Episode 88 | October 31, 2017

The Art of Loving Fear with Kristen Ulmer ​

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Mission #88

On Board: Kristen Ulmer
Mission: The Art of Loving Fear

The Co-Pilot:

Are you looking to conquer and overcome your fear? You’ve come to the right place! Not because my guest is going to help you do that (she’s not), but because she’ll help you understand why that’s not a healthy attitude to take toward fear.  A healthy relationship with fear involves embracing, loving, nourishing, and accepting it like you would a child.

My guest today, Kristen Ulmer, is intimately familiar with fear. She was recognized as the best female big mountain extreme skier in the world for twelve years. She was also voted the most fearless woman athlete in North America. These accomplishments, combined with 15 years of studying zen, have allowed her to help thousands of clients to embrace fear. Her book, The Art of Fear, radically challenges existing norms about what to do with fear and anxiety.

Connect With Kristen:

kristenulmer.com
Kristen Ulmer on Facebook
Kristen Ulmer on Instagram

The Mission Log:

  • [02:57] – Kristen starts things off by telling us a bit about herself and explaining how she became experienced with fear.
    [04:08] – We learn about the day that Kristen became famous.
  • [06:40] – Kristen discusses whether our relationship with fear can change as we get older, explaining that fear that we haven’t dealt with backs up as we age.
  • [11:03] – What is fear? How would Kristen describe fear?
  • [13:28] – Trying to deal with our emotions intellectually can create problems, Kristen explains, and offers another way of dealing with them.
  • [14:16] – Kristen talks about how she deals with fear of rejection. Orion then explains that fear of rejection is both a powerful motivator in her life and something that sometimes holds her back.
  • [17:15] – Kristen explains why “conquering” or “overcoming” fear is a bad strategy to employ, and what we should do with it instead.
  • [19:42] – You can get away with controlling your fear for about ten years before it starts to catch up with you, Kristen points out.
  • [22:02] – Orion talks about Kristen’s way of dealing with archetypes and discusses how this relates to the work that she does with her clients.
  • [24:12] – Kristen explains that there aren’t different types of fear, there’s only fear. Our minds, though, categorizes it as good or bad.
  • [28:09] – Owning fear and knowing that you’re never going to get rid of it is the first step in having a healthy relationship with fear, Kristen explains.
  • [30:48] – We deaden ourselves to not deal with our emotions (including fear), but we’re here to feel alive.
  • [33:27] – Orion is going to Israel next week. She explains how her experience of the expression of feelings in Israel relates to what Kristen has been saying.
  • [34:34] – Kristen talks about people who are overly emotional or whose fear seems irrational.
  • [39:27] – What Kristen has been saying resonates with something Orion learned at Oneness University: “let the tiger devour you.”
  • [43:48] – The way that you talk about fear is one of the most important shifts you can make in order to have a better relationship with it.
  • [45:50] – Kristen discusses how she came up with her methodology surrounding fear.
  • [48:28] – What make Kristen write her book The Art of Fear? She answers, then shares a couple of stories.
  • [52:19] – Orion and Kristen discuss the role of fear in going to India, with Orion sharing a story about an encounter with an elephant.
  • [55:13] – We hear about one of Orion’s clients, who was afraid to break up a toxic relationship.
  • [57:54] – If you want to get out of a toxic relationship and they’ve gotten in touch with their fear, what’s the next step?
  • [62:53] – Kristen emphasizes the importance of changing the language we use around fear.
  • [65:23] – What are Kristen’s three top tips for living a stellar life? 1. Have a fear practice. 2. Become aware of your resistance to anything unpleasant. 3. Take your love and wrap it around fear.

Links and Resources:

 

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