Higher Living Through Sacred Sex with Jade Bryce

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About Today’s Show

Hi, Jade. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being here. 

Hi, I’m so glad to be here. 

Yeah, I’m so excited. Everything that you do just seems so exciting and juicy. Before we dive in, maybe you can share a little bit about that passion of yours, how you got into that, and how it evolved over the years. 

I’ve always had a strong desire to somehow help people who have had trauma. I never exactly knew how I would go about that, but even as a teenager, I was heavily involved in church. It was a bit dogmatic, which actually traumatized me a bit, but I was very involved in the church, trying to be useful and feeling that there was something bigger that I could be a part of. Then, in my 20s, I began working with children in Uganda and providing meals to the homeless, among other things. There was always something I was looking for, and it was always beneficial and important. 

“Hurt people hurt people.”

But it wasn’t until I started to heal my own trauma that I realized that a lot of the pain in the world is because there are so many people. You hear the saying all the time, “Hurt people hurt people.” I started to realize that once I started to heal my own trauma, mainly because I became a mother, I really didn’t want my children to go through what I went through. I went on this whole discovery of how to be in healthier relationships, even down to the simple things of motherhood, such as being more patient. 

But the main thing was, I didn’t want to pass on my trauma. It was when I started to actually heal my own trauma that I really wanted to be a part of helping others heal theirs. I started to study Imago Therapy. I started to study the chakra system. I was studying everything inner child work and internal family systems. I think my biggest wound that rippled into a lot of other areas was my sexual trauma. Then, as many of us have, my abandonment trauma from my parents and sexual trauma, there’s a lot of betrayal wrapped up in that. 

What it looks like after our sexual trauma. There may be abandonment wounds wrapped up in there right as well, because maybe our parents weren’t there for us, or maybe we didn’t feel wrapped up by our community, and so so much can be wrapped up in our sexual trauma. But it was when I started to heal mine that a lot of other layers started to unfold as well, like the betrayal, but also the unworthiness wound, and the feeling of being able to receive, like there was so much wrapped up in that one wound of the sexual trauma. 

When I really started to dive into that, I started to realize how much was there, but not only that, how much power was in the healing of it, how much potency was in our sexual energy, especially as a woman and as a man. I haven’t studied men’s sexuality as much, but men being able to really be integral in their sexual energy and all of that, that’s a whole other, very powerful area.

But what I really studied was women’s sexuality. When a woman can really feel that she can resource from within herself, she’s not having to resource it from outside, which is also, when you think about that, it also heals some of that anxious attachment wound, right? Because we’re learning to go within. 

There’s so much wrapped up in that one area of my life, of my sexual trauma, that when I started to heal, I thought, “This is it. This is where so much lies.” Even when it comes to inner child trauma, or maybe speaking up for ourselves, right? If we learn to do that in our sexuality, if we learn to be able to in the bedroom, speak our needs, or speak our preferences, it’s so much easier to do that out in life. 

When a woman can feel that she can resource from within herself, she’s not having to resource it from outside.

A lot of us, as inappropriate as it sounds, our inner child is actually running the show, not only in our conflicts and our relationships and our friendships, but also in our sexuality, because it’s more at the forefront of every area of our life. We don’t realize that we’re not reaching our potential in our sexuality, because we’re not allowing our inner queen to come forth in that area and to know that not only are we deserving to receive, but are we also able to actually allow ourselves to be fully seen? Are we allowing ourselves to be fully felt? Are we allowing ourselves to be truly intimate with our beloved in a way that, when you look at all the other areas of our lives, it’s actually showing up everywhere else too, like our inner child is running the show, keeping us from being fully seen? 

There’s a saying that someone had said on my podcast a couple of years ago that always stuck with me, and it’s the way you have sex is the way you live life. I think it’s so true. If you are having a watered-down version of intimacy in the bedroom, you’re probably living that way too. If you’re afraid to experience that loud, uninhibited pleasure, you’re probably living that way, too, and they say this about dance, too. If you look at the way someone dances, if they’re rigid and they don’t allow their body to really move, they may be feeling that way in life.

I really think it connects to how we show up in the bedroom as well. If we are afraid to let ourselves be fully seen, like letting our partners see us, whether it’s our wild animal or our goddess self or that uninhibited pleasure priestess, whatever it is, or even just feeling confident in our ability to please our partner, whatever it is, if you look at the rest of your life, it probably shows up in other areas as well. 

I do feel that when we heal our sexuality, a lot of those other wounds that show up in the inner child, the attachment, the abilities to speak up for ourselves, boundaries, all of it, it does start to ripple out. It’s not a cure-all, but it starts to ripple out, and it does transform many different areas. That’s why I got like once I started to get into the sexuality, the healing of my sexuality, even though I done so many other things, it felt like this is where I’m going to spend a lot of time, not only for myself, but also in what I teach and in what I discuss and in the programs that I create.

How do you feel about healing your sexuality, healing your relationship, or enhancing your relationship?

A lot of us, as inappropriate as it sounds, our inner child is actually running the show, not only in our conflicts and our relationships and our friendships, but also in our sexuality.

The majority of my 20s, I was very out of body and had intimacy with partners. I almost felt like when I look back at those relationships or the people I dated, and you know, in my 20s, I was a ring girl for a fight League, and I was in the Playboy Mansion, and so this wasn’t just an intimacy with my partners. I felt that my body was kind of a workplace, and I was kind of on autopilot with it. My sensuality all around, and you would maybe think, when you look at a Playboy model, or you look at someone ring girl, you maybe think like, “Oh, they’re so confident,” or, “Man, they’re so sensual.” But I actually was not. I was on such autopilot, so much so that when I was intimate with people, I was very out of body. I couldn’t experience pleasure from another. Even when I did have pleasure, the pleasure felt out of body, too. It wasn’t like I was fully experiencing it.

Like somebody else is having the pleasure, or somebody else is having the sex.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, or been in a room with people, and not felt fully present? I was feeling that way even in intimacy, which is the place where you really want to be the most present, and so it’s such an important area of our lives. It was also affecting the partners I was calling in, because it was calling in partners who treated me almost like a human masturbation tool. It wasn’t like they cared about my heart or what I was experiencing. It was all about them. 

It wasn’t until I was 34 or 35 that I entered into a relationship with a man who actually did care about my pleasure, who actually cared about what our intimacy was like, who wanted to talk about it, and who wanted us to have a closeness in that area. It was the first time I’d ever experienced that. That was when I realized, “Oh my gosh, I cannot look a man in the eyes, not only in the bedroom at all. I cannot look a man in the eyes, and I feel like I can’t be in my body.” That was an invitation for me to really go into it. 

That relationship lasted three years. He didn’t end up being my person, but because he provided such a safe space and was the first person who actually cared, that was the relationship where I really bloomed. And then the two relationships to follow. I had one more after him, and then my husband. It’s a completely different relationship in the sense that because I’m able to allow myself to receive, I’m able to allow myself, because one of my big wounds was not allowing myself to receive. It was like, if someone was the one to give it to me, then they could also take it away. 

I was very much the woman in the relationship who was guarded, and I had to be the one. It was almost like a control thing, like I had to be the one to have my name on the lease, or I had to be the one who didn’t want anything to be taken away. When I allowed myself to receive in the bedroom, it really started to break open to where I could receive in all areas, like provision, protection, and more love. It opened my heart more outside the bedroom, but also because I think it’s so much wrapped up in our worthiness as well. 

Sometimes when we don’t feel the ability to receive or we don’t feel the ability to be seen in the bedroom, it’s because we don’t feel good enough. If we allow that to happen, then all of those vulnerabilities are more to the surface as well. When that healed, and I was in that one relationship, it carried into the next two. I was never fully healed. My inner child still tries to show up in conflict and cause me to shut down. And then, luckily, my partner is really, really great at calling me on it and telling me, like, “Oh, you’re shutting down right now.” 

He doesn’t really allow me to go there. He helps me out of it. But that worthiness, if that wasn’t there in the bedroom, then even in the inner child wound in conflict. When my partner was to point that out, like, “Oh, you’re shutting down.” And I realized, like, “Oh, I can’t look him in the eye right now, my inner child’s taking over.” Then I would go into a shame spiral because I would feel so unworthy of the process that I’m even in, and I wouldn’t be able to show up fully. It changed my relationship, not only in how I show up in conflict, but also in how I receive financially and how much love I allow in from my partner. Additionally, it changed the pleasure I’m able to receive. When a woman’s able to receive pleasure, I truly think it changes her life as well. I don’t know if you’ve read Pussy by Regena Thomashauer? 

No, I haven’t, but I know Mama Gena. 

She talks about pleasure and how it changes a woman’s nervous system. It changes a woman’s brain, even changing the way that she operates in the world. It’s amazing when you’re able to receive that from yourself, and that’s, for a lot of us, the first step, when you’re also able to receive it from a partner. I feel that it truly changes how we operate in the world, like you think about a woman who has a love life, or a relationship with herself, even though it is void of pleasure. 

You think about how she may operate in the world, how she may walk through the grocery store, how she may talk to a stranger. As a mother, this isn’t really realistic to say daily, but think about a woman you know who, this last week, had sex orgasms with her partner, or she had a practice with herself, whether it was a cacao practice or a hot bath, whatever it was, where she allowed herself to really flood her nervous system and pleasure. Think about how she walks through the grocery store, how she talks to a stranger, how she feels just in life, and it really is like a night and day difference.

The way you have sex is the way you live life.

But what was it on the journey? Was it finding the right partner that could help you heal? Or did you go and study, and that helped you heal first? What came first? Or was it together? And if it was together, how did your partner or partners react to that? 

Yeah, I think it’s different for everyone. But for me, I didn’t notice that I had this wound until a partner showed up who cared about it. So that’s what highlighted it to me. However, when he highlighted the out to me and I dove into it, I then outgrew that partner, because that partner, although he wanted great sex with me, there was a spiritual disconnect. He wasn’t actually looking for a spiritual connection, more like that, like a deep, physical connection. And so I feel that, like when it comes down to what comes first, the partnership or the deep dive on our own. 

We can’t really outsource it to, “Well, it’s my partner who doesn’t desire this with me, or my partner doesn’t show up in this way,” because then we’re giving our power away. A lot of times when we change something in ourselves, we’ll see that change in our partnership, because our partner is a mirror, no matter who our partner is, whether it was one like that one that I had, or the one I had after that was very spiritually evolved and wanted to connect on all levels, not just physically and intimately, but also spiritually, no matter which partnership I was in or with my partner now who is like meets me in all ways. 

It’s up to me to unlock that within myself, because you could look at all three of those partners, and no matter who I’m with, if I’m not doing that work within myself, it’s going to show up in my relationship. So you can do that work, and then your partner shows up and meets you, or you’re able to at least transform it to where your partner then follows. A lot of times, we want men to be the leader, but a lot of times in intimacy and sexuality, it is the woman who leads the energy. The woman sets the tone in that area. However, many of us are waiting for our partner to make a difference, or to show up in a certain way, or to do something in the bedroom that unlocks us.

What’s a quick example of the shift that we can have in order to elevate our partners and our sexual life? What’s the healing process? Do you go to a tantra school? Do you work with somebody? Do you read something? What’s the process of elevating this knowledge and implementing it in the bedroom?

When I allowed myself to receive in the bedroom, it started to open up, allowing me to receive in all areas, such as provision, protection, and more love.

Yeah, those are all good steps, and they can all be helpful. I think what’s most important is experiencing it with yourself first, because if you don’t experience it with yourself, you cannot experience it with your partner. Your partner can elevate it, amplify it, magnify it, but if you don’t first experience it in your own practice, you’re not going to know how to experience it with your partner. It’s like the inner child wounding. Yes, your partner helps you so much to heal your inner child by providing safety. 

But if you said it before we hit record, about feeling safe in Israel, it’s something you feel first. If you don’t know how to provide safety for your inner child, nothing your partner does is going to allow you to feel that safety. So much of our wounding happens in relationships, so much of our healing happens in relationships. But if we don’t know what it feels like to be safe in our nervous system, we will not receive it from another. It feels too scary. 

It feels too foreign, in that when it comes to pleasure in our sex life, we have to let our nervous system know that it’s safe to feel it. We have to let our nervous system know that it’s even possible. And so that happens in our own self-practice, and it doesn’t have to be. I think a lot of women, especially mothers or entrepreneurs, feel that they don’t have the time for that, that it’s too time-consuming. 

But whatever your practice is, just allowing your body to feel pleasure during that and allowing yourself to experience like self-touch, whether you’re using a jade egg or a cervical wand, or you’re just using your own physical touch, allowing yourself to receive in that way, and telling your nervous system, this is safe, I deserve this, and even just making the time for it, is telling your nervous system that you deserve it, because a lot of times when you don’t take the time for it, we’re telling our bodies, “I don’t deserve the pleasure because we’re not time for it.” So when we make the time for it, we’re teaching our bodies, “I deserve this. I am worthy of this. This is safe to feel.” The deeper we go into that with ourselves, the more we can feel it with a partner, and the more we feel it with a partner, the more it invites them into feeling it with us.

What are some self-pleasure practices you teach your clients? 

The first thing that’s really important with self-pleasure is that we feel a yes from our body and that we experience consent. Because a lot of our pain, not just in our sexuality, but in all areas, comes from things not being consensual. It’s like we forced ourselves into some trauma healing experience, but our body actually wasn’t ready for it, and then we just re-traumatized ourselves. So when entering into a self pleasure practice, and it becomes quicker and quicker each time, but just making sure that your body is actually feeling a yes, that your body feels safe to do it, and you’re not rushing yourself into like, “I have to do this because this is the only way I’m gonna heal.” That’s actually just re-traumatizing.

How do you get the yes from the body? How do you tune in?

Learning to hear from your body. Sometimes, when I go into my practice, I can just feel and everybody’s body speaks differently to them, but you can feel like an opening and an expansion, like you want to flow there, whereas, like when it’s a no, you feel like a contraction. You feel a tightness. If you keep feeling that that may actually be trauma, where you still need to stay within your window of tolerance, but still push your edge, “I’m going to do a little bit each time so that I can warm myself up, or I can soften this part of me.” 

But a lot of times, what you can do if you keep feeling a no, which is like that contraction and that tightness, is do something that also feels like pleasure, whether that’s dance, eating some chocolate, like slowly, whether that’s a breast massage, whether that’s an oil bath, and you slowly start to open your body up to feeling good, because a lot of us are so shut down when it comes to allowing that. When we start to open up and receive a yes from our body, then there are a couple of different practices. One of my favorites is cervical de-armoring. 

Another one is just breathing through. There are two people that I really love, Joe Dispenza and Emily Fletcher, with breathwork and meditation. You can put on one of their meditations, but you’ll do that simple breathwork. The good thing about breath work, and both of them are great, is that it causes you to let go of control. A lot of times, when we’re getting a no or we’re feeling really rigid or contracted, it’s because some of our trauma is keeping us in a state. 

When a woman can receive pleasure, I truly think it changes her life as well.

If we can enter into that practice using breathwork or meditation, then we get out of that prefrontal cortex that’s like the judgment brain, which is the part of our brain that would maybe also tell us that we’re not deserving, or we need to be doing something more productive, or this isn’t showing up for our family, whatever it is when we use that breathwork to get out of the control mindset, then we get more into our bodies. So that’s really important. And then inviting in touch, whether that’s a touch of our breast or our clitoris, whatever it is that brings pleasure. 

For a lot of women, when you first do this, you’ll feel numb. You actually won’t feel pleasure, but it’s because we’re shut down in those areas, or we’re out of our bodies. So it’s like also taking a lot of patience, like being with whatever happens. If you don’t feel anything and you’re numb, you still allow yourself whatever amount of time you set, 15 to 30 minutes, and then you show up to your practice again. It’s just like wanting to write a book, or it’s just like going to the gym. You may not see results or feel super creative the first time, but you continue to show up. 

As you continue to show up, that’s when those layers start to melt away. It could just involve breathwork, meditation, and some touching of your body. It could be an actual practice, such as cervical de-armoring. There are also things like the jade egg, but it’s really allowing yourself to teach your nervous system that it’s safe to feel pleasure. 

I heard some people say that jade eggs can harbor bacteria, which is not safe. 

I would say, if you’re new to using tools, start with a crystal wand or a glass wand, because the jade egg involves a lot of hygiene, because there’s a hole in it. You want to make sure the hole is perfectly clean. If you use a high-quality crystal wand or glass wand, you don’t really have to worry about that. All you have to do is wash it with soap and water. There are no holes. There’s nothing extra that you need to do. 

So, what do you need to do with jade eggs? 

Jade eggs have a hole that you put a string through. It’s really not that difficult. You want to make sure you’re changing your string every time, and you want to make sure that that string is something that you are okay with having in your body, such as silk or unflavored organic dental floss. You never want to use something synthetic. Additionally, with the whole, you want to ensure that as soon as you’re done using it, you wash it with hot water. I use Dr. Bronner’s soap. 

So something that is like, you’re okay having that in your body. You don’t want to use something like Dove soap to wash it; things like that. It’s really not a difficult thing to care for. I personally don’t know anyone who has had any issues keeping their product sanitary. You don’t want to keep it in for more than four hours. I have heard of women who like to keep it in all day, and there have been issues there. It’s also a powerful tool. You want to keep it sacred, and you only use it for your practice.

I want to go into what cervical de-armoring is.

Cervical drain. Close off on the previous thing, really quickly. One thing that I will say is key in those practices is allowing yourself to sound. It amplifies pleasure. It also moves energy.

A lot of times, we want men to be the leader, but a lot of times in intimacy and sexuality, it is the woman who leads the energy.

It’s also calming down when you’re humming or singing. It calms down the vagus nerve, and it sends the brain a signal that you are now relaxed and you’re safe. And when you’re relaxing, safe and open, then you can enjoy pleasure.

A lot of us are judging our sound, or we’re afraid that we sound weird, or we don’t want to be too loud again, which probably shows up in other areas of our lives. When we’re bringing sound in and we’re allowing whatever sounds want to come out, that actually not only moves the energy, but also amplifies the pleasure. You want to do all of that in your personal practice, and then when you bring it into your partner practice, you’ll realize that you feel so much more, you’re so much more in your body. You feel so much pleasure. But a lot of us shut down the sound. That’s like one of the main things we do in our practice, and we want to allow sound. We want to connect with our breath, and we also want to ensure that our body is allowed to move in the way it wants to. 

So, cervical de-armoring is just a process of humming or singing, or what does it look like? 

No. I just wanted to close that off from the previous topic, but it goes into cervical de-armoring. And that with cervical de-armoring, firstly, you’ll need a cervical wand. It’s almost like a snake-shaped wand. A lot of women are intimidated by it, but you’re only using about half of the wand when you’re entering it. The reason why it’s a curve is that the point of it will touch your cervix on the side of it. What you’re doing when you’re placing the cervical wand in, and again, you always want to practice consent and feel a yes from your body. 

The more you ask your body yes or no questions, the more you’ll feel what a yes or no feels like. When you feel that yes, and you enter the cervical wand, you always want to enter it slowly. I like to hold it in my hand and just kind of warm up the part that’s going to enter my body, and put my intentions into it. Speak my intentions, speak my prayers. Then you’ll want to slowly enter it into your body as it reaches your cervix, which you’ll feel, and you cannot go any further. 

The first thing that’s really important with self-pleasure is that we feel a yes from our body and that we experience consent.

That’s your cervix. That tip is going to be touching a certain part that you can intuitively feel, where it should be placed. But if you’re actually going to follow a process, you could do twelve o’clock, three o’clock, six o’clock, nine o’clock, so that you’re going all the way around the cervix, and when you’re touching those points on your cervix. The reason why sound is so important is because our cervix, a lot of us, the reason why it’s important to dearmor it, because it has become armored through some of us, sexual trauma and betrayal. 

I think it is one of three. One in three women had sexual trauma or something crazy like that. That’s a lot of women.

Yeah, one in three. But that’s when we’re speaking about violation and assault, right? Many of us, women, have also had sex when we didn’t want to. 

No boundaries. 

It’s like a self-violation, right? And so our cervix began to armor itself through each of those experiences, some of us would just cram a tampon up there, even without really feeling into our bodies. There are many different ways in which we’ve also violated ourselves.

I’ve never heard that concept of asking consent from our own body or self-violation. This is really fascinating. It’s amazing.

Well, yeah. When we learn that self consent, that I think in anything, in any trauma healing practice that we go into, whether it’s we’re going to do a group trauma experience, or we’re going to a ceremony, or whatever it is, always listening to your body, it keeps us from being in that trauma loop of just re traumatizing ourselves. But also, you know, I brought up the tampons and not even listening to our bodies, just like cramming it in. A lot of us have gone to some really harsh OBGYN visits. 

Oh my goodness, yeah, I remember that. Oh gosh, yes, terrible. 

There are so many things outside of just harassment or assault, when our cervix is armored due to things being crammed into our bodies, or not feeling consent, or not feeling safe, even being performative in our if we’re in a safe partnership. But like, maybe we didn’t really want to have sex, but we felt like we had to perform a certain way. There are so many ways that we have armored our cervix. Also, it can be generational. It can be something that we carried down from our ancestral line, pain in our cervix, or an armored cervix. 

When we go in with the wand and we place it on those points, 12, 369, and again, you can place it on any point that you intuitively feel like placing it on, just really feeling into it. But what you want to do is you breathe in to feel what’s there. You’ll say the cervical wand is at twelve o’clock. You breathe in, and you just feel the emotion of what’s there. For a lot of us, the first emotion is grief. And so it can feel a little scary to go into that. But the thing is, if you don’t go into it, and you don’t feel it, it’s not going to heal, it’s going to stay there. You breathe in to feel, and then when you exhale, you sound, and that sound is what’s going to move the grief. 

It’s what’s going to process the grief. Because that’s what sound does, it moves energy. You’ll do that at 12 o’clock for as long as you feel you need to be there. Once you feel ready to move on to the next place, you’ll go to three o’clock, six o’clock, nine o’clock, and you’ll repeat the process, breathing in the feel, exhaling the sound, and you’ll be surprised how much more you can feel in your pleasure practice or in your intimacy with your partner. When you have the arm or your cervix, your body actually opens up in ways that you will feel a difference in your body, like it will feel more open when you take your partner into your body.

It’s one of the most powerful practices that I believe we can do, not only for ourselves, but for our intimacy with our partner. What I feel is that the earlier you do it, in your trauma, your sexual trauma, healing or in your pleasure practices, the more you’ll be able to open up in those practices as well. Then I’d say the cervical practice, it’s not a one time thing, if you’re doing it every other week or once a month, and in between that you’re incorporating some pleasure practices, it’s going to change the way that you experience sex with your partner, but like we were discussing before, this is something that you really have to unlock within yourself, and then you bring it into your partnership, because it’s not while you and your partner are in each other’s care, and it is partly our job to help our partners heal. Ultimately, we cannot do that work with our partner unless we’re doing it with ourselves. So yeah, cervical de-armoring, I think, is one of the first, if not the first, things that is so beneficial to do in this process of self-pleasure and trauma healing when it comes to our sex life.

When you did it for yourself, or when you saw other women do it for your clients, what shifts did you see in them or with their relationship? 

It’s interesting. I would have to look at photos of myself to see, but a lot of women say that they even feel that their face changes, like their face shifts, almost like it becomes more toned. And, you know, like there’s a connection there between the cervix and the face. I have heard that a lot. I actually haven’t looked for myself, but they say it’s almost like they feel younger in their appearance. So, there’s that: in Taoism, the cervix is taught to be very closely connected to the heart. So if you have an armored cervix, you likely have an armored heart. 

When you de-armor the cervix, your heart is able to open more as well, and you feel softer. You feel more open, you feel more able to connect on a heart level, because they are so connected. And I know for one client that’s worked with me for a long time, she said that the cervical de armoring just in itself, that she felt like it unlocked a completely different woman in her in her expression, like in her ability to feel kind of like a wild woman, to be able to go take a dance class and feel like she really is, like unleashed in it, I know for me, it felt mostly ancestral. 

The good thing about breath work is that it causes you to let go of control.

Actually, it felt like I was carrying a lot of wounds in my cervix. because I come from a long line of Native American ancestry. When you think about the trauma that that culture has gone through, especially a lot of the rapes that the women have gone through in the Native American culture, I know for me, the one of the first times I did cervical de armoring, and I did that sound to release. It sounded like a bunch of different women sounding through me. 

For me, it felt like I was not only healing my own cervix, but I was also healing my lineage. What feels beautiful, being the mother to two daughters, is that I feel that I’m doing that work for them as well. For me, it’s more of an inner knowing. Well, yes, I feel that I’ve expressed differently in the world. For me, it feels more like an inner knowing that things have shifted, not only for me, but for my family. 

That’s beautiful. You’re so brave to go and take that route and be so fully expressed and vulnerable with who you are and your sexuality, and helping other people heal theirs, and giving them permission to feel the pleasure, to release the healing that you do. This is so beautiful.

Thank you. I do feel brave. So, thank you.

You gotta be brave to do what you do, even though we’ve come a long way. But even I, with my new website, talked a little bit about it, and my designer was laughing at me because he said, “We need a headshot, but all your shirts are very, very open.” We need to have a professional headshot, because I also have another project that is more kind of conservative, and I need to look a little more proper. And they were laughing at me, and I was like, “That’s not funny. Stop it.”

Allow yourself to sound. It amplifies pleasure. It also moves energy.

Well, for a lot of us, we may not realize that we carry it, but it was not that long ago that women were heavily persecuted for any sexual expression, right? It was not that long ago. It was literally just like our great-grandmother’s generation. If that was just in our great-grandmother’s, it was passed down to our grandmother, that mindset, that internal feeling of a lack of safety, just being a woman. We now know, I think about the little girl in my belly right now because I’m 28 weeks pregnant. 

I’m so happy for you. 

Thank you. I think at 20 weeks, she developed her eggs. We’re born with all the eggs that we’re going to have, right? Thinking about 20 weeks pregnant, my daughter and my belly have all the eggs, which means really my grandchildren are in my belly as well, and so when my mother was in my grandmother’s belly, I was in my grandmother’s belly. We think about all the trauma that my grandmother carried because my grandmother experienced heavy assault, and she was carrying it from her grandmother, that feeling of, well, if I have any sexual expression, or if people see me as a sexual being, it’s not safe. We’ve carried it down, even if it wasn’t our mother’s or grandmother’s words to us. We have carried that energy just by being in their bodies. Our bodies remember it. A lot of us forget that that is just heavily imprinted, that fear of being brave, that fear of being seen as a woman who is sensual, or who has a very powerful sensuality.

Because even though we carry it, there is still so much judgment, even from other women, women who are afraid to be fully expressed in their speech. Their sexuality or their full expression, or feel like you’re maybe prettier or braver, they will convince themselves that you are less than, so they can feel worthy or not feel less than.

Like I said, “Hurt people hurt,” and if they didn’t heal their trauma,  that will come at you. 

Did you have that? Did you have women judging you or putting you down? 

Oh, absolutely. 

How did you handle it, and what was your process?

A lot of women have experienced a lot of betrayal, in that they’ve been cheated on, or they caught their partner watching porn, or whatever it is where their partner had a leaky sexual energy. If they see you with a sexual expression, it’s easy to project onto you that it’s your fault that men stumble sexually. It’s important that we’re in touch with our sexual energy. When I say a woman who is very embodied in her sensuality, I don’t mean a woman who is going and inflicting pain on other women through her sexual energy. I mean, I truly mean a woman who is integral with her sexual energy. 

When I say empowered sexually, it doesn’t necessarily mean promiscuous, you know, like able to just sleep with whoever, maybe, if that’s what that means for you, but for me, it means that I feel that I am able to deeply connect with my partner in that sacred union. For a lot of women, when they see that though a woman who embodies her sexual energy, it feels dangerous for her because, and it goes back to that imprint of what we’ve carried from our bloodline, because we’re in 2025, right now, it was just in the late 60s that women needed their husband’s approval to have a bank account a little over 50 years ago. 

Again, our great-grandparents, some of us, our grandparents, could not even have a bank account without a man’s permission. We have this imprint that we need men for survival, and if we need men for survival, other women are our competition, because they can take that survival from us by either taking our man or getting that man before we get him, whatever the thought is. We carry this like wounding against women that they are possibly our competition, but this underlying jealousy of a risk for our survival, in a way, also, if we have experienced sexual trauma, and there is a woman that’s Sexually expressed, it could also, for some of us, feel like she is perpetuating that culture. 

We’re still coming out of this view that like because for me, that I think I feel deeply, that the more we heal our sexuality, and the more we express from this higher energy of it, and the more we’re in union with our beloved and not leaking that sexual energy, the less of all of that other stuff goes on in the world, the betrayal, the sexual trauma, even the sex trafficking, the porn usage, all of it. But if you’re not yet able to experience that, then it’s easy to blend the two and think that anyone who is sexually expressed is contributing to the problem, instead of actually healing the problem. For some of us, that is the case. 

The judgment from women, what I have tried to remember is that it’s actually one. It’s not personal. It’s something that they feel about themselves, because we see the world as we are. It’s a projection, yes. I try to, first of all, not take it personally, because that can be really self-harming, but also remember not to just turn the judgment back on them, but to actually have compassion. I also experienced, I was also there, you know, I have also other women. Maybe it wasn’t for their sexuality, maybe it was for something else. 

We are all judging other people based on our own wounds. It goes into that bravery of if you’re not going to do something or you’re not going to heal something, you’re not going to express something because you’re afraid someone else is going to judge you. Then, ultimately, if we were all doing that, think about what type of world we would live in. It is an act of bravery. It is a choice of bravery. But I do think that when we do it in integrity, it’s ultimately more healing than it is a lot of judgment.

I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Let’s talk about sex magic. How are we creating magic through sex? How can we manifest with sex? I heard that term people talked about a little bit. I still don’t get how it works, or what the practice of doing that is. Like, how do you know? Like a practical thing one can do to manifest or call some sex magic. And what is sex magic to you? How did you use it in your life? And you don’t have to answer all those questions that I just said in a row, but whatever your thoughts on the topics will be great.

This is another area of our sexuality that we really want to come into with integrity. Our sexual energy is our life force. It’s the most potent energy that we have when it comes to, and I don’t love the word manifestation, but what I like to use is alignment. 

Oh, it’s a good word. Your manifestation is essentially aligning with your desires, resonating at the same frequency as your desires, so they will manifest in the matrix, in the grade, in the quantum field, and then they just show up in the physical. The word ‘alignment’ is the right word. I love that. Thank you.

Yeah, because also manifestation almost sounds like we’re trying to control our reality, whereas we all create it. 

Even if we’re doing sex magic, we’re trying to control our reality because we’re trying to get into alignment so we can control our reality.

Well, that could be the case. I know for me, whenever I’m doing the practice, I always state my desire, and I say this or something better, just show me how good it can get. Well, I don’t want to limit it if I’m a man, I really just desire partnership. I desire my husband, and I want my mountain of a man who’s going to provide and protect and be the masculine pillar in the home. I’m stating my desire, which is there because God put that desire within me. My desire is also God’s desire. But if I’m being very, very rigid about how it’s to happen, when it’s to happen, what he looks like, all of the things that I am really limiting, what may be able to come into my life. 

My desire is also God’s desire.

I state my desire. Maybe, if it’s not a partner, it’s like, “Oh, I just really desire financial freedom. It’s not a certain amount in my bank account.” I just desire financial freedom so that I can provide for my children, stress-free. I know God wants that for me, but I always say, “Just show me how good it can get in this area of my life.” That’s it. You know what that looks like? I don’t want to limit what can happen in my life. But what is happening for me when I do this practice is that I’m manifesting this specific thing. I have this many women signed up for my program, or I have this many downloads to my podcast. I want to impact those who can be impacted by my work. Show me how good it can get in this area.

So the first step, don’t be attached and hand it out to God, the universe, whatever you believe in, this or better, or what was the sentence, this, or much better.

“This or something better” is what I used to say. Now I say, just show me how good it can get in this area of my life, whether it’s my parenting, my partnership, my impact in the world, and then I surrender, because I trust that whatever that is is much better than I can even ask for or even imagine for me, in the actual practice, I’ll state that, and then the sex magic itself is because our sexual energy is so potent, it really is an attracting, magnifying energy. So like, if we’re holding that desire while we’re doing our pleasure practice. We are upgrading our reality. 

We’re really upgrading, up leveling the energy that we’re holding towards that desire, and in that, we’re going to be able to attract it even more. What also happens for me in the practice is that I do come into more alignment with it, because often what ends up happening is I feel whatever the blockage is that’s keeping me from it, or I feel more worthy of whatever the desire is, because I’m flooding my nervous system with pleasure. Or there’s that voice of doubt that it’s too late for me. Or I don’t have a big enough platform, or whatever it is. Then what ends up happening is that because I connect to my pleasure, which connects me to my truth, I actually hear whatever it is that is like my inner queen’s knowing, instead of that voice of doubt. 

Then I come into more alignment with that and living from that place instead of, “Oh, I’m 38 years old,” I’m 40 now. But I remember this at 38 years old, feeling like I don’t know if I’m ever gonna have that family unit with my person and have the child with the person who treats me well and that I love with my entire being, having all these like it’s too late, feelings of doubt, and then when I connect to my pleasure, it’s just this knowing that it’s meant to be so it will be. Really coming into trust. When you come into more trust, and you come into that feeling of deeper truth, you’re coming into more alignment with that desire. 

But the sex magic itself is basically yours. Holding that intention, a surrendered version of the intention, and you’re running it through your five senses. What would this look like? What would it taste like? What would it smell like? What would it feel like? What would it sound like? Through that, you’re allowing your nervous system to feel what it would actually feel like in reality, which is also telling your nervous system it’s safe to have it, because a lot of times what you have in life is what your nervous system feels you can have so if your nervous system doesn’t feel that it’s safe because of past trauma, you’re not going to allow yourself to have it. 

You may bring in a partner, but then, because your nervous system doesn’t feel it’s safe, you sabotage it, create too much conflict, or whatever it’s. Whenever you run it through your five senses, your nervous system starts to feel like, “Oh, it’s safe to have this. I can feel this. I can experience this.” And then through that. After you do that, running it through your five senses, you incorporate pleasure, because the sexual energy is our most potent energy. You bring it into pleasure while you’re holding that reality in your five senses, and that pleasure amplifies what you’re attracting. 

That’s basically sex magic. This has gotten into the hands of people who don’t have the highest intentions in the past, and I think that’s why it’s been so heavily suppressed, because this was something that priestesses used to do in the temples. Rightfully so, it was heavily suppressed, and then also for other reasons of control and religious dogma and things like that. We always want to hold it with the utmost respect and knowing that it’s sacred, and not going into it feeling like a grabby little princess of like, “I’m going to do this, I’m going to get whatever I want.” We have to remember it’s a very sacred practice, and hold it with reverence and use it with integrity. Practice it with integrity. 

Thank you. That’s amazing. Thank you for that beautiful explanation. What are your three top tips for living a stellar life?

I think the first one, it sounds maybe cliche or too simple, but I truly think dancing every day, even to just one song, especially in the morning, because how you start your day is often going to affect the rest of your day. If you can start your day with gratitude and movement, just dancing to one song that makes you feel good and releases those feel good chemicals, that’s going to not only create a more stellar day, but it’s teaching you that even if you’re heartbroken, you woke up in heartbreak, or even if you’re financially stressed, whatever it is, you can still dance, and that’s really powerful. 

I think dancing, I think treating your body as a temple, not only when it comes to all the things that we talked about today, when it comes to consent and pleasure, but also what we’re putting into our bodies, how we’re caring for our bodies. Because if our bodies don’t feel good, then our life isn’t going to feel good. I think treating our bodies as a temple is really key, and living a stellar life. Third, I think, is community. 

There’s, of course, our partnership in our family, like within our home, but also community, whether it means getting involved in our community and playing a very important role in helping our community flourish, or having a community where you feel. I got this, no matter what happens, I know I’m going to be okay because I have a really strong community. I feel that way all the time. I feel like no matter what happens, I will be okay because I have my community, and I know that they’ve got me, and with that, it removed so much fear, and it took a lot of healing of those wounds in community to really be able to trust that. 

But yeah, I think those three things, yeah, if it’s daily dance, doesn’t take long treating our bodies as a temple and community like really for a lot of people, I’ve had a lot of friends, a lot of people on Instagram ask like, Well, how do I develop community? There’s a lot of us feel that that’s actually something that we lack, but it’s the same thing of what we talked about before, is like really aligning yourself to what you want to call into your life, and then really putting yourself out there and showing up and being what you want to attract like, attracts like, right? So yeah, I think those three things, I feel like, would create a stellar life.

Thank you so much. And where can people find you?

On Instagram. I’m @thejadebryce, and my podcast is called Untamed and Unashamed. It’s very similar to yours, in that I have on people like Alison Armstrong, but also people like Kim Anami. It’s like, all over the place. I have on Paul Selig, who’s like a channel, it’s quite all over the place, but it’s all about basically living our most optimized, highest life. 

Thank you so much. I really enjoyed our conversation and getting to know you. And thank you for everything you do in the world. It’s amazing.

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me

Yes. Thank you, listeners. Remember to dance every day. Treat your body as a temple. Have a strong community, your calling is in a strong community, and have a stellar life. This is Orion till next time.