A Personal Note From Orion

Dear stellar listeners,

Have you ever wondered what it takes to completely transform your life, especially after experiencing deep trauma? Today’s episode with Michael Anthony Unbroken isn’t just another inspiring story – it’s a masterclass in turning pain into unstoppable purpose.

As someone who has navigated my healing journey from childhood trauma, I felt an immediate connection to Michael’s raw honesty and profound wisdom. His story of transforming from a 350-pound, suicidal executive to becoming a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, and transformational coach is more than inspiring – it’s a blueprint for possibility.

Michael shares the exact moment that changed everything – lying in bed eating chocolate cake while watching CrossFit games – and how his powerful mantra “No excuses, just results” emerged from hitting rock bottom. But what makes this conversation truly special is how he breaks down the practical steps of healing, from addressing stored trauma in our bodies to creating frameworks for sustainable change.

Whether you’re dealing with past wounds, feeling stuck in patterns that don’t serve you, or simply ready to step into your full potential, this conversation offers the inspiration and practical tools to move forward.

Join us for an hour that could change how you view healing, growth, and what’s truly possible in your life. Michael’s approach to transformation isn’t just theory – it’s battle-tested wisdom from someone who’s walked through the fire and now lights the way for others. So, without further ado, let’s dive into the show!

In This Episode

• [01:42] – Orion welcomes Michael Anthony Unbroken. Michael recounts how his childhood experiences shaped a unique path to his success.
• [07:14] – Orion identifies a common thread of suffering and authenticity in those who endure trauma. Michael delves into the limiting beliefs formed in childhood that can cripple adulthood.
• [12:16] – Michael unveils the crucial first step in his healing journey, showing how physical health and honesty in therapy began to reshape his life.
• [17:40] – Michael shares his financial struggles amidst his healing journey, emphasizing the sacrifices required for true growth.
• [21:02] – The ACEs Survey revelations provide staggering statistics about the impact of childhood trauma. Michael explains how understanding these metrics informed his healing process.
• [26:36] – Orion’s insights align with Michael’s story, highlighting the universal need for transformation through discomfort and challenge.
• [28:36] – A deep dive into Michael’s unique coaching approach, where understanding client histories enables a focused path toward behavioral change and personal breakthroughs.
• [34:38] – Michael candidly addresses the myth of completely healing from trauma. His realistic view offers hope and tools for ongoing management and self-awareness.
• [37:45] – Explore how setting and aligning with your core values is foundational to self-love, guiding consistent growth and transformation.
• [46:33] – Michael’s future vision unfolds, with plans to empower thousands of coaches to magnify his impact.
• [50:26] – Michael offers top tips for living a stellar life.

Jump to Links and Resources

Hi, Michael. Welcome to the Stellar Life podcast.

Thank you, my friend. I’m excited to be here with you.

Before we begin, I know you have a very intense story about what brought you to where you are today. Maybe you can share that with us.

Here’s what I always say: My story is mine, and I hope that whenever I share it, people will understand not to compare because it’s kind of crazy. So, I’ll give you the truncated version, and we go as deep as you want. I grew up in the Midwest of America in the 80s. My mother was a drug addict and alcoholic. In fact, she actually cut off my right index finger when I was just four years old.

Oh, my goodness.

You can imagine the chaos. My stepfather was super abusive. This guy was a giant man who had beaten up a little kid—a real coward of a human being. We spent a lot of our childhood deeply in poverty and even homeless. In fact, I lived with over 30 different families between the time I was 8 to 12. We were getting bounced around from place to place to place. At 12 years old, my grandmother adopted me, which, in a lot of ways was this amazing salvation.

But I’m biracial, so I’m black and white. My grandmother was an old racist lady from a town in Tennessee you never heard of. It’s just like chaos after chaos after chaos. And so, I did what any 12-year-old would do. I discovered drugs. By the time I was 13, I was getting high and drunk every single day. I got kicked out of high school three different times. I was fighting, I was getting put in handcuffs, I was running the streets, breaking into houses, and stealing cars.

Your past is a complete indicator and predictor of your future unless you learn how to regulate your nervous system. Share on X

It’s just the craziest thing you could imagine because that felt normal. When I was 18, I finally got kicked out of high school one more time. As I was working this warehouse job where I was just putting microchips for a computer onto motherboards all day long, 12 hours a day, it was like the worst job you could imagine, and I got fired. I got kicked out of school again. I’m sitting in my car, and I’m trying to figure out, like, “What is the solution for this homelessness, this poverty, for this abuse?” 

And the conclusion that I came to was money. I thought, “If I make a bunch of money, it’ll solve all these problems.” Because of course, who doesn’t ever think more money will solve your problems? As you know, unfortunately, money does not solve your problems, as I have discovered. Here I am at 18 years old, chasing money. I end up working for a Fortune 10 company, one of the biggest companies in all of America. I started making 200 grand a year. It’s crazy. 

But, I find myself at 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking myself to sleep, and suicidal. This thing about money didn’t create or give me the life I expected. What it did was it brought out the worst parts of me, which you always hear people say. But until you experience it, it’s not real. At 26 years old, I basically had a rock bottom. I had a midlife crisis. One morning, I woke up—keep in mind I was 350 pounds at the time—and I was laying in bed eating chocolate cake, watching the CrossFit Games, and I was like, “Oh my God, this is my light. What the hell?” 

For whatever reason, I pulled myself out of bed that day and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, and just kind of went to war with myself. There’s a conversation that I think a lot of people have about this idea of being kind to yourself. Which I think is unbelievably important. In fact, I teach it to my clients constantly. But in the moments when your life is a disaster, you gotta kick yourself in the ass and really force yourself into behavioral changes. And so that’s what I did. 

I looked at myself in the mirror and realized I had been breaking all the promises I had made to myself as a child. Because when I was a kid, I said, “When I’m a grownup, this is not going to be my life.” And in so many ways, it just was. This question just kind of popped into my head, “What are you willing to do to have the life you want?” The answer was, “No excuses, just results.” 

I don’t know where that came from—God, spirit, mother nature, Batman—I have no idea. All I know is this idea of no excuses came into my head. That was almost 14 years ago. Since then, it’s been not only a journey of figuring out who I am, which I’m still on that journey constantly, but it’s also led down the path of being a best-selling author, an award-winning speaker, a number one coach nominee, millions of people have listened to my podcast, and so on. But ultimately, it’s all about one thing: Can I go in the direction of living life by design instead of living life by default? That’s how I got here today.

Wow. I have so many questions and so many directions to go with this. I have a five-year-old, and just hearing what you’ve been through at age four is heart-wrenching and terrible. That said, I had a pretty traumatic childhood myself and I’ve been through a lot myself. I can relate. You seem very genuine, and I think this type of authenticity comes from going through a lot of suffering. When you think about your childhood, everything you’ve been through, all that pain, what kind of beliefs did you develop about yourself, life, and the world?

I think the beliefs are not necessarily developed as much as they’re given to you. Because if you hear this rhetoric of, “You’re not good enough, you don’t matter, you’re not important, you’re always going to be a loser, you’re stupid, you’re dumb, this is why your mom’s a drug addict, this is why you never met your father, you don’t matter,” none of those were my original ideas. I don’t remember ever having that as an original idea until someone implanted it in me. 

If you can understand how you got to where you are, you will now have points of reference for behavior patterns that allow you to achieve your goals. Share on X

I think that’s true for so many children. I’ve had the benefit of interviewing some of the greatest minds in the world and they all kind of agree with what I’m about to say. I’m talking about people like Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Caroline Leaf, and Dr. Anna Lembke. The list goes on and on on The Think Unbroken Podcast. The thing that I came to the conclusion of is that childhood trauma isn’t necessarily the cuts and the burns and things of that nature. It’s really the theft of identity that scars us so deeply. 

My belief system was entirely built around formulations others gave me that said, “This is who you are.” I didn’t know those things weren’t true until I was late in my 20s. I constantly had this idea of not being important, that I don’t matter. Then, you insert all of these internal limitations you don’t recognize. How the hell do you make a million dollars and be $50,000 in debt? That’s what I was doing. How do you weigh 350 pounds after being a four-star athlete in high school? How do you get kicked out of high school when you’re in advanced English courses? 

These are the realities of those time frames. It has always been like this. I guess this is just how it is. It wasn’t until I made really cognizant decisions to challenge the narratives that I had. I recognized how crazy my life was. In fact, I was so codependent and such a people-pleasing person. People don’t believe this because they see me now and say, “You carry this certain intensity about you. You’re covered in tattoos, speak on stage, and do what you want.” 

I’m like, “Yes, but you didn’t see me when all I ever did was whatever it took to get people to like me because it made me feel safe.” This game that we played and that I played, which led me down the path of being here today, was this deep intrinsic work about self-discovery. When we have these limiting beliefs, we have these ideals and notions about who we are, and we play them out in reality. “I’m not good enough. Okay, great.” “How do I go fuck up my relationship?” “I don’t matter. I’m not going to live my dreams.” “I’m never going to be anyone of value. Okay, cool, let me go hurt people all the time.” 

If you are willing to awaken to the truth of belief systems that aren’t yours, you can create change in your life.

One day, you’re just sitting in your life and like, “Is this really my life right now?” Because we have that moment. For some people, that’s rock bottom. Maybe it was like the 300th rock bottom for some people like me. But on a long enough timeline, if you’re willing to bring your awareness to the truth of the belief systems that are not even yours, you get to create change in your life. 

I always tell my clients when working with them, “You got a dirty brain. We’re gonna brainwash you because you’ve already been brainwashed to believe this thing about who you’re not. Let’s create who you actually are.” That’s such a deep part of this work. I had a client the other day who was deeply into this conversation about self-worth and shame. We narrowed it down to the point where I was like, “Hey, the reality is this shame isn’t yours. You’re carrying this shame from your father and the impact he made on your life and childhood. You’ll never be you until you free yourself of that shame.” 

That’s the game that everyone is constantly playing. Whether you like it or not, everybody gets a little messed up by their parents. Some people, like me, got way more messed up. But at some point, you will have to decide who you want to be, not who they told you you’re supposed to be.

What was your healing path like? What methods or ideas did you think healed you the most? I understand that you had this deep moment of awareness and aha. And along the way, who supported you?

Initially, I just tried to do it by myself. I think that a lot of people have this notion of, like, “I can get myself through this.” That’s stupid. Because if you could, you would have. I realized that because I was really, really unhealthy in smoking cigarettes and drinking and food and partying and sex and all of these areas. I was like, “Okay, cool, I need to work on my body first.” So, I actually started doing yoga. This was almost 15 years ago, when, especially in the Midwest, in America, in Indiana, men were not doing yoga. That’s not a thing. I didn’t even tell my friends I was doing it.

By the way, you were in the yoga closet?

Yeah, literally. I was like, “No, no, no.” I would hide my yoga mat in my closet. They were DVDs. I wouldn’t do the DVDs until everybody left my house because I was so embarrassed by the idea of doing yoga. Now it’s like I’ve done it all over the world. It doesn’t matter. But in the beginning, it was that. And then it turned into, “Okay, what I need to do is stop lying to my therapist.” 

As I did that, I realized, “Actually, I need a better therapist.” It was like deeper into there. But these really interesting little moments would happen over time because I’m an entrepreneur. I’ve been an entrepreneur my whole life. I can’t work for people. I hate working for people. I’m definitely going to get fired if I work for you. There were these little moments where I would get on the Gary Vee show or end up in Seattle on CreativeLive with Chase Jarvis and Sal Cincotta. 

All these mentors who were 25 to 30 years older than me would just drop these nuggets on me, just these little things. It’s funny how business requires you to transform as an individual. So, the more I chase business, the more I transform as an individual. But even all of that still wasn’t working how I needed it to work for me to transform. It was one step forward, a million steps backward. I always tell people that the first four years of this journey from 26 to 30 were the hardest four years of my life because I had an awareness that I was chasing a different reality.

Yet, I continually fall back into these old behavioral patterns. At 29, I had a second midlife crisis, if you will. I basically sat down with all of my friends and my girlfriend at the time and said, “I’m closing down my business.” Believe it or not, I used to be an award-winning wedding photographer. “I’m going to close down my business. I’m going to finish my contracts. I found a childhood trauma therapist. I’m going to go and sit with this dude because I think he can help me.” He’s in Portland, Oregon. I don’t have a car because my car has been repossessed. I’m massively in debt. I have $500 to my name.

I don’t know a single person in Portland, Oregon, by the way. I get in a rental car on a Tuesday. This car has to be returned by Sunday because I do not have enough money for Monday. I don’t have enough money for hotels. And I say, “You know what? Let’s go.” So I get a rental car on Tuesday, I drive across the entire country with no place to live, while every time I’m at a rest stop or at a restaurant grabbing something to eat or filling up the car, I’m on Craigslist, hoping to find somewhere that I can sleep on Sunday night. 

I get to Portland at midnight on Sunday and must return this car on Monday. And on Tuesday, I’m in that therapist’s office because I knew there is a sense when I say no excuses, just results, that I mean it to the extent that people around you will think you’re crazy when you want to do something in your life. Because every single person in my friend group, my family, the people who worked for me, especially my girlfriend at the time, were like, “What the hell are you talking about? You’re going to Portland or to do what exactly?” I’m like, “I just trust that this is the right decision.”

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That healing journey from that point exponentially and compounding grew because I forced myself into the discomfort of not only sessions with this man who changed my life literally forever, by the way but also because I was going to men’s group therapy. I was going to Alcoholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, I was going to yoga sessions, I was going to sound bowl healing meditations. I was doing deep tissue work. My physical body, literally my whole life for three years, was dedicated to my life.

That’s amazing.

It was incredibly difficult, tedious, and expensive. In fact, in December 2015, I was broke because I’d spent all of my money on therapy sessions, bodywork and other things. I had closed my business and had no money because even for the contracts I had to complete, I’d fly back to Indiana, stay in a hotel or stay with my ex-girlfriend’s parents or my brothers or whatever. I wasn’t even making money because of the cost of getting there and back. I was still just broke. 

So I post on Facebook and like, “I need help. I have a therapy session this week. I can’t afford it. Will somebody let me borrow $150?” This is when people say, “That’s a phrase 10 years ago.” Could you imagine doing that? I teach my clients this: When you walk down this path, and you’re like, “I want to change my life,” and you understand the truth of no excuses, just results, it literally means that no matter what, you find a way. And even today, I’m still finding a way.

You have a 20-year shortened life expectancy as a childhood trauma survivor than someone who doesn’t.

So, for people on this journey, it is not easy. There are moments when you will question this, asking, “Why am I doing this? This is costing me friendships, relationships, money, time, and everything.” And then you come out the other side, like, “I would have done that times 10.”

That attitude reminds me of me because I’ve done crazy stuff like that. I decided to go to Japan with $700 in my pocket just because I found a book about it when I was, I don’t know, 20, and ended up spending three and a half years in Japan. I did the same thing after. I had a terrible relationship, abusive. I wanted to heal myself, and I spent my last money on a seminar where I actually ended up meeting my now husband.

Funny how that works, huh?

Yeah, he’s like, you burn all the boats and just go for it, because there is no other way. I have many times in my life in this situation where, “This is it, something’s got to change.” If I’m not going to take this step, I’m not going to challenge myself. Something big needs to shift because if I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing, I will keep getting the things I’m doing. 

It’s an Albert Einstein quote where he says—it’s not the exact quote—when an object goes in one direction, it will keep going in the same direction unless an outside interference comes and shifts it. I feel like every time you go to a seminar, do some somatic exercises, go to therapy, or do whatever you need, you shift and shift and build this new identity of yours, especially since I know that you share some statistics about kids, people that went through trauma. Maybe you can share some of those with us. 

The thing that always sticks out to me is the ACE Survey, which is the Adverse Childhood Experience Survey. That was the first work I came across where I was like, “Oh, there’s a reason I’m crazy.” I mean that genuinely. I’m very analytical, so I always needed some kind of rhyme and reason. What is the causation and correlation? I look at a lot of things using the scientific method. I had a hypothesis, but then the research proved it. 

I was like, “Oh, this isn’t theory. This is reality.” When I came across that research, I’ll never forget it because I was 30 years old and living in Portland. There’s a very early YouTube video, oddly, of Dr. Vincent J. Felitti talking about this work. I watched this video four times. The reason I cite this work all the time. The work, in my opinion, is outdated. I think a new survey needs to be done. I’m not going to do it, by the way. I’m way too busy. 

But one day, I want to be able to contribute to making another version. But here’s the reality. They asked 10 questions in this survey. I’ll paraphrase: But were you ever sexually assaulted or molested as a child? Did your parents get divorced? Did anyone in your household commit suicide? Did anyone in your household ever go to prison? And so on. Just go look up a survey. You can type in Think Unbroken; we have one on our website. 

Here’s what’s really fascinating. You’ll find that 83% of people answer yes to at least one of those questions, especially in 2025. You’re probably a child of divorce. We know that’s the reality of most Western cultures. What’s really interesting is that the further you answer yes to these questions, the higher the likelihood of these long-term detrimental health ramifications.

For example, they found that if you answered yes to four or more of this survey, you could be up to 5200% more likely to commit suicide versus someone who had none, 2000% more likely to smoke cigarettes, and 2200% more likely to be an alcoholic because of the impact of your trauma. This is why I always tell people that your past is a complete indicator and predictor of your future. 

In fact, one of the worst things that happens because of all the childhood trauma and the somatic experiences that we have and this idea that the body keeps the score to kind of reference Bessel van der Kolk’s work is that now your year life expectancy is shortened by 20. You have a 20-year shortened life expectancy as a childhood trauma survivor than someone who doesn’t.

All humans are analytical. We need input and output.

The reason why behind all of this, by the way, is these incredibly high levels of stress within the body, toxic stress, and complex PTSD lead down a path where you are probably gonna die early if you do not learn how to regulate your nervous system. That’s why I went so deep into yoga, meditation, sound, bowl healing, and bodywork. My psoas was so tight at one point I couldn’t stand up straight without being in tremendous pain. 

Think about this: chronic fatigue, anxiety, and depression. These things exist inside of our human physiology. Until you learn how to course correct your physical body through yoga, journaling, and meditation. I cannot tell you how anxious and depressed I was, how much physical pain I was in. I probably spent half a million dollars trying to get a solution to a problem that no one could give me an answer to in modern medicine. 

When I started going a holistic route, all of my symptoms went away. It was the chronic stress and the impact of trauma that had messed up my body so much. These stats are massively important because they give you indicators of the reality that you’re living in. Chronic fatigue syndrome only exists because there’s no root cause to it. They always say, “I have chronic fatigue syndrome.” I’m like, “I bet you had a really bad childhood. Let’s talk about it.” 

Because that’s what they diagnosed me with. They wanted to put me on these steroids and all these other medications. I was like, “Nope, I’m not doing it.” Because I know there’s a different answer now. I have none of those symptoms. That just only came because I healed my physical body and my mind. All the research in the world doesn’t help you if you don’t do something with it. So, I would encourage anybody to go to Think Unbroken, and search ACE score. 

You will find a lot of the work I’ve discussed regarding this and those questions. The reality is that work has changed my life. Above the therapy, coaching, books, and podcasts I listened to that one day when I found that video on an oddly snowy day in November, Portland, Oregon, changed my life.

It’s so interesting that you’re talking about this book, The Body Keeps the Score, because I have it here in my notes for reference. It’s no coincidence. I’m actually reading it right now, almost at the end. I found this book fascinating. He really describes all the trauma that his patients went through. I feel like reading this book can give you a secondary trauma. That was a hard read for me. 

At some point, I’m like, “Okay, skipping, skipping. Just give me the solution.” Because I’m a coach, I’m a hypnotherapist and always fascinated with how to heal and help. I studied a lot, and I keep studying, and you get different books at different times of your life. This was the “now” book. I loved it. But now that I’m at the end, I’m like, “Oh, finally, we’re talking about the solutions. I know all that. I just want the solution. What can help people?” 

So he’s talking about yoga, and he’s talking about EMDR; it’s not a family constellation. It’s like a family system. It’s working with the family system where you create a physical map of the trauma, but in the physical realm, where you have items in the room, and let’s say a couch can be the dad and a pillow can be the mom. And because you have this representation of the trauma in the physical realm, you can look at it, you can talk to it, you can talk to the people, and you can heal. 

There are so many modalities where you heal through talking to different parts of yourself because we all have those little splits, and it’s like the good voices in our heads and the bad voices in our heads. Do you do parts therapy in your type of helping people and coaching? What kind of modalities do you use with people? Do you use NLP? Do you use an EMDR? What do you do?

Well, it depends. Because so much of it requires awareness, a lot of people will come to me, and this is what they tell me. Because here’s the reality. I’ve coached over 2,000 paid clients. I’ve had over almost 3 million downloads on my podcast and over 10,000 books sold. There are some elements to this work that I actually know what I’m doing. The number one thing that people actually come to me with is that they sit from across from me and are like, “I’m stuck. But I don’t know why.” 

“I already know that. That’s why we built an entire curriculum to help you figure out who the hell you are.” And so, so much of the work starts with acknowledging the building of these processes of understanding how you got to where you are. If you can understand how you got to where you are now, you have points of reference for behavior patterns that allow you to get to where you want to go most. 

I think this is one of the biggest mistakes people make when approaching this healing journey, with the idea that if I change my behaviors, things will be different. But the problem is that we’re still analytical people, no matter how much you might be philosophical. All humans are analytical. We need input and output. As I’m guiding people through it, it’s a problem process of taking these deep reflective looks at who they are. 

My superpower is the ability to read people because it’s the thing that kept me safe as a child.

Now, a part of that is through a curriculum that I built. We have meditations, we have journals, we have online courses, and conferences and events. I’m not the end-all, be-all. So, I have tons of guest speakers. A big reason we do the podcast is self-discovery. So much of it for me is looking at this from the element of if we can help people place their finger on reasoning, then we can work backwards into the healing, which might mean a myriad of things. 

Sometimes, that’s okay. We need to journal about this, meditate, write letters to the people who have hurt us, and go into deeper work with a therapist. Now, keep in mind that I’m a coach, not a therapist. It’s not that they’re not closely related, but I’m more interested in behavioral shifts than completely embracing people’s emotions. Do I sit in their emotions with them? Yes. 

However, the goal is to move them out of their emotions and into behavioral changes. When you understand that A, you are not your emotions; B, you have a biological experience; and C, it’s what you do with your knowledge that changes your life, you can start creating momentum. The problem that pretty much everyone who comes to me has is that they hear my story. They go, “Dude, your childhood was so bad.” 

“I think that if I can work with you, my life will be better because I see the life that you have,” and I go, “Yeah, you think that till we get into this work and I help you uncover the darkness that’s created you.” And in doing so, they go, “I didn’t even know that was buried down there.” I don’t show people what I believe I’m going to find in them because I know that it’s there and they need the discovery process for it to come to the surface.

But I just had a client; I won’t go into the details. They had an incredibly traumatic experience happen to them as a child that got swept under the rug, and they were told never to talk about that through our time together because I created this container about truth. When we have the safety to sit across from another human being. I’m not here to judge people, by the way, because I understand what it’s like to not only go through incredibly horrible things but also to do incredibly horrible things. 

We create this container. He comes to me, and this thing bubbles to the surface. I say, “Yeah, I knew that the day we met, we would have this conversation.” Because of the safety we create now, we can explore that and help him realize he’s actually here. That’s what happens when people have these kinds of moments, and I’m sure you relate to this as a coach, too. They go, “Oh my God, I’m such a victim. I can’t believe this happened to me.” 

Then, they sit in victimhood for a second, and you go, “Actually, you’re a survivor, and you need to acknowledge that and let go of victimhood. Victims don’t join coaching programs. I promise you this. During that whole work journey, are there elements of hypnotherapy, NLP, ABC, and EMDR, as well as all the acronyms we can think of?” “Yeah, for sure.” Ultimately, this is what I would say. I probably do better than most people just because of the nature. 

My superpower is the ability to read people because it’s the thing that kept me safe as a child. I can sit across from almost anyone in the world and read you like a book. My job isn’t to read my clients, even though I am. I don’t tell them what I’m reading. I just say, “Hey, let’s flip the next page and see what’s there.” When we do that, the self-discovery process happens. Now, we can create frameworks and parameters for the next steps. Here’s what’s interesting: it’s different for everybody.

Whether you’re in a group coaching program or a one-on-one coaching program with me, the process always looks very much the same. It’s like I’m going to let you narrate your own book. I’m just going to write a synopsis at the end about what I think you’re having as an experience. Then, together, we’re going to create a path to success, to move through this moment. That’s a very extrapolated understanding of what we do. It’s way more nuanced than that. But hopefully, that gives you an idea.

Yes. Do you feel like you healed your childhood traumas, or do you still get triggered, or do things come up for you?

“New levels, new devils.” – T.D. Jakes

Yeah, I’m human. I’m going to get pissed off today. Probably this idea that it goes away forever. I just don’t believe it. It’s too ingrained and embedded in you. There’s a lot of power in the acceptance that you will be 75 years old and get triggered. The little will you be screaming, and then you still have to remind yourself that you are no longer a child. The snake oil salesman of this industry, which pissed me off. The people who sit here and say, “I’ll heal your child forever,” they’re liars. I’m sorry. I hate to break it.

Who said that?

You’ll just see it all over the Internet and people’s ads on messaging. People reach out to me on my podcast like, “I can heal your trauma in 10 minutes.” No, you can’t. A big part of this that I always try to reconcile within myself is that this is a forever journey. The deeper you get into love, the deeper you get into relationships, the deeper you get into parenthood, the deeper you get into being a community leader, the deeper you get into business—I didn’t say this. I wish I did. This is not my saying. I want to steal it. But he already said it, so I can’t. Bishop T.D. Jakes has this amazing talk that he does, and he says this: “New levels, new devils.”

I love that.

I see that hold so true in my personal life, business life, and public life. I know throughout all this work that the next trigger is coming. I teach my clients this simple phrase all the time: “Life is going to life.” The next thing is coming. No matter what you do, what you think, or the work you think you’ve done, it’s coming. You’ve done a ton of work. You still get triggered. 

No, I am perfect, actually. I healed everything. I’m just amazing.

Life is going to life.

I love that. Also avoidant; no problem. It’s like you look at that and say, “The reality is.” I’ll sit across from my clients, check-in, especially in my group sessions, and say, “Hey, I’m in a bad mood today, but that’s okay. Let’s go.” I’m not Superman.

You are very upfront about who you are and where you are at any given moment, which is refreshing.

Why not? A, people see through bullshit and B, I can’t help people feel normal if they don’t see me being normal.

Yeah, that’s a big one. You said, “Let’s get deeper into love.” How do we love ourselves? I love the concept of self-love and acceptance. How do we create more love and safety for ourselves?

There’s a lot to that, and it begins with having a value system. There are so many people. I’ll be on stages, whether a hundred or five hundred or ten thousand people. I’ll say, “Raise your hand if you know your values deeply. Inherently know your values.” 5% of them will raise their hand. Then, I’ll be like, “Okay, cool. Tell me your values without using the words fun, family, or freedom.” Then, it goes down because everybody defaults to those.

Then, the next thing you know, it’s like 1% of the people in the room. A value system gives you pillars on which to build a life. I’ll give you an example. My values are courage, love, strength, and honor. That is how I see myself in the world. So, everything I build in my life requires alignment with those values. Alignment is super, super important to me, especially this year.

A value system gives you pillars on which to build a life.

Why ‘especially this year?’

Well, I think I was stretched too thin last year. There were so many engagements and opportunities, and I said yes to so much stuff that I exhausted myself. I don’t want to do that this year. It was fun, but I was also like, “Wait a second, let me get refocused.” When you have these value systems in place, frameworks create life. This is why I said you can build life by design or live life by default. 

People always ask me, “How do I love myself?” I’m like, “There’s a systematic approach to loving yourself because the reality is that you’re not going to love yourself every day.” We’ve been lied to believe that we are our own Disney fairy tale: “I will love myself every day.” It’s not like you don’t have love for yourself. But you’re not going to be in love with yourself every day. You’re going to have hard days, and that’s fine. You’re going to be pissed off at yourself. 

That’s fine. You’re human. But if you really want to go to the depths of creating who you are at the deepest level, it requires you to consistently do incredibly difficult things. That’s it. Because the people who love themselves the most—and you see this out in the world—are the people who chase the life that they know they’re capable of having. You show me a depressed person who hates their life; I’ll show you a person who has no ambition. I can set my watch to it. 

The reason is that we, as individuals, must push towards goals. Now, it has different levels, especially between men and women, depending on whether you’re a parent. There are different levels based on what season of life you’re in. But something has to drive you forward because nobody has more loathing for themselves than the person who isn’t doing what they said they would. Would you agree or not?

Yeah, well, there are some other things like murder.

Build life by design or live life by default.

This is general, right? Going into all this would take us hours, but I’ll give you an example. I was 27, and I probably was 300 pounds at this point. This gym is next to a McDonald’s, right next to a bar. It’s on 79th Street, off the exit in Indianapolis. Somehow, I find myself in the car, smoking a cigarette, going into the bar to grab a couple of drinks, hitting the McDonald’s, going back to my car, looking at the gym and saying tomorrow. 

That is not a person who loves themselves. The person who loves themselves is the person, which I finally did, who says, “I’m going to the gym today, despite the discomfort. I’m going to therapy today, despite the discomfort. I’m quitting my job today, despite the discomfort. I’m going to Japan today, despite the discomfort.” The person who loves themselves the most deeply is the person who is willing to be in discomfort and pursue the life that they know they’re capable of having.

When you’re in discomfort, what do you do? You did the thing, made the move, and now you’re in discomfort. What are some tools to help shield the discomfort?

You don’t. You sit in it because that’s where you stretch and grow. It’s the same as if you’re in the gym, and you tear muscle, they grow. The art of kintsugi—must be broken and mended with gold to be whole again. You have to be stretched. We avoid discomfort, especially if you’re in the Western states. People are like, “Oh, you have anxiety,” which also is basically discomfort. They go, “Take a pill. Let’s put you on some meds.” 

Newsweek did a research article about this a couple of years ago. The placebo effect versus the psychological pill effect is almost the same. There’s almost no real intrinsic value to taking medication. There’s a 60% chance that it doesn’t actually work versus a sugar pill. We’ve been lied to in this ideal where it’s like, the thing that we need to do is go and blanket ourselves from the pain and the suffering and the discomfort. You can’t. That’s what you’ve been doing your whole life.

Childhood trauma isn't just about cuts, burns, and similar injuries. It's truly the theft of identity that leaves such deep scars on us. Share on X

You spent your whole life avoiding the discomfort of the realities of sitting in the pain, of the suffering, and the awareness. But the growth comes through that. When you’re in discomfort, you say, “I really don’t like this now.” The question becomes, “Well, why don’t I like it?” I don’t like it because it requires me to become a different person. I don’t like it because it’s actually not in alignment with the person I’m trying to become.

Big questions. I love those questions.

That’s where people get lost. They’re like, “I don’t feel comfortable right now.” It’s like, “Good. But why the questioning?” The awareness is everything in this game. Know thyself, like, at the crux of all this. I know there might even be people listening, “This is not even connecting. There’s so much here.” It comes down to knowing thyself. In order to know thyself, thyself must do hard.

With all the seminars you get, and you walk on hot coals and jump from a telephone pole, and you break an arrow with your neck, and you break boards and walk on glass and all those things that I’ve done, I did the Tough Mudder, I feel like every time I did something that seems impossible or hard, it was hard at the moment. But eventually, looking back, it shaped who I am. 

I also know that our environment really affects us. 

So, if I put you in a very harsh environment now, you’d be the way you are today with all the tools you have. But the environment is hard—the external environment is super hard. How would you handle it?

It depends because you’re asking me a question about where today I would just leave.

You can’t leave. You’re there.

Okay, cool. Well, then, the idea that I’m always sitting in. How do you become solution-oriented? What do I want out of the environment? Where am I going? What am I doing? What is the goal? Where do I need to go? What do I need to do? Who do I need to talk to? How do I need to show up? What kind of protection do I need? Do I need food, water, shelter? Are we talking about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? Am I trying to build a business? Am I trying to help people? Are people trying to kill me? Am I being hunted? 

There are so many questions. You asked me a very big question. The thing about this is every environment is actually hard. I can’t even rationalize that. My brain does not connect the dots there. And I go, “That sounds hard, but you’re in it.” You have to navigate it and do your best. That’s the thing that I think that is the answer. Ultimately, you have to do your best in this environment. I don’t know what’s in front of me.

I like what you said about how I can be the solution. It goes back to know thyself. Is it a Maslow’s hierarchy? Is this a physical danger? Is it imaginary? How can I be the solution? I love that. That’s amazing. Very well done. What’s your next step? Where do you want to be in a year or two years?

Nobody has more loathing for themselves than someone who isn’t doing what they said they would.

I’m working on a couple of big projects right now. So, one of the things that over the last almost decade, I’ve coached thousands and thousands of people. We’ve created so much content on trauma and mental health. About a year ago, I realized, “Wait a second, I need to empower other people who are like me to go and be of service because I need a thousand people doing what I’m doing, helping create, shift and transform the world.” 

So, I launched a new company called Mission Driven Coaches. My goal and objective is to teach coaches how to be profitable with purpose. Most coaches break my heart because they don’t know how to build a business. I know that on the backside, clients who don’t invest in themselves will never undergo transformation. You and I have walked on that same fire. I didn’t get there without paying money. 

Lots of money for lots of fire. It’s so much money on my self-development.

Lots of money, lots of fires, lots of screaming, lots of like I’ve done those things right and my clients have done them with me, and I want to help other coaches do the same because I figured out by exponential properties, if I help a thousand people, help a thousand people. They help a thousand people on a long enough timeline, and I make myself obsolete. I want to make myself obsolete. 

It may not be like in my literal lifetime because there’s so much pain in the world, but on a long enough timeline because of these exponential properties, I believe that I can end generational trauma forever. But I can’t do that only through Think Unbroken. I have to help you and that coach and teach them how to do this. It feels so near and dear to my heart because you get it right.

What are you teaching them? Sales marketing? What is it?

Mindset and all of this sales marketing mission—how to find clients, how to be a guest on a podcast, how to have a personal brand, and how to coach. Most coaches don’t know how to coach. They talk to people, and I’m like, “That’s not how you do this.” I’ve been an entrepreneur for 15 years. I’ve done over $10 million in sales. I know a thing or two about business and I just want to help people. I believe this in my heart probably more than anything that if we can create, the government isn’t going to solve our problems.

Of course, the government is going to solve our problems. And also the big pharma.

Yeah, institutions, schools, and coaches aren’t going to solve the problems. Entrepreneurs and coaches will, however, do so communally. Think about this: Every community has had a wise man for thousands of years. People would come to them, wait in line for hours, and offer chickens, fruit, or whatever to get advice from this person.

Just now, I had about a hundred people offering me chicken and grapes before we started the podcast.

You must be doing it right. If you think about it, that’s what it was. And today, it’s money. There’s no reason that your message, your journey, and the things you’ve been able to overcome can’t be given to other people. You don’t have to be broke in the process. That’s the thing that kills me the most. I spent the first three years in my coaching business asking, “What the hell am I actually doing here? How do I make this business work?” A wedding photographer, by the way, is not in the same business as a coach. I had to go, and I had to learn. I had to build and all that. I just want to help people. That’s my goal.

Awesome. What are your three top tips for living a stellar life?

There are no excuses, just results. Ask for help. Don’t quit.

Nice. And where can people find you?

I’m everywhere. @michaelunbroken and, of course, The Think Unbroken Podcast.

Amazing. It was a pleasure getting to know you a little better, and I enjoyed our conversation today. Thank you for sharing who you are, your big mission, and everything you do in the world.

I appreciate you. Thanks.

Thank you, and thank you, listeners. Remember, there are no excuses, just results. Ask for help and never give up. This is Orion till next time.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓} Challenge limiting beliefs through self-discovery. Recognize and break free from old behavioral patterns that no longer serve you.

{✓} Adopt a “No Excuses, Just Results” mindset, making unconventional choices in pursuit of healing.

{✓} Strengthen your mental health through body-based practices like yoga and meditation, and address stored trauma through holistic approaches.

{✓} Build a strong support system. Seek professional help through therapy, coaching, or support groups—healing isn’t meant to be done alone.

{✓} Establish your core values. Use them to guide decision-making and build a life aligned with your purpose.

{✓} Embrace productive discomfort. Instead of avoiding tough emotions, sit with them and explore their deeper meaning.

{✓} Practice solution-oriented thinking. Shift your mindset from limitations to possibilities. Ask yourself, “What outcome do I want from this?”

{✓} Accept that self-love isn’t a contact feeling but a practice. Keep promises to yourself, especially small daily commitments. 

{✓} View personal development as a crucial life investment. Dedicate time, energy, and resources to your growth. Remember, you can’t help others if you don’t help yourself first.

{✓} Access transformational resources from Michael Anthony Unbroken by visiting thinkunbroken.com.

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About Michael Anthony Unbroken

Michael Anthony Unbroken is an award-winning motivational and inspirational keynote speaker, best-selling author, and #1 podcast host. He helps business owners, executives, and entrepreneurs overcome self-doubt and develop a mindset to think unbroken.