Stellar Conversations: Returning to Love with Orion Talmay

A Personal Note From Orion

A lot of people find love in the wrong place. The place to look for love starts internally. Become a magnet for love rather than a hunter of love.

I’m thrilled to share my interview on The Well Woman Show with Giovanna Rossi. In this episode, Giovanna and I talk about how we can love ourselves to attract love. I also explain how I practice love based on forgiveness, movement, and joy.

This episode will inspire you to open up, learn to forgive, and follow true love. So, without further ado, on with the show!

In This Episode

[00:40] – Orion shares her appearance on the Well Woman Show with Giovanna Rossi, where she sheds light on awakening your inner goddess, releasing the past, and returning to love.
[04:53] – What are the things that Orion is working on that impact most women on becoming a love magnet?
[07:18] – Orion’s point of view on searching for love and the steps to finding your soulmate.
[10:22] – Orion talks about loving and accepting yourself to give permission to other people to love you back.
[14:50] – What happens when people become attached to their struggles?
[16:45] – What ignites you to become awakened?
[20:31] – What does success in life mean to Orion?
[24:51] – Orion shares a superpower she discovered within her.
[27:17] – Does Orion identify herself as a feminist?

Jump to Links and Resources

About Today’s Show

Today’s topic is how to awaken your inner goddess, release the past, and return to love with Orion Talmay.

Hi, Giovanna Rossi here. Welcome to another episode of The Well Woman Show, where I interview women leaders, executives, and entrepreneurs about their lives and their road to becoming and being who they are today.

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This week’s episode is brought to you by the Well Woman SuperPOWER Retreat on October 26 and 27th in Santa Fe, New Mexico, at Sunrise Springs Resort. Join us to awaken and unleash your superpowers.

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By forgiving, you open your heart, release the past, and return to love because you are love. Love is who you are, and it's your essence. Click To Tweet

Today’s topic is how to awaken your inner goddess, release the past, and return to love. Hopefully, by the end of the show, you’ll be inspired to open up, experience forgiveness, and follow your desire for love.

When I talked to Orion Talmay—and I’ll introduce her in just a minute—she emphasized that this is not only for people trying to find a new partner but also for people in a relationship who want to deepen their connection with their partners. So whatever stage you’re in with your love and your partner, this is definitely a great episode for you.

Becoming the One by Sheleana Aiyana

My guest today is Orion Talmay, a love coach and international speaker. She works with successful high achievers and helps them unleash their feminine power and become a magnet for conscious relationships and love. She’s also a contributor to intent.com and The Huffington Post.

If you listened to my interview recently with Mallika Chopra, she’s the creator of intent.com. So you can go back and listen to that interview. It was a couple of episodes ago.

In this episode, Orion and I talk about how we can love ourselves to attract love, how her love practice based on forgiveness, movement, and joy led her to find the love of her life, and how exercising the self-love muscle is an ongoing commitment.

The free giveaway today is How to Become a Love Magnet. You can get it at wellwomanlife.com/082show. I really like this giveaway because it gives you very specific actionable steps you can take right away to stop hunting for love and start attracting it—two very different things.

Before we begin, this year’s retreat is on October 26th and 27th in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I mentioned it at the beginning, but I want to mention it one more time. Go to wellwomanlife.com/retreat for more information.

You can also join the conversation in the Well Woman Life Community group at wellwomanlife.com/facebook.

Now, to my interview with Orion Talmay. Welcome to the program.

Thank you for having me.

I wanted to start by having you explain to my listeners what you are working on and how it impacts women’s lives and well-being.

I am working on helping women awaken their inner goddesses. I usually work with the alpha types. I help them awaken that amazing part of them that has been suppressed living in a man’s world so they can stop looking for love in all the wrong places and attract their soulmate.

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I love it. I definitely want to dig into this. What do you mean by living in a man’s world? Can you talk more about that?

Yeah. Especially for us, women entrepreneurs and strong leaders, there is so much to do. We definitely are using a lot of our masculine traits. When I say masculine and feminine, it’s just talking about the energies and the polarity in the energy. We use a lot of that focused, directed, conquering, strong, and logical energy to move through life where there is a part of us that feels like a deep breath. It feels like flow. It feels like ease. It feels like fun and childlike energy.

That part of us sometimes gets pushed aside. A part of us taking care of ourselves, the part that doesn’t feel so stressed and feels more like a goddess, is being suppressed. In the past, many women, including me, looked at this part as vulnerable, weak, and almost unwanted. We did not want to be perceived as weak. Or we didn’t want to get hurt. So eventually, I shut down that part of myself at some point in my life.

Yes, I completely hear what you’re saying. I want to pick up on something else you said in the introduction about looking for love in all the wrong places. That is something that I hear a lot about. I certainly also did that in my early years. What do you mean by that? What are you talking about there?

When you change your inner world, the world around you changes.

I was coaching a client of mine a couple of days ago. She’s beautiful, tall, blonde, super successful, amazing, and sweet. She’s very driven in her career. She’s very into focusing on her career, but she’s eventually concluded that she wants to find the relationship of her dreams. She says, “Well, you know what, I am going to be traveling with Oprah Winfrey, and I’m going to be surrounded by women, so I can’t find a guy. I’m not a drinker, so I can’t go to bars and meet a guy there.”

There’s always this idea of where am I going to find that person and how am I going to get to that exact place where he is so I can show up and say, “Hey, hello, this is me, look at me? Or I’ll go and seduce him and hunt him.” So that hunting energy, that idea of I need to find him and I need to hunt him, is a problem in many cases.

When I say looking for love in all the wrong places, it’s not going to be a physical place, and it’s not going to be something outside of yourself. The place to look for love starts from the inside. You become a magnet for love rather than a hunter.

That is basically the core of your work and your approach to your work.

Your soulmate can sit near you and talk to you. You can go on a date, but you won’t even see him for who he is if you’re not in the right state of mind.

Yes, this is it. I believe in increasing our vibration so it matches our ideal partner because when we change our internal world, the world around us changes. Your soulmate can sit near you and talk to you. You can go on a date, but you won’t even see him for who he is if you’re not in the right state of mind. You’re not going to give him a chance, or you’re going to repel him because where you are mentally is not the same vibrational match to his at that moment.

Yeah, definitely. Please walk us through a little bit of your method because I think this is very interesting for a lot of women listening who have been so focused on their careers and other parts of their lives, and then they wake up, and they’re like, oh, I need to find that relationship too. So they set about it in a very type-A personality way. They’re like, I’m going to find this now. What would you say to that? What would be some of the first steps that you would recommend?

The first step I recommend will be forgiveness—forgiving yourself for whatever happened, opening that baggage of blame, shame, and guilt, and embracing who you are so you can open your heart for love.

Also, when I say forgiveness, it’s forgiving the people that hurt you and even going so far as asking for forgiveness from them. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but when you do that, you are taking ownership of your part in attracting, engaging, and communicating with that person that hurt you because, from a place of ownership, you can move on in a stronger way.

By forgiving, you open your heart, release the past, and return to love because you are love. Love is who you are, and it’s your core essence.

By forgiving, you open your heart, release the past, and return to love because you are love. Love is who you are, and it’s your core essence. When you connect to self-love, body love, loving what you have, and a place of gratitude, you increase your vibration and show up in the world differently. You see the world through different filters.

Another amazing practice I love to coach my ladies is connecting their bodies through central movement, awakening that part of them, that base chakra, Kundalini energy, and every woman has feminine essence. The part of them that feels so juicy, sexy, and alive.

A lot of it can happen through movement. We store a lot of trauma in our bodies. Go to somebody who’s a healer, with deep tissue massage or some energetic work. That can help remove the trauma from the body and lymphocytes in the body—moving the body in a central way, touching your body while you’re moving, and dancing. When nobody’s looking, just put on a song, start moving slowly and sensually, touch your body, embrace your body, thank your body, and accept every little part of your body. That’s important because when we love and accept ourselves, we give permission to other people to love and accept us.

Orion, this is not just for romantic love and romantic relationships, right? This is actually the foundation of all relationships. Or do you mostly focus on the romantic side?

I focus on the romantic side because it really helps many women, but I also work with women in relationships. How many times do we need to practice self-love? Should we practice it for a day and then forget about it for the rest of our lives?

When we love and accept ourselves, we give permission to other people to love and accept us.

It’s like going to the gym. You have to keep training that muscle over and over again. So many women are in such bad shape when it comes to developing the self-love muscle. They need to get into a regime of looking at themselves in the mirror and saying I love you and awakening that part of them because if you neglect it, nobody else will awaken it.

It starts with you. By having that awareness, I’m already planting seeds in the listeners’ minds. They’re like, “Wait, what? Can I have so much fun too? Is it okay to love myself too?” Oh, yeah, totally.

What about women who are closed, in a way that it’s a struggle to open up and to do that? What would you say to those women? I’ve talked to quite a few women looking for relationships, and they try different things, and it’s just a constant struggle.

It can be because some people are attached to their struggles. It becomes a part of their identity. Who am I without my struggle? Who am I without my depression? Who am I without my hardship? That can be one.

Actively look for joy because your purpose in life is to have fun and pleasure.

Two, they haven’t tried everything. People say, “Oh, I tried everything,” but in reality, they tried one thing, two, or three things repeatedly. There’s so much information out there. It starts with desire. If you truly have the desire to be awakened, you will find the right teachers, the knowledge will come on your path, you will take the right classes, you will connect to the right mentors, you will connect with me if you like, and that will help that person open up.

I was in a very dark time after going through an abusive relationship where I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without crying. I hated myself, and I was hitting rock bottom. I was carrying a shield that was so thick that I couldn’t date anybody for more than a few dates, but I had the desire to learn.

Everything opens up from a place of fun and joy.

It doesn’t even have to cost money. Go and find joy. Look for joy. Our purpose in life is to have fun and joy. Everything opens up from a place of fun and joy, so watch funny YouTube videos. There’s so much free information on Google, but when a person invests the money and pays for the learning, they are more committed. That’s what I’ve done. I spent thousands and hundreds of thousands of dollars to learn from the best in the world because I had the desire to change. It starts with desire.

Yeah, I totally relate to that. When you focus on that, it can take a long time, and it can be really scary. It takes you to a place where sometimes you don’t want to face those things. But you get over it and come out the other side, so I encourage listeners. If you’re thinking, yeah, I want to take this on, I want to get really deep and real, it’s a journey for sure, but it is such a worthwhile journey.

It’s not going to happen in a day, but if you’re going to do one little thing every day, eventually, looking back, you won’t believe the person you became. You won’t believe how amazing you feel. It’s about persistence and getting outside of your comfort zone. It takes courage.

If you’re going to do one little thing every day, eventually, looking back, you won’t believe the person you became. You won’t believe how amazing you feel.

I do a lot of shadow work with women where I help them embrace their shadow side, so it’s not in the way. It has to do with self-acceptance. Accepting everything involves feeling, accepting all your emotions, and moving through.

I want to ask you a few questions here, Orion. The first one is, what does success in life mean to you?

Success is waking up in the morning feeling like you have so much to achieve, feeling excited about your day, and being grateful for what you have.

When did you know you were good at what you do?

I have testimonials. Sometimes, I don’t know if I’m good at what I do, but other people tell me that I do, so I’m like, yay. I can see the transformation; I can feel a transformation. I see them changing, attracting their soulmate, and changing direction. So I don’t know if I’m good at what I do, but I’m good at connecting to the source and allowing that to channel through me.

What is a daily personal habit that contributes to your well-being?

There’s an app; it’s called Things. I just love it. It helps me organize my day and all my to-do list and helps me keep my sanity. I also practice NLP meditations and guided meditations.

My greatest superpower is being myself – even my ugly self, quickly relating to people on a soul level, and spreading love. Click To Tweet

NLP is?

Neuro-linguistic programming. I love to do a few minutes of gratitude. That’s really helpful. When I feel like I’m disoriented and I’m a little bitter, I’m just going in gratitude, and in five minutes or less, I’m almost in tears in gratitude for everything that I have. Gratitude is powerful because the more you’re grateful for something that you have, the more the universe will provide more of that.

When you do your gratitude practice, is this written, or do you think it through in your head?

I don’t know if I’m good at what I do, but I’m good at connecting to the source and allowing that to channel through me.

I am thinking it through in my head. What am I grateful for? I’m thinking about what moments in my life I’m proud of. Who are the people in my life that I’m proud of? What are some funny moments I can bring into my present day? What are some things that I’m grateful for in the future? Things that are going to happen in the future that I’m going to be thankful for.

Great. Gratitude practice is so important. But, also, I think it’s wonderful when we get to the point where we have a daily practice where no matter what’s happening, we have tools to turn to and use at the moment so that it doesn’t take over and end up being a real negative impact in our day. But, still, we can respond at the moment with whatever tools we have.

Do you have a practice?

Yeah, definitely. I do Byron Katie’s The Work for this particular example that we’re talking about where you need it.

Oh, I love her.

I just interviewed her.

Oh my God, she’s awesome.

I’m thinking about what moments in my life I’m proud of. Things that are going to happen in the future that I’m going to be thankful for.

Yeah. It’s turning it around and loving what it is. That brings in gratitude.

When something bad happens, my husband and I are like, “What’s the gift in it?” So he’s like, stop coaching me.

I love it because it is so powerful. So what superpower did you discover you had only to realize it was there all the time?

The way I relate to people. I’ve seen myself as small many times and not worthy. So why would they want to hang out with me? I wanted to be like everybody else, especially coming to the US and being different. My accent was thicker, and my cultural background was completely different, so I wanted to fit the box and be like everybody else. I belittled my life so much that I forgot what it’s like to shine.

My greatest superpower is being me and my ugly self, relating to people on a soul level pretty quickly and spreading love. Lighting people up is my greatest superpower.

Since you brought up moving to this country, where did you move from?

From Israel.

Oh, okay. How long ago?

Oh, man, 14 or 15 years.

Gratitude is so powerful. When you’re grateful for what you have, the universe will provide even more.

That’s quite a distinct difference between getting used to and starting a business here too.

Yeah, but I lived in Japan before I moved to New York, so it was a double culture shock.

Oh, wow. And now you live in California. What advice would you give your younger self? I don’t know how old you are, but what advice would you give yourself 15 or 20 years ago?

Self-acceptance and love yourself the way you are. Accept yourself just the way you are.

Some people will like you, and some will not, but you want to hang up with those who do.

My other advice connected to what I was talking about is to be who you are, don’t try to fit other people’s boxes, and shine exactly as you are. Some people will like you, and some will not, but you want to hang up with those who do.

Yes, that’s good advice. A couple of last questions here, Orion. Do you identify as a feminist?

I don’t like to identify as a feminist because I identify as a feminine goddess with a badass masculine side. A feminist is such a small box. When I think of a feminist, I think about a person burning a bra and just going to war with everybody.

I appreciate the women who paved the way for us, but I want to have more peace in my life, have that dance between masculine and feminine, and shine as I am. I feel like feminists usually try to show up as if I’m a better man than you are. I want to show up as a beautiful woman inside and out.

It’s interesting how people answer this question differently because of what the word means and the baggage it has for different people. So I want to share that on this show, I define feminism as working for social, political, and economic equality among men and women.

Show up as a beautiful woman inside and out.

Then yes, I am. I won’t go on protests, scream, and put down other people. I saw some of the International Women’s Day lectures from feminists, and I was like, “Oh, that’s a little too much.” It was too much for me, so I liked to do it more lovingly.

It’s always so difficult. It’s always hard to think about fighting for what you want but doing it lovingly and being loving and not negative.

It’s just a gentle dance. There is a place for fighting. I don’t like to put myself, like I said, in that box and that word feminist, but it’s just a word.

Orion, last question for you, what are you reading right now? What’s on your nightstand?

I have this tiny book that I carry in my purse. I have only finished half of it so far. I forgot the exact name of it, but it’s all about being the one. Being the one is about ownership. Instead of looking for other people to help you or bring you up, you are the one for others, and you’re bringing up and showing up powerfully in the world.

Instead of looking for other people to help you or bring you up, be the one for others, bringing them up and showing up powerfully in the world.

I like it, but another powerful book that shaped my life was The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy.

Cool. We’ll link to that in the show notes and link to your information so people can find you. Thank you, Orion, for being on the show today.

Yeah, thank you very much. I also invite your listeners to listen to my podcast, stellarlifepodcast.com. I would love to have you listen to that as well.

Yeah, stellarlifepodcast.com. We’ll link to that in the show notes as well. It’s been such a pleasure. Thank you so much.

Thank you very much.

That’s it for our show today. Remember, if you need support to live your well woman life, head to wellwomanlife.com/facebook to join us.

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For feedback, comments, or just to let me know you are listening today, find me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, @wellwomanlife. I’m Giovanna Rossi for The Well Woman Show. Until next time, have a super powerful week.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

{✓}Work on healing the pain of your past. Transformation begins with healing. Your healing journey allows you to move forward and find better opportunities.

{✓}Exercise self-love daily. Self-love means embracing everything about yourself – especially the imperfect parts. Remember, prioritizing yourself is never an act of selfishness.

{✓}Forgive yourself and others. Letting go and offering yourself forgiveness can help boost your feelings of wellness and improve your image of yourself.

{✓}Work on becoming the best version of yourself before looking for a partner who deserves your love. Your vibrations attract the people who come into your life.

{✓}Don’t deny your negative emotions. Allow yourself to feel your feelings before letting them go. If you try to escape your emotions, they will show up differently, hurting you more.

{✓}Practice moving and stretching your body – through dancing, yoga, martial arts, etc. These activities will allow you to express yourself and move your body optimally. When you move your body in a certain way, you can also impact your emotions.

{✓}Awaken your inner goddess by embracing womanhood fully. Femininity embraces change, improvement, and becoming closer to your inner self.

{✓}Balance your masculine and feminine energy. A healthy balance of masculine and feminine qualities can help you remain goal-oriented yet surrendered, logical yet intuitive, and confident yet receptive.

{✓}Practice affirmation. Self-affirmations can strengthen self-worth by boosting your positive opinion of yourself and confidence in your ability to achieve your goals.

{✓}Open your heart to possibilities. See potential instead of limitations; competence instead of mediocrity; hope instead of indifference; radiant beauty instead of imperfection.