A Personal Note from Orion

I think it’s crazy that we live in a world where dating is determined by the swipe of ONE photo to the left or right.  Where has the romance gone? Online dating is becoming the norm these days for people to try and find their significant other, but the reality is, people, and relationships, are so much more complex than what a static photo and profile can portray. 

Christina Weber is a modern day matchmaker, one that believes in foregoing digital dating and making the first impression in person.  I am happily engaged to man of my dreams (whom I met in real life first!) but I was totally inspired by the insight Christina gave, including how to work on our inner selves in preparation for when we do come across our soulmate, and why in person connections are worth your time, even if they require a bit more of an investment.

 

 

About Today’s Show

‏‏Hello, and welcome to the Stellar Life podcast. My guest today is Christina Weber. She is a spirited entrepreneur and the co-founder and CEO of Underground Unattached, a curated dating experience which gives singles an alternative to online dating and the opportunity to connect in person. Christina is a master at arranging ideas and technology to improve the way people live, interact, and experience the world. It’s her gift as a leader and as a visionary. I’ve joined her for a couple of these extraordinary events in Los Angeles and lead a guided meditation at the beginning of the dating experience to put everybody in a good mood and put everybody at ease. We’re going to talk more about it later. Hello, Christina, and welcome to the show!

‏‏Hi! Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to chat with you!

‏‏Yeah, thank you so much for being here! Let’s start by just telling everybody a little bit about yourself.

‏‏Yeah, of course! I wished I start with myself-well, let’s start with Underground Unattached. How this experience was created in the summer of 2014. I had produced eight concerts at a crowdfunding campaign. And had helped a friend with her singles’ events. At the end of that stretch, my mother asked me if I was dating anybody. And it was kind of that “blank stare” moment, like, “Oh, shoot! I was supposed to be dating as well? I was conquering the world!” Within that question, I realized the need to focus on that area in my life. I think we all have to inject energy in our desires, and there is no way that I was showing up in this world for dating. However, what I was doing was, working in New York City hard core, building a company, building a brand, and following my career desires, but not showing up in the relationship space.

‏‏Right, and what was missing? I mean, what’s wrong with just being a strong, independent woman in the world?

‏‏Well, I desire family, and I desire strong relationship, and I think that I was working so hard on developing this beautiful career, but in no way of my life was I focusing on a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with, of course, timing is everything, and you have to be at a place where you’re ready for that relationship and to attract and sustain that relationship. I think you have to decide from an age perspective from when it feels right to focus on that area, but if you want it? You have to show up for it.

Timing is everything, and you have to be at a place where you’re ready for that relationship and to attract and sustain that relationship. Click To Tweet

‏‏Yeah, I love that. Exactly! It’s all about desire. Being single or being in a relationship are both perfect, but if you have the desire to gain a relationship, then you have to put your mind into it, and you have to take action. How did that came about? One day you woke up and you were like, “I’m going to create this fantastic thing?”

‏‏Well, not exactly. I had never participated in the online dating space at this point, and this is the summer of 2014 so, Tinder was the new, hot, big thing. I had friends who I had respected who were on Tinder and actually meeting some great men. I figured, “You know what? I’m going to put myself out there. I’m going to try this out.” I downloaded Tinder and I, “played” on the app for three weeks. I had numerous conversations, I had met a couple guys in person, but after those three weeks, I was drained. Being an entrepreneur and career-focused as well, dating can tend to be labor-intensive and time-consuming, and that’s what I found that this app was. It was taking me off of my game, and I wasn’t meeting anybody that was necessarily going to positively impact my life. And I thought, “There has to be a better way. Can we just get everybody into a room, instead of all these swiping, pictures, and text message conversations, and then you meet in person-the average time that it takes for somebody to meet one person in person from online dating is six hours.

‏‏Wow!

‏‏So, I figured, “Can we just come into a space?” so we curate Underground Unattached with 20 men and 20 women. When I had the idea to bring these people into a room, I want to make sure that it was even numbers. I think women are so used to going out, and there’s more women than men, and so I wanted to make sure we had one man for every woman and vice versa. And then, I also didn’t want to just throw a party. I wanted to make sure that there was some structure. That people had the ability to really connect and get to know each other, and it was effective, and that everyone in the space had the opportunity to engage with one another. I consulted with a social psychologist and engagement expert, and that’s how we developed the activities that are played at an Underground Unattached experience.

‏‏Yeah, and they’re very, very fun. But before we get into the experience itself, let’s talk a little bit about online dating. What are the apps out there? What are the challenges out there?

‏‏So, the apps right now that I find the most popular are-you have your Tinder. There is Hinge. Hinge is connected to your Facebook so you’re able to see mutual friends when you connect with somebody and decide before you’ll be matched with them. Then, you have Bumble. I would say, Bumble is probably taking the cake right now from more interesting, well-appearing people are showing up on Bumble-more relationship-minded-but, it’s also still challenging. With Bumble, they made the app so the woman actually has to initiate all conversations.

‏‏Oh my God!

‏‏Yes, and so the goal of that was to take away-with the online dating space, people don’t have to be real. Some people have this fake identity that they can say or do whatever that they want so, when you’re putting sometimes, unfortunately, men in that type of environment, some people aren’t as conscious as others, and women have felt as though they’ve been harassed or just not as respected as what they would be if you were looking someone directly in the eye.

‏‏Right. If you heard of the work of Dr. Pat Allen?

‏‏Oh, yes! Of course! I’m actually planning to check out her talk on Monday evening.

‏‏Oh, I love her! I love her, and it’s so funny that I do not know about this Bumble app, and according to her, when the woman initiate the conversation, she automatically became the masculine because the masculine side is more the aggressor and the “approacher.” The advice that she gives woman is to just sit and flirt with your eyes and with your body language, but let the men approach you because it goes into polarity in a relationship and how to keep that dance between feminine and masculine energy within their relationship. Most traditional relationship, the man is more the masculine and the woman is more the feminine, and it will work that way unless the couple decided it’s the opposite way, which is fine too, but in most relationships, it’s the female that takes on more of the feminine side and the guy that takes upon himself the masculine side. Now, with Bumble, when the woman approach first, they’re immediately the masculine side so I don’t know how big it is. Maybe it’s more like a little flirt-like saying, “Hi!” and then the guys are-

‏‏Yes, yes. The woman does have to be conscious of that, and I think if you just say a little “hello,” that’s totally fine. One of the challenges with the dating apps, I think, is people are so overwhelmed and a little bit drained by them that very often you will say “hello” and then you get no response. And I think that women, generally, we’re not used to being the ones, quote-unquote, rejected, and by no means, is that a rejection whatsoever. It’s just the mere fact that people are overwhelmed in life, and now, you add in this dating app and these messages, and people don’t have to respond. They have no tie to you or they’re not looking at you in the eye so, if they don’t respond, they don’t feel bad. It’s not a problem. Those are the three apps that are, I guess, the biggest thing. When you’re thinking about online dating, one of the things that I looked to overcome with the challenge there is that 50% of people lie-

‏‏Hmm. That’s it? Wow!

‏‏That’s what, statistically, is emitted. It’s probably a little bit more, but 50% of people lie and 30% of people never even leave their computer device or their phone to meet anybody in person.

‏‏That’s horrible!

‏‏I know, right?

‏‏What a waste of time and energy? I just interviewed, for just this week’s episode, an expert. Her name is Vickie, and it was all about personality types. There is the “blue” personality, the “red” personality, the “yellow” personality. The “red” personality is very efficient. We are, sometimes, combinations of colors. I think that you’re probably going to be a little bit of a red and a blue, where you’re very structured, but you’re also very efficient and straight into the point. Is that correct?

‏‏I would say so, yes.

‏‏Yeah. To an extent. We are all a mix of all of them. That’s just perfect. It’s so efficient to just save all those wasted hours, the heartache, and the pain that occupy your mind when they don’t swipe. Just bring everybody in to a beautiful space with a luxurious food and delicious drinks and then bring them together. How do you pick the right people to be there? How do you pick the right age? Do you reject people from coming?

‏‏All good questions! It’s 20 men and 20 women, and all of this has been kind of spread from like attracts like so if I look at the characteristics of nearly who am I? So, I’m an entrepreneur. I started this at 33. The sweet spot of an age demographic then puts me in about this mid-20’s to mid-40’s. I’ve tended to invest a lot of energy in my career. I’ve been focused on my spirituality and growing as an individual. So, everybody who has come to the experience so far, and at this point, there’s been over 480 people between New York and LA.

‏‏Nice!

‏‏Have kind of all come from friends, friends of friends, friends of friends’ referrals so, it’s all been spread from one person to the next person. The people who are attracted to this experience tend to be people who are conscious, open-minded, willing to step into a space, be vulnerable-it’s a very vulnerable space to walk into-and have direct eye contact with another individual. In regards to the process of them getting to me, everybody completes a questionnaire. It’s five questions about themselves and five questions about their desired partner, and then I have a one-on-one phone conversation with the. Before that, I do a lot of online stalking so, I’m looking at everyone’s Facebook page. I’m looking at how they present themselves on Instagram. It’s interesting because I’ve never had to get to like a straight place around like, “Oh, I don’t think this is right for you.” It’s kind of just happens in the flow of the conversation. It comes down to expectations. Although there’s a price to attend an experience, when you come into it, I ask that you almost alleviate all expectations. To take the pressure away from yourself. Take the pressure away from others. We don’t show pictures. A lot of people want to see photos ahead of time, and this is something that we worked with the social psychologist-to debate on whether we show the pictures or not to show the pictures. I can share the reasons why a little bit later if you like. I’m really looking kind of almost like from a job interview perspective. How does this person present themselves? Do they seem to have a great hearts, good spirits, and warm energies? Then, when we have that one-on-one call, if that’s not transparent and if that doesn’t come across, then I have a password that they register, and it’s just kind off left off, “Well, if it seems to be like a fit for you, feel free to give me a call back. I’ll be happy to, maybe, share the password in the future if you seem right for it.” There’s been many people, quote-unquote, I guess rejected it, but they haven’t been really directly rejected because it’s just this mutual feeling of, “This just doesn’t seem right.”

 

‏‏Right. What goes behind the scene of creating something like that?

‏‏Oh, geez-lots of hard work! I’m going to tell you-to be completely honest, to get people to trust and to walk into this environment is no easy task. There are some people that I will have 15-minute conversations on before they welcome the experience and they get hung up on-there’s a lot of fear when it comes to dating, and there’s a lot of heartbreak that’s happened. There’s a lot of, “Oh, shoot! You want me to step outside of my computer and meet people in person?” It sounds really scary. That’s one thing that I’m constantly over and over having to share with people and having to make them feel welcome. That the people who attend are just like you. When you walk, there’s this unknown, but when you walk into the space, you’re like, “Wow! All of this people are just like me.” The really behind-the-scenes biggest challenge is just getting all the people there-over and over again. Twenty men and twenty women, New York City or LA, who are all available on one night coming together-I’m dating for everybody!

‏‏Yes, you do!

‏‏Yes, so behind the scenes, it’s super chaotic, but I’m a little bit like a hamster. I’m addicted, and I love the outcome of it. The messages that I received following the experience is what just keeps me going. And I just can’t stop. The stories of relationships and the stories of people of self-realization is just a beautiful thing, and I’m happy to share some of those too.

‏‏Yeah, share! The last experience, I was there with you. I didn’t stay for all of the night. I stayed just for the first portion where I just lead the guided meditation, and I kind of saw everybody together. I felt like I spread my pixie dust and everybody’s good, and now, I can go.

‏‏Yeah, that was amazing. Thank you! I loved that you did that. You alleviated a lot of anxious energy for sure.

‏‏Thank you! And I got some good feedback on that too so that makes me feel happy. What kind of feedback did you get from the last experience?

‏‏Actually, a dear friend attended the experience, and one of the things that I thought was really profound that she shared is that-she was in discussion with a man-and he said, “Well, what brought you here today?” and she said, “Oh, well, I’m friends with Christina so I’m here to support her.” And he sat back and he said, “Oh, so, you’re not here to meet anybody?” and she’s like, “Well, I’m open,” and she couldn’t retract from that. What she had was the realization afterwards that when she meets a man, she puts up a guard-and that was her guard.

‏‏Wow.

‏‏And she does it over and over and over again so, that self-realization of-because she was actually interested in that man, but when she put up and said, “Oh, I’m not really…“ she couldn’t get heard anymore. So, there’s that. There’s the challenge of, “Hey, I don’t want to get hurt,” and “How do I protect myself?”

‏‏Right. What are the challenges from a man’s perspective?

‏‏From a man’s perspective, generally, what they say is, men are still scared of rejection. They don’t want and they’re fearful of rejection, and women are fearful of being hurt so, you have women being fearful of being hurt, and men being scared of being rejected, and those two things aren’t necessarily working together. Once everyone just operates from a heart place as opposed to an ego place-then, so much more sweetness and goodness comes out of it. One of the activities that we play is called “give and take.” The man receives 20 blue jellybeans and the women receive 20 pink jellybeans.

‏‏I love that game!

‏‏Yes! It’s usually the game that people are most terrified of when I tell them about, but they love it afterwards. It’s the one they love the most. What they do is, the man and woman are to exchange jellybeans so, at the end of the activity, the man is supposed to have a jar full of pink jellybeans and the woman has a jar full of blue jellybeans, and they do that through eye-gazing. So, they’re task is to go around the room and spending 10 seconds of straight eye-gazing-no words-with the opposite gender. It’s one of those activities where they’re like, “Woah!” You actually learn about people because there are some people who can’t do that. Unfortunately, they have a really hard time with that, but the ones, when you have those moments of connections with someone, you see so much better. People would tell me, “Wow! I just fell in love five times!” It’s that realization. It’s that moment. I’ve had people who have had no other conversation with somebody except that eye-gaze and ended up on dates afterwards.

‏‏How lovely! Wow! I was at the seminar in New York City-was it New York City? I don’t know. One of those millions seminars that I take. One of the exercises at the end of the seminar was to sit in front of somebody and eye gaze the whole 10 minutes, I think it was. A long time. They brought a few teenagers who had drug problems, are homeless, or who have some problems at home. It was a little mentorship program, and I sat in front of this guy who was a young gay guy, but was, unfortunately, addicted to crack. He still falls off the wagon here and there. He goes back and gets clean, then he goes back again. I just sat in front of him and looked him in the eyes for a whole 10 or 20 minutes-I don’t know-time just went by. I don’t know how long it was, but it was pretty long. The connection that can be made through an eye-gaze is incredible. It goes more on the soul level, and it’s kind of like all those artificial masks that people put on when they meet a stranger-they just dissolve. Like they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. I remember that experience was so emotional for me. I was crying. He was crying. It’s kind of like silent crying. We just looked at each other and you just feel the tears. It was just beautiful. I just love that-how did you come up with that exercise?

‏‏I’ve participated in activities like you said before-more of a group setting that for any type of dating-type stuff, and you just realize how special those moments are with somebody. Originally, when I started this, I had a partner. I said, “Let’s do 30 seconds,” and he’s like, “No way! Not 30 seconds!” so we compromised. Then, I tried for 15 seconds, and he’s like, “No, 10 seconds. Only 10 seconds!” Now, we’re going on our 14^th experience so, we’ve also modified and changed it. We’ve also added the jellybeans into it, and it’s just been through experience and feedback of how those activities were created.

‏‏Right. I actually experienced a different eye-gazing exercise. It was in a speaking seminar, and I was sitting in front of somebody. The instructor came behind us and made funny faces, and we have to not laugh. We have to sit in front of each other and not laugh. That was hard. That might be another fun activity that you can put in the mix.

‏‏Yeah, totally! And give them a little bit of light-heartedness that goes along with it too.

‏‏Right! Oh my God! But you know, when I was there the first time, I stayed for the whole thing. I love to watch people and see how they work. I felt very involved and kind of like guided people to be together. A lot of them in the beginning almost refused to do the exercise and started talking because when you talk, when you go around it, you don’t have to be real. You don’t have to really commit. I love what you said that the people who come to this experience must be really brave and open-minded to experience something new like that. It’s not easy.

‏‏Yeah. Not easy at all.

‏‏Mm-hmm. Let’s go back to why not sharing the pictures?

‏‏Yes, of course! I talked a social psychologist, Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, who has been advising us throughout this whole entire journey. When we discussed it, there are a couple of reasons why we don’t. First off is, safety. We operate in small circles, and there’s never a time that I want to show a man-I think from my perspective of putting myself in her shoes-and I never would want to show photographs to a man who’s thinking about coming and his response was, “Oh, that’s so-and-so’s ex-girlfriend!”

‏‏Oh.

‏‏So, there’s that. Wiping that away, and for safety reasons. Second, if I was to show, say, a man or woman pictures, most likely, she’s going to look at it and she’s going to say, “Oh, him, him, and him-Those three guys. I want to meet those three guys!” Pictures don’t tell a full story. When you walk into the space, your mind is thinking, “Where are those three that I think I want to meet?” Of course, they don’t look like their picture, and you’re so focused on meeting them that you’re not even present with all the other people in the space that you’re meeting. Another thing to add on to that, from the picture standpoint-to keep in mind when we’re dating, Laurie Davis from eFlirt Expert-so, we have about eight dating relationship and dating coaches that we work directly with. If someone registers for experience, they receive a complimentary 25-minute call with one of the dating coaches of their choosing. We have eight of them, and they choose one. Laurie Davis works with clients. She coaches them, and she also has a company called eFlirt Expert. eFlirt Expert dates for you online. They handle all of your online dating profiles and have conversations to get to know you. When she presents to her clients, “Here are the options of people that we think you would be interested in,” she has them separated into three piles: Yes, Maybe, and No. The majority of her clients who end up in relationships always end up with people in the “maybe” pile. So, that’s another reason we don’t want to show pictures. It’s because you’re looking at them, and you’re looking for, “Yes, yes, yes!” but a lot of the times, your final partner is not your “yes” partner. He or she is your “maybe.”

A lot of the times, your final partner is not your “yes” partner. He or she is your “maybe.” Click To Tweet

‏‏Mm-hmm. When I met my fiancée, I had to go through a major internal shift because if I met my fiancée seven days prior, we would probably just go by like two ships in the night, and I would never, ever end up with him. He was not really my type. I wanted someone different. Then, I spent about six days at the Tony Robbins seminar, and on the relationship day, I knew that something had to change because I was very much in my masculine. I was actually dating guys and I think to an extent, I was emasculating them because I was so hurt, and I was afraid to get hurt so, I put on that big wall of “Nobody’s going to ever hurt me.” The question that was leading my life, and Tony does that-we get into what questions lead your life, and everybody comes up with their primary question, and my question was, “How can I not get hurt?” Anything that might be a little sign of danger would have been an immediate “no,” especially with guys, and so I had to change that question into, “How can I trust more?” “How can I trust more?” About six days into the seminar, you come to a place where you’ve really shed a lot. It’s a whole process of shedding-shedding all the crap, all the bullshit, and all the fears. Tony is extraordinary and amazing. You feel empowered and inspired. For me, it was a point of just, at 1 A.M, at the end of the relationship day, I sat by a waterfall, and I started crying and laughing. I had a whole breakdown, and I opened myself. I prayed and I was like, “Okay, God, I need help. I really need help.” I wrote my relationship vision, and I didn’t only write what do I want in a person, I also wrote who am I going to be to attract that person that I want-who do I have to be? What type of person I have to become in order to attract that person? Forty-eight hours later, exactly at 1 A.M, I was introduced to Stephan, and the rest is just like we’re going to have a beautiful happy ending, and we’re going to get married and all that good stuff. It always comes to the individual. Whether it’s the man or the woman, there’s a lot of internal work that has to go into dating. It’s good to take the action. It’s so important to take the action. It’s so important to get out of your comfort zone, and go into an experience like the experiences that you’re holding and meet other people. In between experiences, there is a much internal work that needs to be done, and so for that woman that had the same fear-that woman at the last experience who was guarded, and that was the way she was dealing with men because she was not trusting-what would you advise her? What type of internal work does she need to do?

‏‏Oh, that’s a challenging question because all of our internal work and our path are so different. It can be therapy. I’ve studied Kabbalah for many years, and I’ve gotten so much wisdom. I feel so much grounded after studying Kabbalah.

‏‏Did we have a conversation about Kabbalah?

‏‏No, we haven’t.

‏‏Oh, I’m studying Kabbalah now as well.

‏‏Oh, really?

‏‏That is so cool!

‏‏Yeah! There is so much that you can learn from that wisdom, especially when it comes to relationships, and when it comes to understanding life. Unfortunately, we’re not taught in school how to have real relationships, and how far men and women come together. Not only Kabbalah, which we can talk more about later-that would be wonderful! But, you know, even prior to going into this work, you mention the word “dating coach” to me, and I was like, “That’s lame! Who has a dating coach? Like, what?” And now, I have one! Now, we have eight on our roster. That, I think, is a great investment of your time and energy if you really want the relationship, and you haven’t figured it out. Relationships are so intricate, especially depending on what age you’re at. Whenever anyone comes to the space, our sweet spot is that mid-to-late 20’s to mid-to-late 40’s. If you’re getting a 42-year-old single man into a space, think of all his previous history that he has coming into it. There’s a lot of heartbreaks, there’s a lot of hurt, and so, all of that stuff needs to be worked through, and you have to pay attention to it. These other outlets of whether it’s the books that you read, whether it’s therapy, whether it’s Kabbalah, or whether it’s a dating coach-I say, take them all, but study it. Just like you did with your career. Study relationships. As you said, take it back to your falling-in-love story-you were there with Tony Robbins, and there was a day that talked about relationships. So, you were forced to think it through. Find the tools that you gravitate towards, and definitely work on yourselves. Also, even from an Underground Unattached, one of the things that my signature says at the bottom when someone emails me, I have a little quote. It’s simple and it says: “Love grows through practice.” You have to practice just showing up like, at Underground Unattached, you don’t have to go there and think, “I’m going to meet the love of my life!” or “I’ve got to meet him today. Where is he?” Go there and flirt! When you see a guy in a line at Starbucks, open a conversation with him. You have to show up in that area of your life and you have to work on it.

‏‏Right. Tony talks a lot about polarity. That was the first time I came across that concept of polarity, feminine, and masculine, and I became obsessed with it. I learned so much about it. I went on a whole journey of connecting to my feminine because my previous relationship left me so vulnerable. It was an abusive relationship, and I have to really gather the broken pieces to find my strength so, I became really masculine. I went out, I studied martial arts, I started MMA, I studied Aikido, and I became super hardcore. I was tough from the inside and from the outside. It’s hard for a masculine man to date a woman who is so much in here masculine because then, he feels like he’s dating another guy. Yes, I had a beautiful, feminine exterior, but I was kind of like a boy inside. I had to shed that too. It was a whole journey of connecting to my feminine, and I went and studied a lot with Sheila Kelley, I studied Pat Allen and Alison Armstrong, and many other methods-so many other methods. It’s not about being only feminine or only masculine, but it’s about knowing when and how to highlight both. The whole part of just relaxing into your body and flirting, that’s all feminine work. Right now, I’m at the point in my life where I did so much feminine work that I just started martial arts again because I want to get that energy back or just strengthen it. We do need both. I think that a lot of women need to work more on their feminine-especially, independent, entrepreneur, strong women because it’s so hard for them. I know. I’ve been there. My business was good, life was good, but I became so freaking hard that I couldn’t date a guy for more than a month or two, and then, everything was breaking apart. I was not letting my man be a man and the same for men. When Tony does the relationship trips for his Platinum Partners, and he gets Sheila Kelley to work with the ladies, and she does pole-dancing with them.

‏‏I took that for a couple of years in New York City.

‏‏Oh, cool! Yeah, cool! Oh my God! I love Sheila, and I went on retreats with her. I went on, maybe, four or five retreats with her already. For the guys, Tony brings self-defense and anything that is more masculine and a little more aggressive to connect them to that part because they have-if men are listening: You need to tap more to that part of yourself, and the women should learn how to tap into their feminine side, not as an absolute, but as a tool.

‏‏Yes, it’s so true. I have to say a lot of the information is so confusing out there to decipher what to do and what not to do. But very much, at the core of it all, is having the ability to be vulnerable being a woman, and once you allow yourself to do that, you give the man that security that he can be vulnerable as well because it’s a lot easier for us, women, to show emotion than it is for men. And so, when a man shows emotion, you’ve got to really be ready to accept that and harness that because it’s such a beautiful thing to get from him.

‏‏Right. Yeah, that’s beautiful.

‏‏Another thing that I would like to share since we’re talking about dating. We have recently brought on an adviser-our new adviser, Jon Birger. He is the author of Date-onomics. And what he did is, he looked at dating in the same way that Moneyball did the financial industry and what Freakonomics did for everything else. He looked at the space, and what he discovered is that, there are 33% percent more women graduating from college now than there are men. A college-educated woman wants a college-educated man. And with that said, it’s not that he’s not that into you, it’s that there’s not enough of him. If a woman seeks a relationship, she’s got to do all this work and show up for it because there’s just not enough of him.

‏‏Yeah, exactly! I held a workshop and it was by the name of Ready for Love. It was a five-hour workshop, and I really went deeper into self-love, acceptance, self-care, and polarity in relationships. I looked at the participants, and it was kind of funny, it’s kind of like, you see lightbulbs around them. They’re like, “Oh! Oh, really?” or “Oh, I can be open?” or “Oh, I can be vulnerable?” or “Oh, I can allow him to open the door for me and carry my groceries, and that’s a good thing?” “Yes! That’s a good thing! It’s exactly what you should do!” It’s very interesting. What are your three top advices to live a stellar life?

‏‏Oh, to live a stellar life, top advice-I think there’s a lot to do with, first off, self-work. I don’t care if it’s therapy, Kabbalah, a great reading material, or having a coach, but work on your soul. Have some soul work that you’re committed to, and some learning that you’re always working on your spiritual growth. Two is, show up. Show up for opportunities. Show up for people. Show up. And number three is, living a healthy lifestyle. Set yourself up. Eat the good foods. Present yourself. Get yourself ready. Take the time in the morning before you leave the home to get yourself together. Look presentable. Always be ready for any moment-for any unexpected moment. Be ready for that.

Take the time in the morning before you leave the home to get yourself together. Look presentable. Always be ready for any moment-for any unexpected moment. Be ready for that. Click To Tweet

‏‏Right, and Christina, you are so stylish. Every time I see you, you are so head-to-toe gorgeous.

‏‏Aww, thanks, love!

‏‏I really love that about you, among other things.

‏‏Thank you, thank you.

‏‏Yeah! Before we finish this incredible episode, one question that I had in mind and I was so curious about is, what does the name Underground Unattached mean? Then, where can people find you?

‏‏Underground Unattached-you know, when I first created this, I wanted it to be this secret thing that nobody really knows about, and only just the cool people, and it was super selective, and for us to come together so, that was like the “underground.” Then, “unattached”-we’re underground and unattached. Until you’re attached, you’re unattached.

‏‏That is so clever!

‏‏And then, where can people find us? UndergroundUnattached.com. We’re on Instagram, @UndergroundUnattached as well. You can find me at cw-for Christina Weber-so it’s cw@nullundergroundunattached.com. Feel free to send me an email. We have two up and coming experiences. We’re going to be in New York City on August 17th, and actually on August 15th, I’m going to be on the stage with The Great Love Debate in New York City. And then, on September 14th, we’ll be back in LA. We’re doing another experience here. It’s a Wednesday evening. Also, I’m back on stage with The Great Love Debate on August 31st in LA so, there’s many opportunities for connection. If you’re interested in joining our experience, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out and complete our questionnaire, and we’ll have a conversation about it.

‏‏Amazing! Thank you so much!

‏‏Thank you!

‏‏Thank you! Thank you, listeners. Keep going after your hearts and live a stellar life. I’ll catch up with you again on the next episode. Bye!

‏‏Bye!

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About Christina Weber

Christina’s nicknames include Relationship Activist, Your Love Accomplice, Feminine Weapon and The Human Linkedin. Her greatest strength is people. She loves matchmaking, connecting and guiding one towards greater fulfillment… while doing it for herself.