then you find that little shadow, little child.

‏‏ Always do. When the shadow comes out and they learn to embrace that part and love it, love your own shadow, you grow. You grow in a very important way inside. It allows you or it allowed me when I went through some very heavy things like that to understand others more, understand people who are different or reacted differently than I do. That was very important but I find because so many people I worked with, a lot of their shadow has to do with hating people who aren’t honest, who are deceptive, who are this, who are that or who are weak. The very strong women I found when I worked with them, they often had their shadow aspect of the weak mother or the weak child inside them and that’s often what holds a lot of their energy. When they bring it out, it’s no longer repressed and stuck and then it can be integrated.

‏‏That brings me back to that story you told about the cheater and now you guided that woman to actually look at her own qualities and how her shadow is manifested in him because it’s not about trying to fix the other person. Whatever the result of their relationship is, whether they kept together or separated, that’s a different thing. But what you worked on was helping her recognize that part in herself, her shadow part. The moment she embraced it, she had ownership on it. She went from a victim to somebody who owns who she is and her destiny and her power within that relationship.

‏‏Really good, that’s very true, you got it.

‏‏Got it.

‏‏You got it, girl.

‏‏It took me about 25 minutes.

‏‏But it’s an important piece, that’s really what does happen. It’s with any other parts. With strong women who are protecting their heart and shielding, it’s important for them to work with the aspect that’s shielding them. Why do they feel they need to shield? What’s happened? How, if they open or when they choose to open, can they know they’ll be safe? That’s a part to play with. I do some work with helping people create an inner protector mainly because I think I needed it when I was coping through that so I created one for me. I got to protect you in there, you’re going to show me careful, danger. It’s interesting there was a time I was driving with someone and we passed a street, we were stuck there and all of a sudden I heard him sigh danger, move fast and I said, “You got to move fast and get out, move.” There was a guy coming down, taking a big stick and hitting metal rod and he looked like he would go off. We got out there real quickly and I don’t have fears usually like that, it was very unusual. I have an inner protector, I help people create that. It’s a very important thing to do because if you’re afraid of having your heart hurt or broken again, the reality is if we ever love again and fully again, if something happens to someone we love, an illness or worse, we are going to be sad, we are going to feel hurt but you’re going to have the love to, the warmth of what you’ve experienced to keep you, to hold you. Some people actually choose to never open again and that’s really sad because as a woman, that’s what makes us come alive.

Some people actually choose to never open again and that’s really sad because as a woman, that’s what makes us come alive. Click To Tweet

‏‏Yeah, that’s really sad, that’s really, really sad.

‏‏I know. It is.

‏‏I just recently worked with a woman who was very closed off. Even though we just started, it’s just amazing to see her discovering that side of her that is so vibrant and alive and beautiful and see the transformation and hearing in her voice, it’s beautiful.

‏‏It’s wonderful. It’s wonderful to do that. It’s exciting.

‏‏It’s very exciting. I know that you have a special something for us, a process that will help the audience connect to self-love.

‏‏Let’s go for it. I’m going to suggest that if you’re driving or doing anything with a machine or you don’t listen to this now, you turn it off and listen later. Get comfortable and close your eyes and go inside and surround yourself, the beautiful golden white light. If you’re inclined, imagine breathing in that light from above your head, from spirit, from God, from source, whatever word works best for you. As you breathe in that light, just imagine it opening the crown of your head and flowing down your body in and around you, relaxing the muscles in your face and head and neck and just allow your shoulders to relax. Imagine letting go of any stress or tension you’ve been carrying, letting go, letting go. Feel yourself relaxing more fully and imagine this warm beautiful light just coming down behind your eyes and moving down out in front of your spine relaxing you. In fact, imagine dropping down now into your heart. Imagine moving down into your heart, opening the door into your heart, walking inside to your own sacred heart’s face. This is your inner home, make it beautiful for you. As you’re there, call in your higher self, I call in my higher self to merge with me in my heart. I ask that you guide me in opening my heart more fully to me. Beautiful. Now just imagine that light now coming down in front of your spine, down to the base of your spine and moving into your legs, down your legs, into your shams and ankles and feet and toes. Now take your awareness to the base of your spine and from there, imagine a beautiful, strong energy cord going all the way down, down, down into the core of the earth and in the center of the earth, there’s this beautiful ball of high vibrational frequency energy. Your energy cord circles it and plugs right into it and feel that earth energy and feel that quiet, deep, slow moving energy, that loving mother earth presence, just feel that support and strength and connection. Now breathe that energy up, up through the earth, through the earth’s crust and into the soles of your feet and breathe in that strength and power from mother earth. Feel it filling your legs, moving up torso, moving up your whole body onto your head. Now, as you bring that energy up your body, up your legs and into your torso, we’re going to ask the Archangels, Michael and Raphael, to open, clear, align and balance all your chakras. Imagine sending down any of that energy that’s negative in any way, shape, or form, any thoughts, feelings, beliefs, anything coming up right now whether you’re conscious of it or not. Send it into the core of the earth, imagine it just going all the way down into the very center of that ball of light, the core of the earth, counterclockwise if you will, high vibrational frequency, release all that negative energy, going up, up, up through your body, let’s especially release it from the psycho shocker, the sexual center, any negative experiences you may have had and putting in strong energy in this so you could feel it even when you listen later and let it move up into your heart. Now, get into notice anything that comes up for you where your heart has felt hurt or betrayed and what beliefs you took away from that. Right now, send that negative energy down, down, down into the core of the earth or impose, you can also call an Archangel like Raphael to just vacuum it right out of your heart and power center directly just pulling out all that negative energy and releasing it into the universe harmlessly. It can be transmuted, we want to always release these negative feelings and thoughts and beliefs that are coming up. Notice any vow that you made about, “I’m never going to experience that again.” Because that vow of not letting someone in is really what’s affecting you, might be affecting you now. Letting that go and letting it go because this is about loving you, loving you so let them pull out all that pain about love and all the beliefs about it and vows you made. Now, to whatever extent you can, let’s imagine breathing in this beautiful light from above your head, from the angels, from God, from whatever it is you believe in, coming down directly into the center of your heart and filling it with love. Let it go down into your soul reflexes and your gut and ask the guides and angels to release any more negative energy that might be coming up and pull it out of your body. Release and imagine it flowing out of your body into the angels so they can release it permanently. Letting it go, letting it go, letting it go, breathing in that energy of love. Let yourself think about something you love, maybe an animal or child or you. Put this as time to let your heart open to you and this is about forgiving you for anything you may have done. Right now, think of something that you’ve been holding against you and right now, forgive yourself, let yourself understand what it was about and release it from your heart and from your gut because they’re connected. Letting it go, letting it go, letting it go, letting it out. Now, imagine this beautiful golden light coming in and pushing out the remaining feelings of unlove, not loving. Now that borders and boundaries you have around your heart that made it concrete or any other fabric, just imagine it softening because boundaries can be flexible so you can create them very flexibly so now you can let your heart open to you, loving you, being grateful for how much you’ve done and what you’ve been working on. Say to yourself, say to your higher self, “Help me love me more.” Very gently imagine pink light coming in from above at the same time with the golden light and melting into your heart, letting it melt, letting it open your heart, open your heart a little bit more, it’s alright, it’s alright. This is about loving you. This is your safe heart’s space, your inner home. Let yourself feel that, it’s okay, it’s alright, beautiful. Now let that light love move down into your guts, some of you seem to have step going on in there and let us heal what’s going on in there for right now. Let your love heal your gut, in fact, you could even put your hands right over your belly and love you. There you go. Beautiful. Notice how that feels for you, begin coming back here, coming back, five, four, three, wiggle your toes, two, one, wound up your hands together, take in a big breath and be here now, relax, alert, open your eyes when you feel ready and be here with me.

‏‏Wow. That was amazing.

‏‏It was very brief and I know that.

‏‏It was brief and very deep and went deep really fast for me.


‏‏It was really amazing. Thank you so much.

‏‏Absolutely. You’re so welcome.

‏‏What a blessing, thank you so much.

‏‏I love it. I love doing things like that.

‏‏I urge listeners to, whenever you feel down, whenever you feel like you need more self-love, a need to connect to yourselves again, come back to this recording and listen to this meditation again. If you need a deeper work from an amazing individual who has years and years of experience and knows a lot about a lot of things and very intuitive and can help, you work with people remotely as well, correct?

‏‏Yes, nationally and internationally.

‏‏If you hear that calling to work with Helaine, to have her help you on your journey.

‏‏I have an offer. I have a gift. What I have for you is a divine results life session. What we can do is identify any issues blocking you with love, abundance, relationships, health, even business. We can work on any of those areas, access the information from your higher self and spirit on how to reverse those challenges in your life. Here’s what I suggest you go to,www.hzharris.com/yourresultslifesession or you could call us at 818-782-6869. I’d love to speak with you.

‏‏That’s amazing that you’re giving this session for free. That’s a nice gift. If you’re listening and you are called to, take advantage of this offer, it’s a great offer. Before we leave Helaine, thank you so much for this awesome interview, what are your three top tips to living a Stellar Life?

‏‏Love yourself, love what you’re doing, and treat yourself gently and with compassion.

‏‏That’s beautiful.

‏‏Especially strong business women, you really need a lot of compassion and gentleness.

‏‏Thank you so much, Helaine.

‏‏Have a divine day, everyone. Thank you so much, Orion. This was fun. You are a great interviewer.

‏‏Thank you, thank you very much. Have a beautiful day.

‏‏Bye. Bye everyone.


Your Checklist Actions to Take

✓ Heal myself faster by working with my body and with energy using tools like Reiki and bodywork. 

✓ Create permanent change in my healing by using the foundation of all healing modalities, which is energy, light, and sound.

✓ Do different types of work to heal myself, such as mindwork, hypnosis, and energy work.

✓ Be intuitive. By sensing where someone is truly at I won’t believe lies and can find truth.

✓ Reveal my shadow. If my partner breaks promises, take a look at myself to see if I do the same. 

✓ Tell the truth to myself and my partner, so that I will have an honest relationship and so my partner also shows me integrity and honesty.

✓ Use my masculine side and drive to move forward without shutting down my femininity and my connection to my body.

✓ Recognize and acknowledge when I was hurt and find the lesson I needed, so I can learn and improve myself.

✓ At the end of the day, drop my shield, open my chakras to spiritual energy, and make the choice to tune into my divine feminine and become a goddess to my partner. 

✓ Release the deep anguish, betrayal, and violation of old relationships by doing deep work to eliminate them from your body and move forward happy, healthy, and ready for love.

Links and Resources:

About Helaine Harris

Helaine Z. Harris, LMFT, empowers heart-centered spiritualpreneurs to transform their life and business so it reflects their authentic self by doing what they love (or loving what they do) while increasing their income. She is an intuitive business coach, healer, licensed psychotherapist and founder of An Awakening Center, which blends over 45 traditional and alternative modalities to assist clients in fulfilling their life


Facebook Comments