Stellar Conversations: Tap Into Your Divine Feminine Energy with Orion Talmay

A Personal Note From Orion

I’m glad to be on Lauri’s Lemonade Stand podcast, where I had an amazing interview. It’s great to talk with an incredible woman who is passionate about bringing light into the world.

In this episode, I talk about tapping into your divine feminine energy to become a love magnet. I also share my life story, from living through the most abusive relationships and struggling with depression and loneliness to taking the first baby step through humor, then surrendering through deep self-care. These steps led me to the love of my life and a career I’m ridiculously passionate about.

I’m sure this conversation will help you learn to trust yourself and find the courage and confidence you need. And now, without further ado, on with the show!

In This Episode

[00:00] – In her interview on Lauri’s Lemonade Stand Podcast, Orion discusses becoming a love magnet by tapping into your divine feminine energy.
[01:13] – Lauri welcomes Orion to her show and introduces her as a love coach, international speaker, founder of the Orion’s Method, and host of the Stellar Life podcast.
[03:29] – Orion recalls a time when she had rotten lemon moments and turned them into sweet lemonade.
[10:11] – How did Orion change her outlook on romantic relationships and find a healthy relationship after her dark past?
[12:01] – Lauri wants to know how Orion discovered and embraced her feminine energy.
[21:15] – Orion reveals the secret steps to becoming a love magnet.
[31:10] – Lauri and Orion speak openly about masculine and divine feminine energy.
[35:24] – Orion explains how to be more feminine and sensual in a relationship.
[40:10] – What exactly is an alpha goddess?
[42:09] – Lauri elaborates on Orion’s definition of self-care and provides an example involving her husband, Eddie.
[48:39] – Orion can be found on her website, orionsmethod.com, and her podcast, Stellar Life, where she interviews experts on relationships, fitness and health, mindset, and spirituality.
[50:15] – Orion discusses her most significant accomplishment to date. She also shares a tip she uses with her husband to strengthen their relationship.
[52:17] – Lauri asks about Orion’s favorite non-guilty pleasure food, pet peeve, and current favorite quote.

Jump to Links and Resources

About Today’s Show

Orion Talmay is a love coach and an international speaker. She works with successful high achievers and helps them unleash their feminine power and become a magnet for conscious relationships and love. She is the founder of Orion’s Method and the host of the popular podcast, Stellar Life. She helps women increase their energy level, develop sexy confidence, ignite their passion and discover a sense of freedom, ease, and flow.

Orion’s Method is about combining physical, mental, sensual, and spiritual aspects to create an integrated transformation. The method dissolves blocks in the subconscious mind through NLP, hypnotic techniques, somatic techniques, advanced nutrition supplementation, and biohacks.

Orion is a world traveler who has studied under leading luminaries in personal development, health and wellness, spirituality, relationships, and sexuality. As a former personal trainer, she also holds multiple fitness certifications. Orion is a contributor to the intent.com blog and the Huffington Post.

How did I learn about Orion Talmay? Because we are both out there in the podcasting world and killing it, by the way, with our podcast, we had a mutual friend hook us up to see if we might make a good fit.

I’m anxious to learn more about becoming a love magnet, how to love ourselves more, and find out what exactly the definition of an alpha goddess is. Please warmly welcome Orion Talmay to the Lemonade Stand. Hi, Orion. How are you today?

I’m great, Lauri. Thank you for having me.

The journey to tapping into your divine femininity is never-ending. It's like opening a treasure chest with no end in sight; it all depends on how deep into the rabbit hole you are willing to go, experiment, dare, and explore. Click To Tweet

Oh, I’m so glad that you’re here. This is going to be so much fun. Because we like to bring people down to Earth here at Lauri’s Lemonade Stand so everyone knows that you’re a real person who has had struggles and has had to learn how to overcome them. Let’s talk about this time in your life that you would consider a sucking lemons moment and how you turn that around to make sweet lemonade.

I know that you had some rough times in your life, so just pick one or give us a summary so that we know that you’ve been through things and then let’s talk about what it took to make it into sweet lemonade.

Yeah. I would call it even rotten lemons moments.

This isn’t just bitter. This is rotten. All right. Give us the scoop.

About less than a decade ago, I met a guy that I fell in love with, and he turned out to be abusive and I ended up in a hospital. That was the darkest moment of my life because I was in the hospital by myself, and I was isolated. Predators, that’s what they do. They live in your head, isolate you, and brainwash you. I was alone in the hospital and when you’re alone in the hospital, you want the person you love the most to be with you but knowing that he’s the one that put you there, it’s even deeper and more painful.

As I said, I was brainwashed to think that I’m not good, I’m ugly, and I’m all kinds of things. I heard it over and over again, so much so that I believed it and I was alone. I was from Israel and my family is far away and I didn’t want to make them worried, so I didn’t tell them. I only told my sister a week later. I was like don’t tell mom. Eventually, my mom kind of knew about it.

Also, I was disconnected from my friends and my social life. I got completely alone and completely depressed. I remember walking down the street, I couldn’t look people in the eye, and I was just devastated. I went to a psychologist, and she said, “We have to put you on medication. You are clinically depressed. You are so depressed.”

I said thank you. I know it’s good for other people and it is. It’s good for some people, but for me, I knew that there is a light in me that I could hold on to, and like the phoenix, I can rise. I started doing simple things like watching funny YouTube videos just so I can laugh more and read more inspirational books, and then eventually going and studying from the best in the world and traveling.

I remember crying in yoga classes, releasing all the pain, meditating, and connecting to the spirit.

I traveled to over 37 countries. I studied with the greatest leaders and luminaries because I knew that I have the ability to rise, and I did work on my mind, body, and spirit. On the physical level, I took martial arts, I took mixed martial arts. I took Aikido because the idea was nobody is ever going to hurt me ever again so I’m going to get physically strong to protect myself.

I also took yoga, and I took dance. I remember crying in yoga classes just releasing all the pain and then meditating, connecting to spirit, and then learning all kinds of ways and all kinds of tools so I can become stronger, better, and more powerful.

I love that you started with something as simple as watching videos on YouTube that made you laugh. When you think about the chunk of what it’s going to take to heal and how big that is, and it just seems overwhelming sometimes where you see okay this is where I want to be, but this is where I am, and you just can’t see the steps from where you are in rotten lemons. You forget something. We’re talking rotten lemons, and you’re trying to get to this point where you have made this sweet lemonade.

I love that you talk about how you just started watching these funny videos on YouTube because when you’re depressed, you can’t see, you’ve got blinders on, and everything is dark. For you to even find that little bit of light and to click on YouTube to me is heroic.

I understand everything that you’ve done since then. I understand martial arts, yoga, traveling to over 37 countries, and learning from the best of the best how to be the best version of you, the strongest version of you. I really, really celebrate and honor the courage and the bravery it took to click on YouTube and watch these videos because that was the first step. That was what it took for you to start turning around. I’m sure there were a lot of baby steps after that.

Yeah, tons of baby steps.

But a courageous step, what a huge thing. You just go, oh yeah, I started watching these funny videos on YouTube, but that was huge. That was huge and I just want to celebrate that one moment because anybody that’s ever taken any kind of anything or you want to lose weight, you want to be a better friend, you want to be of more service in your community, all of these different things start with this tiny little step. It’s that one thing that gets you going. That is amazing. That is amazing for you. I honor you and I think that you are brave, just super brave.

We have a choice. We can look at okay, this person is there, and I want to be that person and get obsessed about their achievement or where they are emotionally, physically, and mentally, or we can take our focus and just focus on, like we said, one little step. What can I do right now? What is my capacity right now? What can I do, even the little thing right now so I can move forward?

Step by step, if every day you do just one little thing to get closer to where you want to be, eventually, a year from now, 10 years from now, you’re going to look back and you will be amazed because people overestimate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in 10 years.

I knew there was a light in me that I could hold on to, and like the phoenix, I could rise.

Exactly, I completely agree. How did you change your perspective and what were your expectations for a romantic relationship from where you were? Because here you are in this horrible relationship that left you in a dark place, physically, mentally, and spiritually, just everywhere dark. How do you find a healthy relationship after that?

What is even a definition of what a healthy relationship would look like after something so dark? If it were me, and I have been in that situation and I have not been, I think that I would be afraid to have another relationship. How did you change your mentality around that?

The change happened over time. The first step was to own my strength. I became very connected to masculine energy, where I got strong physically, I got tough emotionally, and I got very guarded because the question that ran through my life was how can I never get hurt? In every relationship I stepped into, that was the question that ran the relationship. You’re not going to hurt me and how can you prove to me that you’re not going to hurt me?

It was like a constant struggle. I couldn’t have a relationship for more than two or three months because I would emasculate the guy that I was with. I would try to prove that I’m independent. I would try to prove that they can never hurt me.

Even at the gym, I would lift weights with the boys. I did martial arts like the boys because nobody is ever going to hurt me again. Even though I had a feminine exterior, the energy that I was carrying with me was super masculine.

Only until the day where I learned about feminine energy and what it means and how can I love her and connect to her, and that there is power and vulnerability, that day that I learned to surrender not from a place of victimhood, but surrender to my highest power, to Divine Power, Universe, God, whatever you call it, and just pray. At that moment, I prayed.

Only on that day I was able to attract the love of my life and also learn a whole new world of sexy juiciness and lots of fun that is our connection to our feminine and what I call awakening our inner goddess. I believe that every woman, she’s got an inner goddess inside her just waiting to be awakened. When we allow her to awaken, she is limitless.

When God was knocking and divine guidance showed up, I burst out of the cocoon.

I love it. I absolutely love it. You learned along this path to truly trust yourself. I love, though, that it’s like you created armor for yourself first. You had physical armor. You had this armor protecting your heart and you just weren’t going to let anybody in.

How did you find the vulnerable you? How did you find the feminine side of you? What was the moment where you’re like, oh, I have this whole other side that I want and need to embrace? How did that happen?

I feel like that armor was the cocoon where I allowed myself to transform. Sometimes you need to be in that armor for a period of time so you can heal. Then when God was knocking and the divine guidance showed up, then yes I burst out of the cocoon. Let me tell you the moment.

I went to Date With Destiny by Tony Robbins and I went there to work on my business. I had a successful fitness business at the time, and I was like I just wanted to make more money. I’m going to go check it out. I went to the seminar and then there was the Relationship Day, and Tony talked about masculine and feminine energies. I never heard about this concept.

He demonstrated what is polarity in a relationship and what a relationship looks like when one person is of the masculine energy and one person is of the feminine because if I want to be with a smart, strong, successful man who is masculine in his core, I cannot show up 24/7 in my masculine energy because he’s not looking for another man in the relationship.

Your man wants to be your hero and he wants to know that he can hold you. If I just come and say, I can take care of my groceries, I can carry this, and I can do this. I’m independent, I don’t need you. I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, then his whole existence shrinks. If a woman is so much in her masculine energy, the polarity in their relationship will change and even a masculine man will drop more into his feminine energy. There’s a conflict because most women are feminine at their core, but they want a masculine man, but then they show up in their masculinity, and then it’s a problem.

If a woman is so much in her masculine energy, the polarity in her relationship will change, and even a masculine man will drop more into his feminine energy.

I learned about it that day and around 1 AM, the day was over. The days were really long. It was at Palm Deserts, and I was sitting at a waterfall outside a resort, beautiful desert skies, full of stars, and I was singing a song that I wrote when I was 16. I was praying to the stars, then I started laughing and crying, and it was a breakdown and a breakthrough.

I was like, okay, God. I can’t do it all alone. I need guidance. I’m surrendering. That was a very strong surrender because I hated the word surrender. I used to take yoga classes and my teachers were like surrender and I was like surrender? I hate this word.

This was almost like allowing myself to be held. Allowing the universe to hold me, protect me, and guide me. Then I wrote my relationship vision. I wrote exactly what I want in a partner, but most importantly, I wrote who do I need to become to attract the person that I want? Who do I need to become to attract the person that I want? It’s not about them. It’s about me. You want to know what happened next?

Yes, please. I’m all ears. I feel like I’m in the middle of a romance novel and I can’t wait to turn the next page, so yes, tell me.

Okay, then 48 hours later at 1 AM, when the event was over, a mutual friend introduced me to Stephan, and 24 hours later, we said I love you to each other. Nine days later, he proposed to me in a hot air balloon in Vegas.

Oh my gosh.

I said no.

There had to be a cliffhanger somewhere in there. Okay, all right. You said no.

Yes, and he was very disappointed because the guy promised him that he never had a failed proposal on a hot air balloon. We’re in a little basket in the sky and there’s nowhere to go. We’re both emotional and 20 heavy minutes descending down to earth, but then nine months later, he took me to the same resort, and I was completely gullible. I didn’t really understand what was going on and he proposed to me by the waterfall.

Oh my gosh. That was meant to be.

We all have our share of pain, darkness, and rotten lemon moments.

I just want to mention, with all the darkness that happened and everybody that is listening, they all had their share of pain, darkness, and rotten lemon moments or what do you call it?

Sucking Lemons. I like your version better. I like rotten lemons. I think that’s great.

Just lemons you don’t like.

Yes.

Not organic and rotten.

Exactly.

Looking back at it, it was my greatest gift. It’s almost like those moments are gifts with the bow on the bottom. You don’t really know that it’s a gift, you complain, and you kick, and you scream, and you’re like why? Why? But looking back, this was my greatest gift because now I do this amazing work in the world, and I can also relate to my clients in a different way.

I think that’s an amazing love story. I think it’s just wonderful and I can relate to it on so many levels. I am just twitterpated right now for you because it was just such a lovely, lovely story on how that switched around for you. I’ve had plenty of moments that even now, I can’t have regrets over them because I like who I am now.

When I think about going back to the future, going back in time, and changing some event to make it better at that time, I worry that if I change that event, I wouldn’t have made it to where I’m at now and I like where I’m at now.

I really love the concept of the bow being on the bottom. I think that that’s great, the bow being on the bottom. I had plenty of bottom bows moments in my life, but I love the gift.

We talk about this in a lot of my interviews and when I write, it is that sucking lemon moments are one of two things. They’re either choices that you have made, or they are choices that someone else made and you kind of are the recipient of that. You’ve either made the choice and sucked yourself in that or someone else made the choice and dragged you along with them.

People overestimate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in 10 years.

Sometimes people throw lemons at you and it’s really hard, it hurts, and it’s really bad, but sometimes you just choose your own sucking lemons moments and that turns out really bad.

For me, mostly they were things that I did. I chose these moments that I had, and I had to resolve them. I didn’t heal until after God brought me a good relationship and then it created this cocoon—my marriage actually became the cocoon—where I was able to have this freedom to figure out who I was and who I want to be when I grow up.

I really like the phoenix. I know the cocoon is a butterfly, but I really like the phoenix. I love it so much that it’s on my class ring. I just love the idea of just burning down that old whatever and becoming new.

You know how I told you that I’m going to write a book? I already made the cover and there is a phoenix on it rising.

Yes, because a phoenix is just beautiful. The whole concept behind the phoenix is absolutely gorgeous, and I love it. I think that that’s great. Now that you’ve done that, now that you learned how to surrender and you learned how to find this feminine side of you and still be a strong woman, this alpha goddess—we’re going to talk about that in a minute—what are the secrets to becoming—and you don’t have to give them all up, but give us a few tips—a love magnet?

Oh, my God. Well, where would I begin? I don’t know where to begin.

Give us a couple of good ones.

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The first step is self-love. Louise Hay, she’s got mirror work, and I love her teaching and her teachings were there for me in my darkest moments. One of the things that she teaches is to go to the mirror and to say I love you to yourself. Just look at yourself in the mirror and say, I love you. She says that when something good happens, run to the mirror and say, I love you. When something bad happens, run to the mirror and say, I love you. I love you no matter what.

That was my first practice. At the beginning of my journey, when I was in that super dark place, I looked in the mirror and said I love you. It didn’t work because I started crying. I said it again and then I said it again. Eventually, there was one day when I could say it without crying. Then there was another day where I could say it and I kind of believe it. Now I can say it like I love you. I really, really love you. I really, really love you.

I feel that love begins with self-love. It’s not about being completely in love with yourself and completely confident in order to attract love, but there is a certain level of self-love, self-dignity, and self-trust that needs to happen because we attract attraction from our vibration.

When our vibration is a little low, we will maybe attract people that look amazing, but because we don’t have self-esteem, confidence, or self-love, we will allow bad behavior. We will compromise, we won’t keep our standards high. Especially for women in their late 30s or over forties, where they’re like, oh my God, it’s shrinking. I can’t find a good man so I’m going to just hold on to everything that I have just so I can have a relationship. This is a mistake because when you lower your standards, you get relationships that are not optimal and that can hurt you more than build you up.

I love mirror work. I watched Louise Hay with, I think she was with Cheryl Richardson one time. Cheryl was really great. She said when I first went to the mirror and tried to say I love you, she would say I love you but then there was a but. There was a but somewhere. I love you, but.

She said sometimes she would go to the mirror, and she’d say, I love you. Then she’d start going, oh, I hate my ear, I have a zit here, I wish I had better eyebrows, or whatever. She said it took her a long time to just go to the mirror and just say, I love you. I love you no matter what and not have a but, a flaw, or something that follows immediately.

The more women we reach, the more impact we can have together in our lives.

Yes, for sure. It’s also about forgiveness. We need to forgive ourselves. It’s almost easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. Like you said, you look back and you’re like, I don’t know if I’m going to change anything because this is who I am today and I believe the same thing. Yes, I have my pet peeves where I’m like but if I did that, I would be able to be this amazing other person. Honestly, looking back, if I did not go through whatever I had to go through to become the person that I am today, I wouldn’t become the person that I am today.

Yes, exactly. One of the things I know and we are going to talk about your book, but what is the one thing that every—because I want to talk to single women—single woman must do in order to find love?

Build her confidence. I talked about forgiveness. I think the first step is forgiving past hurts. This is like when I do my seven-day challenge, one of the days is forgiveness. It’s challenging for many because they look back and they’re like, how can I forgive that person that hurt me? It’s their fault, but how can I forgive them?

With my ex, what I did is I called him. I was at the Landmark seminar and that was the exercise they gave us. They’re like, call your ex and say, please forgive me and also ask for forgiveness. My ego was like, I need to ask for forgiveness. Me? It took a lot of courage.

I called him and I was like, I just want to say, please forgive me for this and that I forgive you. At first, it was like, yeah, but you were like this and this and this and it was like tons of poison. That’s what I expected. But eventually, he turned and he said, you know you’re a good person and I wish you all the best. I ended the conversation and I was just crying. I had to let go of the baggage.

You forgive not other people, but yourself. Because being angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

You forgive not for other people, you forgive yourself. Because being angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. So many women go around holding on to that poison and they don’t understand why they cannot move on. Just release that. Let go so you can move on. So you can open yourself to a new relationship. Forgive. Listen, if the person is too dangerous, then write him a letter. Do some kind of a ceremony. Don’t contact them.

If the person, unfortunately, passed away, then do the same. Write them a letter, do some kind of a ceremony. But forgiveness is something that you do for you. You don’t do it for anyone else because you want to break free of that heavy weight that brings you down. If a person can attract her soulmate, but she’s coming to the new relationship with all his baggage, then what? She’s going to self-sabotage. It’s not going to go anywhere.

You’re right. You’re absolutely right. So in keeping with the single women that we’re talking to today, your book is called—I really love the title, by the way—There Are Still Real Men Out There: How to Become a Love Magnet—give me your little elevator pitch in your book.

Well, this is just an eBook. That’s not my formal book that I’m writing. But it’s a short manual that helps women connect and awaken that spirit. It gives you some tips on how to connect to your femininity, how to feel better, how to take care of yourself better because when a woman is alive and juicy—when we go on vacation, people are attracted to us more because why? Because we are free. We’re in our flow. We are playful and more childlike.

We magnetize more and especially more attention from men. So why not do it in real life? Taking those moments to connect these to your sensuality, connect to your body, learn some feminine arts, learn what makes you and brings you pleasure, and also to find yourself. What does being a woman mean to you? That’s important, but also, what I said, who do you need to become to attract that person? Do you have to be softer? Do you have to be kinder? How are you going to support him?

Do you have to learn better communication? Do you have to learn to forgive and be kinder? Do you need to uplevel your spirituality? If you want a person who is strong, successful, smart, and kind, and people have a long laundry list. Who do you need to become to attract that person? Why will this person want you? How do you uplift your own vibration so you are a vibrational match to this brilliant person that you’re looking for?

So how so you’re talking about femininity. Let’s give a definition to it. What is divine feminine energy? How can we define that? Then we’ll talk about how to tap into it.

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Let me ask you. When you think about masculine, what are the traits of the masculine?

Strong, powerful, masculine. Now I feel like I’m on the hotspot, okay, we’ve traded sides. Okay, so I do think it’s strong but I do think it’s supportive. Basically, somebody who’s willing to do anything for you. I don’t mean everything like human kind of a thing because when I was looking for a mate, I wanted somebody who is able to be vulnerable too but who would still open the door for me, who would still support me.

I don’t mean just financially. I mean, with all my craziness, I don’t come with a lot of crazy baggage right now. But I definitely am somebody that needs a lot of support emotionally because I’m a very emotional being. But I think of the strong, the powerful, and the supportive. That’s what I think.

So you’re talking about a man who is amazing and masculine in his core. Let me clarify what I’m thinking when I’m thinking about masculine energy and feminine energy, whether it’s within a man or within a woman because we are both yin and yang, we both have feminine and masculine traits.

To think about the masculine energy, the masculine is more independent, non-emotional, aggressive, tough, competitive, strong, active, conqueror, sexually aggressive, and rebellious. Those are more of the masculine traits. When I think about the feminine traits, that is more open, vulnerable, emotional, sensitive, graceful, in flow, child-like, and creative. Those are feminine traits.

I like those. I like everything you listed. Sign me up for all of them.

Most women, especially successful entrepreneurs or professional women, move more toward the masculine.

Yeah, and we need all of them. But most women, especially successful entrepreneurs or professional women, move more toward the masculine. It’s almost like the way I was, I’m independent, I’m going to show you how, I’m going to compete with you and show you that I’m better than you. I’m going to do all that because I’m afraid to get hurt because something happened in the past, or somebody told me something in the past and I don’t want to get hurt.

I’m going to bring this into the relationship. But it’s about learning the dance between the masculine and feminine energies because it’s you both throughout the day. But with your man, you want to be more dependent. Allow him to hold you. You can be very strong in the boardroom and in your business life, but with your man, allow him to be your hero, and learn what it is for you to be softer, sexier, more sensual, in the flow, and enjoying yourself.

It’s lovely because it’s not, I mean, there is some degree of physical appearance. But mostly, this is what they are attracted to, that side of you. I mean, of course, they are attracted to your success and everything else you bring to the table. But in an intimate relationship, you want to create that polarity. You want to create that dance between masculine and feminine energies. It can’t always be masculine and allow him to always be masculine because then it won’t work.

So how do we tap into that though? How do I tap into that sensuality? How do I tap into the vulnerability? Is that just a matter of self-care and being confident in that where you don’t feel like you have to overpower but you are just again, like you were saying, yin and yang and all of that? How do I get to be more feminine in my relationship?

I think it’s got a lot to do with self-care. The mental self-care like saying I love you to yourself and then meditating, connecting to a higher power source, getting the love there, feeling full of love by connecting to infinite power. But also, we have issues in our tissues. We want to release those. I do believe in healers and bodyworkers.

I take pole dancing with Sheila Kelley. It’s wonderful because I can go there and dance my emotions. If I have anger, rage, disgust, or whatever emotion I experience at that moment, I can dance it off. I can move my body and allow her to release her emotion. I can express my bliss through my body. It’s important that we learn to move in curvy ways because most exercises are almost like it’s designed for the male body. But women move in curvy ways.

When you heal, you allow yourself to experience more pleasure.

So tantric practices, Kundalini Yoga, anything that allows yourself to connect that energy inside of you, that serpent energy, and allow her to rise because sometimes she just gets stuck, especially for women, if they have sexual trauma, pain, hurt, we need to heal that. When you heal that, you allow yourself to experience more pleasure. You want to practice mindfulness, be in the moment, connect to your body, connect to your breath, breathe, just be in a moment with your body, feel her, and see her as beautiful.

I agree. I’ve been thinking about finding a dance class, not exactly pole dancing. That’s another option. But I just needed to take a dance class that you can go and learn and dance. I used to love to dance more. I haven’t done that as much as an adult. I think you’re right, it’s an absolutely awesome way for expression.

Belly dancing is good too, tribal dancing, free dancing, and also getting a massage. There are some people out there that do massage with healing or sexual healing. If a woman is listening right now who needs that, then go find somebody that will heal you. Find that coach. Find that mentor. Read that book. It starts with awareness. When we understand this part of us, that goddess was locked in the basement for too long and now we should open the door and allow her to shine and integrate her into our beingness.

Just by starting with awareness, the woman will take the right action steps. It’s very simple. Just ask yourself, how do I feel more in flow? How do I connect to my creativity? Should I go and just stick paint in my hands and just start painting with my fingers and just get messy and creative? Do I need to walk on the beach and connect to nature? Do I need to touch animals or ride horses? What do you need to do to feel more free? To feel more alive? To feel more in your essence?

I agree. I love that. I was like, okay, I wouldn’t do that. But yes, I would do that. I was making a checklist as you were talking.

Why not get outside of your comfort zone and do something that you’re afraid to do?

Yes.

This is great. This is great also for business. Everything you do is something outside of your comfort zone, it translates to your life, to your business, to everything. So if you are afraid of taking that pole dancing class, I challenge you.

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You’re telling me to take one anyway.

I challenge you because I knew that you did not like that one. But I also have to say something. The company I take classes with, it’s very women-centric. It is about connecting to that feminine energy. We don’t have mirrors. Some studios are like bright lights and mirrors and it’s all about 1, 2, 3, turn, jump, right leg up. I’m just saying find a practice that feels congruent to you physically, emotionally, and mentally where you go there and you’re like, oh, that’s nice. I want to experience more. I want to experiment more.

By the way, that journey of going into your feminine never ends. It’s almost like you have a treasure box that is you. You open it and the treasures just show up just how deep down the rabbit hole. Are you willing to go, to experiment, to dare, to explore? Life is an adventure and you’re infinite potential.

Is this your definition of alpha goddess? Is that what an alpha goddess is? Tell me what that is.

Yes. I think women from alpha, which is mostly of the masculine and I upgrade them to alpha plus or alpha goddess. Because then they integrate that part of them that they saw as weak, vulnerable, something they should not bring into their business life, something that should be hidden because you are too emotional. I love when somebody tells me you are too emotional. Yes, I’m a woman.

I was working on that. Thank you.

I’m full of emotions. I’m full of expression. I have a sixth sense. I’m so emotional that I can hold you with my very developed emotions. This is our strength, not our weaknesses. When you stop looking at that part of you as a weakness, and you just allow her to shine and integrate with everything that you are, all the success that you build, all those traits that helped you become successful, but you also integrate this extra element into it, then people will look at you. This is what happens to my clients, people look at them and they say, there’s something different about you. Is that your hair? Did you lose weight? Something’s changed.

It’s the energy that shines from within. That energy is rising and she’s taking over. When a successful woman goes with that energy into the boardroom, instead of fighting like the men and being in a constant state of fight, she goes, she understands how to close a deal. She understands the business. She knows everything.

Her logical brain, her left brain is grounded, but she’s also connected to that extra essence and creativity. Instead of fighting in the boardroom, the people around her melt. There’s more cooperation. You achieve the same goal, but in a different way, without feeling so stressed out of your mind, without feeling so tight, without feeling like you can’t breathe.

I think that it’s a whole other level of self-care that you’re talking about. We talked about self-care, and there are all of these different definitions of self-care. But we’re talking most specifically about women and self-care, and all of these different things that you can still be while being in touch with your feminine side in a bunch of different ways, and having, like what you say, just to be juicy and sensual. Because I love those words.

I think that’s great because I am a very independent person. I will find myself in my relationship. Like you were saying, it’s a treasure box and you keep learning more. I will find it at times because I’ve been very independent in my previous life, and I can do it all. I can run the house. I can do all of these things. But just because I can doesn’t mean that I should.

Sometimes I will get overbearing and I won’t let my husband do things for me. Because I will already be, oh, I already took care of it. He listens to all these podcasts so he’s going to hear this, by the way. There are a few things that he does for me that just feel very loving and I feel very spoiled. This is a dumb example but I really liked this one because it illustrates it perfectly.

We both mountain bike and we both coach the local high school mountain bike team, so we have this connection, but he’s always taking care of my bikes for me. I don’t do any maintenance on my bike.

Surrender not from a place of victimhood; instead, surrender to your highest power, the Divine Power, Universe, God, or whatever you call it. Click To Tweet

That’s so cute.

He gets it. So he knows, like on Wednesday, that I’m going to go ride with my friend in the afternoon, and we do road riding in Westlake Village. He gets up in the morning, and as part of his morning routine, he goes out and pumps up my tires and checks my chain, puts my Garmin on my bike, and I love that. I love that.

Now could I do it myself? Yeah, I can do it myself. I’m independent enough and I have the know-how to do it. But to me, it is such a loving act that he does for me and so I love that. Again, you’re just letting yourself be a part of the team, rather than going, I’m the boss. I can do it all and you’re just tagging along for the ride.

Yeah, not cool.

Yeah, not cool.

What’s his name?

Eddie.

Hi, Eddie. He loves you.

He does. Oh, my gosh. And he’s amazing. He shows it in a lot of different ways. But that was just a very basic example of how we work as a team and he shows love to me.

Yeah, that’s perfect. That’s a perfect example of exactly what I’m talking about. Allow yourself to be held but also know it’s important to put boundaries. You can’t just open yourself to anyone and be oh my God, now I’m going to be my feminine self. I’m going to dress as much as I want. I’m going to be my sensual self all the time. Yeah, but also, just use common sense. Just know which environment you’re in and be discerning. Am I going to open up to that person? We test our men more than once so it’s okay to be like destined, period. Yeah, it’s okay too.

Yeah, that’s where forgiveness comes in. If you need to go backward and do a little forgiveness talk, you can do that later. I know that I’ve had to ask Eddie’s forgiveness on many occasions. It is what it is and as part of the relationship and inevitably, if you’re with someone for any period of time, you have to learn how to go through those.

The couples that survive are the people that are willing to work on their relationship.

You know my relationship on Facebook looks so beautiful and I have these beautiful photos and everybody, everybody—it doesn’t matter how spiritual, advanced, popular, or whatever they are, everybody goes through their ups and downs. The couples that survive are the people that are willing to work on their relationship. It’s just like you brush your teeth every morning. You want to nourish the relationship every day. The more you put into it, the more you’re going to get out of it.

I agree. I love that with your version of self-care, it really is about you. I don’t mean that in a selfish way. You’ve got to figure your crap out before you’re able to show up in a relationship or attract a relationship that is going to compliment you. If anybody’s gotten to the end of this podcast and you’re like okay, that all sounds good, but I don’t know how to take step one, then we’re going to hook you up with Orion. You can call her and she can help you do this.

I want to read this because I love this quote from your website, and it says this, “I’ll let you in on a big secret I have learned. You are the most important person. You are worthy of your dreams and of love. The longer you delay taking care of your physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being, the longer you hold up getting your dreams into fruition.” I love that quote because you want to delay any of those things. I want all of those things.

Whether it is taking a baby step of looking up some funny videos on YouTube or calling Orion and saying, okay, I know you did it, how can I do it? I need it. I want it, then I know that everybody is deserving of this. It is within your reach to find. It is within your reach.

It might not seem like it right now. It might not feel like it. You’re listening to this podcast. You’re ready to just turn it off and go, forget you, I don’t know what you’re talking about but it’s possible. Orion has found it. I have found it. Other women have found it. Everyone is deserving of that and can find it too.

Amen. Amen to that because if you don’t have faith in yourself, we have faith in you. We know that you can. We know your infinite potential and we know that your dreams can come true and you deserve it.

This is why I created the Lemonade Podcast. Lauri’s Lemonade Stand is about connecting us to something that’s going to move us forward. What is the next chapter? What is the next step that you’re going to take to get there? This is it. So Orion, tell everybody how they can reach you. Because if they are having an issue in this department and they need to reach out to you, how can they find you?

Absolutely. You can go to my website, orionsmethod.com. You can contact me there. You can even email me, orion@nullorionsmethod.com. You can listen to my podcast, Stellar Life Podcast. It is a great podcast and it’s stellarlifepodcast.com.

Tell me what’s on the podcast, what your podcast specifically is about so everyone knows.

It’s pretty much the same idea as yours where it’s how we can make life better. It’s how you can make life not good or excellent, but stellar. I bring experts from all kinds of topics, from relationship to stem cells, to hormone balance, to fitness, to mindset, to spirituality. I had some big names on the show. So yeah, just go listen. That’s a good podcast.

Lovely, lovely. Oh, it is, I’ve tuned in so yes, I would recommend it. If you haven’t gone and checked it out, then absolutely everybody needs to go and check that out. I have that. Stellar Life podcast, right?

Okay, good.

Oh my gosh. You’ve been wonderful today. Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and knowledge. I hope that other people reach out to you because you are amazing. I want to reach out to you just so I can find out where you’re pole dancing because you’re only an hour away from me.

Oh my God, yes. We’ll talk about that.

So let’s jump on over to lemonade moments. What is the biggest thing you’ve accomplished this last year?

Getting married to my soulmate is my biggest achievement so far.

I got married exactly a year ago. This last weekend, we celebrated my husband’s birthday and I gave him this lovely weekend. We got some spa treatment and hot springs. It was amazing. So we got married. We met a day after his birthday. We ended up marrying on his birthday. So it’s my birthday and our anniversary. Getting married to my soulmate is my biggest achievement so far, I think.

Yes, that needs to be celebrated. Awesome. That is so wonderful. Okay, one activity you do every day without fail.

I play with my cat.

A cat lover.

But also, this is a good tip for everybody that wants to just make their relationship better. It’s something that my husband and I do without fail because our brain is wired to look for what’s missing, for what’s wrong from ancient times, we look for danger. So we want to condition our subconscious mind to look for what’s good. This is a tip that we got from Harville Hendrix, every night before we go to bed, we say three things to each other that we appreciate about each other.

It can be very simple like oh my god, honey, thank you for doing the dishes. Thank you for helping me with my grammar. Thank you for doing this little thing for me. Thank you for your beautiful eyes, little things. So every day, three things that you say to each other, three things that you love, adore, and appreciate about each other. Then you are in the attitude of gratitude. You remember why you’re with this person. You also are reminded how amazing this person is and how blessed you are. If you’re single, then you can do it for yourself. Every night before you go to bed, thank yourself for three things that you did that day.

That’s a great idea. Fabulous idea. I need to institute that immediately. That’s a wonderful idea. I write in my journal every night before I go to bed. I should just make that part of my evening routine.

Sure.

Absolutely. Okay, favorite non-guilty pleasure food.

Chocolate.

Do you have a favorite?

I just like chocolate. I don’t care. Anything chocolate.

Okay, what is your biggest pet peeve?

Oh my God, okay. When I came to the US, I came here to study acting and become the next Angelina Jolie. It didn’t work.

You’re cute enough. I’m seeing you.

So when I started acting, I was a little insecure. Then my teachers and casting directors were like, well, you’re from Israel, and you probably are going to get a small role as a terrorist. You probably are not going to be able to succeed. I mean, they use different words, but this is what I heard and I believed them and I believed my own little voice. Now the most iconic woman superhero in American history is Gal Gadot who is an Israeli actress. So do not believe the naysayers. Do not believe those people that are just flooding you with their own negative beliefs. You are capable.

Yes. That makes me angry and all at the same time. I love Wonder Woman.

Me too.

Okay.

Pet peeve is that I listened to my little voice. But like I said before, I had to become the person I am today, so yeah.

No matter what you have done or not done, you are worthy of love. – Dr. John Demartini

Yeah, you have to get outside of your own head. We talked about that a lot. You have to get out of your own head because things can get squarely in there. Okay, favorite quote you’re loving right now.

“No matter what you have done or not done, you are worthy of love.” This is by Dr. John Demartini, one of my mentors. Every time I say it or I hear this quote, it just brings me a lot of joy and also a lot of relief because you are worthy of love just because you are. It’s not about the things that you do or where you are just because you are, you are worthy of love.

I love it. And that’s a perfect way to end our podcast because this is the love month of February. I am going to encourage everyone to get on your website so they can be a part of the love challenge you run around Valentine’s day every year. I’m just so excited to be a part of it. Thank you again for being a part of this podcast and for being on Lauri’s Lemonade Stand.

Thank you, Lauri. Thank you so much.

That’s a wrap.

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Help us reach more women and spread positivity. Don’t forget to click subscribe so you don’t miss any upcoming episodes. As always, for daily doses of positivity, check out Lauri’s Lemonade Stand on Facebook, and don’t forget to visit my website at laurislemonadestand.com and click subscribe to be added to our lemonade email list. Thank you for listening and becoming a partner. See you next week.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓}Take one step at a time to achieve your goals. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed when you have a big goal in front of you. It will be easier to approach your goal by breaking it down and taking it slowly.

{✓}Surrender to God, Universe, or a Higher Power. Surrendering isn’t turning your life over and giving up control. Instead, it is accepting help and trusting that a power greater than yourself will guide you in the right direction.

{✓}Write your relationship vision. Write what you want in a partner, but most importantly, write who you need to become to attract the person you want.

{✓}Practice self-love. Self-love is the key to mental well-being and keeps depression and anxiety at bay. It is not being selfish but putting yourself first and not being too tough on yourself.

{✓}Hold your standards high. Don’t waste your time on someone who will treat you less than you deserve. Knowing your value is key as it allows you to see how lucky someone is to be in a relationship with you.

{✓}Learn to forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness can give you peace of mind, reduce anxiety and stress, and improve relationships with yourself and others.

{✓}Be forgiving to others. Forgiveness can lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. However, it doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Instead, it brings peace that helps you go on with life.

{✓}Balance your masculine and feminine energy. Having a healthy balance of masculine and feminine qualities can help you be goal-oriented yet surrendered, logical yet intuitive, and confident yet receptive.

{✓}Develop a mindfulness practice. Mindfulness practices can help you to increase your ability to regulate emotions and decrease stress, anxiety and depression. It can also help you focus your attention and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

{✓}Set healthy boundaries. Establishing boundaries is good for you and the people around you. When you’re clear about your boundaries, people will understand your limits and know what you are and aren’t OK with.