USA
HEBREW
In this Episode
- [02:27]Orion invites Dr. Srikumar Rao to reveal a cherished childhood memory and explore what brings him joy.
- [08:07]Dr. Srikumar unveils strategies to silence mental chatter and stop the destructive “second arrow” pattern.
- [12:12]The concept of duality takes center stage as Dr. Srikumar reveals how it creates our illusion of separation from true nature.
- [13:59]Orion opens up about her transformative spiritual awakening in an Indian ashram and its lasting impact on her worldview.
- [21:11]Building resilience becomes the focus as Orion seeks wisdom for navigating life’s inevitable challenges.
- [24:23]Dr. Srikumar delivers a powerful centering technique to reconnect with your inner guidance system.
- [38:19]Three essential principles for stellar living emerge as Dr. Srikumar caps off the conversation with actionable wisdom.
About Today’s Show
Hi Srikumar, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being here
My pleasure, Orion. I’m delighted to be here speaking to you today.
Thank you. Before we begin, maybe you can share one beautiful childhood memory with me.
This is one of my very earliest memories. I was in a small Indian town called Jabalpur, where my father was part of the military, and we had a fancy dress ball for children. I must have been two and a half, maybe three years old. My mother dressed me up as a little girl, and I won first prize.
That’s so sweet. How did you feel? Were you elated?
I just remember I felt good because everybody came around and said, “She is so pretty.” I got a lot of sweets. It was a good day.
That’s amazing. What makes you happy?
That’s a very good question. I would say that it’s not a specific thing that makes me happy. It’s the general feeling that I’m on the right track, doing exactly what I need to be doing at this point in my life. I’m very fortunate because, in doing what I do, lots of people say that they have been helped. It’s a win-win-win situation all around.
How do you help people?
I don’t really help people in the sense of I do it, but what I do is I share the teachings of the world’s greatest masters, which I have found very helpful in my own life and career.
I don’t really help people in the sense of I do it, but what I do is I share the teachings of the world’s greatest masters, which I have found very helpful in my own life and career. People look at that and say, “Gee, this stuff really works in my life.” So, I made Johnny Appleseed. I scattered the seeds, and many of them landed in fertile ground, becoming trees and eventually forests.
What is personal mastery? How does anyone become a master?
Personal mastery is basically your attempt to control your internal environment, the environment between your ears, because that is what matters, Orion. Most of us do not live in the real world. We live in a construct. We live in our minds. We never recognize that we’re living in a construct.
All of us are living in the ‘matrix’. This is not a ‘matrix’ created by an alien civilization out to enslave us. It’s something that we create with our mental chatter and mental models. Now this is actually a very liberating concept because if you live in the real world and you don’t like it, you’re screwed. Grin and bear it. But if you live in a construct and you don’t like it, you can deconstruct the parts of it that are not working and build it up again. You can do this over and over. And that’s what I have to do.
What’s the first step to deconstruct an illusion?
The first step in deconstructing is to recognize that it’s your mental chatter that creates the world you live in. Let me give you an example. If you’re an entrepreneur, and your husband is an entrepreneur, you can understand this readily. It’s a parable of the Buddha’s second arrow. So the Buddha asked Ananda, his disciple, “If an arrow were to hit you in the arm, would it not be very painful?”
Ananda nodded and said, “Yes, Lord, it would be very painful.”
“If a second arrow hit you exactly where the first arrow hit you, would it not be even more painful?”
Ananda nodded, “Yes, Lord, it would be even more painful.”
Everybody is on the path. Some walk it with awareness, most without. But we are all exactly where we need to be. Share on XAnd then the Buddha asked a surprising question, “Why then do you shoot the second arrow?” Now that requires some explanation, so let me explain by means of a story. There was a woman, attractive, good-looking, successful, and she had a very, very messy divorce, and it broke her up. It took her a long time to recover. But in bits and pieces, she put her life back together again, decided she was ready to explore.
She went to all the internet sites, filled in a profile, and she met this entrepreneur who was very successful, very funny. Most of all, he really seemed into her. After a few weeks of ‘WhatsApping’ and so on, they decided to meet in an upscale Manhattan cafe. She was all excited. She bought a new dress and they met. Fifteen minutes into that meeting, he gets up, throws us that kind of table, says, “I’m not interested,” and walks out.
She’s completely crushed. The only thing she can do is call her friend. Her friend says, “Well, why are you surprised? You have fat hips, and you’ve got nothing interesting to say. Why would a handsome, intelligent man pay any attention to you?”
The problem is not that we have mental chatter. The problem is that we identify with our mental chatter.
You’d probably be shocked at the thought that a friend said something like that to her at this juncture. You’re probably much less shocked if I said it wasn’t what a friend told her, it’s what she told herself. That is the second arrow.
The second arrow is always delivered by means of mental chatter. That’s the important point to remember. It’s bad enough being rejected. Does it make matters any better to tell yourself that you’re physically unattractive and socially maladroit? Of course not, but we do it all the time.
In fact, for most of my coaching clients, if I can get them to stop at the second arrow, they’d be way ahead of the game. By the time they realize what’s happening, they’re on their 5th, 9th, or 366th arrows.
Wow. How do we quiet the mind chatter? How do we eliminate those arrows?
You can’t eliminate it, but you can manage it better. The way to do that is the first exercise I assign to my clients and my students: become aware of your mental chatter. Mental chatter is not a problem. Mental chatter is like clouds in the sky. You go for a walk, you look up, and there are clouds in the sky. You finish your walk, you look up, and those clouds are gone. There are different clouds in the sky. Mental chatter is like that.
The problem is not that we have mental chatter. The problem is that we identify with our mental chatter. When you become your mental chatter, it can take you to all kinds of places that you don’t want to go.
So it’s about creating a new identity.
Yes, the first step is to observe it constantly. Observe your mental chatter, don’t become your mental chatter, don’t identify with it and then keep observing it. When you observe your mental chatter and you realize this is not reality, this is just my mind going. Then it loses its power to take you to places you don’t want to go.
How do you create the new identity? I understand being present and listening, but what are the steps to create the person you want to become and to step into that version of yourself?
You should have a clear idea of where I want to go and focus all of your thought power, which is really emotional energy, into that. But let’s take a step back. We all want to talk about the ultimate purpose of life. And as far as I’m concerned, the ultimate purpose of life is to recognize your true nature.
The true nature is that you’re not this body-mind intellect complex called. Orion, who’s conducting podcasts and whose husband is part of the Genius Network. That’s all a soap opera. That’s a rule. Who you really are is pure spirit. That’s what you’ve always been. So that’s what all the great masters knew, by the way. They were embedded in that. For us, having an intellectual understanding.
But we’re not really embedded in that. That’s not a lived reality. The purpose of making it our lived reality is a function of this human birth. Everything that happens is a tool. Your conducting podcasts is a tool. Meeting many people all over the world is a tool. Your husband is a tool. Your child is a tool.
By the very fact that you’re asking a question, you’re creating and sustaining a duality. There is you, and there is something out there that you have to understand.
You try to use these tools as skillfully as you can. You try to be the best wife you can be. You try to be the best mother you can be. But in the process of doing that, what you’re really doing is you’re working on yourself. And that’s the only thing you have in life.
Personally, I think I’ve traveled the world and studied under many masters, and all of their teachings were amazing and helped me grow. I feel like what you learn in a relationship, whether it is your spouse or your child, is next-level.
I like to say it’s the Swiss Army knife of tools.
Yeah, it’s amazing. I think I’ve grown so much as a person just from being a mom. I became so much kinder and patient.
They don’t teach you patience, do they?
I’m still a work in progress.
We’re all; you’re not the only one.
Definitely lots of lots of lots of teaching. When Dyer says that we are a spiritual being having a human experience. I want to ask you. When we enter this realm, planet Earth, when our soul enters our body, why do we forget? Why do we need this amnesia? Why can we just remember that we are consciousness and all that good stuff?
The short answer to that, Orion, is that there is no answer because what happens is that you’re asking a question. By the very fact that you’re asking a question, you’re creating and sustaining a duality. There is you, and there is something out there that you have to understand. There is a duality. But there is only one. There is no duality. So you cannot understand this with the thinking mind.
Many years ago, Swami Vivekananda was asked a difficult question along these lines. He thought for a while and said, “Your question will never be answered.” Because within maya—an Indian term for the great illusion we are stuck in. I’m sure you’ve run across it. Within maya, there is no answer. And outside of maya, there is no one left to ask the question. The problem that you have, and I have it, and virtually all of my coaching clients have it, is that we are left-brain creatures who live in our minds.
Whenever we are confronted with something, because we’re left-brain creatures who live in our minds, we attack it with the only tool we have, which is our mind.
Whenever we are confronted with something, because we’re left-brain creatures who live in our minds, we attack it with the only tool we have, which is our mind. So we try to understand it. This is not something you can understand. You can be, but you cannot know. I am that I am, that is it. So all these questions, ‘Why has this happened? Why did we become separate? How did the one become the many?’ You can’t answer it. You can transcend it, but you can’t understand it.
So, why are we here? I know I can’t understand it. I understand that I can’t understand it; it’s like I’m missing something. I want the answer. My left brain is screaming right now. I’m like, “Give me the answer. I want to know.” But there is a part of me that understands. I told you I spent some time in that ashram in India, and I had this amazing spiritual experience where I was in different realms with the monks. Like my spirit went into the body of a stray dog, and I started the temple’s gardens from the eye of the dead dog.
I went to the top of the mountain, and I was able to read the monkey’s thoughts. The monkey thought that he was the king of the temple. It was crazy, but it was still duality because it was me and something else me in something else. That was amazing, and actually, when I came back to the States after that experience.
I think I had severe ADHD where I couldn’t really talk and focus on people, even my clients. My eyes would always go somewhere. But after that experience, there was some rewiring that happened in my brain, and I was able to be there right there with people and help them and just be there. There was something spiritually amazing that happened there, but it was still a matter of duality.
It was very much a duality. When you were in there, it seemed completely real, correct? Only when you came out of it, did you say that was a dream, a transcendent experience or whatever, correct? In exactly the same way, the life you’re leading now, where you’re interviewing me and your husband just helped you with the technology, is every bit a dream. You only recognize that you’re in a dream when you wake up.
The whole journey is to wake up. Let’s take it this way, Orion. Let’s define real as that which always is, okay? Only that is real, which always is. Then Orion is not real because you go to sleep or you have this transcendent experience where you’re watching something through the eyes of a dog, and all of this has vanished at that time. That is not real either, because it isn’t there now, as you’re interviewing Dr. Rao.
So what are we doing here?
What is real when you’re looking through the eyes of the dog? What is real when you’re interviewing me? What is real is the knowledge that you exist. I am. You don’t have to ask, Stephan, ‘Do I exist?’ You know you exist. That awareness, that is your true nature, because that is always there under any circumstances. That is the reality. I am, and that is who you really are. So this identification with the body, mind, and intellect complex is the original mistake.
How can I become Neo from The Matrix?
Keep working at it. Keep observing your mental chatter. Do not be beguiled by where the mental chatter takes you. As you consistently do that, you will find your thought streams become weaker and weaker, less capable of taking you off. Eventually, one day, it will drop. You can’t force it to drop, but you can create circumstances under which it finds you inhospitable, and one day it leaves. Then you find that you’re exactly in the position where Jesus was when he said, “My Father and I are one.” There is only one, and that is pure awareness. There isn’t any Orion’s awareness, Dr. Rao’s awareness and Stephan’s. There is only awareness.
Do you feel like you were there in the awakened state already?
When Anthony DeMello was asked that question, he had a simple answer—he said, “How does it matter?”
Because it matters, because if you’re there, maybe you can give me a shortcut.
If someone is there, Orion, there is no one there because the person has disappeared.
Your awareness is like a flashlight. Most of us shine it only on what’s wrong. Instead, shine it on the hundreds of things that are right in your life. Share on XDo you think we’re gonna ascend eventually? Humanity will get to such a higher consciousness where we’re all gonna ascend into a different dimension?
Everybody is on that path, Orion. Some are there with awareness, and the vast overwhelming majority are not with awareness, but we’re all on the same journey. We’re all at the exact same spot where we need to be at any given time.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
If you were never born, how can you be reincarnated? You are pure awareness, and that’s who you always are. So what is there to reincarnate?
For example, I did some past life regression, and we did get into past lives and events that happened. Do you think this is still a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream—Inception?
Exactly correct. Yes, Inception is a wonderful movie. It is exactly like it is a dream within a dream. In fact, the person who’s had the greatest influence on my life is an Indian sage called Ramana Maharshi. If you’ve been to India, I’m sure you’ve heard of Ramana Maharshi.
I don’t need to. You hear about him everywhere.
He wasn’t an enlightened being, and the big advantage or the important factor about Ramana Maharshi was that he was contemporary. He gave up the body in 1950. Even today, some people knew him when he was in the flesh. The reason I mentioned that is I learned about Ramana Maharshi from a very famous bestseller called In A Search in Secret India by Paul Brunton.
It’s in colonial times by colonial Britain. It was a record of his spiritual quest. He talks about going to India, and he met Bhagwan Ramana Maharshi and was very impressed. Then he went off and was watching a movie in Bombay. All of a sudden, it came down to him, “What am I doing here? I’m watching an illusion within the illusion.”
That led him straight off to go back to Ramana Maharshi and spend more time in the ashram. And that account of his is there in A Search in Secret India. The last third of the book is pure gold. That’s why I make it a required reading for anybody who wants to take my course. A Search in Secret India by Paul Brunton.
I’ll check it out. For us who are not yet awakened here in the 3D reality, how do we handle life better? How can we become more resilient to environments, changes and world events? We are centered in the eye of the storm, and we are focusing on our awakening journey, our mission in this world and everything that we’re here to do.
A number of parts to that, let me answer them in sequence. The first thing is always to be aware of your mental chatter and recognize that you are not your mental chatter. Your mental chatter will take you to all kinds of places if you identify with it. Right now, people identify with their mental chatter and say, “My God, the world is in such a mess.” Look at the wars going on in the Middle East, in Ukraine, Nepal and Sudan. Multiple big wars are going on in the Middle East and Ukraine, but multiple smaller wars are taking place in many parts of the world right now. So that is your mental chatter agitator.
Many wars are going on right now, big ones in Ukraine and the Middle East, many smaller ones in parts of Africa, Asia and so on. Your mind goes out there, and you get agitated, “My God, it’s happening so much cruelty, so much death. Why is all of this happening, etc.?”
Father Anthony de Mello, a Jesuit priest who was also an enlightened being, had a tremendous influence on me. Used to say, “Are you bothered by all the suffering in the world? Are you bothered by the cruelty, by the inhumanity?” The answer is to wake up. You work on your own development, work on your spiritual progress, but in the meantime, because you are stuck in maya—the Sanskrit term for the great illusion we’re stuck in—you believe all of this is happening.
Whatever upsets you, it is incumbent upon you to do what you can to ameliorate the situation to the best of your ability. But a good way to do that is for you to recognize that you’re not really doing anything. Whatever is happening is being done through you.
You know, it’s as St. Paul said, “I live, yet not I, Christ lives within me.” Feel the presence of whatever spiritual being inspires you. It could be Allah, it could be Krishna, it could be Jesus, or it could be Moses. I live, I work, but it’s the universe working through me and not me doing it. Be an instrument of the universe.
When you live in the emotional domain of appreciation and gratitude, anger and fear cannot coexist with you. Share on XAs you do that, you will find that you’re more effective in what you do. And at the same time, you have much greater peace of mind, and joy comes into your life. This is something you have to try for yourself to experience what I’m saying. I am, that is what you have to know. That’s the only thing you need to know. I am.
What can be a practical tip when you’re watching the news and something horrific happens in the town near you, down the street from you? How do you handle it? What are some practical tips someone can use to go back into the center and connect to their guides?
Well, one is a very physical thing, which involves starting to notice your breath and slowing it down. Most of the time when we breathe, we breathe shallow and we breathe fast. Every time we’re agitated, we’re angry, nervous, fearful, full of lust, et cetera, then we are breathing fast and we’re breathing shallow.
The very act of slowing your breath and focusing on your breath, taking a deep breath, feeling your chest expand, taking it even deeper, and feeling your belly expand, will center you. Next, if something terrible has happened and it’s in the vicinity and you’re deeply affected by it, say, “What is it that I can do to help? Can I volunteer my services? Or if I don’t have time for that, can I contribute in cash? Can I raise support? Can I raise awareness for that?” Whatever you feel that you are capable of, given your constraints, you do that. Over and beyond that, recognize that we’re all connected.
These incidents, while horrific, may contain something within them that will eventually become better. Let me give you an example. Many people have suffered personal tragedy, but out of this tragedy, things have happened that have helped many. Take the organization that was created to ban land mines that won a Nobel Prize a few years ago, which was created because of personal loss. Organizations like Mothers Against Drunk Driving or Sisters Against Drunk Driving all stemmed from personal loss. So see what is bothering you and see in what way you can use that as a tool to make life, in some fashion, better. But understand that this, too, is a tool for you to work on yourself. Everything is a tool for you to work on yourself, so never lose sight of that.
What you’re saying, if I’m going to recap it, is when something happened, whether it’s in your mind or one is experiencing an anxiety attack or something physically is happening to them. First, you go into your body and into your breath, your breathing, and you get out of that mind chatter into the body. So you’re more grounded.
The next step is to step out of yourself and assist others. Because when you take care of others, you’re less concerned with your own thoughts and your own fears and your needs.
Even when you are doing what you can to take care of others, understand that it’s being done through you, and you are not doing it. Because if you think I am doing it, I’m helping people, you just get into another ego enhancement cycle, and you don’t want to do that. So by all means, do it.
The problem we have in our lives, Orion, is that all of us think that we are doing things. I am doing this. I worked hard. I went to university. I got good grades. I got a good job. I worked hard at my good job. That is an error. In reality, nothing is happening. It is all being done through you. It is all predestined. You only have the illusion of control.
So whatever you have, turn it over. The universe did it. Jesus did it. Krishna did it. Allah did it. Doesn’t matter. Turn it over. Thank you. Surrender all your results to that. Let me tell you a story. I have a grandson who visited me. He’s now six, but at that time he was about four. I took him out to an entertainment park, which is close to where I live.
In that entertainment park, there was a ride where you sit in a car and you can turn the steering wheel. And it’s a little bit like a mini roller coaster. So the ride started, and my grandson turned the wheel madly, and he had a horrible, thoroughly good time. When it was over, he looked at me, and his face was shining, he was beaming, and he was having a wonderful time. He said, “Was I a good driver?” I looked at his face and said, “You are the best driver in the world.” How can you tell a four-year-old kid that the entire ride is pre-programmed and whatever he did with the steering wheel had no impact whatsoever on the ride?
Do not be beguiled by where the mental chatter takes you. As you consistently do that, you will find your thought streams become weaker and weaker. Share on XIf this is the perspective, someone can take it and say, “Okay, I don’t even have to get out of bed tomorrow. Why would I even do anything?” Because I’m like, God would, it’s like moving everything, and the universe is moving me. I’ll just lie here all day long.
Guess how many times I’ve been asked that question. The very first time I taught the course at Columbia Business School, somebody asked me that question, and he wasn’t being a smart aleck. He said, “Okay, tomorrow the alarm clock is going to ring and I’m going to hit this news button. If I get the alarm clock, I’m going to throw my alarm clock out of the window. From now on, my life is going to be different, and beers and girls and football are going to figure very prominently and going to class or trying to find a job are not going to figure at all. Would it work?” The short answer is yes, it would work provided you occupy a particular emotional domain. In order to understand the emotional domain, let me tell you a story. When Sri Ramakrishna, who was another Indian sage, passed away, his disciples scattered all over India. One of them, who later became famous as Swami Brahmananda, was walking towards Varanasi, which is a holy Indian city. It was cold, and he hadn’t eaten for a number of days and all of a sudden, he couldn’t walk anymore. So he lay down under the tree, and he thought he was going to die, and it was fine with him. “Body goes no big deal if this is my time, this is my time,” and he shut his eyes.
Now somebody was coming behind him, and he looked at him and said, “Holy man, he’s inadequately clothed. He must be feeling cold.” He had a very expensive shawl around him, and he took the shawl off and draped Swami Brahmananda. Swami Brahmananda looked at that and said, “How wonderful is the universe. I was feeling cold, and it gave me a shawl.” Even as he was thinking that, the next person came down and said, “expensive shawl.” The guy seemed asleep, and the shawl vanished.
Swami Brahman at the birth started laughing. He said, “Even as I was giving thanks to the universe for giving me a shawl when it was cold, the shawl vanished.” How wonderful is the play of the universe! Orion, if that is the emotional domain you occupy, then yes, it’s okay for you to simply lie back and do nothing, and it’ll work. But that is not the emotional domain you occupy. That’s not the emotional domain anybody listening to this podcast occupies.
As long as you have such a vision, it is incumbent upon you to do your level best to achieve that vision. You may succeed, you may not succeed, it doesn’t matter.
If you’re not there, you live in an emotional domain where you have a vision for the world and in your vision for the world, there is a substantial role for you, maybe even a starring role for you. As long as you have such a vision, it is incumbent upon you to do your level best to achieve that vision. You may succeed, you may not succeed, it doesn’t matter.
The benefit to you is the learning and growth that happens in you and to you as you try your level best to achieve that. Remember, the purpose of washing dishes is not to get them clean. The purpose of washing dishes is to wash the dishes. The byproduct is that they get clean.
Try to control the situation through my 3D awareness.
I’m saying the purpose of washing dishes is not to wash the dishes. The purpose of washing dishes is to wash the dishes. The byproduct is that they become clean.
Yes, and it reminds me of a concept from Kabbalah. In Kabbalah, they do believe in reincarnation and that the purpose you came here to this world is your tikkun, which means correction. We all come here with something that needs to be worked on.
Whether or not it’s that some people need to learn more happiness, or some people need to learn how to overcome anger. Some people need to learn how to love more or love themselves more. I guess the purpose is through your vision that was given to you by the Creator universe God, whatever you call it, you go and you pursue that so your soul can expand and learn those lessons, but why do we need to learn these lessons if we’re just consciousness and there is no duality?
That’s the whole point. What happens is that in many traditions, like in India, you believe in reincarnation too. But the model is that you go through many incarnations, and the Buddha spoke about. I’ve been hundreds of incarnations, and I remember them all. But eventually, at the end of all of that, you worked out all the karma you have accumulated, and then you become one with everything.
I subscribe to a philosophy, Advaita Vedanta, which is, if you will, the shortcut, which is this: it is yourself. You have always been that, and all of these reincarnations are just like dreams. Don’t get hung up on that. Stick to your real nature, and then you’ll find that reincarnations are just like dreams. You don’t have to get wrapped up in that. If you will, this is the shortcut that you were looking for.
Maybe you can share a story about a client because a lot of people, a lot of successful people, are working with you. What do you find is the most common thing that they seek, and how do you help them?
Okay. I have a very specific niche, as I mentioned to you, Orion. I’m an executive coach. My niche is very successful people who are driven. Want to have a dent in want to make a dent in the universe, but they also have a spiritual bent that they want to bring to every aspect of their life. One of the things that I coach them on is to get rid of the sense of doership that you’re doing something.
Everything is preordained. You just don’t know what is preordained. Exactly as in the discussion we went through, we tell them you have a vision for the world, so you have to try your level best to achieve it. You may succeed, you may not succeed. Normally, if you don’t succeed, what happens? You go down into ‘should have done this, or I should not have invested in that process.’ Would have, could have, should have, all of that.
This leads you to tremendous emotional turmoil and maybe even depression. But in this case, say, I tried my level best, it didn’t work out; it was not just a matter of time to happen. Where do I go from here? So all of this second-guessing, all of this emotional turmoil simply goes away. You never talk about anything as if this is good or bad. You simply label it ‘This happened’.
Because what happens is we have a tremendous ability, no matter what happens to us, we label it immediately, it’s either good or bad. Look back on your life. Can you recall something that happened that, at the time it happened, you thought was terrible, but you can now look back and say, “Hey, this is actually pretty good.”
Yeah, many things.
Is what you’re about to label bad today, could it, in exousia, turn out to be fantastic? Just asking yourself that question moves you to a different emotional domain, and if you then ask yourself the next question, “What can I proactively do to actually make it a good thing?”
You move seamlessly from the realm of despair to the realm of possibility. You won’t believe how many entrepreneurs I’ve helped with that and how wonderful they think this tool is. They get depressed because a major customer leaves. But then, if they simply accept, okay, a major customer leaves, I have a lot of spare capacity, and tomorrow an even better customer, far better than they could ever have imagined, comes into their life. Don’t ever label anything that happens to you bad. Simply label it this happened and then ask, “How could this become a good thing in X years? And then what can I do to actually make that happen?” All of a sudden, you become incredibly resilient.
Think about how you’re incredibly fortunate and blessed. Bring back that feeling of appreciation and gratitude for how truly blessed you are.
What’s your personal dream? Where do you want to be? What’s your vision?
My vision is that I continue day by day to feel the presence of God, the presence of the universe in me, acting through me. It should become a visceral knowing as opposed to an intellectual understanding. There are many flashes of that, and I would like it to be permanent. At all times, at all places, under all circumstances. Does that make sense to you?
What are your three top tips to live a stellar life?
Number one, recognize that your awareness is like a flashlight. It illuminates whatever you shine it on. Typically, where do we shine the flashlight of our awareness on? We shine a light on the two, three or four things that are wrong in our lives. More precisely, in the two, three or four things that we think are wrong in our lives. What about the 50, 60, 200 things that are pretty damn good about our lives? You don’t have to worry about whether you’re going to have dinner tomorrow. You have a bed to sleep in, a roof over your head. We never shine the flashlight of our awareness on that. It passes by unnoticed. Lousy strategy. Starting immediately. Do it before you go to bed at night. Think about all the ways in which you’re incredibly fortunate and blessed.
When you get up in the morning, don’t go immediately to the space of, “My God, there’s too much to do and I don’t have enough time to do it.” Bring back that feeling of appreciation, gratitude for how truly fortunate and blessed you are. Bathe in it, shower in it, marinate in it, soak in it. As you go through the day, keep bringing it back. It is my hope that everybody who listens to this podcast starts living in the default emotional domain of appreciation and gratitude, because when you’re in that domain, you’re not angry, you’re not nervous, you’re not anxious, you’re not fearful; the two cannot coexist. Very simple.
Whenever anything happens to you, don’t label it as good or bad; label it as ‘this happened’.
Number two, whenever anything happens to you, we discussed this already, don’t label it as good or bad, simply label it as ‘this happened’. Then ask yourself, “How could this in X years turn out to be fantastic? What can I do to actually make it fantastic?”
The third tip is something that comes from the Native American tradition. It talks about a young man who is growing up to become part of the tribe. The final rite of passage is the conversation with the medicine man. And the medicine man tells him, “Here is this dog, kind, loving, intelligent, trustworthy. And here is this wolf, malevolent, vicious, ready to snap at and kill anything. The dog and the wolf are fighting. And the dog and the wolf are both inside you.”
The young man asks, “Which one’s going to win?” And the medicine man says, whichever one you feed. Inside each one of us are altruistic ‘let’s help each other and make the world a better place impulses.’ In each one of us, there are ‘let me grab what I can for myself, and the devil take the hindmost impulses.’ It’s your responsibility to selectively identify and feed the dog in you.
It’s also your responsibility to selectively identify and feed the dog and everyone you meet. When the dog in you becomes friends with the dog and the other person, magic happens in both your lives. All too often, we feed the wolf, and we don’t even know we’re doing that. Say you’re having a bad day at work, you go to the coffee machine, and a colleague comes up to you and says, “I’m having a bad day at work.” And you say, “You’re having a bad day at work? Let me tell you about my bad day at work.”
Your bad day at work trumps his bad day at work, and you go off feeling smug. You’ve just fed the wolf in both yourself and the other person. If instead you had gone, “You’re having a bad day at work, I’m having a bad day at work, we both work here, what can we do collectively to make sure no one has such a bad day at work again?” And now you started feeding the wolf.
Ask yourself in every conversation you have with your partner, with your child, with your boss, with your colleagues, with your Uber driver who takes you to the airport. Am I feeding the dog or am I feeding the wolf? Am I actually behaving in a manner that leaves this person feeling better about themselves? Or am I pulling them into a downward war picks? Am I feeding the dog or am I feeding the wolf? Just ask yourself that question with every interaction.
And you will discover that you cannot feed the dog in another person without simultaneously feeding the dog in you. Just asking yourself that question in every interaction will transform your life.
That’s beautiful. Srikumar, thank you so much for being here. Where can people find you and learn from you?
The best way is for people to go to my website. It’s www.theraoinstitute.com. They can email me. My email is srikumar.rao@theraoinstitute.com. They can go to YouTube, put my name in the search engine, and dozens of videos will pop up. So many ways that people can get in touch with me.
Thank you so, so much for being here. I appreciate your wisdom. Thank you for sharing your light with the world.
Wonderful, Orion, and thank you for having me on your podcast. I look forward to seeing it come out, and when you do send it to me, I will circulate it to my list.
Thank you, and thank you, listeners. Remember to focus your awareness because your awareness illuminates your life. Focus on gratitude and appreciation. Do not label what is happening to you as good or bad, and just think about the gift that can come out of whatever situation you’re in. Which one do you feed, the dog or the wolf? In every interaction in your life. Make sure that you’re feeding what is good, feeding the light, because that’s how your life is gonna unfold and manifest. Share your light with the world and have a stellar life. This is Orion, till next time.
