Attracting Dream Relationships and a Dream Life with Samantha Pilbeam

A Personal Note from Orion

There’s a lot of sorting and figuring things out when it comes to relationships and dating, and it’s not just with your partner – most of the figuring things out part has to do with ourselves. What do we want? What makes us happy, and fulfilled. The reality is, that once we are connected with the best version of ourselves that we can be, is when we begin to thrive and allow good things – and people – to come into our lives.

If you want a love that is spectacular, that is fulfilling, passionate, and whatever else you may have on your ‘dream relationship’ wish list – you need to first feel spectacular, fulfilled, and passionate yourself. Once you’re on that higher spiritual frequency, is when you can tune into a deeper energy and attract someone that is on the same wave-length as you are. Don’t settle for anything less!

In this Episode

[05:11] – Samantha shares a bit about herself, including where she lives and a broad overview of her relationship with her partner.
[05:50] – We learn about Samantha’s history of being attracted to men who weren’t right for her, or drawn into dysfunctional relationships.
[06:16] – Samantha’s first role models were her parents, who had a dysfunctional relationship. She describes their differences.
[07:03] – The type of men who Samantha attracted (and was attracted to) were very similar to her father.
[07:44] – Are women going to the wrong places to find love? Samantha indirectly answers that via her own life story.
[08:27] – Samantha describes her previous life at the time that she started to realize she needed to make a change, around ten years ago.
[09:31] – What was the void, and what was the catalyst for change?
[10:24] – The moment that made Samantha realized she really needed a change was when her then-partner punched her in the face. Orion and Samantha discuss how sometimes it takes painful moments to make you realize you need change, and they can be a gift in disguise.
[12:14] – At the time, Samantha’s friends and family provided a support group for her.
[13:35] – Samantha reflects on her previous relationships, pointing out that what she then thought was “love” wasn’t really love, and that low self-esteem contributed to her decisions.
[16:02] – We hear more about Samantha’s life before she learned how to love herself.
[17:10] – If you come from a lineage of being treated unkindly, it’s up to you to stand up and change that tradition, Orion explains.
[17:39] – Samantha agrees with Orion’s explanation, then applies the same concept to the relation with money. She explores the difference between having a lot of money and experiencing abundance.
[18:46] – Samantha opened a beauty business during the middle of the recession, and discovered breathwork and rebirthing around that same time.
[19:35] – She describes the experience of doing rebirthing, and how much it can vary from time to time. She also tells us a bit about the self-discoveries that she made this way.
[21:10] – Samantha discusses how often she did breathwork, and the three different modules in which she did it.
[21:57] – Breathwork isn’t just motivational; it involves a lot of work, dealing with a lot of pain. Samantha noticed that after doing breathwork, she started to love herself more.
[23:13] – We hear about how Samantha used breathwork and meditation to help overcome her issues surrounding money. Darius Barazandeh helped her with this.
[24:23] – Samantha tells us about the men who started showing up in her life after she started doing breathwork and changing herself.
[25:39] – True masculinity doesn’t need to take stereotypically masculine forms. For Samantha, true masculinity is a man who treats a woman like a goddess.
[26:34] – The man who Samantha is currently with is exactly what she wrote down when she did her manifesting. We also hear about her previous relationship.
[27:42] – Several years earlier, Samantha had taken a Law of Attraction course by Tony Robbins (but in her case, led by Joseph McClendon). She stopped for a while after being freaked out by how quickly she started attracting things into her life.
[30:10] – At the time, she explains, she wasn’t ready to receive the life she wanted. Part of her wanted to stay in “suffering mode” because that was the life she was used to.
[31:14] – When Samantha next used the Law of Attraction, after having done the breathwork, she was ready to receive. She was also ready for the element of surrender that it required.
[32:08] – Orion steps in for a moment to explain what she means by “surrender.”
[32:55] – Samantha agrees with Orion’s description, and goes on to explain that her fear was also part of what led to her being in those unhealthy relationships.
[33:33] – How did Samantha find Mr. Right?
[35:30] – How did she start believing in the Law of Attraction in a way that allowed her to manifest the things she had written on her list?
[36:18] – Samantha took about 15 to 20 minutes every morning for her exercise in believing in the Law of Attraction.
[37:00] – By the end of the two weeks Samantha took to make herself believe in the Law of Attraction, she let go of the idea because she believed in it so fully that she just knew it would work. She set up a Meetup group several months later, and her partner Greg showed up at the first meeting.
[38:10] – Samantha tells us about how she and Greg started dating, and how she realized that he was “the one” for her.
[40:22] – What has Samantha done to keep the love alive (and the relationship healthy) after the initial sparks of the relationship wore off?
[41:54] – In a successful relationship, both parties take responsibility for their own happiness rather than trying to find it in their partner.
[43:48] – Samantha’s three tips for living a stellar life are: appreciate what you have and show gratitude, give yourself love, and give back to people and the world.
[44:20] – Samantha offers listeners a gift: her husband Greg is an NLP (neuro linguistic programming) trainer, and they’re offering two listeners a free NLP course early next year (January 4-10 in the Lake District in the UK). Flights and accommodation are not included, but the course is free. To enter, write Samantha a short email about why you think you should be picked and explaining your path and how this will help you (and how you will help the world). Send this to her at samanthapilbeam@nullme.com.

About Today’s Show

‏‏Hi and welcome to Stellar Life. I am your host, Orion. My guest today is a dear friend of mine, her name is Samantha Pilbeam. She is a business woman and entrepreneur who has created her dream life and partner through the law of attraction and personal development practices. She lives in the UK with her partner Greg who is a great guy. She practices daily meditation and yoga and is on a continued path of self-improvement. Sam is passionate about helping others and making the world a better place. This conversation was very interesting to me because it almost seemed like we had parallel paths where life was hard, relationships sucked and then we met somebody really, really important to us and we met our dream partner. It’s so interesting because we achieved that success, that life that we wanted through a lot of self-work. We both really believe that you really need to work on yourself first in order to attract the person that you want and the life that you want. I totally believe in vibration. Your vibration is to match that person that you want and your vibration needs to match the life that you want. If you are looking for a partner, don’t only ask yourself, “What do I want in a partner? I want him to be tall and handsome and successful and good to me and kind to me and loving and giving,” and the list goes on and on and on. That’s really good to know, that’s good for clarity. It’s important that you will have a clear vision and you signal the universe what you really, really want. But more than that, you also wanna ask yourself, “Who do I need to be? Who do I need to become to attract that person? Who do I need to become to attract that life?” Because if your container is not big enough to hold that type of person or that type of life, then you will not go there.Sometimes if you are in a lower vibration and your partner is in a higher vibration, your dream partner, then you’re gonna cross each other like two ships in the night and you will not recognize each other. Abraham Hicks talks about the law of attraction and vibration. What Esther/Abraham Hicks explains is that it’s like radio frequencies. Your dream partner, dream life, everything that you want is always around you. But just like dialing into the right radio station, you’ll have to dial into the right vibrations. You wanna elevate yourself, you wanna maybe be less angry, maybe go and work on past traumas, work on some negative beliefs that do not serve you. You wanna do all this work in order to attract the person that you want into your life, whether it’s a person you want to attract or a dream job, dream endeavour, it always comes down to being it. A lot of the time, we look for answers at all the wrong places, we look for answers outside of ourselves. The true answer is deep, deep inside of us. Sometimes, we have to be quiet and listen. Listen to our bodies, listen to our hearts, and follow in the direction that our hearts lead us. Also, we shouldn’t be afraid of doing the work because that work will pay off. Working on yourself, investing in yourself, from my own personal experience, always pays off. Now, onto the show. Hello Sam and welcome to the show.

‏‏Hi Orion. Thanks for having me.

‏‏No, thank you so much. I am looking forward to this conversation because I know it’s gonna be very juicy and great.

‏‏Absolutely. I love talking about things like this. I’m looking forward to it too.

‏‏Let’s start by you sharing a little bit about yourself.

‏‏Okay. Well, I live in Worcestershire, a county in the UK, very close to Shakespeare’s towns, Stratford. I live with my partner Greg. We work together and live together, we are both on a path of misplaced self-discovery, self-improvement. That’s a little bit about me.

‏‏Lovely. We’re gonna talk about how to use the law of attraction to attract your dream men and dream life. You’ve done it for yourself but it wasn’t always like that.

‏‏That is correct. I spent years being attracted to and attracting men that were just not right for me. I was attracted to these men and I suppose dysfunctional relationships and I spent years trying to change them which I realize that it didn’t work. It took a lot of my energy.

‏‏Who were your role models when you were younger?

‏‏Obviously, my parents. They were my first sort of role models of a relationship. Their relationship, it definitely was not a conscious relationship. They were doing the best with the skills they had at the time, I guess. Their relationship was dysfunctional. My mother was very loving, divine feminine, always put her children and husband for herself like she didn’t matter. My father was extreme yang, very sort of not present. I suppose in the 70s, a lot of men were like that. The patriarchal type of relationship that was quite common at that time.

‏‏Did you attract the same type of men that were unavailable?

‏‏Yes, I did. I was always very attracted to men that were masculine, the yang energy and men that had drinking problems.

‏‏Really? Did you find that drinking problems?

‏‏Yes.

‏‏Really? Wow. So classy.

‏‏Yeah, in that case. I attracted those types of men, I suppose it was my energy at that time as well. That’s what I was into. I was, I suppose, going out, drinking a lot. I was going out to places, nightclubs and bars when I was younger. I guess that’s where you meet those types of people.

‏‏Yeah, I find that a lot of single women are just going out to all the wrong places to find love.

‏‏Yeah, exactly. When you’re younger, you do that anyway. But then as I was getting older and getting more into my spiritual development and getting away from wanting to go out to those type of places, I guess I’m still having that lifestyle but wanting a change and realizing actually, this isn’t what I want. Then I’m trying to change this man and get them into the same stuff I was into.

‏‏What was life for you back then?

‏‏I was working in sales jobs, in office jobs. I was doing the job that could earn me money but I wasn’t really happy and I wasn’t working in a job that was my passion. The lifestyle was very much, you know, work hard play hard. There was going out a lot and then because I wasn’t happy, I’d be going out spending money in the day buying things, not being conscious around my money or my relationships really. The relationships weren’t conscious. I knew deep down I want this to change. This is about ten years ago, I was living in London in a job I didn’t like, I wasn’t happy and ended up my relationship. I decided to leave and go back to my hometown and set up a business in beauty which is what I was interested in and passionate about.

‏‏Back then, what kept you up at night and what was the void and what was the catalyst for change?

‏‏I knew I wanted true love and I knew I wanted a relationship where there was love, kindness and generosity, all that. But actually, I was searching for that but not really giving that to myself. Instead of thinking what’s wrong with me, I did think that because I wasn’t even attracted to men that were kind and nice to me. I thought, “Right, there’s something wrong with me.” I suppose it was just getting to a point where some of the relationships were with men who got aggressive and I just thought, “This isn’t it. This isn’t making me happy.” I got to the end of my tether in London.

‏‏Did you have a moment, like a specific moment where you’re like, “This is it. No more. I’m gonna create a change in my life.”

‏‏Yeah, it was when I was in a relationship where I got punched in the face. That was a big change.

‏‏I’ve been through an abusive relationship myself, I ended up in a hospital. For me, it was my greatest gift because that put me on that path of self-development and it actually allowed me to find myself because I was lost as well and it allowed me to find myself, to find my strength, to know who I am through contrast, to understand what I really want in my life. Through the depth of despair that I was into, I learned to connect to other women on that deeper level.

‏‏I totally agree. Sometimes awful things that happen to you are actually a big wake up call to make you realize what am I doing in my life?

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‏‏It’s so interesting because you’re relatively successful and you’re independent and you’re beautiful, yet you get into this relationship that is so horrendous. You go through the process of like, “What’s wrong with me?” And then there is guilt and shame and pain. I think our life changes and those moments of decisions where we say to ourselves, “This is enough.” We live for a higher standard. This is enough, no more, I am going to change my world and then there is a bright future. That’s our awakening, energy awakening, feeding that spark that is inside of us that allows us to conquer through the obstacle. Did you have any support group at that time? Anybody who helped you, gave you a shoulder to lean on?

‏‏I did have. I did have friends who were very supportive and my family. When they found out, they were just saying, “Leave London. Come back and we’ll support you on this.”

‏‏Sometimes creating the physical distance is so important because when you’re in love with the wrong person, life can get you. It’s like blindfolds, you can’t see it, they come back with flowers and say, “I’m sorry.” And you’re like, “Oh, maybe I can change him, maybe I can still find the good in him. I’m gonna make him better,” because you’re in love. I think a lot of times with abusers, there is this sexual magnitude, the sexual connection, and that’s one of the hardest bonds to break because when you grew up, this is the way you learn love is. When somebody treats me really badly, that means he really loves me. It’s twisted in a way but that’s like that six year old or eight year old or teenager. We get those messages and then it shows up later in life. But you were brave enough to break them all and you had a nice support system and then you moved on.

‏‏Yeah, absolutely. I think looking back at all those dysfunctional relationships, whenever I thought I was in love, it wasn’t real love. I didn’t give myself enough love to realize that they were incapable of love, it wasn’t a love relationship because anything that involves abuse is farthest away from love that I can imagine. Really, I think it was a low self-esteem thing and maybe at that time I was attracted to those men which I thought were edgy. Also maybe thinking that was really what I deserved. I was just thinking, “Look, I need to get out with this pattern of attracting these type of men.” I really had this urge to be attracted to kind, gentle, loving men. I thought I’m gonna have to change myself. That was the catalyst. I left London, went back to my hometown, Leamington. I decided to set up a beauty business on my own, that was what I was passionate in.

‏‏It’s so metaphorical. In a life full of chaos, you are actually looking for beauty and helping others to see the beauty in themselves. It’s a bit profound, won’t you think? All about finding beauty because there is always something inside of us that is looking for beauty even in the most difficult situations. If we focus on the beauty and we go to where the beauty in life and the things that are good, then we can change. Because for me at that time, I had to look for the beauty in myself. The things that I did was mirror work. Looking in the mirror and trying to tell myself, “I love you.” And see the beauty in myself and believe you and me. It was very difficult at first. I was crying every time I did that. I couldn’t do it more than five seconds and burst into tears. Eventually, I did it enough times to actually breathe and start accepting myself and loving myself just a tiny bit more every day that was passing by.

‏‏Yeah. I can really relate to that because there was a time when I clearly didn’t love myself. I didn’t love myself enough to care for my body enough, not to smoke, drink, do drugs, getting to these dysfunctional relationships. I remember someone saying, “You know, you need to love yourself.” And I thought, “What do you mean?” For me, to not even understand what they are saying, it was really a big sign.

‏‏Love myself. What a concept.

‏‏Exactly. Also, I remember my mother. When she was younger, she’s still beautiful, she used to look like a film star, she used to have such beauty on the outside but get treated badly. She used to think, “Oh, if I make myself beautiful, then I’ll get treated well.” It never worked. Really, that made me realize it’s not just about your beauty on the outside. Really, it’s about the beauty on the inside and how you feel about yourself, how you put your boundaries in place which was another thing. I didn’t have boundaries growing up.

‏‏Sometimes, it is in our lineage. It is in our DNA. If we come from a dynasty of women that were treated unkindly, it is embedded in our DNA and it’s up to us to stand up and break that lineage. When we stand up, we provide different, better lives to our daughters and sons and everybody, all the future generations.

‏‏Absolutely.

‏‏Energetically as well.

‏‏Yeah, I absolutely believe in that. When you heal yourself, you heal those around you and your lineage. I believe that certainly I picked up this from my parents. Although we have money around us, we had this sort of poverty consciousness in the house. There was a lot of anger and fear around money.

‏‏Isn’t it interesting that people have more money than the rest of planet still feel poor and still there is lack of abundance?

‏‏Yeah, absolutely. I’ve come to realize that actually, you can have a lot of money but still not feel abundant and still not feel the joy of money. For me now, being abundant is having an abundant life. Having people I love around me, having experiences. Obviously, sometimes you do need to have money to have those experiences. It’s not about the size of your bank balance.

You can have a lot of money but still not feel abundant and still not feel the joy of money. Being abundant is having an abundant life.

‏‏You moved away, you made the change and you opened a beauty business.

‏‏Yes, that’s right. I love doing beauty and I love the whole Industry. When I do something that I love and then it won’t be like work. I set the beauty business up and it was right in the middle of the recession, probably the worst time to setup a business but I did it. Also, at that time, I discovered breathwork which is also called rebirthing.

‏‏It’s so interesting. I did a workshop in Israel and I rented a space at a rebirthing center. It was really beautiful, white pillows everywhere. But I’ve never done rebirthing myself, my sister did it and for her it was a profound breakthrough.

‏‏Yeah, it’s amazing. I came across that.

‏‏What is it like?

‏‏Each time you do a session, it’s different. Sometimes, you can have incredible breakthroughs. I’ve been doing it for the last ten years. I actually went through my birth experience which was amazing and really, really interesting. They can relate to your birth experience, not in all cases but in most cases, your birth experience is your first experience of life. That can affect you. My birth experience had pethidine which is a form of heroine, I was drugged up. It was very difficult. I had this unconsciousness pattern after that. I was attracted to and getting myself drunk until I passed out, until I became unconscious. When I discovered breathwork, I really understood, “Oh, that’s why I had this urge to do that.”

‏‏Wow, that’s fascinating. I really wanna do it actually.

‏‏It’s amazing.

‏‏Because my mom went through a lot of trauma when she was pregnant with me. It’s very interesting.

‏‏Yeah, you will find out a lot about certain things in your life from breathwork. But it really, really helped me. It helped with my confidence and self-esteem and it literally helped to change my life. Through the breathwork, I have to become more awake, more conscious and also love myself more and it changed my beliefs about men.

‏‏How often were you doing this breathwork?

‏‏I would say probably two to three times a month. Over the ten years as well, I did part one, two and three. Part one was a five day module, intensive module. You’re doing breathwork every day and you’re doing development work within a group. Part two was a few years later and that was seven days. Part three which was in September 2014 and that was nine days and that was even more intensive.

‏‏This is not kinda like a motivational seminar where you jump and everything is happy. It sounds like a really deep challenging work and dealing with a lot of pain.

‏‏Yes, absolutely. You definitely go deep. I’m not saying it was easy but there was some moments that were really difficult but it helped me tremendously. I would do it all over again if I needed to.

‏‏You did the breathwork.

‏‏What I noticed as I was doing the breathwork over the last ten years was, as I was doing the breathwork, becoming more conscious, I did start to love myself more. What happened was I stopped smoking because I just couldn’t bear to do it to myself anymore, I cut down on my drinking, now I hardly drink at all. Also in my business, when I first started the business, I had this real thing about money, I felt really uncomfortable even asking for money at the end of the treatments. At first when I started, I had clients who used to ask for discounts and couldn’t really afford the treatments.

‏‏Yes, exactly. The energies that you will attract, even people that will love money. When they’re in front of you and you are in this lower vibration, they will get it subconsciously and they will ask for the discount because they will feel like they can.

‏‏Yeah, exactly. That was really interesting. That’s how I grew in my self-esteem and confidence.

‏‏How did you get over that part?

‏‏Well, I just carried on doing the work on it. I did lots of things around money, sort of online money meditations and anything that I could do to help with my money issues.

‏‏Is there a specific meditation or hypnosis that you will recommend?

‏‏Well, it was around 2012 that I was doing Darius Barazandeh. If the listeners want to have the info, I can send it through because he still does free calls.

‏‏I’ll put it in the show notes.

‏‏Yeah, sure. I did all that. That was part of it. I just noticed that as I was doing all the stuff along with the breathwork and gaining self-confidence and being more comfortable about money, my clients got more and more affluent. As I was changing myself, everything changed around me and the same with changing my energy. I became soft and more loving. I started to be more attracted to men that were softer. That was really interesting for me.

‏‏Tell me more about the men that showed up in your life.

‏‏It was just really noticing certainly in the breathwork community, the men that were obviously looking to be kinder, just men that were softer, I just realize that was what I was attracting in my life. Men that were just out and about, generally, I just noticed there weren’t so many harsh men or harsh people around me. It was like I was just changing my whole environment.

‏‏I think there is a misconception that a man who treats you really nicely and he’s gentle and nice with you is not masculine or is more feminine. That can be true but it’s not always true. A lot of the time, masculinity is not what we think of the dude with the leather jacket on the motorcycle. That does not necessarily mean masculine or feminine. The exterior, yeah maybe, but I think that true masculinity is a masculine man that cherishes his woman and holds her and loves her and respects her. That, for me, is true masculinity.

‏‏Yeah, absolutely. I agree. As far as my upbringing, I suppose I was so brought up to believe that a man is only a man if he’s very yang, very masculine. But since I realize that actually, for me, real masculinity is treating a woman like a goddess and able to be soft but also masculine at the same time and for me, that’s the perfect man.

Real masculinity is treating a woman like a goddess and able to be soft but also masculine at the same time. That’s the perfect man. Click To Tweet

‏‏Yeah, it doesn’t have to contradict. There are men that look more masculine from the outside and are feminine from the inside, meaning like treating women like goddesses, or guys that look a little softer from the outside yet they have a strong masculine presence and they are the go getters and they work more with their left brain and they treat their lady right.

‏‏Yeah, absolutely. That is the man I’m with at the moment. He’s exactly what I wrote down when I did my manifesting. That all coincided with me, changing myself. At that time, I’ve been in another wrong relationship. The reason why I got into that relationship, it only lasted about five months. I’d lost my job because while I was doing the beauty, I was working at the job part time, just while I was building the business up. Basically, I realized the universe steered me in that direction. I lost my job and I was feeling quite down. My energy was low. I attracted this relationship and I realized now that him running off with an 18 year old was another blessing because it made me think, “Oh my God. This is it. I’m not doing this again.”

‏‏Dating is a sorting process and it’s also a self-discovery process.

‏‏Yeah, absolutely. With the manifestation, the law of attraction course that I’ve done probably seven years earlier.

‏‏Tell me more about that.

‏‏It was a Tony Robbins’ course and it was law of attraction. It was actually with one of his colleagues, Joseph McClendon. It was a fantastic course, it was a really, really powerful way of putting the law of attraction on speed dial. There’s a process you have to go through which involves writing what you want down, being very specific. It’s about raising your energy, raising your vibration, jumping up on a trampoline, listen to uplifting music and then you read out your heart’s desire.

‏‏I think focus physiology and language around what you want to heighten your vibration.

‏‏That’s the one, yeah. When I did the course, it was before I’ve done all the breathwork and before I got to a point where I was attracting softer men and the life that I wanted. But basically, I did the course and I started to attract things into my life and it actually was so powerful. I was a little bit freaked out by it so I stopped.

‏‏I’m studying Kabbalah. One of the ideas there is that we are a vessel. There is the light and the light wants to give us everything that we want. The light is like a powerplant full of electricity. We are the vessel, we’re like let’s say an iPhone. If we plug the iPhone straight to the power plant without some filters and without having that machine big enough to receive the light, it will short circuit. We need to expand our own vessel and our own capacity to receive. When we expand our capacity to receive, we receive more light. I guess you were at the point where you expanded and just freaked you out. You’re like, how can you believe that everything that I want comes to me so quickly? For a moment, it was just a shock for your system. How can it be that everything that I want comes and manifests so fast? What if I lose all that? There is always that voice in our head that tries to keep us small the moment that we step out of our comfort zone.

‏‏Yeah, absolutely. I think I was just at that time, I wasn’t ready to receive the life that I really wanted. Maybe at that time, I didn’t have enough self-worth and maybe I wanted to stay in suffering mode because that felt familiar to me. That’s how I would just say in, that’s why I didn’t carry it on I guess. When I did all the breathwork and built up my confidence, self-esteem, changed my beliefs about men, then, the last bad relationship I had made me so determined that I thought, “Right, I’m gonna write everything down now. This is it. I’ve got nothing to lose.” I wrote down the life I wanted, I was very specific and wrote the type of men that I wanted and I literally manifested everything. It was amazing.

‏‏This time when you manifested, was it a shock to your system like before? Were you like, “Oh my God, everything is coming so fast. I have to go back and hide in the corner.”

‏‏No, because I’ve done the work myself alongside it. I was ready this time, I was really ready to receive and I was open.

‏‏What I heard from what you were saying is there was an element of surrender meaning like I have nothing to lose. It’s now or never.

‏‏Yeah, because I was absolutely fed up with the way my life was going and I just thought this isn’t how I want my life to be. I’ve got to the point where I was like, “Yes, I’m totally ready now for my life to be just as I want it.” I was saying to the universe, “I’m done with making these mistakes over and over again.” I think it’s when you get to that point of I suppose a bit of desperation with things, I kicked myself up the ass, I guess.

‏‏It’s a type of actually allowing. When I say surrender, it’s about surrendering those parts of you that don’t serve you anymore that you were so attached to. Surrendering attachments to the old identity. We cling on to our identity so strongly and when we hold that, we don’t have place in our arms to get something else. We can’t open our arms to receive because we are clinging to that old identity. When we get to that blessed point of allowing our self, it is the art of allowing our self to drop what does not service us anymore, then we can move on receive all the delight it wants to give us.

‏‏Yeah, I absolutely agree. I also think it was my fear that was stopping me from being in those love relationships because I was obviously scared of being hurt because I’ve been hurt before even though I detracted that and it was more after it then the work. I’m open to this now, I’m open to softness, gentleness and I was being kinder to myself.

‏‏How did you meet Mr. Right?

‏‏Well, I’ve done the law of attraction process. I’ve done it every single day. When I started it, I was in quite a low place vibration, I was really fed up. I wrote it down, I was very outlandish so I put down I want a job that I can do wherever I’m in the world, I wanna travel first class, I wanna have an amazing, conscious relationship. I wrote down specifics, he has green eyes and into the same stuff as I was into but also really good at business and finance.

‏‏Did you write down dimples?

‏‏I didn’t but I love dimples. I wrote it all down and I was kind of laughing and crying thinking there’s no way I’m gonna meet someone that’s conscious but into finance and things like that. I was in total disbelief even though I put it down but I was like, “I’ve got nothing to lose.” Then at the end of the two weeks, I totally believed. I was absolutely certain. The main thing with law of attraction is your belief, if you’re certain and you’re vibrating on the same level as it, then you will attract it into your life.”

The main thing with law of attraction is your belief, if you’re certain and you’re vibrating on the same level as it, then you will attract it into your life.

‏‏It’s like radio waves. The radio stations are always playing. It’s about tuning into the right frequency to find the right station or to find the right vibration of the other person because if you’re not in the right vibration as the man of your dreams, if you don’t step up and say, “Who do I need to be?” Yes, you wanna write everything that he’s got but who do I need to be to vibrate in that frequency to attract that type of man or woman ,then you can cross paths like two ships in the night and you will not even recognize each other. There might be a spark for even a month or two and then you’re gonna go on different directions. You wrote it down and you were in disbelief. What did you do in those two weeks to get into believing and vibrating on a higher frequency?

‏‏I did the process, which if anyone wants to learn it, I would definitely suggest going through the course. In a nutshell, you put some uplifting music on, you jump up and down on your mini trampoline, you get into a heightened state and then you look at your vision board. Your vision board is a board that you put all the things that you want to attract in your life on there and then you read out your heart’s desire, what you want. You visualize it and you do it every single day. By the end of the two weeks, it was almost like I’d already got it. It tricks my brain into, because the brain can’t discern between reality and what you’re visualizing.

‏‏How long did you take every morning?

‏‏Probably the process is about 15 to 20 minutes.

‏‏Actually, it’s not about the length of the process, it’s about the intensity of the process. It’s not about going there and be like, “Okay I have to jump on my trampoline and then I have to look at my vision board.” It’s not about that, it’s about the emotional intensity and commitment that you put into those few minutes. It can be five minutes, but if they’re deep and strong enough, they will give you the same effect. It can be an hour of intensity, the more intensity, emotional intensity and focus you bring into the process, the more effective it’s going to be.

‏‏I agree. I really wanted it and I was really excited about it. By the end of the two weeks, I knew that I’ve done enough because I totally believed and then I just let it go. Then I thought, right, I believe it’s gonna happen. I didn’t know when and I just let it go. Three months later, I set up a meetup group because my breathwork trainer, I said I wanted a conscious relationship and she said, “Why don’t you set up a group?” I set up a group creating conscious relationships and Greg, my partner came to the first one and that was it. I felt wow, that was pretty amazing. Within three months, I’d attracted the relationship I wanted and he had everything on the list. Now we work together, we travel all over the world and we can work wherever we are as well. Everything I put down the list, I managed to manifest them alive.

‏‏That’s amazing. Tell me a little bit about how you started dating and how did you know he was the one for you?

‏‏Well, I was actually introduced to him by his brother, I knew his brother through the breathwork courses. Basically, he was just probably different to anyone I’ve never been out with before and it was just a feeling, we just clicked immediately in every single way. I fell in love with him very quickly and it was just a really healing relationship as well as an amazing one.

‏‏When we get to the right relationship, it’s a process of healing the other person for sure. There are three things in life that will make you grow, one of them is your relationship and the other two is business and then your kids. I haven’t had kids yet but I can say yes, the other two definitely help you grow.

‏‏Yeah, I agree. It’s also a relationship of ease. It just flows. Going back to what you were saying earlier about you having to step up, I absolutely have to do that because I’ve written down all these qualities but he’s obviously gonna want someone who’s got all the qualities he’s looking for. We’re both on a continued journey of self-improvement, self-development and it’s working really well. We’re both really happy and all of the things are going well.

‏‏That’s amazing. I know in every relationship there is the first part where everything is just fireworks and all those hormones are flying in the air and then we actually discover each other and fall into true love and that takes work. In every relationship, it doesn’t matter how great it is and how beautiful it looks on Facebook and Instagram. Everybody has conflicts, everybody disagrees sometimes and sometimes, yes, relationships can get slightly boring compared to where they were when they started. What do you do to ignite the fire, resolve conflicts and just keep the love alive?

‏‏We’re both very respectful of each other. If there’s something we’re in disagreement with, we don’t swear at each other, we don’t really have arguments because we both take personal responsibility and we both realize that you’re the author of your own experience so we’re continuously working on ourselves. That’s how we overcome anything like that. We also have both positive outlook. We like to live the holiday of your lifetime. Instead of saying I’ll be happy when, we’re just happy anyway. We deal with things as they come up. No one’s life is smooth. Everyone has stuff they have to deal with and stress. But generally, if we have a day where we’re bickering because we’re stressed out or we’re tired, we realize that and then we laugh about it and make up later.

‏‏I love makeup.

‏‏Yeah, it’s good. It gives you contrast.

‏‏It gives me some spice. Sometimes I will spark an argument just so I can make up.

‏‏Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes you tease each other.

‏‏People come to relationship with the concept of, “He’s my other half,” or, “She’s my other half.” “He/she has got to make me happy.” No. You make yourself happy and the rest will take care of itself.

‏‏Yes, absolutely. We’re both on a similar path with regards to creating more love in the relationship, becoming more conscious, and taking responsibility for our own happiness.

‏‏That’s beautiful. I’m so happy, I’m so proud of you and I’m so happy for you. I know it’s been a really tough journey. Thank you for inspiring. I’m sure some people are listening right now, maybe they’re experiencing what you experienced. I want you all, listeners, to know that regardless of where you are, there is always the way up and there is always a way to change, you gotta keep the faith and you gotta work on yourselves. Nobody’s gonna do those push ups for you, you gotta take care of your body, you gotta take care of your soul, and you gotta do things that will connect you to self-love and appreciation and then life, I promise, will shift for you. Everyday do one thing that is good for you, just one. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Little by little, those things will accumulate and you will get better and feel better. Even if you’re good right now, there is always more, there is always a higher level to aspire to because you can be, do, have more. You can be more spiritual, you could have more love, you could more abundance, you can have more money. I know it sounds cliché that you can have whatever you want, maybe not everything that you want but a lot of what you want, you can have.

‏‏Yup, I totally agree.

‏‏What are your three tips to living a Stellar Life?

‏‏I would say just appreciate what you’ve got. Show gratitude and give yourself love, and give back to people, give back to the world.

Just appreciate what you’ve got. Show gratitude and give yourself love, and give back to people, give back to the world. Click To Tweet

‏‏That’s a big deal to give back.

‏‏Yes, absolutely. You get more satisfaction giving back and helping others.

‏‏Talking about giving back, I know that you blew my mind with the gift that you’re gonna give to the listeners because that’s a big, big, big one.

‏‏Yes. My partner is an NLP trainer and we’re doing the NLP practitioner course in January. January the 4th to the 10th and it’s in the beautiful Lake District in the UK. We’re giving two listeners a free course. They will have to get their own flights and accommodation but the course is absolutely free. It can be a couple or two single people, they don’t have to know each other. We’d love to have people who are committed to that person’s development and also making the world a better place.

‏‏That’s amazing. How do you select the winner and where can they go to opt-in for your offer?

‏‏If they could just send me a short email about why they think they should be picked, just explaining the path and how this will help them and how they feel that they can help the world to my email which is samanthapilbeam@nullme.com.

‏‏This is amazing. That’s like a $2,500 course right?

‏‏Yeah, it’s for two people only. However, we’ll give perhaps two weeks for the emails to come in from now. We’ll pick the winner in two weeks

‏‏This is amazing. That is amazing. Thank you for your generosity.

‏‏Oh, you’re welcome.

‏‏Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing from your heart. I’m sure you created some shift in somebody’s life who is listening to us right now. Thank you so, so much for coming on the show.

‏‏It’s a big pleasure. Thank you for inviting me.

‏‏Thank you and thank you listeners. Take everything that you learned today. Just take one principle, whether it’s a vision board, or doing something in the morning, or the idea of writing down what you want in a partner, or elevating your vibration, anything that you took from the show and just practice at least one thing for a whole week. Let me know how your life changed. Please comment and review and connect and let me know what you think, I would love to know if this was good for you. It was good for me. Until next time. This is Orion signing off.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

✓ Pain can be a catalyst for change. Write down three recent life events that have been painful (or issues that continue to cause you pain), and then, for each one, three ways that you can turn that pain into positive change.

✓ Every morning, look in the mirror and take five minutes to practice valuing yourself. Tell yourself “I love you,” and look for the beauty reflected in the mirror — focusing on both your internal and external beauty.

✓ We all want more money, but money doesn’t create a sense of abundance. Take ten minutes each day for a month to start a gratitude journal. Explore the forms of abundance that you do have in your life.

✓ Practice breath awareness at home. Lie down in a safe space, and begin by simply noticing your breaths. Then shift your breathing so it’s deep into your stomach. Allow any emotions that arise to simply exist, without judgment or expectations. Do this for up to 30 minutes.

✓ Write down the life you want. Be specific. This can be about your finances, travel goals, job desires, and the man or woman of your dreams. If you can wholeheartedly believe in the Law of Attraction, you may be surprised at how quickly you manifest exactly what you wrote down.

✓ Create a vision board. Using your knowledge of the specific things you want from life, create a board manifesting these in some form. Use your imagination — you can write down descriptions or quotes, tape on pictures, or add anything else that resonates with your desires.

✓ If you’re struggling with achieving full belief in the Law of Attraction, try what Samantha did. Put on music, jump up and down, and get into a heightened state. Look at your vision board, articulate your heart’s desire, close your eyes, and visualize it. Repeat this daily.

✓ Make a list of parts of yourself that don’t serve you anymore, or are part of your old identity, but that you’re still attached to. Write each one down on a separate slip of paper, then burn each in turn as a symbolic representation of surrendering those parts of yourself to clear the way for the life you want.

✓ In an ideal relationship, we’re helping each other heal and grow. If you have a partner right now, think about how you could be a healing force for him or her. Once you’ve come up with a few specific ideas, put them into action.

✓ If you don’t yet have a partner, think about it from the other side: you need to be what your ideal partner would want. Write down a description of who your ideal partner’s ideal partner would be. Begin making choices to grow into the person you’ve described.