Real Talk About Life Mastery with Loren Slocum Lahav

A Personal Note from Orion

Life is full of ups and downs, and Loren Slocum has written so many books on this subject, that she is just the ultimate expert on mastering life’s complexities and living a life full of love, happiness, and courage. She has the formula for you to get what you want, to unleash your inner magic, and most importantly, to spread that magic and joy to others.

My talk with her really cemented how important some daily details can be in reminding ourselves of who we are, and our values. Things like sticking to your morning ritual, or putting on makeup as a sign of femininity, really impact how you carry yourself for the rest of the day. It’s eye opening once you pay attention!

About Today’s Show

‏‏Hi, and welcome to Stellar Life! Today, I have with me Loren Slocum Lahav, CEO and founder of True. She’s a unique international personal development speaker, seminar leader, coach, author, philanthropist, entrepreneur, wife, and mother. Lauren is the founder, chief executive officer, and president of LoBella International, an organization inspired to help women stay true to who they are. She’s committed to helping women realize their true gifts. She has a charity called Elevate, that gives baskets to the homeless and does a lot of wonderful things for people. She’s active with the Tony Robbins Organization and was personally chosen to lead Life Mastery programs. Loren is the author of Life Tuneups, voted by People Magazine as one of the top three books of 2010. She’s the author of The Greatest Love, a co-author of Chicken Soup for the Sou‏‏Time to Thrive, and her new book she’s working on is called Courage to Raise a Gentleman. Hi, Loren and welcome!

‏‏Hi! How are you? I love the title of your show! I love it-Stellar Life. Love it, love it, love it!

‏‏Thank you! I mean, your life is pretty stellar. I’m sure it wasn’t like that always.

‏‏No.

‏‏So, how did you get to be this alpha, extremely awesome, super achiever?

‏‏Well, I don’t know. You know, I saw my parents worked very hard to make sure that we, as kids, had a stellar life. It wasn’t easy growing up. I mean, I’m from a small town in North Carolina. My dad worked every day-he was an optometrist. We lived 45-minutes away from everything, but my parents did whatever they could. Truly, I love the word stellar because I had a stellar life. We would be driving home from school and they would say things like, “We’re going on an adventure!”, but really, we were just driving. It was always about looking for adventure in everything. My parents, I guess, were really good at reframing things without knowing that that’s what they were doing. I think, for me, it was always about, “How can I add more value?”

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏My parents were always big-time philanthropists who were always giving back. We worked with the blind growing up. We’re selling light bulbs for the blind and selling brooms, or whatever we could do.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏So, I think, for me, if you think about what’s happened, I think that my parents had a really great foundation, but you’re right-it hasn’t always been easy, but I don’t think easier is always better. I would say, foundationally, it was my parents who set that set belief in my head that we were blessed.

‏‏And do you still see everything as an adventure?

‏‏Do I still see everything as an adventure? Yes, I actually do. It’s funny because I catch myself saying things to my kids like, “This is an adventure!” Some adventures are scary, some adventures are fun, some adventures are pure relaxation, but I think that I have kind of tried to look at it in that way as it’s an adventure and that we’re going to enjoy it through the good times, the bad times, and the hard times. You know, what goes up must come down and what goes down must come up.

What goes up must come down and what goes down must come up. Click To Tweet

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏I think that I always knew that I had to keep looking forward. One of my favorite lines that I remember from my first Tony Robbins event-it’s actually a free event that Tony used to do about 25 years ago-was when he said, “Don’t let your rearview mirror be your guide,” And I’ve always looked at that. I mean, there’s some wonderful things about my past, but there are some things that I can’t use moving forward that’s going to get me to where I’m committed to going.

‏‏Yeah. Can you share one of your scariest adventures? How did you get over it?

‏‏Scariest adventure? Well, obviously, it was-I was married for 18 years and I realized that our lives were going parallel, and on my 45th birthday, I was at the Wailing Wall in Israel, and I decided I needed to make a shift. My kids were very young and I was, obviously, as comfortable and I think “comfortable” though is probably the most dangerous place to be lots of times because you’re not really growing. I knew that something had to shift, not just for me but for him as well, for both of us to grow. It was a pretty expensive lifestyle that I had, I would say, for my kids because they were all three and in private schools. I was traveling. I think things always work out, but I look at it now and I’m like, “Geez!” It was really less than four years ago. Four years ago, I freaking have more months at the end of the money and I was pawning my stuff but I knew that I was going to be able to get through it. I knew what made me successful and some things were the same thing and I think it’s really that hunger. I look now and I just look like, “Oh my God! It’s so unbelievable-my life!”

‏‏Wow.

‏‏Truly! Today, I went shopping with my son. We were at Sprout, which is like Whole Foods. I’m like, “Get whatever you want. Get what you need,” and here we are. I remember just a couple years ago and going, “Oh my God!” because I can really only spend a certain amount of money. I couldn’t say that all the time. I’d go to the grocery store without them because I didn’t want them to pick up things that maybe I couldn’t handle.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏It’s interesting. From the outside, people have looked and go, I was doing well. I mean, I was doing well but it still wasn’t enough to keep what I needed to for my kids and where they were with their activities. I mean, my son plays lacrosse. It’s not a cheap sport so you know, I think that all of those things just gave me that hunger to create a stellar life. I mean, why wait? We’re healthy, we’re happy, we’re intelligent, and we’re hungry so I knew that it was in me, I just need to access more of it.

‏‏Right. When I met you-I think it was five years ago-when I met you personally, it was when I crewed at Unleash the Power Within.

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏You were helping and leading the volunteers, and the volunteers for that event was around 400 people?

‏‏Yeah, about 400.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏I pretty much, 26 years ago, when we were doing UPW’s, I started looking around to see what needs to be filled, and I went to Tony, and I’m like, “Look, let’s create a community within a community,” because I do believe that, for all of us, it’s the community that helps us achieve anything that we want and everything in our life. I think sometimes, we don’t call on the tribe to really say, “Hey, you know what? Here’s what I’m up to. Here’s what I would like to create for my life,” so I think it’s beautiful to see how it’s growing from literally, 35 people-we were dragging people to crew events and now, there’s a waiting list.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏That’s been my baby for 26 years.

‏‏How did you build a community like that?

‏‏I think that you add more value. I think he biggest thing was, people were coming-they are all of you, guys, since you were graduates of the program and you know how much you got out of it and we always know that we will do more for others than we’ll do for ourselves, so being able do to that-people wanted to come back and serve, and then-but adding value by helping people find their gifts. I mean, I can’t tell you how many people-just to name a few, a lady named Ann McAdoo, her and her mom were just amazing crew members and when we were launching Life Mastery, they said we could have three crew members come over. We went to Fiji, Ann and her mom came, and John Burgess, who’s a trainer now. John was doing the music and Ann, she was transcribing in the back of the room, and Tony walked in the room and goes, “I need her!” I’m like, “Tony, we’ve got three crew members!” He goes, “But I need her! I’m working on my book!” and I’m like, “I need her! I need her to run the event!” and he goes, “You’ll be fine!” Next thing I know, Ann’s gone for two weeks, and she went to go work with Tony on his book. Now, Ann, what she does is, help people write books.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏I love to help people find their gifts. That fires me up. I’m working with a girl now. She’s a health coach-well, she’s not just a health coach. She has this amazing dog that she does everything with and the more I dug into her story, I found out that she’s cooked every day since she was 18…

‏‏Wow!

‏‏Every day! She’s an attorney. I mean, her story is unbelievable and now, she’s putting together this awesome book for women, dogs, and just what you can do with your dog. Now, she’s 36 or 37 years old so I love to help people kind of unleash their magic that’s within them.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏And that’s what the crew really did for me. I look at somebody and I’d be like, “I’d like to”-you know, for their positions, I would go, and “Where would I like to see that person? Would I like to see that person greeting somebody or maybe that person needs to be behind the scenes?” Whatever that it is and I think that’s the power of questions. I think lots of times, people don’t get curious enough and for me, the crew was about this opportunity just to help people find their gifts. The best story, honestly, is Gary King.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏He came to an event about 26 years ago and we used to give out two pieces of fruit and I said, “Gary, I need you to guard the fruit so that the 2,000 people get their two pieces of fruit.” The next thing I knew, Gary had people making like little water guns guarding the fruit and they made fruit guard name tags so then, everybody wanted to be on the freaking fruit guard team. Like I said, you make it fun for people and you make them feel important. How many times in life do we just don’t feel important?

‏‏Right.

‏‏That’s what I’d love to see more of in the world.

‏‏How do you make somebody feel important?

‏‏I think you have to understand what’s important and I think that for a lot of people, they don’t need much. I think the love language-the five love languages-is so important so words of affirmation, deeds of service, physical touch, quality time, and gifts, right? Those are the things. I would say really, really listen and understand what someone’s love languages is because it’s so, so, so important. I’ve prided myself on making sure that I did that-making sure people knew how important they were and that they were the difference that made the difference.

Listen and understand what someone’s love languages is.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏I’m looking right now at a painting. A lady came up and we didn’t have a lot of crew members back then and this was 26 years ago-I’ll look at the painting-yeah, 26 years ago. We didn’t have trainers-really, like a lot of trainers at the event-and this lady came running out of the room, and I was kind of new to the environment, and I just listened to her. She came running of the room during the processes, and I just sat, talked to her, and asked her name. I asked her who she was there with and what she was expecting-you know, I just cared about her. She asked me, she goes, “What’s your favorite animal?” and I said, “A rhinoceros,” then she goes, “What’s your favorite color?” and I go, “Purple and bright blues,” and at the time, I was working full-time at Robbins, and about three weeks later, this big box arrives, it was a painting of this rhinoceros in purples and blues.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏And she goes, “You were so helpful and I just want you to have this painting.” I looked at her name and she’s a lady named Betsy Fowler, and her husband is Jim Fowler from Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏The painting went on-I have the original-but it went on and they sold prints of the painting, and it’s all because you just take a couple minutes to actually-sorry-give a shit about people.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏I didn’t have to run after her, but I wanted to. I thought it was my responsibility. To have 400 people there and they are just servant leaders, that’s amazing.

‏‏Right

‏‏They take the time away, they pay for their own rooms, pay for their own food, and get their flights. I mean, those are the kind of people I want to be around with-people who are just really to serve.

‏‏How did you start with Tony Robbins? How did you start leading Life Mastery?

‏‏Well, it’s a very interesting story. I was in college at the University of Georgia, and my boyfriend, at the time, and I were walking back from a football game, and he saw this book called Unlimited Power. He goes, “Oh my God, that’s so you!” and I’m like, “Whatever!” We went into the bookstore and he flips the book and said, “One day, we’re going to go to one of these Tony Robbins’ seminars,” and I’m like, “No, we’re not.” He flips the book over and on the back, at the time, was a picture of Tony in a full three-piece suit, he’s walking on the coals, and here I am-I’m conservative and from North Carolina-and I’m like, “I am not walking on coals. I’m not going to some freaking Tony Robbins seminar,” but I took the book and I graduated from college. I was a journalism major and was offered a really great job in Atlanta, but I’m kind of a rebel so I moved to Colorado to waitress. I waited on tables and just took a little bit of a break because I’d worked really hard in school. One day, this group of men came in-I wanted to get into sports marketing-and it turned out, it was the world of sports who was sitting at my table. This man said, “My name is Joe Harper. I’m general manager of the Del Mar Thoroughbred Club. I want you to come work for me,” and I looked at him and I’m like, “Where is Del Mar?” and he goes, “You’re perfect!” I didn’t know who anybody was. I was waiting on a lot of celebrities at the restaurant I worked at, but I didn’t know who they were. One of my tables, this guy, everybody kept looking at this guy, and I’m like, “I’m so sorry they keep looking at you. They think you’re Omar Sharif!” and he goes, “I am Omar Sharif!” I don’t really care. I just treated everybody the same. The guy goes, “When can you move?” and I go, “I don’t know,” and my manager goes, “She can move next week!” We drove down to California and I ended up with a job that I’m very grateful for. I thought it was like, “the” job, but when I got there, it felt like “a” job. On Thanksgiving 1989, somebody invited me to go deliver food to the homeless on Thanksgiving and like I said, I have a very strong contribution foundation and beliefs for myself, I ended up at this castle in Del Mar, and everybody had a big house in Del Mar, and this one just was in the shape of a castle, and afterwards, I’m walking through the turret of the castle, and I see this guy-this guy, Nelson Mandela; this guy, Michael Jackson-and then, I get to this shadow box of a book and I’m like, “Oh my God, that’s the book I have!” Tony was only 29 at the time. Tony walks up to me and he goes, “You read my book?” and I’m like, “I have your book but I haven’t read it,” and I’m like, “Oh my God, that wasn’t very nice to say to this guy!” He invited me to stay for Thanksgiving dinner. They are about 25 people there. We were sitting around the room, my friend and his cute friend was with him, and all these other people. The cute guy goes, “What’s she doing here?” and I’m like, “I don’t know. That big guy invited me here!” He goes, “This is Tony Robbins’ company!” I’m like, “Okay, dude, calm down!” Tony asked each person to stand up and say what they were most grateful for. I stood up and I said that I’m grateful I met a group of people finally like this. I didn’t think that they were out there. I was only 24 and I’ve given up hope. Anyway, I went back and I went to-Tony talks a lot about your six human needs: your need for certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, growth, and contribution. I was just trying to stay above ground in southern California so I went back working my jobs, but I knew those people were out there. About six months later, I ended up moving in with my friend who invited me for Thanksgiving. I walked in my room one night after coming back from work and there’s this guy in my room, and it turns out, my roommate was renting the room to me and renting it to someone else, and it was the cute guy from Thanksgiving, who’s the father my kids now.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏Then I went on the road and supported him and then they asked me to come in-house and to corporate. I worked in the production department, planning all the UPW’s, setting up the rooms, and doing all the stuff to set-up for an event. That’s when the crew happened. How many years ago was it? It was 14 years ago when Tony and Sage asked me to take the family and move to Fiji and launch the new Life Mastery program so over the past 14 years, for two years straight, we talked about 36 one-week-long seminars a year.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏It was like Groundhog Day but wonderful because you’re meeting wonderful people like you, guys. I’m back. I leave actually on Tuesday to go teach a program again in Fiji and yeah, it’s pretty, but now I do it because I want to do it, not because I have to do it. Does that make sense?

‏‏Yeah!

‏‏And I think that’s really for a stellar life. It’s about doing the things because you want to do them and not because you have to do them. If I look at three, four, five years ago, I went through my divorce six years ago, but if I were to look six, five, four years ago, I did stuff because I had to do it.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏But I actually even gave up some things because I knew I had to clean up my own backyard before I cleaned up the community. I wanted to make sure I was 1000% congruent. I had some coaching clients that I’ve worked with and I told him, “Look, I need to put everything on hold,” and they’re like, “Don’t you need the money?” I’m like, “Yeah, I need to make sure that I’m not teaching the lesson. I need to learn most!”

‏‏Wow.

‏‏So, that was a big stretch, but I think now, it was the right thing to do. I think when you’re doing the right thing, you don’t have to worry about anything.

‏‏Wow. But isn’t it true that sometimes you just, especially for people who start, you have to do what you have to do?

‏‏You have to do what you have to do! I mean, I look at my kids every day and even just last night, this keeps me hungry every day. I mean, being able to go last night to a dinner with my daughter, watching my son at his game, and watching my other son video him-being able to say “yes” to them to do what they got to do, it’s worth it. I am so glad that I have a great work ethic. I think if there’s anything that I would say is the most important thing you can teach your kids or yourself, it’s to really establish a great work ethic and get hungry. Not to get hungry just for stuff or anything like that, but to be able to give the way you want to give. We just planned the St Jude event. It’s almost two million dollars a day to run St Jude Hospital.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏Two million dollars a day! I was at this gala. It’s my 8th year being on the board and we work all year long planning for that gala to raise money. That’s the goal. To see people, I’m like, “Look, guys, if you’re going to give, now is the time to give!” I do the things I want to do so that I can give more, so I can be more, so that I can experience more, whatever that it is. Every time I go to Fiji, I take an extra suitcase full of things that I know they can use. They just went through the worst cyclone ever. People lost everything, but it’s beautiful because what they believe is, they don’t say, “Poor us!” They don’t say, “God, why us?” They say, “You know what? We realize the power of God!” so just their belief about that, right? A lot of people go, “Why me?”

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏It’s kind of like-you know this from Kabbalah, right?

‏‏Yup.

‏‏It’s the 99%. It’s what we can’t see, hear, feel, or touch that is so powerful. The experiences that come together, I mean. I think that we just have to tap into more tap into more.

It’s what we can’t see, hear, feel, or touch that is so powerful. Click To Tweet

‏‏Right, and like you said, talking about Kabbalah, I was about to bring it up because it reminded me something that I just learned from my last class, which is Tikkun, which is the fixing of the soul. Like, why do our come here? A lot of people feel a void because they have gifts and talents that are not manifested. They go and they buy another car, they go and buy a nice house, and they still feel emptiness because their gifts are not fulfilled and they’re not manifesting what they’re here to do.

‏‏Yup. So, my tikkun was that I guess, I’m a Scorpio, and Scorpios are really good at organizing events. We’re really good at putting things together. If you tell us to put together an event, we can create it in a minute.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏So that was an easy thing for me to do. I mean, if someone said you had to throw a big party in two hours, I’d figure out how to do it, make it happen, and not stress about it, right?

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏Actually, I had to do that a couple weeks ago. I didn’t have to but I chose to for a friend of mine. She was here in town and they were about to spend $15,000 on food and I’m like, “You don’t have to spend $15,000 on food. We can cater that! We can do that for $500 a day,” and I’m like, “Oh my God, what am I doing?” because I’m leaving to go out of town to go to New York, but I set it up. While I was in New York, I was arranging the food to be made and delivered, but that’s easy for me.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏Like I said, what’s easier is not better. I found out that my lesson and I need to be out more in front. Not for the ego, but for my correction, right? That was the big thing for me. I’m like, “No, no, no. That’s not me. That’s somebody else’s job to do. I’ll just organize everything behind the scenes.” I know that because you got to do the work, even when it’s scary-and the work is scary.

‏‏How did you do it when you first had to lead a three-day seminar? How did you do that?

‏‏How did I do it? I think the biggest thing for me was, I really believe that how you start your day is the most important thing that you can do. I started to really believe, live, make those rituals a-must, right?

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏I mean, I would say that I would appreciate something in nature. I’d say, “Today’s going to be the best day of my life again!” I’m loving, I’m honest, I’m caring, I’m full of faith, I’m God’s girl, I kick ass, and may whatever that comes through me serve the greater good. I’d start filling myself up to give myself the confidence. I think a lot of us we have to realize that it just has to flow through us. When we try to push it, it’s not going to happen. I think that I just kind of gave it over to something bigger than myself. I need to remember that my intentions are good. I need to remember that my intentions are to serve. This is not about me. This is about what the lesson and the message is that I need to help share. I’m the messenger, not the message, and all those all those type of things. I do that every day. I look and if you can see all my stuff, I look. I think it’s very important that whatever you see first thing in the morning better inspire you. Right now, as we’re doing this, I’m looking out over the golf course, I see the birds, I see my dogs outside, and that inspires me.

It’s very important that whatever you see first thing in the morning better inspire you.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏It’s a beautiful day and I maximize those resources. To my right is this cute little painting that my daughter did, and pictures of my kids, my little angel card I pulled, and I make sure I have water around me. I do all of these things to fill myself up. I think, sometimes, we just take these things for granted.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏I mean, the lady that had to sell us her home-she had to sell her home because she couldn’t walk up the steps.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏She had her fourth kid and now, I guess, she came by, and they brought another house down the street. She’s like, “Wow, man!” and now, they bought another house, but I think she’s like, “Wow, I just really took for granted the beauty that there was from this home,” when they assessed the home .

‏‏Yeah, we’re about to get a new apartment and to rent a new place. We saw some really gorgeous apartments but the view was so bad. I was like, “I can’t live here.” I need to see something green. I need something open that just expands my soul when I get up in the morning and see beauty.

‏‏I agree! I mean, for me, it’s an absolute must. I would rather have something that, like you said like, I wake up, and I’m like, “Thank you, God!” I look up and I look down, I keep the curtains open-I’m up at five-and I’m like, “Let’s do it!” I look out and go, “My God, it’s a beautiful day. Thank you, God! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” That’s how you got to start your day.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏You can try to push yourself all you want to make it happen, but you’ve got to inspire you.

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏I think that we’re waiting for this inspiration, but you got to be the inspiration for yourself.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏I mean, how are you going to have any impact on anybody unless you inspire yourself? That’s what keeps me to-look, there’s a lot of stuff I still need to work on. I need to really learn how to love to exercise when it’s 100-degrees outside and I want to go outside.

‏‏That’s hard.

‏‏Yeah. I mean, I’ve got work to do too. I’m not saying that I’m so perfect, but I’ve definitely made certain things more of a priority by being savvier about some things. There’s a lot of people who have been in my life who I’ve enabled some behavior, and I’m like, “You know what? Nope!” I’ve got to really look at what’s most important to me in relationships and the people that I’m with. That’s why we’re friends, right? I mean, I have lots of people who want me to do something. I want to be with people who I know they’re really walking to the top.

‏‏Oh, I love that-and thank you!

‏‏It’s true.

‏‏Do you have one morning ritual that you do every morning or does it change every day?

‏‏No, I have a ritual that I do every morning. Every morning, I wake up and I say, “Today is going to be the best day of my life again!” I go, I look at all my stuff, I go into the bathroom, and I have my manifestation board that really is more about who I need to become and what parts of me do I need to access. I look there and I look at my six-month and my twelve-month results that I’m committed to. As I’m brushing my teeth and getting dressed, I’m doing all of those things during my NET time, right? No extra time. I can be brushing my teeth, looking at my manifestation board, and thinking about what I need to do today to make those things happen. Sure, I may look like a big craft store and my poor husband uses all my stuff everywhere, but you know what? It makes me feel good, it keeps me going, and it keeps me in state. I take everything on the road. I don’t just leave it in my bathroom and not take it with me. I have one when I’m traveling-pictures of my kids and my family that I take on the road with me.

‏‏I love that! Because I travel so much and I tend to forget. I have the vision board in my bedroom, but then when I travel, I never take it with me. I just had like, an “aha!” moment. Aha! I should definitely do that!

‏‏Yeah. Take a picture of it and put on your phone, or make a traveling one. I just have it shrunk down. I laminate mine so I just take a picture of it and I have them shrink it down.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏I love it! I mean, it’s fun! And here’s the other thing, I always invite people to my home. It drives my husband crazy, but I want them to know that I’m really living it and that I’ve got crap going on-two dogs barking, a sixteen-year-old dog that still has accidents in the home and I’m still mopping it up-but I want them to know that I’m real. That’s super important for me-to make sure that people know that, “Gosh, she’s got drama too!”

‏‏I remember you taught us a song at Life Mastery-“Every little cell of my body is happy.”

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏Every little cell of my body is well-did I say the right words?

‏‏Yeah. Every little cell in my body is happy, every little cell in my body is well, I’m so glad, every little cell in my body is…

‏‏Happy and well!

‏‏I do that too! It’s just about making it a part of your identity versus an excuse of why you don’t have time to do it. Look, my kids see me do it and they teach their friends to do it. I believe that a great leader is a great duplicator so if I can teach people things that they can go home and teach others then, I’ve done my job. I think that’s really what’s important for all of us. Our jobs should be to be a great duplicator. To leave a legacy that people will always remember, right?

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏So, yeah, I guess that’s my mission. For me, I look and I hear my son-Josh, who’s going to be 20-and what do I teach at Life Mastery? I teach people the importance of pooping. And now, his hashtag on Facebook is, “Let Josh help you poop!” I don’t think that he would have thought that that was going to be his hash tag or anything, but that’s part of his identity now. He helps people have a healthy life.

‏‏So, for people who don’t know, what is Life Mastery about?

‏‏Basically, it’s laying a strong foundation for your life-physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationships. Tony and Sage designed the program because we used to do a program at Fiji every year-I’m sorry, not Fiji but Hawaii-and the last time we did that program, we had about 3,500 people from around the world. We were there during 9/11 and some of the speakers couldn’t get in. They were thinking, “Do we go on with the program, or do we just stop the program?” and everybody’s like, “Keep going with the program.” They brought certain speakers in via satellite and some of the speakers were actually better via satellite than they were alive. Tony’s like, “I’ve got a resort in Fiji. I’ve got great content!” so he created this one-week long cleanse as the foundations so we do colonics and we do wheat grass. Tony sent us to the Wigmore Institute where we learned everything about wheat grass and more. We learned all about rebounding, we learned all about the lymphatic system, we learned iridology, and we learned everything. We were there with people who were truly-that was their last resort. For a lot of those people, they were stage 3 or 4 cancer, people with auto-immune disorders, or whatever the challenges were but, it was so severe that that was their last resort. He had us learn this information so that we would go back and teach it. I already had some nutrition background so yeah, that’s how it started, but it’s awesome. It’s a great program. I say, when you get your body out of the way, your spirit can start to move through you again.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏And people just get so caught up in life that they forget. They’re unconscious. They’re not mindful about decisions that they made or people that they hang around. The reason, I think, so many people have the challenges that have is because they’re not mindful and one day they go, “What the heck am I doing? What is going on?” I think what it does is, it helps people wake up, but the thing is, you got to stay awake because it’s easy to fall back asleep and get back on that wheel. My passion is helping people stay awake, honestly. I think that’s what your passion is too. Maybe in a different-how do you keep them awake? Learn something new, take one distinction out of things, then you’ve done a good job.

‏‏Right. You achieved so many things in your life-more than many people will ever achieve actually already. How do you all that with like, being a mom, traveling, doing programs for other people and your own programs, and coaching people? How, how, and how?

‏‏I want my kids to be the reason and not the excuse. I hear so many people go, “Oh, I can’t do it until my kids are this age,” but when they get that way, they go, “Oh, I can’t do this because of this!” I’ll never forget a friend of mine-we’re planning the trip to Africa and we’re going to go work in Malawi with the Spirituality for Kids Program. Asher was just, maybe, nine months old and my friend was like, “I can’t do it. I just need to do it later!” and I’m like, “We need to go! Who’s to know if these kids are even going to be around if we don’t go? We can save someone’s life!” I always make sure that when I do go away, I make sure to let my kids know that they’re going with me as well. That I share the stories about how I talk about them and how proud I am of them. It’s not like, “Mommy is leaving us!” It’s like, “Oh, mom is going to share how cool and how great her kids are!” I want my kids to look and know that I’m living my dream as well and when I’m with them, I’m really, really well with them. It’s not just “We’re just here,” we’re with each other and we’re present in each other’s lives. I wrote my first book when Joshua was just a couple months old. I mean, it’s 20 years ago. I remember-I won’t use any names or whatever-but, I remember someone said, “What are you doing writing a book?” and I’m just kind of like, “Whatever!” It was 20 years ago so not your everyday person was writing a book and I was like, I think it’s a message that needs to be heard.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏So, I just started writing and I just had this belief in my head that a major publisher was going to pick it up. I knew that if I just had a lot done, if I got the testimonials done, if I got the book laid out, and if I really went for it, someone will pick it up.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏I do believe big time in manifestation. That’s my passion-boards. I was like, “This person is going to do a testimonial!” “This person’s going to do this!” Last weekend, when the one that I asked-I asked her to do a testimonial for my book was Dr. William Sears, who’s known as America’s pediatrician. I’ll never forget it. It was March 19th. I remember sending Dr. Sears a copy of the transcript and I’m like, “You helped me in so many ways-what to do to have a baby.” I said, “I’m going to write a book about how to be.” Two days later, after I sent it to him, a FedEx came back with a testimonial from the book.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏And here I am, 20 years later, I invited him to the St. Jude event.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏He’s sitting at the same table with me and goes, “Loren, did you know that your book is in my private library of favorite books?” and I’m like, “Oh my Gosh!”

‏‏Wow.

‏‏I think it’s just putting that intention, but then you got to get off your ass and do something.

‏‏Right.

‏‏You got to go to work. You got to do work. It’s not just come a come to you if you don’t do the work.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏I like that. I like to know that at the end of my life-it’s an Erma Bombeck quote-it’s like: At the end of my life, I hope to slide into heaven and God will know that I used every ounce of talent that He gave me.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏Right?

‏‏Yes.

‏‏I want to play full-out. I want to live life. I mean, that’s what fires me up. The hard times-oh my gosh-I think because of the hard times, I finally become the woman I want to be. As, I think, I share with somebody else’s. There’s a book that’s called, The Prayer of Jabez, and in the first line of the prayer of Jabez is, “God bless me, indeed,” meaning, we’re here to be happy. We’re not here to be miserable in our lives. The second line though is, “and expand my territory.” That doesn’t mean mean it’s going to be all rosy and all fabulous. It says, “Make me more so that I can handle more situations; make me stronger so that I can deal with those things.”

‏‏Yeah, because the more you grow, the challenges grow with you. It never gets easier, right? It just gets bigger.

‏‏And different kinds of challenges, right? We’re talking about something not to disrespect for anybody who is struggling, but there are some things that when you start to make more money, you have like, a “rich man” challenges.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏So, what can you do? I mean, it’s a challenge. We have a great rental but now, in North Carolina, they want to ban rentals, right? We can still rent it out, but only a month at a time-but those, thank goodness, we can cover the mortgage-so those are different kinds of challenges versus just having to pay your mortgage, right? Being able to own a second home and okay, dealing with a challenge that they want to shut the RBO down or Airbnb down-okay, we can still rent it out and we have mortgages, but a lot of people have to deal with just being able to pay the mortgage.

‏‏Right. I’m just writing my book. I’m in the middle of writing my book. It’s called, Unleashing Your Inner Superhero. The question like, who am I? Even though, I think the book is good so far. I enjoy reading it and other people do too-but the questions like, Who am I to write a book? Who would even listen to me? That comes up from me a lot, I noticed.

‏‏Let it go.

‏‏Who will publish it?

‏‏Let it go! Honestly, I believe that everybody should write a book. I think that there’s a story in all of us and each of us. I remember when I was dating my husband. I met him at baggage claim for anybody who wonders how you can meet somebody after. I met him when I was at the lowest of lowest points, probably, in my life and it sucked. I mean, I’ll be honest. When you met me, it was a very tough time when you met me. It probably was the toughest times. It was five years ago. That was pretty much one of the worst times in my life.

‏‏Well, you pulled it together very well because I didn’t see it.

‏‏I remember that even though it was a hard time in my life, and we haven’t really made a commitment to each other because we were just dating. Girls were calling him or whatever and I remember saying to myself, and I said to him, I go, “Dude, you don’t get it!” He goes, “What?” I go, “I’m a freaking catch!”, and he started laughing. I said, “No, no, no, no! You don’t get it. I’m the freaking catch of the century!” Now, could I have said something like, “Oh my God, I’ve got three kids!” “No guy’s going to want to be with me,” “I’m in my mid-40’s,” I mean, I just turned 50 in November and honestly, I feel better at 50 than I did in my 20’s, but could I be comparing myself to other people? I think, the biggest-probably, the biggest-thing that will steal your dreams is comparing yourself to others, Orion.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏And instead of like, “I’ve got a great story to be told!” and so he laughed and I’m like, “No, I’m the freaking catch of the century.” I go, “If you don’t get it, that is totally cool, there is a whole line of guys who totally want to go out with me!” I didn’t know that or if that was a case, but in my head, I finally had that confidence, even though things weren’t perfect. Even though, I had more month at the end of the money. Even though, I was whatever. I was just doing whatever that I could, but I really did, at that moment, started to know that I had something to share. I still believe that I’m a freaking catch.

‏‏Yes, you are.

‏‏So, for you, as a superhero, for your book-that’s their crap. If people go, “Why are you writing?”, or if you catch yourself. Do you have a pen with you right now?

‏‏I do.

‏‏Okay, great! So, here’s what you’re going to do. When you catch yourself saying, “Who am I to be writing this superhero book? Why me? What’s my story?” just grab your left hand-are you left-handed or right-handed?

‏‏Right-handed.

‏‏Great! So, with your right hand, grab your pen in your hand, and on your palm of your inside hand write this: S-T-O-P. Stop! So, every time, you feel like you’re going to catch yourself saying that thing like, “Why am I doing this stuff?” Just stop! You know what? The reason I’m going to write this is because there’s a superhero that’s waiting to be unleashed in all of us. Why am I doing this? Because I know that the superhero that got me through the tough times is blah-blah-blah. I actually have this-I just put it on. I haven’t worn in a while, but my son actually mentioned it yesterday. I have this really cool Tiffany, silver-it looks like one of Wonder Woman’s cuffs-

‏‏I love it!

‏‏I haven’t worn it in a long time and yesterday, I pulled it out. It’s funny because I’m wearing it right now.

‏‏I think I’ve seen you wearing that.

‏‏Right? And my son goes, “Oh, I haven’t seen you wear that in a long time!” I said, “It’s time for me to put on my Wonder Woman cuff and get busy!” Those things are great anchors for us to really take action.

‏‏Right.

‏‏So, maybe you have something that you need to teach everybody about unleashing their superhero. What is it? Is it taking a towel, wrapping it around your neck, and making that your cape? I don’t know, right? You don’t know what it is, right?

‏‏Yeah, the process that I teach is actually to create and visualize a personal superhero and then have a physical anchor like a bracelet.

‏‏Absolutely! Yup, so I, literally, am wearing my Wonder Woman bracelet-my Tiffany cuff. Every time, when one of my businesses, any time the ladies reach a certain level, they all get that bracelet for them to realize that they kicked ass.

‏‏Yeah.

‏‏Time to step into that superhero!

‏‏Right. You know, what I love about you the most?

‏‏What?

‏‏It’s how true, authentic, and straightforward you are. Those are hard to find in people. You teach a lot about that when it comes to you helping women be more empowered or with brands or businesses. Can you talk a little bit about that?

‏‏So funny! It makes me smile because I remember just as a little girl, I was so not that because I just held back and now I’m like, “This is me!” One of my favorite quotes is: To be a person you’re not is to waste the person you are. I think that we’re so busy trying to make everybody else happy that we end up making ourselves miserable. I think, for me, I’m just like, “This is me!” Take it or leave it-this is me. I think there’s a part of everybody that wants to just do it.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏But either they are in need for external love-I think when I really, really, really, really started to love myself and as corny as it might sound, but when I really started to love myself I didn’t worry so much about what people are going to think because they’re going to think something about me, anyway. They’re going to make a judgment, anyway. They’re going to judge me, anyway. I know that when my intention is good then, I’m doing the right thing. When you’re doing good business, you’re doing the right thing. I’ve seen so many women who get so locked into their roles that they really forget who they are at their core.

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏It’s our responsibility to help unleashed that for each other. You know, what you really see in them so I think bringing the dance back and the beauty back, we are flow as women. We need to bring that flow back to our life. That’s what men love-it’s when they see the flow.

‏‏And how do you manage to dance between the Loren who is super hardcore, go-getter, and producer with the Loren who’s sweet, soft, loving, flowing, and feminine?

‏‏That’s a great question. I think it depends. One, I do like to dress feminine, right? I have certain anchors for myself that remind me to stay feminine, if you would. That’s why I like lots of bracelets and the sound of bracelets when they’re clicking together.

‏‏Yeah, that’s something-when I think about you, I can actually hear your bracelets.

‏‏There you go! That reminds me that kind of-I think of like a dancer and I love the bracelets. I wear big hoops. That, for me, I’m not saying every woman needs to wear big hoops and wear bracelets, but for me, those two things, keep me-you probably saw the ankle that I have. I have a heart with a peace sign in the middle and that reminds me of a grateful heart. Be grateful. Those are kind of my anchors for myself to stay in flow, but then you see me with jeans and boots and whatever black. I like that, but I also know when it’s time to-if think about like goddesses, right?

‏‏Mm-hmm.

‏‏There’s Athena and she’s the protector and she’s got to make stuff happen so, I put on my Athena, but also Athena is also very beautiful still with her armor and she’s still in flow, but then, when my husband comes home or I’m around with my husband, I’m all girl. I turn into Venus. When I’m in the bedroom, hopefully, Aphrodite comes out, so I know how to dance with my different goddesses as different parts of me, but so many times, women bring home Athena to the bedroom.

‏‏It’s only good in some cases.

‏‏In some cases! Yeah, exactly! But knowing how to dance with that and there are some times where I need to command a room, or sometimes, when I needed to go with the flow, I’m also known as the ‘Ocean of Emotion’. I’ll kick you in the butt, but I’ll hug you at the same time. What you see at an event is the same person you’re going to see at my house. There are certain things. I think, also setting boundaries is really important. I would say, my relationship and my marriage for 18 years, which I’m very grateful for. My three, beautiful, amazing children. I would definitely say, I was-what would you call it-passive aggressive. I didn’t speak out. With certain things, I was so afraid that he wouldn’t love me if I did certain things so I never really spoke up whereas, in my relationship now, I’m very current. I’m like, “That was really not cool!” or “You don’t talk to me that way,” or “That was not okay,” and we have that mutual respect with each other versus just kind of holding it in.

‏‏Right.

‏‏And I do that even with other things now. It created that safe space for me that it was okay to say that and be that way. It wasn’t a challenge about my relationship, it was a challenge about me in my first relationship. I was so scared and I didn’t have the confidence that I thought that I did. I’ve really blossomed because of those tough times.

‏‏Right. What are your three tips to living a stellar life?

‏‏Three tips? Be happy. I think just being happy is so important. Just being grateful for what you do have in your life. Be grateful for the good times, the bad times, and the hard times. Be grateful for everything that’s happened thus far. I think having a vision, work, and making it happen. I say, vision plus GOYA equals manifestation so, have a vision. Third is, think about somebody other than yourself. Think about who can you help and who can you serve. By, maybe, one you deciding to have a stellar life or live a stellar life, who’s going to be changed and whose life are you going to make better? Because you just made a decision to be that example for people and people look at you and go, “I want some of that!” And when they look, it’s hot and they go, “Wow! I want that!” Be the change, as Gandhi would say.

Be grateful for what you do have in your life. Be grateful for the good times, the bad times, and the hard times. Be grateful for everything that’s happened thus far. Click To Tweet

‏‏I love it! Thank you so much. I’m enjoying speaking with you so much. It’s so wonderful! I’m sure people will want more of what you have to offer. Where can they find you? I know you have a membership website. Where can they find you?

‏‏We’ve got a lot of great things happening. I’m super excited. My son and I are launching a big campaign this month, actually. It’s his idea-about pretty much with launching this Courage to Raise a Gentleman-he wants to do a series of things that why he is the gentleman that he is so we’re going to be doing some fun series like the efforts to teach your kids. Are you your mother? We’re going to be doing some sessions and some webinars about that. You can find out about that in the next couple weeks on LorenSlocum.com-that’s L-O-R-E-N-S-L-O-C-U-M dot com. Thank you so much! I’m so excited for you, guys! You’re such a beautiful couple and you have to come visit!

‏‏I’d love to!

‏‏Yeah. Just stay true to yourself.

‏‏Absolutely, thank you so much! I deeply appreciate you.

‏‏And I appreciate you.

‏‏Thank you so much, listeners! Be happy, have a vision, help others, and live a stellar life! I’ll talk to you next time!

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓} Keep looking forward. Life is an adventure, and sometimes there is beauty in the unknown. Don’t be too stuck in the past. Focus on what’s ahead of you.
{✓} Don’t hesitate to go after your dreams. No one is ever ready, and the perfect time is always now. Sometimes all you need to do is a leap of faith.
{✓} Make people you care about the most feel important. Take time to find out what their love language is, so you know how to take care of them better.
{✓} Never stop learning. Read as much as you can, travel, and try new experiences more often. Find a mentor if you want to. Investing in your knowledge is always a win-win situation.
{✓} Keep meeting wonderful people. Build your network with like-minded yet diverse people who can guide and support you in times of need.
{✓} Discover more things that you love doing. Balance out the things you want to do and the things you have to do so it doesn’t have to feel like ‘work’ all the time.
{✓} Help yourself first before helping others. Always bear in mind that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Make sure you’re equipped, and you set an excellent example for your followers.
{✓} Tap more into your spiritual being. Most of the time, the right answers are found deep within you.
{✓} Find the blessings in everything, even the bad things. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the answers aren’t as clear, but things eventually fall into place somehow.
{✓} Check out Loren Lahav’s website to learn more about her events, coaching, books, and more.

About Loren Slocum Lahav

Loren has written three books, sharing her wisdom to help people heal, get inspired and live their best life: The Greatest Love: Being an Extraordinary Mom, Drama-Free Divorce Detox, People and Ladies Home Journal and Life Tuneups, which was featured in People Magazine as one of the “Top 3 Books of 2010.” She also co-authored Chicken Soup for the Soul: Time to Thrive. Loren’s books have been distributed worldwide and have been translated into three languages. Among her creations that inspire, Loren has created a series of “I Am” affirmation cards. The power of the words, “I AM” are subtly powerful. These decks give you a daily affirmation that you can use to transform your mindset and your life, one belief at a time. They are available for women, men, and kids.