Episode 121 | June 19, 2018

Naked Dating -Lisa Shield

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Mission #121

On Board: Naked Dating
Mission: Lisa Shield

Hey, are you single? If you are, you’re probably looking for the one, and I promise he or she is on the way! While you’re waiting, though, stop searching for someone who checks every box on your laundry list of the perfect partner’s traits. Instead of going around trying to find someone tall, handsome, funny, green-eyed, curly-haired, and rich, look for something much more important: the guardian of your soul.

The woman who came up with this beautiful piece of wisdom is my guest today, Lisa Shield. Lisa posted her first online profile 17 years ago, when online dating was still considered taboo. She went on a hundred first dates, one after another, over the course of the next two years. Finally, she met and married the love of her life. 16 years later, she still describes herself as one of the happiest women on the planet. Her success led her to become one of the first dating and relationship coaches in the nation. She’s a sought-after relationship expert who loves helping couples and singles use their emotional nakedness to attract and keep a life partner.

Connect With Lisa:

Lisa Shield
@LisaShield on Twitter
Lisa Shield on Facebook
Lisa Shield on LinkedIn
Lisa Shield on Yelp

The Mission Log:

  • [03:26] – Lisa talks a bit about herself and how she got to the point where she is today as a love coach.
  • [06:54] – We learn that Lisa’s first husband, who she was with for 13 years, was a pathological liar.
  • [08:14] – When Lisa started coaching, no one else was doing it and she had to do it on her own.
  • [08:34] – What does Lisa think has changed the most between the time she started coaching and now?
  • [10:38] – Lisa talks about whether people are commitment-phobic these days.
  • [12:32] – Orion shares the story of finding her own soulmate, and the total surrender involved in the process.
  • [15:23] – Lisa brings us into the world of a 40-year-old single lady in the big city, whose competition is the young girls, who hangs out with married friends with kids.
  • [20:02] – When you have such a fixed idea of what you think you need, you shut yourself off from possibilities that you haven’t even considered.
  • [23:41] – Lisa shares her thoughts on women who live more in their masculine energy.
  • [27:46] – What are some of Lisa’s top tips for dating?
  • [30:49] – When you meet your soulmate and really fall in love, you’ll never have enough time with him, Lisa explains.
  • [33:45] – Lisa’s work is called “emotionally naked dating,” she reveals, and talks about the process that she walks her clients through.
  • [35:15] – What are some ways of communication that don’t sound needy or desperate?
  • [37:40] – Lisa describes some destructive behaviors.
  • [41:48] – We hear about Lisa’s rules for sleeping with guys, including her theory that you need to share your head before you share your bed.
  • [44:40] – What is “good company” for a man? In her answer, Lisa emphasizes the importance of mirroring a man’s masculinity back to him.
  • [47:21] – Orion shares a tradition that she and her husband do every night before bed.
  • [49:08] – Lisa talks about how she brings the agreement of not taking anything personally into her relationship.
  • [53:35] – What are LIsa’s three top tips to living a stellar life? #1. Do not quit until you find your man. #2. Grow, grow, grow. #3. Gratitude. Be grateful.
  • [56:53] – Where can listeners find Lisa to learn more or work with her?

Links and Resources:

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

✓ Become the woman you need to be in order to find a partner you really want.

✓ Stop relying on fate and the belief that finding the right person happens on its own. Get yourself out there and start dating.

✓ Determine the difference between fantasy and reality.  Love isn’t only about romantic trips, expensive gifts and amazing sex. It also involves hard work and challenges.

✓ Find a person who can guard and nurture your soul rather than someone who can provide you with material possessions.

✓ Have a high standard of who you want to spend the rest of your life with but keep an open mind. We all have flaws and imperfections so don’t let one negative trait ruin your relationship.

✓ Keep growing and inspiring yourself and your partner. If you can’t fully love yourself, it’s difficult to give love to others.

✓ Take care of your physical, mental and emotional health as well as your appearance. First impressions are vital in finding a partner.

✓ Live a life full of gratitude. Develop positivity within so that it keeps exiting out of you.

✓ Don’t give up on love. We’ve all had our hearts broken in the past but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve love and happiness.

✓ Find a love coach. Seek help if you feel stuck in your dating life and close to giving up on love.

 

Transcript:

O: Hello and welcome to Stellar Life Podcast. To all my singles, it’s great to be single, it’s fun, and I know that you are looking for the one. He or she are on their way so keep the hope, keep the faith, it’s going to happen, it’s on its way, and please, all those cliches about all the good ones are gay or taken. Whatever is your belief system or believe that you’ve developed around finding the one, you probably got hurt in the past maybe you think, “This is my second or third chapter in life and I cannot find the one,” don’t worry, it is possible. One of my clients just gave me an amazing testimonial saying that she’s been waiting for a love like this for 50 years. She didn’t even know that this love can exist. Then she sent me a wedding invitation and she got married. It’s so beautiful to know that you can believe in love again. It is possible for you. Keep dreaming, keep aspiring, you probably are so close. Sometimes, we are so close to our destination, we just don’t even know it, and today is going to get you even closer. Today I’m interviewing the extraordinary Lisa Shield. Seventeen years ago, when no one would admit to dating online, she posted her first profile. Two years and a hundred first dates later, she met and married the love of her life. Her success led to her becoming one of the first dating and relationship coaches in the nation. She’s a sought-after relationship expert, she’s been featured on tons of TV shows, and she love helping couples and singles use their emotional nakedness to attract and keep a life partner. Now, without further ado, onto the show. Hey, Lisa. Welcome to Stellar Live Podcast.

L: Hi.

O: Thank you for being here.

L: Thank you, Orion for having me.

O: Before we dive in, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and how did you become a love coach, a dating coach, how did you get here?

L: First of all, I’m so excited to be here, and I know that you’re a love coach as well, so this is always exciting to get to talk to other love coaches because now it’s the thing we love talking about the most. I will say that 18 years ago now, it seems almost impossible to say that aloud, I was turning 40 and I woke up and realized everybody had said to me, live your life, be the most fabulous version of you, and the right man will just find you, and that did not happen.

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