Episode 335 | September 12, 2023

Pleasure, Power, and Purpose with Connie Chapman

A Personal Note From Orion

Welcome to another captivating episode of the Stellar Life podcast! I’m thrilled to be joined by the extraordinary Connie Chapman as we accompany you on a transformational journey into the realms of pleasure, power, and purpose. 

Connie is not only a women’s life coach and a feminine embodiment mentor, but she’s also the brilliant host of the Awaken Radio podcast. Over the past decade, her coaching programs and online courses have touched the lives of thousands of women, guiding them on profound journeys of healing, power reclamation, and self-transformation.

Connie’s mission is awe-inspiring—to empower women to fully embrace their divine feminine energy, foster self-love, and reclaim their inner confidence, worthiness, and empowerment. She believes that by doing so, women can become magnets for the life and relationships they truly desire. Connie’s work is deeply rooted in her own incredible journey, and her unique approach seamlessly blends intuitive wisdom, transformational coaching skills, and somatic healing to create profound and lasting change.

This podcast is a must-listen for anyone seeking to unleash their inner power, discover their purpose, and bask in the joy of profound pleasure. Connie’s guidance will lead you to greater self-awareness and help you tap into the magnetic force within you. So, without further ado, let’s dive into this transformative episode! 

In This Episode

  • [02:59] – Orion asks Connie Chapman to share how she got into personal development and healing.
  • [07:38] – Connie describes how she dives into embodiment and receives support.
  • [09:22] – Connie discusses her morning rituals and the difference between the first and today’s dances.
  • [10:40] – Orion recalls her experience similar to Connie and how it led to connecting to their femininity.
  • [18:54] – Connie shares her experiences of feeling like she needed to be perfect all the time and what she has had to do to overcome it.
  • [21:41] – Connie emphasizes the importance of setting up a new model of love within ourselves and embracing the full range of our feminine energy.
  • [26:33] – Connie talks about her methods of diving into feminine energy besides dancing.
  • [29:34] – Orion and Connie elaborate on the need for us to embrace our body as a doorway to pleasure.
  • [32:24] – Connie explains how we can thrive healthily in our feminine energy.
  • [38:23] – Connie discusses healthy masculine energy and combining feminine and masculine energy.

Jump to Links and Resources

About Today’s Show

Hi, Connie. Welcome to the Stellar Life podcast. Thank you so much for being here.

My pleasure. Thank you for having me, Orion. I’m so excited to chat with you.

Yeah, me too. Before we begin, please share a bit about yourself, your origin story, and what brought you to be the phenomenal coach and woman you are today.

My journey has been quite a long one. It started when I was around 20 when I first got into personal development and healing. After having a difficult time with acne, low self-esteem, and body image insecurities in my teenage years, my mom introduced me to yoga, naturopathy, personal development books, and Reiki. I started this journey of awakening. 

Throughout my 20s, I read every self-help book that I could find. I went to yoga classes, I went to Tony Robbins and walked on hot coals with him, and I went to Buddhist retreats. I was just so curious about learning about myself, working on myself, and healing from so many of the struggles I’d had up until that point in my life. 

I was working in another career at the time, but I had this closet kind of spiritual life where, behind the scenes, I was so obsessed with learning and growth. Then, I got to around 28–29 and was at a crossroads in my career. I wasn’t happy with the work that I was doing. I found a life coach to work with. 

I decided to work with someone to support me because after doing all the personal growth work, I knew I wanted to help people. I wanted to teach people what I had learned. But I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t have any confidence to do that. I was like, “Who am I to teach people?”

I started working with this coach, and she supported me to connect with what I wanted. I started writing on a blog and sharing my lessons and learnings. Then, I decided to go on to train as a life coach. She supported me in finding the confidence to go and follow what I wanted to do.

I ended up quitting my job and building this business. My coaching business grew quickly in the first couple of years, but I was hustling hard. I was working around the clock. 

The inner masculine energy is the action taker, planner, and strategist that provides mental energy and supports your feminine energy in what it desires. Click To Tweet

I was obsessed with my business, results, outcomes, and making money. I was running myself into the ground. I was anxious all the time. I couldn’t relax, rest, or spend time with people. A few years into my business, my boyfriend broke up with me. I had been with him for 3½ years. I thought we were going to get married.

He just unexpectedly broke up with me. I was floored. I didn’t know why the relationship ended. It wasn’t until later that I recognized that I was not prioritizing him and the relationship. I was so in my masculine energy. I was so in my head. I was so work-obsessed.

A few months after that breakup, I was at a friend’s wedding. There was this love tarot card reader there. She was pulling cards and doing readings. I sat down with her, and she pulled a few cards for me. She looked at me and said, “Sweetheart, you are too connected to your masculine energy. You need to stop walking with your shoulders and just start walking with your hips. This is why you’re not in a relationship.” I burst into tears. I said, “Oh my gosh, I don’t know anything about this masculine and feminine stuff.”

Did you cry in front of her?

Yeah, I cried on the spot. It hit me in the heart. I ran off to my friends. I had a friend at the wedding who was a feminine embodiment teacher and a coach, and I started working with her. That was the beginning of my feminine reclamation. Since then, it’s been an amazing journey of reconnecting with these parts of myself and teaching other women how to do it.

What was your first lesson in feminine embodiment?

Oh, what a beautiful question. I think it was feeling—learning how to let myself feel my emotions and be vulnerable, that it’s safe to come into my heart and feel deeply. I was afraid to feel for a long time because I felt like my emotions would overwhelm me. I didn’t know what to do with them.

Beautiful feminine energy is the energy of love.

I saw it was weak to be a highly emotional person. But recalling one of my first sessions with my coach, I just cried, and letting myself be seen in my tenderness and vulnerability was a big part of that journey.

Were you guys doing movement? Or visualizations? How do you dive into embodiment?

One of the very first things she got me to do was dance. She put on a song and said, “I want you to stand up and dance.” I think she wanted to see how connected I was to my body and how fluidly I was able to move. Of course, I was incredibly uncomfortable. But one of the things I started doing was taking on dance for morning practice. 

I used to wake up every morning and just work. The first thing I do when I wake up is have a cup of coffee and sit at the computer. Instead, I started setting up this ritual space in the morning with candles, and I’d sometimes put on some nice lingerie or underwear while dancing in front of the mirror.

She taught me to come into my body and to connect with my emotions. We were working on the qualities of receiving, like letting myself receive support. 

How did you receive support?

I didn’t know how to initially, which is one of my hardest things. I remember one exercise she did with me was she got me to just sit and feel the support of the chair. She’s like, “Can you feel that you’re being supported at this moment?” And even to feel the support of her presence.

I’m devoted to setting that time and space every day to come into my body and heart, connect with my feelings, and practice something that nurtures that side of myself.

I just had this story that I was never supported and couldn’t rely on anyone, so I just closed off on it. But she encouraged me to open up to the experience of receiving support and what that felt like. Yes, many little things she gave me opened up new possibilities when working with her.

Do you still do this morning ritual?

I do. It’s different now. It looks different because when you work with a feminine, the way you care for her is different, depending on what she needs. But yeah, I’m devoted to setting that time and space every day to come into my body and heart, connect with my feelings, and practice something that nurtures that side of myself.

What’s the difference between the first dances and today’s dances?

In between that time, I did pole dancing, which was incredible. I did it in Sydney, Australia. There’s a studio called Pole Dance Academy. They have some beautiful teachers who have competed and are good at what they do. That opened me up to learning how to properly move my body sensually.

Initially, my movement was probably more rigid and thought out, like, “What do I look like?” And now it’s so fluid. It’s like you move like water, sensual and sexual. It’s the full range of the feminine rather than just one expression of her, which was all I could embody back in the day.

My story is similar to yours. I was in an abusive relationship, and I got very much into my masculinity. Interestingly enough, it was a similar age. I couldn’t date guys because I would emasculate every guy. Emasculate is a big word, but I would make sure that I’m not getting hurt and that I will test that guy again and again and prove to him that I’m just as strong as the guys. 

I couldn’t figure out why I could not find anyone for more than a few months because I didn’t want to date another male energy. For me, being feminine was being taken advantage of or being weak. I didn’t want to acknowledge that part of me, and I suppressed her because when I’m feminine, I get hurt.

Then I went to Tony Robbins and did Unleash the Power Within, which gave me strength. Then I did Date With Destiny, and on the relationship day, I learned about feminine-masculine energies. I was so emotional that I was like, “‘No, I’m not giving up my masculinity.”

But at the end of the day, I stood by a little waterfall. I wrote my relationship vision. Not only what I wanted but who I needed to become, and I needed to become softer, caring, and confident. I was like, “Who am I going to be for that person?” And I started crying and laughing. It was an explosion of emotion and a total surrender—one of the biggest surrender moments in my life. Then I said, “God, I can’t do it alone. I will hand it to you. Please guide me.” I completely surrendered, and 48 hours later, I found the incredible man who is my husband today. He proposed to me 9 days after we met in a hot air balloon in Vegas.

Wow. That’s an incredible story.

Yes, but I said no. A year later, he proposed to me in the same waterfall where I prayed for him to show up. At that time, I said yes. Now we have a son together. He’s an incredible man. I am feeling very blessed. I learned that night that I needed to connect with my femininity, but I didn’t know how. I took a similar path when I studied with Sheila Kelly. Do you know her?

I’ve heard of her. Is that the S Factor?

Yeah. I started pole dancing with her and learning a lot about feminine movement. That helped me a lot in my relationship because the person I was before couldn’t hold a relationship ever. I had to be a vibrational match and in harmony with love and a relationship with self-love.

When you were telling me your story, I could see some parallels. I was like, “Oh, wow. That’s cool.” I also have been to Tony Robbins in Australia.

We are responsible for our wholeness, happiness, and fullness.

But on that, I relate to what you shared about relationships because this is a missing piece for many women who struggle to have their relationships working with men or call in the type of man they want. They’re disconnected from their femininity. It is the key to a thriving relationship and calling in that person. 

That was my experience after that relationship ended. It took me six years of a lot of healing and a lot of feminine reclamation before I was able to call in my next partner. There were still a lot of childhood wounds playing out for me, around the feminine and around my relationship with men. But it was when I truly came into my feminine I called in a man so effortlessly and easily. 

I met him in a season where I felt full, happy, and complete in who I was as a woman. There was no neediness. There was no trying to find him or chase him. It’s so magnetic. He just found me. That is the gift of our feminine. It’s just how magnetic that energy is to men.

I love what you said, “I was so full with myself, with my essence.” You didn’t look for anyone to complete you. A lot of people are looking for their other half. It’s not your other half. It’s like two wholes coming together and creating a bigger, more magnificent thing. What’s your take on that?

I see it as an overflow. We’re both here to be responsible for our wholeness, happiness, and fullness. We overflow all the energy we create and cultivate within ourselves into the relationship. What happens between the two of you is this incredible creation of energy. 

It’s so important for us as women to feel in ourselves that space we sometimes get into when we feel empty or needy, or something is missing. We start looking externally for our partner to show up a certain way for us, to find that partner, or to make more money. 

It’s always when we come in and tend to ourselves into our relationship with ourselves, and we fill ourselves up with self-love, and we meet our needs, and we show up in the way that we need for ourselves, then I think that’s when we truly get to receive. If you’re not coming from fullness, you’re just trying to get to fill a void. 

When you’re coming from fullness, you can receive. What is being given to you is just a reflection of what you’ve already cultivated.

But when you’re coming from fullness, you can receive because what is being given to you is just a reflection of what you’ve already cultivated within. The key to deeper receiving is giving and receiving within ourselves; then, we can receive that from a partner.

All this neediness comes from hurt and wounds. I saw that you’re talking about the wounded feminine and wounded masculine. What are those, and what can we do about it?

When we talk about how the wounded feminine or wounded masculine expresses through us, it’s when the energy of the masculine and feminine energy inside us—because we all have both energies—is running in a way based on our wounding from childhood. If we have woundings around the feminine, we often have a wounding around love, where we look outside of ourselves for love rather than feeling whole, like we are the source of the love. 

The wounded feminine will look like a lot of insecurity and neediness, seeking external love and validation. That’s that part of us that, as a child, wasn’t loved in the way she wanted and needed. She set up this pattern of seeking it externally. The wounded feminine is not our empowered, divine feminine. It’s that feminine we feel that is yet insecure, needy, and constantly looking outside of herself for validation and approval. 

The wounded masculine within us is set up around the model of feeling enough and worthy based on what we’re doing. When we’re in a wounded masculine—this often comes from our relationship with our father. If we were praised and loved for achieving a lot, being perfect, being smart and academic—we would feel like to feel enough and worthy in the world, we have to do, we have to achieve, we have to be perfect. 

Neither of these energies are healthy, embodied expressions of masculine and feminine. They point to the fact that there are unresolved wounds for our inner child that we have to work on to heal how we express our feminine and masculine energy inside us.

Did you experience the need to be perfect all the time?

Absolutely. The way that I grew up was that my mom was very much a wounded feminine. She was very disempowered, overly emotional, and had a victim mentality. She was very dependent on my father for finances and support. Whereas my dad was successful as a business owner. He had all the freedom and all the money. As the eldest daughter, I got a lot of praise for being responsible and good in academics and sports. 

There are unresolved wounds for our inner child that we have to work on to heal how we express our feminine and masculine energy inside us.

I admired my dad, and I just wanted his love so much. I wanted to be like him. I just thought, “To be more of what Dad wants, I have to succeed. I have to be perfect. I have to achieve all the time. That’s what will get me love.” That’s been a big pattern I’ve had to unravel throughout my life. I feel that to be enough, I have to be perfect. It’s a tough one.

What work do you do to be okay with not being perfect?

It starts with inner child work. I had to go back and look at what that little girl learned about herself and the conditional model of love that she received or that she felt she received, where it felt like she wasn’t enough to be herself. She had to be doing and achieving to be enough. 

I work with the inner child to take my adult self back to connect with her. I help shift her perspective and change her belief systems about herself, talk with her and work with her to celebrate everything about her besides her being perfect so that she can feel like she is loved and she is enough for all of herself and for all of who she is. That’s some of the deeper healing work. 

Now, it’s witnessing when it plays out. I see it now, and I can catch it. I can notice the pattern. Sometimes, it encourages me to lean into my messy, imperfect feminine because the feminine isn’t perfect. 

Super messy.

She’s full of expression and chaos. It’s wildness. I have to say, “Connie, just express yourself however you want. Don’t worry about how it looks. Or just put that writing out there, even though it isn’t perfect. Or let the house be messy for the day. Don’t worry about it.” I have to encourage myself into that more relaxed feminine space. 

I also have to work on loving myself. This is what I do regularly, even when I’m not perfect. Because the perfectionist only loves herself and is proud of herself when she’s perfect. 

That’s such an impossible bar.

It’s unattainable, isn’t it? We have to set up a new model of love within ourselves where we will give love to ourselves even when we’re imperfect. That comes down to how we love and support ourselves in every moment.

Sensual pleasures nourish our feminine energy.

One of the exercises I did with myself the other day went back to when I was messy, not proud and ashamed of myself. That was so hard. I have to do it again to embrace her. There is more work to be done. It’s endless. 

I went back to those moments where I was ashamed of myself and didn’t want to look, and I suppressed it in the back of my mind, and I’m like, “I’m not that. That just happened to somebody else.” I went back to those moments, and I looked at them. I had a lot of compassion and a lot of love. I hugged the younger me.

It’s not only childhood. Throughout life, we do messy things. You can be whole, completely who you are, or completely genuine without embracing all your shadow parts.

Absolutely. Part of the feminine work is embracing the full range of the feminine, which sometimes expresses herself as this beautiful, ethereal, put-together, gorgeous Goddess energy. Other times, she’s wild and messy, all over the place, imperfect, flawed, and she has the full expression. 

As you said, that return to wholeness within ourselves is embracing and allowing all of ourselves. I love that exercise you said you took yourself through because so many of us have memories from the past that we hold shame around, and we just push them into the shadows suddenly.

This is who I am. I am perfect.

Shame breeds in the shadows but can’t survive in the light.

That shame breeds in the shadows but can’t survive in the light. When you shine a light upon it, witness it and look at it with love and compassion, you know that you were just doing the best you could at that moment to bring love. 

That was so deep. I am going to be working with a couple of stylists. I had a meeting with them. They did a closet cleanse. I have nothing to wear, so I need help. I met them, and my little one was screaming. I was just finishing cooking, and I was sweaty. I live in Miami. It’s super hot. 

My hair was messy, my shirt was off, and I said, “Hi. How are you?” They look like tiptop makeup and hair done. Everyone looks so beautiful. I’m just like all this messy me, tired and hot. But it was a refreshing icebreaker because sometimes we are more relatable when we are like that. I hope I was relatable. 

It’s real, and we crave that realness because seeing it in someone else helps us accept and embrace the realness and imperfection of ourselves, too.

What are some of your methods or ways to dive into the feminine besides dance?

I think anything that brings us into our body. The body is such a beautiful doorway into the feminine. The feminine is the realm of shoulders down. We come into the heart, into the womb, down into the Yoni, and the hips. As the feminine, our wisdom and power are found in our bodies. So, anything that connects you with your body. 

I love dance, but even stretching and intuitive movement can be beautiful because it brings you into the felt sense—anything that brings you into the felt sensations of the body. It’s really useful as a feminine practice. If I’m in a morning practice or just moving through my day, I take a few moments to close my eyes and check in on what’s happening in my body. 

The body is a beautiful reference point around your relationship with the feminine and your connection to her.

What sensations can I feel? What energy or emotions are alive? What does my body need? The body is a beautiful reference point around your relationship to the feminine and how connected you are to her, how deeply you’re listening to her, and how deeply you’re feeling her. Anything that helps us get into our bodies. 

I love using self-care and ritual nourishing and nurturing because the feminine is that beautiful energy of love—bringing that love and nurturing energy to ourselves. I love baths. Baths are beautiful for coming into your feminine. Just like a gentle yoga practice, getting a massage, reading a book, sitting in the sun, or swimming in the ocean, all these things allow me to deeply take care of myself. 

I love bringing in other practices. When we bring in our sensuality and five senses, we bring in things like touch, smell, taste, and sound. I love tactile practices, like breast massage, which is beautiful with gorgeous oil. It opens the heart and connects you with the feminine energy of your breasts. Even bringing the massage down to your womb, massaging your whole body, your belly with a gorgeous body oil. It’s one of the ones that I love.

What’s your favorite oil?

It’s a rose oil. The brand is Theseeke. But I love an oil with either a floral or an earthy essential oil scent. It’s such a beautiful way to bring in sensuality.

I used essential oil yesterday because my kid was sick. I had them in the room, but I haven’t used them myself for a while for that purpose.

I even just put a bit of essential oil under my nose before coming here because the smell instantly shifts my energy. There can be so many beautiful ways throughout our day as women that we can have these little touch points of connection to the feminine. It can be in what we choose to wear, like even what I’ve chosen to wear makes me feel feminine. I like the feeling of this outfit.

I really like it.

Thank you. I love my white crochet at the moment. Even having my salt lamp on, I’ve got some beautiful lighting. I can smell the essential oil. I always have music and a nice cup of tea when I work. We’re bringing in the sensual pleasures. It’s very nourishing to our feminine. Those are some of my favorites—embodiment work, tuning into the felt sense, movement, touch, sensuality, and getting out in nature. 

When we see our bodies as an opportunity for deep pleasure, it shifts our relationship with them. Click To Tweet

Nature is so nourishing to our feminine. Get your feet on the earth, get the sun on your skin, swim in the water, and connect with Mother Nature. She is so nourishing as well. 

The final one is menstrual cycle awareness. Become more aware of your feminine cycle, living in deeper alignment with the cycles of your womb and your bleed and the moon, and starting to live more in a feminine cyclical way rather than a masculine, linear way. That’s a beautiful starting point.

That’s really beautiful. What if your body is like my body? It changed a lot in the last few years. She’s not as slim and slender as she used to be. I’ve been struggling with embracing her. It was easier for me to embrace her when I went to an S Factor retreat; it was beautiful and by myself. But now life is very different.

I started taking a lot of conscious effort to lose weight and eat healthier, and I feel much better. I remember embracing her back when she wasn’t the slimmest because we go up and down, and our bodies change. How do you embrace the body when she’s not her ideal weight or ideal form?

This is challenging for women because there are so many messages about how a woman should look and what a body should look like. We feel so much pressure to maintain a particular appearance or size.

We crave realness because seeing it in someone else helps us accept and embrace the realness and imperfection of ourselves.

With all the work I’ve done and everything I teach, I still struggle with those things every once in a while. I have tools. I snap myself out of it quickly, but it is still there.

Sometimes, it may still be there. When we have these patterns that feel alive and present, we don’t want to judge ourselves for them, make ourselves wrong, or think we have to get rid of them. But it’s becoming better and better at witnessing it, knowing how to redirect our focus and energy or support ourselves when it comes up. If we try to get rid of it completely, we’re aiming for perfection. 

The imperfection is knowing that this might come up, but I will love myself through it. I will do my best to support myself when it comes up. Something I find useful, and I’m sure you still do a lot of embodiment-based work, is when we get out of the head and into the body. The times we struggle with our body the most is when we’re in our mind and look at her like this object like she is this thing separate from us.

We’ve got to fix her and control her. We’re judging and looking at her like this versus when you are in your body. You are one with her again. You’re inhabiting her. It becomes more about how it feels to be in my body versus what my body looks like. 

I love using self-love body massage for this as well. It helps you come out of the mind into the heart into the body, to feel like your body is your home and come back into oneness with her, and to bring love to her in whatever way you feel you can. 

Whether massaging coconut oil into your feet, breasts, or belly or doing some mirror work sitting in front of the mirror and giving appreciation and gratitude to what you love about your body. Or you are thanking her for everything that she does for you. Or even asking your body, “How can I love you more? How can I nourish you more? How can I take more care of you?”

Our body is always listening to us. She responds to how we think and feel about her. The more we love and appreciate her, the more she thrives. 

Having an actual relationship with our body where we’re in communication, we’re one with her, helps us come out of that space of separation, nitpicking and control and into more like, “This is my home. How can I come into an even deeper relationship with this beautiful part of myself even when she’s not exactly how I want her to be?”

As the feminine, our wisdom and power are found in our bodies.

With your clients, what shifts did you see with women embracing themselves and their bodies?

It’s being able to find pleasure in the body and freedom in who they are. When we don’t feel comfortable in our appearance or who we are, that completely limits our expression, fullness, experience of life, and freedom. When a woman comes back home just to herself, she feels deeply connected to who she is. She feels safe and at home in her body, and now this aliveness and radiance flow through her because her appearance doesn’t consume all her energy. It’s now flowing through like this river of lifeforce. She’s alive, expressed, embodied, and free. 

Something that helped me with my relationship with my body is finding more pleasure. As a woman, part of our bodies’ purpose is pleasure. When we start to see the body as an opportunity for deep pleasure in every moment, it shifts our relationship to her. 

Pleasure can be found in eating, in what you’re wearing, in what you can smell, and how it feels to be touched, and we start to see the body as like this beautiful doorway into pleasure versus this thing that needs to look a certain way to get love in the world. Such a liberation can happen in a woman from that journey.

When a woman is so radiant, open, and inner feminine, without proper boundaries, this is another doorway to actually getting hurt by the men and women who may be a little jealous. What are your thoughts about that?

That is such a good point because this is a fear that women hold. If I become too radiant, too magnetic, too connected to my lifeforce, I’m going to attract unwanted attention, people are going to be jealous of me, and I won’t be able to stop the amount of energy that’s going to come my way. 

This leads us to talk about the divine feminine because the embodied divine feminine is not just in her full, open, radiant feminine. She also has an inner masculine energy that she has cultivated that’s very healthy. That allows her to be discerning, to have boundaries, and to draw on her divine intuition to protect her. 

When I was doing that work, I had no traumatic experiences but some small experiences where I’d finish a class or a retreat, and I’m huge. But I never thought about putting boundaries, like I’m a radiant sun. Some people don’t like it. It’s like, “Why aren’t you just as sad as I am?” 

Feminine energy is a river, and masculine energy is a riverbank.

Your partner can look at you and say, “Wait a minute. Something’s off. We’re not aligned. Let me say something, subconsciously, to calm her down.” I love what you’re saying about the radiant and that masculine. Those boundaries and that inner voice of intuition to be the embodiment of the feminine do not mean that you just push the masculine aside or push boundaries aside.

When women haven’t got that healthy masculinity, they’ll have the masculine shield, which is like this armor of self-protection, pushing people away to protect themselves. 

Feminine energy can feel vulnerable to be in. It’s an open, receptive energy. Our relationship to our intuition is so incredibly important because if we’re not in our bodies and listening, we’ll miss the red flags, we’ll miss the inner message that says, “Put a boundary,”  or “You need to say no here,” or “This person is trying to take advantage of you. You need to get them out of your life.”

We need to be in our bodies and listen to that divine intuition, then be willing to come in with our inner masculine, take action, say no, put in a boundary, and be discerning. You need that part of you by your side, or else it will feel way too vulnerable and exposing to be in your feminine energy. 

You need to be more like that to get things done. Because when you’re just free-flowing and amazing, you don’t want to do anything. 

Part of feminine work is embracing the full range of feminine energy, which sometimes expresses herself as this beautiful, ethereal, put-together, gorgeous Goddess energy. Click To Tweet

True. We need both energies, and women thrive the most in their feminine energy when they must also develop to be healthy in a masculine. How I see it is that your inner masculine is here to be devoted to your inner feminine. If your inner feminine says, “I desire to create a business in the world where I can serve and support people.” 

If that’s your feminine desire, you need an inner masculine that says, “Okay, sweetheart, let’s do it. I’m going to help you show up and take action. I’m going to help you create a business plan. I will help you put some content out into the world.” Because if you don’t have the inner masculine, you will be there in all your dreamy desires, and nothing will ever happen. The inner masculine, the action taker, the plan, the strategy, and the mental energy are there to serve and support your feminine to have what she desires. 

How do you combine the both? How do you embrace both?

There’s that bit of that journey of understanding these energies in yourself and healing any wounds you have around them. With the masculine, I resisted masculine energy for a long time, like bringing it in myself, because all I knew was wounded masculine. 

Me too.

Yeah. All I knew was if I bring in the masculine energy, he’s just going to push me and force me to do all this stuff, and it will deplete me and burn me out. I don’t want that energy. It’s a little bit of a journey. Part of it was I had to heal my relationship with my dad and his unhealthy masculine energy. 

I started to write out a journal. What does healthy divine masculine energy feel like to me? It feels grounding. It feels clear. It feels structured. It feels directional. It feels like it holds me. If the feminine is the river, the masculine is the riverbank. He holds her, directs her, and lets her know where to go. 

Feminine energy is an open, receptive energy.

Sheila Kelly always talks about the pole as the masculine and the dancer as the feminine, which is like dancing around it. 

Yeah. Without the pole, she should fall over. She’d have nothing to hold on to. She needs that pole for grounding, for stabilization to hold her as she dances. If women struggle with having a healthy masculine within them, ride out some healthy masculine energy that would feel so supportive to your inner feminine, then ask yourself, “How can I cultivate that within myself?”

That meant creating some more systems and structures in my business. I had to build out more practical backend systems and structures because my masculine being was like, “I want to hold your feminine so she can create and make more money.” 

It also looked like I was creating rituals and practices where I set time and space aside for my femininity to be embodied. That’s my masculine, saying, “I’ll set the time and space and make this commitment. And then you can show up in that space.” It’s feeling like what do you need from your inner masculine to feel more safe, more held, more relaxed, more taken care of? Then how can you start to cultivate that inside of you? 

Is saying yes to your dreams a masculine or feminine trait? How do you say yes to your dreams?

It’s both. First, it requires listening from the feminine. You have to receive those dreams. You have to receive those desires. We receive them as they drop into our hearts, wombs, and bodies. We feel them. If we’re not receptive and open, we’ll miss them. We won’t hear what we want to create and birth through us. We have to be in the feminine energy to receive, feel, and connect with the energy of what we want to create. 

If you don’t have the inner masculine, you will be in all your dreamy desires, and nothing will ever happen.

It’s like the woman who carries a baby in her womb. You hold the seed of that desire inside your body. But then what needs to happen to materialize is when your inner masculine says, “Now, how do I show up, take action, move forward, and bring this into the material world?” How your inner masculine shows up must honor what your inner feminine needs. You have to honor your body, what you have the capacity for and what intuitively feels right and aligned. They’re constantly in communication.

The feminine is the holder and the receiver of the desire. Then, the masculine is the part of you that says, “Great! How do we make this happen? What must we do? How can we show up to create this in the world?”

I love it. What are your three top tips for living a stellar life?

That’s a beautiful question. One, is having a deep connection with self. I’m big on having ways to connect with yourself daily. That allows you to listen to your intuition. Listen to your body, connect to your feminine, and live in alignment with your needs. I think a deep connection with self is an incredible foundation.

For women, a connection with your feminine because this is the source of your radiance, your lifeforce, your nourishment. Without a connection with your feminine as a woman, you will become burnt out, depleted, exhausted, and unfulfilled. Reconnecting and reclaiming your feminine essence is part of creating the most magnificent and stellar life possible for yourself.

The third would be claiming what you want and listening to your desires. I know I’d never be here with you if I had been too afraid to follow my desires in my late 20s if I had been too afraid to sign up for life coach training. It takes the courage to listen to what you want, to claim what you want, and to show up even when you’re afraid. That’s how you build a life aligned with what truly makes you happy in life.

Thank you. Where can people find you? What can they do with you? Do you have courses? What do you offer?

Our bodies always listen to us and respond to how we think and feel. The more we love and appreciate our bodies, the more they thrive. Click To Tweet

The best place to find me is on my website, www.conniechapman.com. I also share quite a lot on Instagram, @Connie_Chapman. I also have a podcast as well. I offer a whole range of group programs. I have a program called Divine Femme that takes women on a six-month journey of feminine embodiment and deep healing.

I also have a program called Creatress, a feminine manifestation program, because I want to teach women how to bring the feminine and masculine together to create what they want. I also offer a lot of one-on-one coaching, supporting people individually. Everything I offer is available on my website if people want to learn more.

That’s beautiful. Well, thank you for this lovely conversation. I had a blast. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. And thank you for being here.

My pleasure. I loved talking with you. Thank you so much.

Thank you, listeners. Remember to have a deep connection with yourself. Connect with your feminine essence and your masculine essence. Both men and women need to connect to those parts of us. Live in the light and not in the shadow. Embrace the shadow and live in the light. Claim what you want, listen to your desires, and have a stellar life. This is Orion. Till next time.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓}Embrace your personal development journey. Remain curious. Learn more about yourself and your potential.

{✓}Explore holistic healing and nurturing rituals. Consider various holistic healing methods like yoga, naturopathy, and Reiki to connect with your body and mind.

{✓}Transition to a purpose-driven career: If you’re unhappy with your current job, explore opportunities that align with your purpose and values.

{✓}Balance your masculine and feminine energies. Be aware of your energy balance and learn to embrace both your masculine and feminine sides.

{✓}Learn to receive. Work on your ability to receive support and love, both from within and from others.

{✓}Be authentic and relatable in your interactions with others. Don’t hide your imperfections; they make you human.

{✓}Check in with your body regularly to identify its sensations, emotions, and needs. Engage in activities that bring you into your body, such as intuitive movement.

{✓}Explore sensual practices like using nourishing oils for breast and body massages. Utilize essential oils to shift your energy and enhance your daily experiences.

{✓}Cultivate self-love by engaging in body massages and mirror work. Remember that your body responds to how you think and feel; loving it will help it thrive.

{✓}Visit Connie Chapman’s website and follow her on Instagram. Explore her podcast and other programs offered on her website.

Links and Resources

Connect with Connie Chapman

YouTube Videos

Previous Stellar Life Episode


Further Resources

About Connie Chapman

Connie Chapman is a Women’s Life Coach, Feminine Embodiment Mentor and host of the Awaken Radio podcast.

For the past decade, through her Coaching Programs and Online Courses, she has supported thousands of women on their journey of healing, power reclamation and self-transformation.

Her mission is to help women embody their divine feminine energy and build a loving relationship with themselves to feel confident, worthy, whole and empowered from within and become magnetic to the life and relationships they desire.

Connie’s work is based deeply on her journey, and her unique approach combines intuitive wisdom, transformational coaching skills and somatic healing to create deep and lasting change.

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