Healing Through Family Constellations with Amerly Centeno

A Personal Note From Orion

Welcome, stellar listeners! In today’s episode, we are honored to speak with Amerly Centeno, a family constellation therapist.

Amerly has become a prominent figure in promoting the life philosophy and therapeutic practice known as family constellation. This unique approach, which explores dynamics within family systems to better understand individual behaviors and relationships, has gained significant attention partly due to its feature in the popular Netflix show “Another Self.”

Throughout this episode, you’ll discover why therapy should focus on empowerment rather than dependency, explore the potential of diverse healing modalities like hypnotherapy and psychedelics, and learn about Amerly’s unique programs that support women in their healing journeys. Plus, stay tuned for heartwarming stories of transformation and miraculous outcomes that illustrate the incredible impact of family constellation therapy. This episode promises to offer valuable insights and inspire you to embrace your true self. So, without further ado, let’s dive into the show!

In This Episode

[03:24] – Orion introduces Amerly Centeno and asks her to share about herself and her passion.
[07:10] – Amerly explains what it means to “constellate” someone and where Family Constellations were integrated.
[15:23] – Amerly describes how the family constellation has evolved and her role as a facilitator of this method.
[18:44] – Amerly distinguishes family constellation from any form of hypnosis.
[25:49] – Orion inquires about the advantages and potential side effects of participating in family constellation therapy.
[29:29] – Amerly recalls the miracles she witnessed while facilitating the family constellation.
[35:28] – Amerly discusses what she has learned about relationships and her own life while witnessing family constellations.
[43:45] – Amerly highlights how she shields herself from various energies while facilitating family constellations.
[51:18] – Amerly offers her top tips for living a stellar life.

Jump to Links and Resources

About Today’s Show

Hi, Amerly. Welcome to the Stellar Life podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I look forward to talking to you and learning much about what you’re teaching today.

Awesome. Thank you so much for having me and for your community also to receive this philosophy. Family Constellations is becoming popular not only because it’s now shown on Netflix. I don’t know if you have seen it—Another Self.

Thanks to that, it has reached a big audience, and it’s becoming very, very popular. I am so glad for that because it’s embraced a beautiful life philosophy behind it. I’m here to serve you and your community, to delve deeper into it. Thank you so much for having me.

Yeah, thank you so much for being here. Before we dive into the family constellation, please tell me a little about yourself, your passion, and how you even started teaching this.

Well, it’s a beautiful question because I always said that, family consideration, I didn’t reach it. It reached to me. I’m 48, so I started my—

No way. You look like a kid.

What? I am 48. Thank you so much. But, yeah, I started this path toward self-discovery and self-exploration through my college career. I am a social scientist with different masters in business and coaching. I studied this path in executive coaching and discovered how, through meaningful relationships and intimacy, things work in a company that requires certain order acknowledgment. One day, one of the co-workers I used to work with told me about this family constellation thing she was doing to integrate and embrace the practice.

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In the beginning, it didn’t even call my attention. I was very young. I was 23 or 24 years old when I graduated from college. I started this executive coaching training and development path. One day, I remember sitting with a friend in a restaurant, and she was having a hard time with her father passing. She felt burdened with many responsibilities and so much on her. That restaurant was noisy.

It was funny because, at some point, I took a napkin, caught it, and asked her, “This is your father, and this is you. Tell him that he is dead, but you’re alive. Tell him, but you will be happy to honor him, that it’s not your place to take everything on you. I don’t know where that came from, but I knew later that I did my first family constellation without knowing what it was. A few weeks later, she was sobbing at that moment, so she said it. A few weeks later, she told me, “I don’t know what happened that night, but I felt relieved. I felt that something had shifted in me.”

When I told my co-worker, “This is what happened, and I was really impressed by what happened with that friend of mine.” She told me, “Oh, you did a family constellation. You constellated her.”

What does it mean by “You constellated her?” What did you do?

To constellate someone mea live in these forces of love. So when we live in these forces of love, we can practice that rendition and assentment and take things the way they were, as painful or as hard as they were. We take life fromns to restore the balance, the giving and taking, the belonging, the full force, and your very own rightful place. The only place that truly belongs to you and is your only rightful place to be in life.

No one is separated from the family system. It doesn’t matter if you like it or not; we are a part of that story.

Family constellation is a method. The idea with family constellation is that it’s more than one session of a 1 to 3-hour workshop that can unfold some dynamics and free you from family patterns or lineage. More than that, I would like to say that it’s a philosophy of love that embraces what I call ‘forces of love.’

The forces of love are these forces that are constantly moving or driving our lives, inviting us to succeed, to be in life, to be in love, to be in the adult, and to be in order. But what happened is that no one is separated from the family system. It doesn’t matter if you like it or not. We are a part of that story, in that journey towards self-love and self-discovery.

We need to acknowledge ourselves as part of a home and a system. We belong to many systems in many fields. So in the family constellation, what it does is a method, a philosophy, a therapy that helps us to uncover and unfold those dynamics that impact your present life, those what we call entanglements, blind love, and loyalties that we hold unconsciously at a soul level towards our past, our ancestors, and our significant adults.

It was integrated by Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist, who integrated many different therapy approaches. In the 70s-80s, he even lived with the Zulu tribes in Africa. He observed how they reconciled among themselves, and they reconciled their life and the way they honor their ancestors. He said, “You know, love is what drives all systems. But love is not enough. It requires certain order.” So he started restoring these orders of love, called the orders of love, into the systems we belong to. Which one are these orders of love? Belonging, hierarchy, balance between giving and taking, and compensation.

Everything that happened before set emotions, certain energies that when they are not closed properly, or when there were things that were enclosed, overlooked, unseen, unaccomplished, and broken, the energy doesn’t die there. Energy never dies. It seeks compensation later on. This is a study by a science called epigenetics about how living organisms organize so that energy never gets lost. It seeks compensation through generations.

So epigenetically, we carry our ancestors’ traumas, hurts, good things, and bad things—we carry it all with us.

Also, there is great potential.

Something about this family constellation system is that it releases that energy.

Exactly. I would say it’s a way to renegotiate our trauma responses. We are so entangled and intricate in ourselves and in our information. We are information, we are emotions, and we are energy. It’s difficult. Any constellator that you ask, “What is a family constellation?” They would say to you, “It’s so difficult to explain. It’s something that individuals need to experience.”

Those souls resonate with this philosophy of order, love, and reconciliation. When you attend a workshop or an individual session, you feel everything is connected, how all the stories are entangled among all the participants. We set certain energies in a field, using the body as an expression because the body is what contains the soul. The soul resides in the body. So, we say that we learn through the body using body sensations and emotions.

The layer we access in a family constellation setup is down in the soul.

We can all connect in the field of energy. That unfolds these dynamics. We heightened dynamics and entanglements. That’s the idea of family constellation therapy. Beyond that, a philosophy also invites you to live in these forces of love. So when we live in these forces of love, we can practice that rendition and assentment and take things the way they were, as painful or as hard as they were. We take life from our parents. That gives us the force to be in our rightful place and go to life as adults, taking responsibility and seeing ourselves reflected in all interactions we might experience, knowing that every single interaction we participate in.

There’s a metaphor for something probably not solved in your family of origin. So that’s the idea with family constellations. We work with the somatic, with the body, mostly in silence—attending to the sensations in the body and emotions.

There are dynamics that happen through quantum entanglement, through the information our cells and body hold. It’s so beautiful to see how it can be reconciled, restoring these forces of love. Everything moves towards more when the client is ready to see and to receive in their heart whatever was painful in the past, whatever couldn’t happen or couldn’t be achieved or closed properly. It’s about creating a new unity.

I’ve never seen or experienced a family constellation for myself. But I understood that in session, some people are in the room, representing the mother and the father, but I don’t know exactly. Then, you reassemble them in a different order. What I understood was that the reason for that was that sometimes we take on our mom’s issues and become the parents to our parents. When you actually physically organize people in order with intention, the dynamic of the family structure changes. Is that correct?

Successful outcomes are linked to individuals’ readiness to harmonize and open their hearts toward healing.

Yes, mainly. Nowadays, because family constellations evolve as we speak, I keep myself even in constant training. I train myself for 10 hours. Nowadays, the facilitator interferes less. So, the facilitator is not in charge of reordering, deciding, or putting anyone there because these forces are constantly acting in this field. When we set the intention for it, these forces of belonging, hierarchy, and balance between giving and taking.

Yes, to like they’re constantly acting. These forces are the ones that drive the resolution toward whatever topic a client presents. So, let’s say in a group session, there’s someone who comes to seek their own constellation. It brings a topic. I asked them to be precise and to expose their topic in three sentences. Whatever can be constellated means observed in the field—symptom, disease, relationships, money, projects, work, or whatever you feel in your life that is not working is any stagnation, lack of energy or overwhelming emotions can be constrained.

The client brings up the topic. We set representatives for those energies. Usually, it is a representative for the client and a representative for the topic. Let’s say, whatever the topic, this representative will start moving around the field. They will start having sensations, emotions, and a very deep gaze. Because in us, there are two layers. A layer of the most emotional part of ourselves. That is where we move daily to where there’s more drama or secondary emotions or stress.

If we breathe through the heart and scan each part of our body to stand up and represent different energies, we will let ourselves be guided like the waves in the ocean.

The layer we access in a family constellation setup, that layer is deeper, is down in the soul. So right there, we can access all of us through the heart, through being in the center. When you’re centered there, you can connect with that information. I call it biological, the inner information that your body holds. When you pay attention to it, you’re going to start acknowledging certain emotions, sensations, and even movements, which are different types of movement that don’t come from your mind. Of course, I prepare the group for that. To open their body, to receive, to serve. And through the body, they’re going to start acknowledging or connecting with certain dynamics.

It’s right there when the disorder or what was not possible because the field takes you to a movement of the past. The field takes you somewhere from the past to the present. And it’s necessary for the client to see.

It’s kind of like hypnosis, where people get into a trans state.

I could say yes. Bert Hellinger studied, and I studied with Erickson, the hypnosis and NLP. But they’re not truly in trans; they’re in the center. So I could even ask you now if we breathe through the heart and center in our body. We scan each part of our body to stand up and represent different energies, and if we’re truly in the center, we are going to let ourselves get guided like the waves in the ocean.

What I want to say is that it’s not in the drama. There are some therapies that are based on psychodrama, which are very valuable and beautiful. I even trained myself in psychotherapy theater. It is very valuable for many clients to release and suppress the motions.

But that is not a constellation. Constellation is so far from that drama, which is the superficial layer of ourselves. Constellation happens in the soul, deeper down, deeper into another layer that we can only access through our body. So, we attend to that inner biological guidance that we all have. Believe it or not, know it or not, trust it or not, we all have it. That’s what I do in my training programs.

I train facilitators to become constellators, and it’s nothing even about intuition. It’s listening to that guidance, that inner biological energy that guides you where we stop and we listen to it. We don’t need anything else. It holds our expansion and contraction. So, we let ourselves get guided by that. It’s so powerful. That is what happens in a group workshop.

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Okay, so people go into different movements that create emotions and memories on the surface.

Movements? Yes. Not even memories, sensations, or emotions, say itchiness, pressure in the head, sweating, palpitations, and all these things. Something that we observe a lot in constellations is the gaze of the representatives. The gaze is these windows to the soul. They let us know what is missing and what is excluded. Remember, belonging is one of the things that moves this field. The soul seeks to restore the belonging of those excluded when we can give a place in our hearts to those excluded, not only people but emotions, events, secrets, and all those energies that impact our lives.

We can say, yes, it was like that, and restore that belonging only after we can choose a different destiny, away from repetition, away from compensation. The idea is to know that we live thanks to thousands of previous generations and are just one more link in the service of more life, love, respect, and belonging.

Do you think we carry things not even from this lifetime but from past lifetimes that can affect our constellation and our family dynamics right now?

I don’t truly work with past lives in the sense that whatever was not resolved in a past life. You choose a family. I’m not a medium or anything, but it’s set in all the research that you choose a family that you have to come with to overcome and evolve into another quantum leap. So you choose a family, and we work with this life, with these ancestors, five generations, seven generations again. That energy is never lost. It’s always there. The little ones, the new ones in the system, serve the elder ones.

You choose the family that you have to come with, overcome, and evolve into another quantum leap.

So what do the ancestors need from us? What is it that you truly need to remember and appreciate? No, the DNA is directly transmitted through the descendants. They also give us amazing potential, our careers, or even compensation that we carry from our ancestors, from the deep need to overcome.

What advice would you give someone skeptical about this practice or afraid of it?

Because it doesn’t work, I relinquish myself from giving advice. Many people came to me. My cousin told me I had to do this, and my wife or I sent it to me. I don’t know what I’m doing here, but my wife sent me all those. It’s beautiful because so many people leave my workshops with so much enlightenment, force, and strength, and things happen two weeks later. Of course, with their best intention, they want everyone to heal and solve something. But I would say, “Do not tell them to come. If someone is sleeping, walk on your toes. Whatever you want others to change, change it in yourself first. Whatever advice you want to give others, take it yourself.”

When someone is sleeping, it’s better to walk on your toes and not awaken them because everyone has their own moment and evolution. Everyone is serving their own system. I embrace resistance, and I respect resistance. Resistances are not the property of the person itself, but they also come from so much pain and burden from that family system, which needs to be respected. If people are accepted, I will say you are in the perfect moment of your evolution. Many people need another type of therapy. Some others resonate beautifully. Some come eccentrical and leave totally fascinated, but they have their own time. So listen to their own heart. It resonates.

It needs to be some kind of inner knowing, like, “Oh, I feel pulled toward that.”

It works for people ready to respect their ancestors, to taking their hard work happen, which leads to taking responsibility. It works for people ready to open their hearts to the past. For those who are still in rejection resistance, it’s not recommended.

Whatever you want others to change, change it in yourself first. Whatever advice you want to give to others, take it for yourself.

What are the benefits? Are there any side effects to doing family constellation?

Not that I know. Unless you get into this journey of healing, sometimes it hurts when you start walking this path of self-discovery. Sometimes, at the beginning, it’s not all salt, perfect, or precious. It accelerates your evolution. Some crises may arise, and I trust those crises are serving you a bigger purpose, serving your evolution. Side effects are known because you do it with respect and minimum intervention, at least on my side, in my ethics. Surrendering to what it is, surrendering to the destiny of your clients, surrendering to what they can take, and with respect. So, there are no side effects.

Let’s say you change a family dynamic energetically. Some attachments are now becoming unattached. Can that not get the other party into a loop? Like, even if you feel great, maybe that family member who was attached to you is suffering because they cannot handle not being attached to you.

No. It takes one descendant to look at the past and say, “Yes, you all belong. I’ll give you a place in my heart.” On the contrary, you’re not forcing anyone’s destiny. You are putting yourself in your place of force, reclaiming your very own place of force, the only one that belongs to you. When you reclaim that place, the energy works to settle everything else. You don’t have to come with your family. You don’t have to tell your family that you did this.

You’re not going to force anyone to do anything. It’s not about that. It’s about being there and opening your heart. Surrender to what the field offers you, working these forces of loving this harmony. “Yes, I see you. I take you, mother, as you are. I allow myself to receive life from you. In its fullest, and I’ll do something great with it.”

That doesn’t mean the dynamic is going to disappear. That is important. The information is probably there. The idea is that you’re conscious of it, and when you place yourself and put yourself into that adult state, you can decide differently and relinquish those childhood promises you made unconsciously. But they’re going to be presented to you, those heightened loyalties that you say “I” as you, “I” for you, “I” in your place. You’re going to relinquish that truly. The field needs to hear something, and you say it, and that energetically shifts something within. It’s very trendy in therapy lately that all the therapists around say, “Release, let go, release, let go.” Here, we do the opposite.

Changing family dynamics energetically doesn’t force anyone’s destiny but helps descendants reclaim their strength and place.

You don’t let go. You basically embrace them while claiming your own place and releasing attachments that should not be there. That sounds good.

So should be there.

Yeah. You’ve been doing it for a long time. What are some miracles that you saw in your practice that were even shocking to you?

Every day, I received a message. I’m passionate about fertility and passionate about working with children’s difficulties. I’ve seen so many, as you say, miracles. Why miracles? Because the outcome and the experience were totally and 100% systemic. When it’s systemic, sometimes it’s destiny. So this mother came to me telling me that her boy, 17 years old, wants to change and transition to become a woman. I told her, “There are two possibilities: destiny or systemic. If it’s destiny, we need to work with you to ascend to that destiny, make peace with it, and take your son exactly as it is. If it’s systemic, something will be shown in the field that will allow us to reconcile and restore the belonging, pain, and burden of the men causing the compensation.

Was it only the mom who did the constellation, or was the kid with her?

No. The kids are not allowed to have a constellation. They don’t have the resources to decide or change their destiny. This is a beautiful question, but the mom can request by hierarchy a constellation to help each child overcome difficulties, disease, depression, addiction, and anxiety. Of course, if a mom comes to me, “I don’t like the wife of my son.” Nothing interferes with their decisions or their destiny, but it helps them overcome difficulties. I have so many moms that come to me, children with addiction, depression, autism spectrum, aggressive behavior, etc.

It’s very trendy in therapy lately that all the therapists around say, “Release, let go.” Here, we do the opposite.

We conceived through surrogacy or IVF. That has a lot of systemic implications. What we do in a constellation is to observe the whole system. Let’s say biographical trauma and ancestral trauma. What happened with all these men’s abuse? What happened in the constellation? Two months later, my mom told me the boy reversed his decision. And I was in love with a girl. I was dating a girl. That happened. And for me, that was a big one.

He went from not transitioning to actually loving a girl. That’s amazing.

Yes. That’s amazing. And again, it was totally systemic when we opened that constellation. The mom, her heart opened her willingness. It was beautiful. It’s when I tell you someone is ready to overcome, harmonize, and open the heart.

Do you think that when you do that, you actually shift into a new timeline for the whole family?

The field is that space, let’s say, inside the circle that is timeless and spaceless. There’s no past, no present, and no future. There are movements of the past that need to be seen that represent the essentials for the client. So sometimes, I don’t know. If you watch that show, Another Self, on Netflix, you will see, more or less, how they reassemble it—the metaphor of what happened in the field and how it takes you to a moment in the past that needs to be seen. It could be you as a child, it could be your grandmother. It could be certain exclusions, secrets, abortions, miscarriages, or whatever happened that at the present moment is impacting your life with that energy that was unseen or overlooked.

The idea is that they paved the way for us to have unlimited potential and limited beliefs because that unconscious loyalty makes us repeat the destiny of song and even belong to fields many times. Imagine a cloud of information that we unconsciously belong to—church, culture, those injunctions and mandates we were told when we were little, what we see and don’t see becomes our life script. We are like little robots, repeating the destiny of those or not allowing them ourselves to do differently.

To think for ourselves, sometimes, even in the self-development world I’m very deep into. I interviewed so many amazing people and went to bazillion seminars. Sometimes, people recite mantras. We say it and keep saying it because it sounds so good. But is it true? Is it true for me at the moment? Or is it some kind of a bumper sticker that I’m just falling into because some guru said it, and another guru said it, and everybody just repeats it automatically? So we definitely get programmed. We program just by watching TV.

Whatever happens at the present moment is impacting your life.

When we watch programs, TV is meant to reprogram us, our school and our family systems. We are so programmed. The hardest thing is to see beyond and break free. What did you learn about relationships, your own life, and yourself, witnessing all those family constellations you did?

Beautiful question. Every experience we get, pleasant or unpleasant, depleting or renewing every experience we encounter, is a metaphor for something we haven’t healed from our past. It’s a projection. Whatever you reject, you judge, you exclude, it’s also showing you something your partner and work. How is your life right now? Where are the areas of your life that you’re seeking to improve? In what areas of your life do you feel this exception or frustration advising you about something you haven’t healed from your past, whether from your parents, their interaction, or their need to save them? That’s why we are into healing. All constellators are people who have to heal. All those like you that are in this cell. I’m one of them.

I have totally had savior syndrome. I am trying to heal. I think everything that I learned in my life and everything they teach right now is either something that I already worked on and healed or that I’m in the process of healing. When I help other people with that, I heal myself.

Absolutely. You are chosen by your family system. Behind every person that seeks my guidance, I also see unlimited potential. I see people who are the strongest in their family system and carry more burdens. I don’t see them with pity or poorness, or I see them, “Wow, you’re so strong.” All those wounds also came together with unlimited potential. We all wanted to save our parents.

All that is in this realm of self-help or helping others. We were some that, at some point, wanted to save our parents without much success. Or those who left life with discomfort, desires of revenge, and envy. It’s on us to give that look to the past and restore that, creating a new unity of love. I always like to say, “Resume that.” Constellations are this philosophy that helps us restore the love that once was broken or impossible so that people can live with that energy. When you see those dead people that we replace and that we’re loyal and entangled with, when you say, “Now I choose life,” they can close their eyes. So the wish for this dad is for the living, to live.

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That’s beautiful. I love that story about the mom and the kid and how he wanted to transition, but he finally organized something in the field. He didn’t feel, I guess, being a man, he was such a burden, and he could step into his masculinity and even fall in love with a woman. That’s extraordinary. What other amazing stories did you have? You mentioned fertility, addiction, and autism.

People seeking love, partnership people, women seeking true love. Suddenly, they acknowledge that they are seeing through the eyes of some women who suffer.

Yes. Wow.

It’s so beautiful to unentangle yourself from that unconscious rejection women have felt towards men—a long evolution. If you represent a couple from the first century, for example, you see how women start despising men because they left to go to war, to hunt, or whatever, and they never came back. Women were used as survival animals to nurture and give birth. They start dying at giving birth. That developed this. I’m talking about the evolution of these men-women relationships, masculine and feminine, and developing this unconscious rejection no men abandon.

Men are not good men, and men fear women. So you see, when all these women come, “I’m seeking love. I’m seeking companionship—the good love. I acknowledge and see in this movement that respecting man is a recent human task.” So we have been living in this program of abandonment, resentment, rejection, and doubts for many years, and now we are seeking a new. All these angry feminist movements in evolution are necessary because nowadays, we can talk about a different feminist. Everyone has their role in evolution and the way they have served each other. I’ve seen many miracles when women are able to say, “Now I can see, I can love, and I can respect.”

Every experience we get, pleasant or unpleasant, depleting or renewing, is a metaphor for something that we haven’t healed from our past.

I love that. Amen. Because you can be a powerful woman, you don’t have to be an imitation for a man to be strong in the world. You can be successful and still be very much in your divine feminine and fully integrated without the need to fight. But you’re right. We’ve been programmed, “You hit like a girl.” So don’t be like a girl, but then don’t be like a boy.

It’s very like we had so many confusing messages still thrown at us. It’s really beautiful because it’s all energetically at the end of the day, all those programming, our beliefs, and they’re part of our subconscious. As you said, when you untangle them, you are free to be your core essence and to claim your power and to see the world through your own eyes instead of seeing the world through someone else in the past who has suffered, whether it is your grand grandma or your mom or your dad, and really reclaim your true power and your true light. Right?

Absolutely. The suffering comes from feeling ourselves separated. No one is separated from the source. We tend to believe that we are separated, and that’s our basal first wound, the wound of separation. So, reinclusion is what many of us need, and it only takes one again; it takes one descendant to see the past, to realize that everything was in the name of love and out of love.

How do you protect yourself when you’re around all those energies? Or do you even feel the need to protect yourself? Because you’re probably dealing with some terrible traumas and terrible stories and people breaking down and crying. I’ve never been to one of your sessions. I’ve never been to a family constellation, but I could imagine that that’s a big field to hold. That’s big energy to hold. How do you do that?

It’s beautiful when you center the representatives and the participants, and they can express even deeper pain. They can express it. I feel a deep pain, so much deep and darkness, but they can express it from that center. Bert Hellinger, the German psychotherapist who integrated the family constellation, also talked a lot about the orders of health. That is also something that I teach my students for facilitators: the right way to help. There are orders to help surrender to destiny and another. Help is from adult to adult. That need to save the other probably is the need to save yourself. So there are certain orders also that are helpful when you go with a client.

Is the client seeking you as a parent? Are you serving as that client’s parent, or are you working for the parents, respecting its parents? So when you bow to the client’s parent, the client immediately opens up to you, and you feel relaxed because you are in your place of helper. What happened? So many people go to therapy for ten years, and what they discover is that they have wasted their life. They have wasted their life because they became so codependent.

The field is a timeless space where movements of the past that impact the present are seen.

Yeah, they just speak again and again. They open the wound, go weekly, and dig into their wound a little bit more. Therapy has its place for a while, but if somebody’s going to therapy for ten years, there’s something wrong here. Nobody should be going to therapy for ten years. That’s a lot. I think the world is exploding with so many modalities, from this family constellation to hypnotherapy to psychedelics. There are so many ways to make it way shorter. All this pain energy goes where your focus and attention go, right? If you focus on the pain that always surfaces level, never touching the subconscious, nothing is ever going to change. And then you will be just like feeling good about yourself for going and doing your weekly therapy, but not really actually getting better.

You have to break something energetically, disentangle something energetically, and disentangle something in your belief system, subconscious mind, and attachments. Then, you will be free, claiming your power as an independent, sovereign human being with a lot of light and power inside, claiming your power and not delegating your power to somebody who’s sitting across from you and just listening to you for ten years. There was a short time in my life when I needed therapy. I went for two months. It was great. It was helpful. I can’t imagine myself going for ten years. I would never evolve.

I had some of those clients, and they became so codependent that they discovered that they were just seeking the parent. When you’re able just to take whatever was given from your parents, who knows if the little we receive becomes much or the much we receive becomes very little. Many people come rejecting the parents, “I didn’t receive this. My mom didn’t love me. Now, my mom didn’t see me.” I found it as a portal for your greatness. That one is where going to help you to serve later the collective.

The need to save others probably is the need to save yourself.

When you’re able to feel that, what you receive and say, “Mom, even if you couldn’t see me, I take life from you. I’m truly grateful for the life you gave me. Now, I do something great.” That reinclusion of your mother, that you are taking back your full place of force as that child of that couple, it’s everything we need to elevate our energy to transform into resilience. This inclusion is information that reaches everyone because if you reject your mother, imagine systemically. “No, you reject your mother. You didn’t do enough. You didn’t do good. What are you doing right there?” You’re parenting your mother. And if you’re parenting your mother, it means your grandmother didn’t do a good job. So you’re excluding your grandmother and say, “I can do better than you.” Telling my mom how she should do with me and how she didn’t do good. So I’m a better mother than her. “I am a better mother than you, grandmother.” So, in that exclusion, a disorder creates an energy of entropy.

Entropy is a struggle. They know that you reach a peak of energy and seek compensation in your life, life partnership, projects, and money. So all those are feminine energies, so it will seek compensation until you can say, “You know, grandma, you did the best you could. So I give you back your place. You know how to be her mother better than myself. Mother, you are my mother. And I take the little you gave me and use it for something great.” That inclusion is information that reaches everyone. The energy of everyone we know, everything that’s united to quantum entanglement.

I finally got to the tip of the iceberg and understood what this thing is all about. This is fascinating.

The important thing for the community that listened to this for the first time is that with each reconciliation, you’re able to draw from your heart—because from the mind, sometimes it’s so difficult. I have many clients who have difficult parents, and they have different types of abuse—emotional, sexual, etc. I know it’s hard when you do it from here.

The constellation can address various family issues, including children's behavioral problems, addictions, and conditions such as autism. Share on X

The heart possesses unique capabilities. I also am a heart math coach and mentor, doing everything through the heart. So each reconciliation you do through your heart creates a new quantum leap in each family system because those promises that are unconscious, that we may, in our early childhood to our elders, to not become more successful than them, not become more loved than them, not become more seen than them, both promises that we unconsciously made are poison.

When we center ourselves on the adult, the adult never promises. The adult takes what it is. It takes responsibility. So they all need to enjoy life and live fully, and they need our love and respect for their tragedies and their struggles not to be repeated.

It’s so multilayered. It’s really beautiful. Thank you so much. What are your three top tips for living a stellar life?

Live with the forces of love and belonging—everything belongs to everything. You judge yourself. The upside or your point irritates you is telling you about yourself more than the benefit. So, see yourself reflected. As Kelly Brogan says, “Wear your villain crown, see yourself as a perpetrator, as someone that has caused harm, and you’ll grow from that.” Seeing yourself as the victim would not let you grow from being the adult saying yes to the past and yes to what it is because it’s serving your destiny. That would be my philosophy, which truly changed my life.

Seeing yourself as the victim would not let you grow from being an adult.

Beautiful. Where can people find you or even take courses with you? Get certified by you?

I have a facilitators training program. The groups are very reduced and very intimate. We have live sessions one hundred percent online. It’s beautiful and transformative. It’s so powerful.

My group workshops are every other Saturday in person in Edgewater, Miami. I also have a beautiful community of women around the world. We meet on Thursdays online and talk about different topics. We constellate. We talked about the challenges in contemporary life, let’s say motherhood. Whatever is there for and we support. We’re a beautiful community of women healing together in community. Or we can meet on Thursdays. That is called Soulful Awakening Tribe. You can find more information on my website, Quanta Systemic Academy. I would love for you to join us in one of the in-person sessions since you’re in Florida.

I would love you to talk, Amerly. Thank you so much. This was such an eye-opener and just a beautiful, deep conversation. I really enjoyed it. I’m sure everybody who listened enjoyed it just as much.

Thank you so much. All the best for you.

Thank you. And thank you, listeners. Remember to live in the force of love and know that you belong. Remember that everything external is just a reflection of you and say what is and have a stellar life. This is Orion till next time.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓}Focus on empowering clients, not creating dependency. Help them realize their own strength and capabilities.

{✓}Embed Bert Hellinger’s family constellation theory into your practice, emphasizing the natural orders of health and systemic balance.

{✓}Maintain professional boundaries; avoid becoming a parental figure to your clients. This ensures a healthy therapeutic relationship.

{✓}Integrate various healing modalities, such as hypnotherapy and psychedelics, for a more comprehensive approach to therapy.

{✓}Encourage clients to reconcile and accept their familial history, fostering deeper personal growth and healing.

{✓}Guide therapy through heart-centered methods. Help clients see their past experiences as metaphors for needed healing.

{✓}Assist clients in untangling from past programming influenced by external factors, reclaiming their true essence.

{✓}Promote inclusion within the family system. Acknowledge excluded members or secrets to allow healing.

{✓}Be aware of historical wounds between genders. Encourage exploring these past influences and consciously choosing new patterns in relationships.

{✓}Connect with Amerly Centeno and explore her work in family constellation therapy. Visit her website, Quanta Systemic Academy.

Links and Resources

Connect with Amerly Centeno

About Amerly Centeno

Amerly Centeno is a Bioneuroemocion Master Practitioner and a master systemic and relationship facilitator. She has become a prominent figure in promoting life philosophy and therapeutic practice known as family constellation.