A Personal Note From Orion

One’s life always has its ups and downs. I also have my share of life experiences – some are good, and some are bad. But these experiences made me who I am today – a strong woman ready to help other women embrace life to the fullest.

I’m very excited to share my conversation with Jeff Smith of the Vroom Vroom Veer podcast, where I talked about my life story. I also discuss how I was able to remove myself from an abusive relationship, fought depression, and found an amazing transformation that led me to my loving husband. In addition, I explained how to embrace the Divine Feminine and balance the masculine and feminine energy in your life.

This episode will surely inspire you to start your own self-transformation journey. And now, without further ado, on with the show!

 

 

In This Episode

• [00:00] – Orion shares her appearance in Vroom Vroom Veer with Jeff Smith as she talks about her past experiences and transformation journey.
• [03:15] – What was it like growing up in Israel for Orion? 
• [06:21] – How did Orion go to Japan in her early 20s?
• [11:58] – Jeff and Orion exchange their ideas and beliefs on UFOs, aliens, and enlightenment.
• [17:21] – What was the dark moment Orion experienced in her life?
• [20:26] – Orion decides to stop walking on eggshells.
• [25:13] – Orion talks about the biggest veer of joining Tony Robbins’ event.
• [31:01] – What did Orion realize after Tony Robbins discusses femininity and masculinity?
• [32:02] – Orion talks about how she met Stephan, her husband, and how they ended up getting married.
• [40:10] – Jeff narrates how he and his wife uses their femininity and masculinity as a couple, prompting Orion to explain how to connect to your feminine side.
• [49:46] – Jeff wraps up and invites listeners to visit Orion’s podcast and website.

Jump to Links and Resources

About Today’s Show

Orion Talmay, welcome to Vroom Vroom VEER, and thanks for being on the show. How’s it going?

It’s going great, and thank you for having me.

All right. This is Vroom Vroom VEER, so we have to talk a little about vrooms and veers. 

Before we do that, let’s talk about what you’ve got going on. You’ve got a podcast at stellarlifepodcast.com, and you’ve also got your coaching website, orionsmethod.com. Talk a little bit about what’s exciting to you in your life and business today.

What’s exciting to me is that internal sensation that something really good will happen. The feeling that I’m following the right path and my purpose. It took a while to get to my purpose. It took a lot of ‘vrooms’ and ‘veers’ to get to my purpose.

One of my greatest gifts was that dark moment I experienced. Click To Tweet

I am a love coach and a transformation coach. I help women awaken their inner goddess. I usually work with alpha-type women that need to awaken that part of themselves so they can feel more freedom, they can shine, will have a different type of confidence, and they can attract their soulmate.

Oh, neato. That sounds like a lot of fun.

It is fun. It’s really fun.

But it also sounds like you could probably go through some stuff. I bet you do.

It’s always fun on the other side. I mean, it’s deep work, but it doesn’t have to be deep work all the time. You have to have some fun.

You have to lighten it up, yes.

Yes.

But I’m sure you will go through some stuff. So let’s talk a little bit about your life journey and your vrooms and veers. You told me you’re from Israel. Did you grow up in Israel?

I grew up in the Holy Land of Israel and the Sin City of Tel Aviv.

What was growing up in Tel Aviv like?

It was great. It was wonderful. At 18, I served in the Israeli army like everybody else. I was a rebel in my teenage years. I did everything I was told not to do.

Good for you. That’s what you’re supposed to do, I think.

Yeah, I got some discipline when I went to the army. After the military, I found myself working as a car salesperson.

Are you a car salesperson? Wow.

Yes. I didn’t have a license, but I was selling cars. It was really weird.

Oh, you didn’t have a driver’s license? So you didn’t own or drive, but you’re selling cars?

Correct.

Good for you.

But it felt like I wasn’t in the right place. It felt restricting.

A little inauthentic, maybe?

Inauthentic, boring. I went to the library, and I found a book about Japan. It was a travel book. I was so in love with the book that I bought a copy and started highlighting all the places I wanted to go to. Then I gave a two weeks notice.

And how old are you at this point now?

I was 21-22.

That’s amazing. I was in Japan in 2018, 2019, and 2020.

What were you doing in Japan?

That was my first duty assignment in the United States Air Force.

Nice. Respect.

Yeah, right? You were in the army. I was in the Air Force. High five.

Awesome. I only had $700 in my pocket. I remember my conversation with my manager. He said, “with today’s economy, you have a good, and you make good money.” I made good money; I just didn’t keep it. “You should stay. People would love to have a job like yours,” blah-blah-blah. I was like, “well, thank you so much, mister manager. I appreciate you.” I’m dying from the inside. I didn’t say that, but I felt that.

The biggest point I learned was that I have a feminine power, and it's not bad. Click To Tweet

The night before I traveled, I went to do some last shopping. This woman told me about these two girls who went to Japan and got lost in the snow, and nobody opened their doors. It scared me completely the night I traveled, but I went there.

You went anyway.

I went anyway. I went for three weeks. That was the plan, three weeks, and I ended up staying for 3 ½ years.

Okay, where did you start? Did you go to Tokyo, to begin with?

Yeah, I went to Tokyo. I worked in bars and restaurants. Just go and find a way to make a living. I actually met a Japanese guy, fell in love, and stayed with him for the rest of my stay.

Neat. And you stayed mostly in the Tokyo area, or did you travel often?

I traveled all over Japan. I was based in Tokyo, but we’ve been traveling extensively. I went to so many places, more than the average Japanese will ever go to in Japan. It was an amazing experience because the man I was with was a businessman. He was a traveler. He was almost like he was mentoring me to see more, be more, experience more, and understand that there is more to life than I know and can imagine.

You’re really doing way more than the typical tourist adventure in Japan.

Yeah. I danced with the geishas in Itō and Atami. I learned how to put a kimono on and did a tea ceremony.

That’s a lot of work.

Yeah, they have to dress you. There are layers to this.

My wife wore the kimono with the headdress and everything for our wedding. She was crying because her real hair was tied into really tight knots.

Oh no.

I know. Sometimes, the Japanese people take things a little too far. So I was like, “do we have to do that?” Thankfully, it only lasted for half of the ceremony. She was in excruciating pain for about an hour. And then, they make you do a costume change. So, thank God.

Yeah, thank God. Wow.

The dark side of Japanese tradition.

I’m sure she looked amazing.

She did, and the pictures looked great. Maybe sometimes the pain is worth it. I was sitting there trying to have a good time, and she’s like, “ah.” A little tear is coming out of her eye.

Oh no.

Don't always rush on things; take time and appreciate the journey. Click To Tweet

I know. My heart broke. I was like, “stop it. Let’s get out of here. Let’s go take that hat off.” It was sad.

Anyway, that’s amazing. My first duty assignment was way back–I’m going to tell everybody how old I am now–I was in Japan from 1988–1990, just two years. But I was way up north in Aomori at Misawa Kichi. That’s Misawa Airbase way up north. Not in Hokkaido, but Aomori is the northernmost prefecture of Honshu island (the main island). It’s big on skiing, and it’s 400 miles away from Tokyo. So it was awesome because we could go snow skiing in the winter.

Powder snow.

Yeah. You could get off work, drive for 30 minutes, and go skiing. I ski until 10 PM, go home, go to bed, and go back to work the next day with no problem. That was the only time I downhill skied in my life because it was easy and close. Amazeballs. And then in the summertime, we did a lot of camping. So that was fun. Have you ever gone camping in Japan? Are you a camper?

Yeah. Well, I went to a couple of raves in Japan that involved camping. I went to a rave in Sadogashima. I remember my sister came to visit. We took about three trains, a taxi, and then a ferry to get there. This tiny island only has good weather a couple of days a year. So that’s where they started the Japanese drumming.

Oh, the Taiko drumming?

Yes.

What’s the name of the island again?

Sadogashima.

I’m not familiar with the name, but I’ll ask my wife, “have I been there?” And she goes, “yeah, you were there.” So that was the place with the deer.

Oh, the deer is Nara.

Nara, right. See? I don’t remember the names of the places, but I remember the experience.

And Nara is the city where the deer roam free.

Right. So you were there?

And you feed them. One of them keeps bumping me in my butt. I was like, “Okay, you guys are cute, but I’m out of here.”

I remember that because they’re begging for food. The last time I went to Japan, I went to another one of those tiny islands. I don’t remember where the hell we were. Let me see if I can remember. The claim to fame on this small island was where they shot The Wolverine movie based in Japan.

No, I didn’t know.

Well, that was neat because you’re out in the middle of nowhere where nobody goes. And we were off-season, too. It’s a touristy place, but we were there in the winter or fall. So you take this little ferry, and then there’s this tiny island with nothing on it but hiking trails and a little resort.

There was this whole group of folks there for a workshop. The workshop was about a blogger woman in the States, and they were making contact with UFOs and aliens, but her main audience was there in Japan.

Do you believe in UFOs?

Well, yeah, sure, I do. Have you ever heard of that idea from the movie Contact with Jodie Foster? There’s this math problem that says if there’s no other intelligent life in the universe, it’s an amazing waste of space. Now, whether or not those folks are talking to other intelligence, I’m skeptical but open. How’s that sound?

I know. Me, too. I’m the same.

Yeah, I’m skeptical but open because it’s impossible to verify.

Do you know? It’s interesting when you look at the history of the Catholic church, and you see flying saucers in ancient art, in the art pieces. It’s pretty crazy. Also, they dug the Vatican and found what can look like alien skulls.

Yeah, with the big, elongated skulls?

Yeah. I like sci-fi.

Me too. I love everything that opens up a door that I have either never thought about, like alternative dimensions, parallel universes, or anything that talks about the nature of reality, like The Matrix, those kinds of head bendy, like “whoa,” whenever you get to peer behind the veil a little bit.

It’s like moments of enlightenment where you experience that. It’s like, “whoa, is this real? Did I experience that?” Then you go back to your (I guess) earthly version. Then, later on, you have another moment of enlightenment where you can feel oneness. You can really feel like you’re tapping into different dimensions. Or you can feel like you’re manifesting things in your life and live in The Matrix.

Elon Musk says we’re more likely in a simulated universe than not. He’s the guy that’s in charge of Tesla.

Really?

Yeah. He’s the guy that wants to go to Mars.

Because Mars is so cool.

Mars is cool.

There’s nothing on Mars.

I’m torn about Mars. I mean, yes, the adventurer in me wants to go to Mars. But it’s just so far away. So it seems to me that making Earth better would be much easier.

Oh, yes.

I’m not saying let’s not go to Mars because that’s great. Let’s do that because we’re explorers and need to keep exploring. But at the same time, why don’t we spend billions of dollars making the Earth more awesome?

I love it. I will vote for you.

Oh, cool. All right. I didn’t make that up. That was that guy. Who was that really smart astrophysicist? I’ll remember his name in a second. But anyway, let’s move on. You’re in Japan, and you’re having your adventures. That lasts 3 ½ years.

Are we sharing my whole life story here?

Well, you know, what was the next big veer? We don’t have to go, no. We don’t want to—

Fast-forward.

For a relationship to work, you need polarity. Click To Tweet

Yes, fast-forward. Feel free to jump around. It’s like pulp fiction. You don’t need to go on over.

So, the quantum leap jumps into the future. After many vroom and veers, ups and downs, and feeling like you live in the Himalayas—where one day you’re on the top, and the next day you’re in the valleys and go through lots of things—the major thing that happened to me that was a catalyst for change, putting me on the path that I am today, in retrospect, is one of my greatest gifts back then was that dark moment I experienced.

I met this guy who was handsome and sexy. I was excited when he used to ride heavy motorcycles and fly planes.

Super alpha dude.

Super alpha dude. And fell in love with him. A few weeks into the relationship, I guess it started earlier, but I couldn’t understand. Like when you put a frog in boiling water, the frog will jump. But if you put the frog in the pot and turn on the heat slightly, the frog will not.

He’ll be like, “hey, I’m taking a bath.”

Yeah, I’m taking a bath until he dies. I didn’t feel the heat getting stronger and stronger. It started with little, snarky remarks, and there was very verbally abusive, almost like brainwashing. When you’re with a predator, there is something similar about predators. They’re all alike in some shape or form.

They fit in a pattern of manipulation.

When you’re with a predator, there’s a pattern of manipulation that includes isolation and crazy-making.

There is a pattern of manipulation that includes isolation and crazy-making.

They’re making you vulnerable and dependent.

Like, “I’m telling you, you love carrots.” I don’t know how to explain it, but you were like, “yes, I like carrots,” and he said, “What? I never said that. Did you hear me say it?” That’s crazy-making.

Oh, so really seriously fucking with your head, is what you’re saying.

Yes. Thank you. That will be the scientific term.

Correct. Okay, crazy-making would be really fucking with your head. It’s okay to drop F-bombs if the host does.

F yes.

Okay, so he’s messing with you.

He was messing with my mind until a few months into the relationship. I ended up in a hospital. I remember that night when I was alone on the hospital bed. It was the middle of the night, and I was completely isolated from my friends and family. When you’re in a hospital, you want your loved one to be with you, but the person I love the most at the time-

Was your abuser.

Yes. It’s really painful. I was strong enough. As this progressed, I felt something was going on. I went to the library and remembered reading Stop Walking on Eggshells. 

It’s so weird. I read this at Barnes & Nobles a day or two before it happened. I don’t remember the exact words, but somebody looked at me reading that and said, “if something happened to you, call the police.” A stranger. When it happened, I immediately called the police and went to the hospital. 

He was not with me anymore. He went to a different city. It was the darkest moment of my life. I was completely depressed. I was completely broken. I believed I was fat, ugly, or whatever, like a pain in the eye. I drank. I just felt destroyed.

I went to a psychologist, and she wanted to put me on medications. Even though medications are good for some people for me, I knew that there was a power inside of me that I could ignite. I always see myself as the phoenix rising from the ashes. I knew that I would be okay if I tapped into this light.

I did everything I could physically, mentally, and emotionally to strengthen myself.

I did everything I could physically, mentally, and emotionally to strengthen myself. I started by watching funny YouTube videos, reading about self-development, attending many seminars and martial arts classes, and getting my body strong. I did MMA and Aikido because my thought was—

And that helps in the isolation, too, because it’s very social. You’re putting positive people in your life, too.

Yes. And my business started thriving. I had a personal training business at the time. I got stronger and better. Everything was good, but there was a void. I knew something was missing because every guy I dated couldn’t stay with me for more than 2–3 months.

You couldn’t trust them anymore.

No. The question therein my life was, how could I not get hurt? When you get into a relationship with that question of how you can not get hurt, guess what?

How could I not get hurt? So, the answer is, let’s stop. This guy is just going to do it, too, probably. So, let’s not go too far.

Or let’s provoke him to a point where he’s blowing up, and I can justify my idea that men are hurtful, men are bad, and men equal pain.

That’s hard to get over, I would imagine.

Yeah. You know what? It’s interesting. I couldn’t get over it because it wasn’t even in my consciousness. I didn’t realize I was doing that.

That’s one of those. It’s in your gut, almost.

Yeah. The moment I knew what it was, it was as I told you. So I studied the greatest leaders and luminaries of our time. I have traveled to over 34 countries from then to now and just studied with the best in the areas of self-development, relationships, sexuality, self-development, marketing, and all that good stuff.

But you still had that.

I needed a course correction and outside interference to my path. I got it when I went to Tony Robbins’ Date with Destiny.

Yeah, but this is what I’m saying. I think Einstein said that if a force goes in one direction, it will keep going in the same direction unless an outside interference changes the course. So I need that course correction, that outside interference to my path. I got it when I went to Tony Robbins’ Date with Destiny.

That was another big veer for you? This is a wake-up call.

Yes.

What did you earn with Tony?

I learned that Tony’s awesome.

Tony is awesome, yeah.

I’ve learned I raised The Power Within at Date with Destiny before that and walked on fire. By the way, since then, I walked on fire, I walked on glass, I broke an arrow on my neck, I broke boards, and I did the Tough Mudder. So I did all sorts of things to get out of my comfort zone.

Does it work?

I guess so. It works if you let it. It works if you are open enough. It works if you recognize what you’ve done and celebrate your achievements.

That’s important. Okay, so you’re at Date with Destiny and still struggling with lingering pain?

It wasn’t a pain. I was alone, and I was numb to it. I want to get married, and I want to find a good person. But whatever. I live my life. Life’s good. Business is good. I will go to Date with Destiny and make my business even better.

So you didn’t go there consciously thinking, I have something to work on?

No. I was fine. I was strong.

I love that. That’s the perfect vroom attitude. Everything’s okay.

I was convinced that everything was okay. But, you know, sometimes we minimize our pain so that we won’t have to deal with it or take a good look into it. So probably your listeners have some pain they’re minimizing right now, and they are not willing to look at it until one day something happens, somebody said something, and they’re like, “whoa. I want to deal with that,” and it starts with awareness.

For sure. Well, many times—I’ve said this before and bounced off of you—you don’t even know you’re in pain because you can’t feel it. Like you said before, you’re numbed. So sometimes it’s physical or emotional pain, just some pain from the past.

But you have to get a little awareness, feel better or different, and then have the perspective and go, “oh my God. I was in so much pain before, and I now know because I’m not in that pain anymore.”

Yeah, there are different stages of healing. First, you inspire. Then you go in, learn more, and learn more. You evolve. Then, you reach a point where the stars are aligned, the opportunity presents itself, and if you take a step and take this opportunity, you reap the rewards.

Right. Okay, so please walk us through what happened at Date with Destiny.

When you stretch, you grow.

It’s a beautiful seminar. It’s six days. It was relatively expensive. I think it’s like $7500, something like that. Not cheap. It was a stretch for me to go. But when you stretch, you grow. Ah, it rhymes.

Well done. You’re a poet, and you don’t know it.

Yes, that was cool. So Tony Robbins talks about relationships. He talks about masculinity and femininity. He does all kinds of exercises with the men and the women in the crowd to let them feel what masculine and feminine energies feel and look like. I was not aware that I was completely purely 90% masculine. Even though I have a feminine exterior, I was this little dude inside.

A masculine man doesn’t want another dude in their relationship. So unless I want to attract a man who’s more in his feminine and weak–which I was not that attracted to, I wanted a strong man–it wouldn’t work because there will always be a power struggle. Ten thousand light bulbs were on that day.

Boom, boom. They’re just exploding.

It’s an explosion of emotions–angry, sad, happy, and frustrated. Angry and sad and happy and frustrated. Angry and sad and happy, and again and again. 

That night, at exactly 1 AM, I was sitting by a waterfall at the resort. I sang this song that I wrote when I was 16. It was the desert and beautiful stars. I was singing to the stars. There was nobody there, and then I started crying and laughing, crying and laughing, complete breakdown and breakthrough, and I was able to write my relationship vision. 

Forty-eight hours later, I met Stephan. Twenty-four hours later, we said “I love you” to each other. Nine days later, he took me to Vegas. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go to Vegas. I was like, “oh, he’s probably a playboy.” Who invites a woman to Vegas? It’s so fast.

Am I getting scammed? That’s probably a good thing. At least your bullshit detector is on.

A masculine man doesn’t want another dude in their relationship. So it wouldn’t work because there will always be a power struggle.

Relationship coaches are so important because I spoke with a friend of mine who is a coach. He told me, “go have fun. Who knows?” He said something like, “just go with the flow.” So I said, “okay, I’m going to go with the flow.”

When we met, we met on a higher level. We met on a higher vibration. It wasn’t like you were meeting somebody and going to have coffee with them. It’s also after six days of inner work.

Intense inner work.

Yeah. We met with no masks, almost. It’s like heart connections. I followed my heart. I went to Vegas. He took me to the Miss Universe pageant. Then the next day, he said, “I have a surprise, and you have to close your eyes.” So he put me in a little car with two other dudes and covered my eyes.

It’s a little scary.

But it felt safe. I knew who he was, and I knew all his friends. His friends belong to Tony Robbins’ high-end mastermind, so I know they’re good, reputable people. If something happens–

But it’s got to be a little scary.

Do you know? It was, and it wasn’t.

It was exciting.

Yeah. You know who you’re with. He just felt really genuine. He takes me, and he’s like, “surprise.” There’s this air balloon that they’re getting ready to take off. We’re inside this little basket, just me, him and the operator. We’re overlooking the Vegas strip, and it’s beautiful. Twenty minutes into that, I see the guy that operates the balloon holding his phone and looking at us, and then Stephan goes on one knee, holding a diamond ring and proposes to me.

Wow. How can you say no?

I said, “not yet.” It was the most awkward 20 minutes descending.

But you didn’t say no. You just said, “not yet.”

I said, “not yet.” The guy who operates the balloon promises Stephan that he has never had a failed proposal before. Well, there’s always a first.

There’s always Orion. Good for you.

It’s very good that I took that time and did not rush into things. I guess it made him appreciate me more. Nine months later, he took me to the same waterfall and proposed. And I said, “yes.” We got married in Costa Rica six months ago.

Did you get married six months ago?

Yeah.

Wow. My goodness. That’s a great story.

Thanks.

What did he do in the nine months that changed your mind? So it was just like, he checked off all the squares?

God, he had to wear a shield, an armor to deal with all my testing him repeatedly. And I’m like, “let me test that you’re not going to hurt me.” So I went, and this is why I work with women. This is why I teach them. This is why they get the breakthrough: I went through the pain and the breakthrough. 

I was on this path of who I am as a woman and partner and what I can do to be a better partner.

Since then, I have worked on myself. I connected to my femininity. I had many mentors that taught me more about femininity, sexuality, and relationships. I studied with the best of the best, so I was on this path of who I am as a woman, who I am as a partner, and what I can do to be a better partner. 

Stephan, too, is always evolving, he’s a brilliant man with a big heart, and he’s a learner. We both love to grow, develop, and study. It wasn’t hard. It was still the Himalayas, just a different mountain region, and it was worth every minute.

That sounds awesome. I guess you got over it. You learned something at Date with Destiny about how to connect to that feminine power you’re talking about.

I think what I learned-the biggest point-was that I have feminine power. I have a feminine side, and it’s not bad.

Because you currently are incarnated as a woman. I can tell by your photo.

You never know.

Is Stephan very much alpha? Very masculine sort of energy?

Yeah. Stephan is an alpha. He’s not the bodybuilder–type alpha. But he’s very smart and very strong, business-savvy. People look up to him and look up for his advice. He’s an evolved alpha.

Evolved alpha, I like that. I guess the caveman sort of alpha image is a little dated. You have to be a little bit of that. You can’t be wimpy and get pushed around.

No. And in relationships, we both have a masculine and feminine side. The more the woman goes into the masculine, even though her man can be very alpha, he will go to the feminine for a relationship to work. It would help if you had polarity. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s a gay or straight relationship. It’s always the person who’s the more masculine and the more feminine person. That can change throughout the day and month, but generally, there’s always that dynamic. I’m using masculine and feminine. Some people don’t like those terms, but it’s just easier to use them because it’s easier to understand.

I can talk about this. My wife and I talk about this quite a bit. We’ve been married for 23 years, so we know each other quite well. We talk pretty openly about our feelings. 

Say, like in a scenario where we’re visiting Japan. She’s very much alpha and masculine, and I’m three years old and the “following mommy” because we’re in her space.

The woman drives the train when she needs to.

Now, when driving in a strange place, I’m very much in control and doing the thing. I’m the guy now. I’m the guy in charge. So when I ask her a question, like, “oh, figure this out because I’m driving,” she’d be like, “what? Are you talking to me? What do you want me to do?”

She’s totally tuned out because she can be. She’s become a little passive three-year-old because I’m in charge, and she can relax. Is that kind of what you’re talking about?

Yeah.

Who’s driving this train?

Who’s driving this train? Let me tell you. The woman drives the train when she needs to. She must remember, especially for the alpha, strong woman who is the boss in her private life. She must remember that it’s almost like allowing him to be the alpha with her man. 

Even though you can open the door and you’re strong enough to open the door, carry the groceries, change the lightbulb, put the picture on, you want to allow your man to be the man and take care of you because that’s what the man in their core—and correct me if I’m wrong—they want to be the hero. They want to take care of their woman.

When a woman is in her masculine, it’s almost like she thinks she’s strong, but it’s a type of weakness where she does not allow her man to be the man because she has to prove herself to herself and him so many times to prove to herself that she’s strong. 

When a woman knows she’s strong, has two energies, and still wants to create polarity in a relationship, she’s allowing her man to take care of her.

When she knows she’s strong, has those two energies, and wants to create the polarity in a relationship when she’s with her man, it’s about allowing him to take care of her. Because it’s more fun, and why not?

Right, for real. I never heard anybody put it that way, though. Even for me, now I’m going to be thinking, “what am I doing? Am I supposed to be in charge now?”

We have both masculine and feminine sides. It’s good to know how to tap into your femininity if you want to relate to your wife if she’s crying and you need to bring empathy or be a silly child with her. It’s okay to connect on that level. 

Looking at the big picture, you’re the man, and she’s the woman. If this is the type of dynamic you both enjoy, then you need to work on reminding yourselves that this is your role. It’s okay to be the complete opposite where the woman is the more masculine, the man is more into his feminine, and they enjoy this dynamic. That’s their thing. 

But in most cases, most people prefer the man to be the man and the woman to be the woman. It doesn’t mean that the woman is not super successful, mega-rich, super dominant, and owns her own thing, but with her man, she allows herself to breathe and allows him to take care of her because we need that. It’s so much more fun. Life is so much more fun that way.

Now you’re making me think like the other side. The thing that I’m thinking about is you do not have to fall like a dude. You have to remember to be a man sometimes.

How do you remind yourself to be a man?

As a man, it’s good to know how to tap into your femininity if you want to relate to your wife whenever you need to bring empathy to her.

I don’t know, but I’m going to have to.

Do you know what I think? Martial art is a good thing for men. It brings out their testosterone. And they’re also lifting weights, doing physical stuff, bringing out their rawr.

Also, I think it’s good for men to be in men’s societies and for women to be in women’s societies and then come together and become better because they nourish that side of themselves.

When I say women’s societies, I’m not only talking about business but societies for social development, for women to learn women’s art, and the men to learn how to be more anchored in their masculine.

What’s going through my head as a guy is that I resent your stereotypical alpha behavior. I had a big brother. He was three years older than me and did what big brothers do– totally dominating me. 

But there’s that lingering crap from the childhood of betas doing what betas do because it’s the most practical way to make the pain disappear. It’s like, “fine, fine, fine. You win. You’re bigger than me. Please stop it.” But I can’t live my life like a beta, right?

I totally get it. If this is your definition of alpha which sounds more like a caveman, I think you will resent it. What I’m talking about is evolved alpha. An evolved alpha is spiritual, can be sensitive, is a caregiver, and is a loving person. And he is strong, too. 

I’m sure you have a lot of alpha from the army. Just going through basic training, you’re like, “rawr.” You get it. There is something that will never, ever leave you, ever. That is within your essence as a man. It’s not about being your brother. It’s about being a better version of yourself who will take care of his woman on a higher level.

If there’s something that will never leave you, that is your essence as a man—a better version of a man who will take care of his woman on a higher level.

It’s weird. I know this will make me seem a little like a douchebag, but I will be vulnerable for a sec. I went through this experience, and it’s not terrible. No fighting involved. Let’s talk a bit about some feelings I had that made me feel like a caveman alpha.

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine was also in the Air Force, and he’s like 6’3” tall, and I’m about 6’0”. We were redoing my floor. They’re sawing, lots of ripping, and very manly testosterone activity. 

Then he and I went to lunch. I live in Los Angeles like you. We’re getting lunch. We sit there waiting for our lunch to come and take a to-go. Both of us saw two dudes that were smallish and looked weak. We both look at each other, and we’re like, why do I want to punch those guys?

We didn’t. We did not, but we both felt it immediately. We’re like, “do you feel like punching those guys?” And he’s like, “oh, totally.” Wow, that’s weird. Let’s eat and get out of here. That’s it, though. That primal male sort of stupidity. Our inner genes.

You got to accept it. Don’t call it douchebag.

Okay, good. We didn’t punch them, so that’s good, right?

This is a part of your shadow where you see yourself like, “oh my God. When I’m a caveman, I’m a douchebag,” blah-blah-blah. “I hate myself that I’m like that. This is not the case. I should be embarrassed.”

No. You got to be like, “oh my God. This is awesome. I have this primal instinct. I want to punch those little dudes. This is so funny. I love my part. I love this part of me. Let’s move on and have dessert.”

It makes sense, though, because the caveman, whenever you see a little dude, that’s what you want to do.

Yeah.

All right. Well, this has been a blast. Let’s wrap up. I appreciate all of your insights. I know you have a hard stop in six minutes. So let’s do that.

I love talking to you. I wish I had more time.

We’ll have you back and do this again. This has been a blast. You are at stellarlifepodcast.com and orionsmethod.com. Everybody, go check out Orion’s stuff. This has been a blast. Thanks.

And thank you. You’re wonderful.

All right. Have a good one.

You, too.

All right. Bye-bye.

Bye.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓}Treat every circumstance in your life as a gift. Everything you experience brings lessons that will help you grow into a better person.

{✓}Don’t limit yourself. You have the power to either make or break it. Life is short, and you need to live it to the fullest.

{✓}Open your heart to possibilities. See potential instead of limitations; competence instead of mediocrity; hope instead of indifference; radiant beauty instead of imperfection.

{✓}Set clear boundaries to build trust and healthy relationships. Saying no or enough is good for your health, especially when situations hurt you more than they benefit you.

{✓}Work on healing the pain of your past. Transformation begins with healing. This will allow you to move forward and open up more opportunities. 

{✓}Practice self-love. Self-love is the key to mental well-being and keeps depression and anxiety at bay. It is not being selfish but putting yourself first and not being too tough on yourself.

{✓}Hold your standards high. Don’t waste your time on someone who will treat you less than you deserve. Knowing your value is key as it allows you to see how lucky someone is to be in a relationship with you.

{✓}Awaken your inner goddess by embracing womanhood fully. Femininity embraces change, improvement, and being closer to your inner self.

{✓}Balance your masculine and feminine energy. A healthy balance of masculine and feminine qualities can help you be goal-oriented yet surrendered, logical yet intuitive, and confident yet receptive.

{✓}Respect and hold your partner in high regard. Encourage and help elevate them, and create a space for you and your partner to shine in your own masculine and feminine energies.

Links and Resources