Deborah Knight

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O: Hey, welcome to Stellar Life podcast. How are you doing today? I’m hoping that you are having the best day or night ever. I’m very excited to introduce to you my friend and an extraordinary coach, her name is Deborah Knight. She’s been a lifelong learner and a practitioner of all things relationship and energy. In this episode, she’s going to teach you how to connect and manifest things in your life through connecting to your heart’s energy. Deborah studied co-active coaching through CTI and is certified law of attraction practitioner. She uses her skills and experience facilitating workshops, seminars, one-on-one and group coaching. Deborah’s main interests are in connecting each of us to our own inner source of divine love, doesn’t that sound so yummy? Just the connection to divine love. Love, the most powerful force in our universe. She helps you become aware of the energy around and within you and using the energy of the heart to manifest your desires. Now, without further ado, onto the show. Hey Deborah and welcome to Stellar Life podcast.

D: Hello, Orion. How are you?

O: Oh my God, I love your voice today. It’s so seductive and nice.

D: It’s a little raspy.

O: Yeah, both of our voices. We’ve been friends for a while now and I appreciate our friendship. I also believe that you are so smart and so spiritually connected that you can really influence the hearts and minds of our listeners today. We’re going to talk about the matrix and the realm of the unknown.

D: I love it.

O: Before we start, why don’t you just share a little bit about yourself, who you are and what do you do.

D: Sure. Deborah Knight. I’m a coach for mostly women. I deal with courageous confidence and using the universal laws in attracting love into your life. Universal law is my favourite thing to talk about, especially in conjunction with love.

O: Right.

D: I think I’m in the right place with you.

O: Always.

D: Yes.

O: What are some universal laws that you live by?

D: First one is the law of gratitude. Gratitude is so important. It’s one of the higher vibrations. It is actually above love. I actually live by the Hawkins Vibrational Scale, which actually will put out for you. It has a number attached in the [00:04:20] scale of what are emotions and how much energy is put out by our emotions. I think if you listen to anybody who has made major changes in their life, they will say that gratitude was one of the biggest changes that they made on a continual basis consistently, being grateful for everything that they had in their life at the moment. A lot of people want, desire, and wish. Instead, it’s really the opposite that actually gets you everything in your life. It’s being grateful for what you have right now. The more grateful you are for what you have, the more the universe gives you things to be grateful for.

O: The idea of higher vibration can be very much an abstract. What do you think are the benefits of gratitude?

D: Actually, it puts your heart in a great place. When you do start becoming more grateful for the things around you, you become happier. You become a happier, more joyous person. Stress kind of disappears in your life. I know for me, the more grateful I am, the less judgmental I am. That, I think for me, has been the biggest, the most rewarding change in my life because I don’t tolerate judgment anymore.

O: Nice. What’s the practice for you in your life? You just wake up in the morning and say thank you, thank you, thank you or when a bad situation happens, you just stop and say, “What’s good in it?”

D: Both, actually. I have a morning ritual that I do. First, I read my journal of all the things that, may be contradicting myself a little bit, but it’s all the things that I want my life to be. But instead of wishing for them, I’m grateful for them already in my life. Anything that I want, I’m already grateful for it being in my life. I go deeper and I would say at least once a week, I get in a place of just extreme gratitude for my life, my family, my home, even my car. I love my car. It’s just a thing.

O: I love it.

D: I get to a point where you have to really feel it. You can’t just say, “Oh, I’m grateful for the love of my children.” You have to feel it on a really deep visceral level. I think that’s the difference. I literally will make sure I do that at least once a week. I get to the point of tears because I’m so grateful for what I have.

O: Wow.

D: That’s the difference though. It’s feeling it to the core of your being.

O: Wow. That’s so powerful.

D: That’s the first thing I do. I always meditate. Sometimes, if I’m really not good at it, or if I’m feeling at all like I’m getting out of control, or I’m beginning to get a little stressed because I have so much on my plate, that’s when I know I need to meditate the most. That’s when I know I’m doing too much and not being.

O: It feels so counter intuitive because when you’re in the midst of doing, doing, doing, the only thing you want to do is to keep doing because that will get you to your goal and then you get so stressed out then you feel like, “I have to do more, and do more, and do more.”

D: Exactly. It’s the durable wheel.

O: The what?

D: The durable wheel. Most here in the States, I will say, are on the durable wheel of life. We’re taught at a very young age, “Oh, you finish school then you go to college then you get a job then a career and then a family.” It’s constantly doing things for me and bringing things in from the outside getting, right?

O: Right.

D: It is counter intuitive because the moment I stop and just start meditating and enjoying my life again, that’s when the magic kicks in. You can’t just meditate your life away. You have to take inspired action. But when you’re meditating, the inspired action and the intuitive hits come to you so you’re not having to work so hard for them.

O: What would be a good way for somebody who is listening to start meditating if they have never done it or it never worked for them?

D: Great question. I actually realized when I started looking into meditation, I realized that I was already doing it on my own. What I was doing before was just when I lie in the sun, I’m a beach girl.

O: Nice. You should live here near me in Santa Monica. We should go to the beach together. Come visit.

D: I know. We’re on opposite ends of the country. It’s funny.

O: I want you closer.

D: You don’t go swimming much. Actually, one of my best favourite beaches is in your side of the country.

O: Nice.

D: Pfeiffer State Beach.

O: Okay, never been.

D: It’s pretty small. But back to the meditation, when I would lie on the beach, I would go into a meditative state naturally. I would literally see my body melt into the sand and I would be above my body. I could hear everything around me but it was in the distance.

O: Right.

D: As I was really learning about meditation, I’m going, “Oh my God, I’ve been doing this forever.” And then I started walking. I’m a walker too. That’s how I get out in nature as well. That again, I never listened to anything. I didn’t have my earphones on. I was just in the moment. That, again, is a way to meditate. I would say that most of our listeners are probably doing some form of it now and believe me, it is very natural to go into thought every two seconds. Every two seconds, your brain is going to go into a thought as you’re meditating. The more aware you become, you just pull yourself back to your breath.

O: Sometimes, cooking is a meditative practice for me.

D: Absolutely.

O: When I cook vegetables, when I cut the vegetables, I don’t know. The colors, the action of cutting it, the smells, and the feel of it, this alone can put me in a meditative state.

D: Absolutely. That’s why I say so many people think they can’t meditate and I’m like, “No, you probably already are and it’s in doing something that you absolutely love that pulls you out of the thought, the monkey chatter that goes on in our brain and actually into the moment.”

O: Yeah, it’s simply just adding the awareness to it, moving it from doing it unconsciously to consciously doing it. You can use it as a tool whenever you want.

D: Absolutely.

O: Like in exercise, when you start doing it consciously, it will take time. You cannot just do a bicep curl once and expect to look like Schwarzenegger, right?

D: Right. Absolutely.

O: It’s a lifelong practice just like throughout your life, you need to eat well and you need to train well. It’s not a one day thing. You don’t just brush your teeth once and that’s okay. It’s a daily practice or even a weekly practice.

D: Absolutely. That’s a good point there that you brought up because it’s so important. People stop because they think it’s not working. When in reality, it really is.

O: People stop because they think it’s not working. That is such a strong statement. It’s true to doing anything in life.

D: Yeah.

O: It’s not working. It’s not working. Sometimes, it takes just this extra five minutes, taking this extra step for it to work.

D: Or like the law of attraction. People think they’ll try it for a little while and they won’t be getting anywhere. They’ll say, “Oh, this isn’t working.” But what is actually happening, it’s always working. It is always working. But what’s happening is their negative beliefs start kicking in. Let’s say they want a particular thing. We’re talking about love so you want a luscious love in your life. You’re imagining it every morning, envisioning and feeling it in your heart and then the next breath you’re saying, “Yeah right, that’ll never happen.” You know what I mean? That’s the net thought that comes up. You’re trying to do the work and yet underneath it comes this thought and that thought cancels everything out. The law of attraction is actually working. It’s giving you exactly what you’re asking for.

O: What is the law of attraction?

D: That’s actually just one of the universal laws. The law of attraction is thoughts become things, which is huge. Here’s a really good way to explain it. You first have a thought and then you have an emotion that goes along with that thought but there’s actually space in between the thought and the emotion, and that’s where as you become more aware, you can change the emotion to make sure it is in alignment with what you want. Does that make sense?

O: Yes.

D: The emotion is actually what is attracting everything to you. It’s really not your thoughts. It’s the emotion. That’s why it’s so important to stay in a higher vibrational emotion.

O: Right.

D: Love, gratitude, joy, peace. When we’re in grief, jealousy, sorrow, pain, shame and guilt, two of the biggest, lowest vibration, then we’re going to just attract more things that are going to give us those emotions.

O: Right. There was that movie, The Secret, a few years back. Everybody was raving about it but also some people did not like it because they expect that you just think about something to happen and then immediately, it happens in their lives. It’s almost like they expected to win the lottery without buying the ticket.

D: Right. The Secret didn’t do service to the law of attraction, I think because they really didn’t emphasize the main piece.

O: Right. Is it thoughts become things or thoughts become actions, become things?

D: Right, it is an action to change your thought, to change the emotion. Emotions, you feel them in your heart, right?

O: Right.

D: So the heart actually has, and I’m going to get it wrong, 10,000 times more energy, emits more energy than the brain. Think of it this way. When a child is conceived, the very first thing that develops is the heart. It’s not the brain. The brain is not the center. It’s the heart. The heart controls everything. That’s really a good way for people to understand the difference between our thoughts and emotions and how this universal law works.

O: Nice. I had on this podcast, Dr. Demartini, who was in the movie The Secret. He’s one of my greatest mentors. I love him. I know him personally. He has such a brilliant mind. He said that for the movie The Secret, they did a, I don’t remember exactly, but maybe an eight hour or seven hour long interview with him. And then for the secret, they just had a few minute clip, video clip, and he said, “This is why it did such a disservice to people because my whole message was just shortened down to one clip or two little clips. The Secret was designed to just deliver the big promise. It’s easy to just do it and it helped a lot of people become more aware to the law of attraction.” With Dr. Demartini, with Esther hicks, they both are saying, and when I attended Esther Hicks’ seminar, she was saying the same thing about The Secret where the whole action part of take action for your dreams was missing from the movie.

D: It certainly was. You can’t just sit around all day and visualize. It’s the inspired action. You have to take action, bold and fast. The universe likes fast.

O: Right. I was just at a gathering with a medium called Red Eagle. His name is, I forgot his real name. I remember the entity that he communicates. Anyways, he is amazing, amazing human being. When he channels this entity or entities, he gives coaching to people and one of the things that he said was around the idea of taking fast actions. He said if you have a book in you, don’t linger and just wait with it for years and years to come because when the knowledge is being channelled through you, you’re going to take action right away and bring you to the world. Like you said, Deborah, the universe rewards you for taking action.

D: Yeah, it really does. It wants you to be happy. I’d like to talk about something that I think is really important and it ties into the fast action, is that each one of us are born with a desire inside of us. If you’ll notice, talking to whether it’s clients or friends, that each one of us has a different desire. Some people love and want to paint all day long. Some people want to talk to people all day long. Some people want to swim all day. These desires are implanted in us for a reason. They are our gift that we are to bring to the world. That’s where if you’re thinking about your gift, and you don’t take action on it, it’s never going to happen. Usually, it’s because people are afraid. They become afraid and then fear is a little vibration. That desire just keeps getting buried and buried and buried inside their heart. If people could just finally realize and notice that, “Oh, that is my gift.” It’s almost selfish to not bring it to the world. When you think of it that way, it makes it easier to take the courageous action because it is scary. Sometimes, it is scary.

O: Right. I just remembered the name of the medium. His name Riz Mirza. His website is rizmirza.com. Just to put it out there if anybody wants to learn more about him. I love what you’re saying. I also want to share that when I was 21 or 20, was it? I don’t know. I just finished serving in the IDF, the Israeli army. I wanted to break free. I remember the time I used to sell cars. I didn’t even have a licence and I sold cars. God knows how I did it.

D: Because he wanted you.

O: It wasn’t my calling. There was this inspiration in my heart to go beyond my lineage, beyond the beliefs of my friends and family, and to explore something else. I remember reading a book about Japan. It just showed all the beautiful places in Japan. One of the things that I did was I was highlighting all the places I want to go and just thinking to myself, wouldn’t it be nice to be there? I really saw myself there. I remember just reading it and fantasizing about what it’s going to be like to be in Japan. Because I was so inspired, I took action. I took inspired action. I think two days later, I met with my manager at the showroom and I was like, “Listen, I’m going to give you a two week notice.” He’s like, “Huh? Aren’t you afraid? The economy and this is a good job?” I was like, “Yeah, thank you very much. I’m giving a two week notice.” Two weeks later, I was ready to go to Japan. I had my ticket. One night before I left, I was just doing last minute shopping and this lady at the store told me a horror story about these two girls that went to Japan and they didn’t have anywhere to go to and it was snowy and they were homeless, terrorizing me the night before I go. This is just the way the universe tests you just before you are about to take the big step, the big action, the little voice will come from within, the little voice will show up in the way other people communicate with you. You need to be so locked into your vision and what you want to achieve with that. It shouldn’t matter. It can be scary but you’re going to feel the fear and do it anyways.

D: Exactly.

O: I went to Japan and ended up staying for three and a half years. The rest is history. That inspiration and taking inspired action is so important. Another thing that I did when I was there, I remember I lived in Omotesando. It’s just a beautiful area with tons of designer shops. If you keep going straight, you go to Yoyogi Park and there is the Harajuku market with all the Harajuku kids. It was a really cool area to be in. Every few blocks, there was a Shinto temple. I remember just walking there and ringing the bell and throwing a coin and then clapping, one, two, three, and say thank you my guides, thank you for bringing me. Being in that state of gratitude and gratitude and gratitude because it’s so important.

D: It really is.

O: Why don’t you share a time in your life where you were following you heart, taking inspired action, and being in such amazing gratitude?

D: This is one of the first times when I really saw universal law work for me. This was years ago. I was a single mom raising my kids. Money was tight at that point. I actually wrote a check to myself for a certain amount of money and it was so far away from what I had ever achieved in a year in my life. I remember seeing this ad in the paper. It was for a general manager of a restaurant. I have never done that before but I went to the interview. They hired mo on the spot for more than what the check was that I made to myself.

O: Nice.

D: For me, it really put me on the path of learning more about universal law because it was proof right there. I had it. It happened. Was I scared? Yes, a little bit. But in my mind, I knew that I was going to be making that much money.

O: Right.

D: I didn’t know how it was going to come to me. I had no idea.

O: But you took the action.

D: But I took the action. I went and I went by myself. I remember going and thinking what am I doing? I’ve never done this before. Things like that, the right people come into your life at the right time, always.

O: Sometimes, when they come into your life, you’re like, “Why the freak are you in my life? This is too painful.” But it’s always a gift.

D: Yeah, you are when I met you. That was another inspired action when I went to San Diego. I was just like, “You know what? I need to go. I‘m going.” I just made the plans and here we are friends now.

O: Yeah. Yay!

D: I know. We have a lot of work to do.

O: I love it. I love how we connect and inspire and empower each other. It’s really important. It’s so important to have good people in your life because you need the support system. You can’t do it on your own.

D: Absolutely.

O The glamour of an entrepreneur. Sit in front of a computer 24/7 and try to make people like you or know how amazing you are.

D: Yeah, but also is we both come from an abundant mentality versus lack mentality. That’s the other thing that once you start really looking into and learning more about universal law, you realize that that is one of the keys as well. Lack mentality no longer exists in your mind, in your world. It really is magic.

O: How do you develop an abundance mentality?

D: Good question. You have some great questions, my dear. I would say the first thing you need to do is to figure out where your limiting beliefs are. That is number one. Once you can dig those up and thank them. Again, here we go with gratitude. We all have limiting beliefs that will come up occasionally, especially when they’re embedded in our brain so deeply, in our subconscious mind, they will still, mine still come up occasionally but I just immediately go, “Thank you so much. You have served me and protected me for so long but I no longer need you.” It works. I make it into a game and fun. That’s the first step. It’s finding out what your limiting beliefs are and working beyond them. Basically, you have to change your neuro pathways in your brain so that you’d make new neuro pathways in more abundant mentality.

O: Our brain, people think that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

D: Science has proven it.

O: There are all those things that we grew up with that are beliefs that are not even ours. The idea of we’re all connected to a universal consciousness is very true in my life and I know that some of the limiting beliefs that I have in my life are not my own beliefs. They are my mother’s beliefs, or my husband’s beliefs, or my friend’s beliefs, or just some sort of a sea of beliefs that are just streaming constantly in our universal consciousness. Sometimes, when we’re in a low vibration, we are connected to that consciousness that is of low vibration and we download limiting beliefs that are not even ours.

D: Yes. Those ones, fortunately, are easy to look at, be aware of, and realize where they’re coming from. The deeper ones like the ones from your mom or your ancestors.

O: All those things, you grow up hearing money doesn’t grow on trees, or rich people are this and that, or you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

D: Or love is heart. How about love is heart?

O: Love is heart. All the good ones are gay or taken.

D: All the good ones are taken. Oh my gosh, yeah.

O: There are so many of those. They seem harmless but when we hear or say something again, and again, and again, it gets embedded in our subconscious mind, in our lizard brain. The part of the brain that is very primitive. It’s job is to protect us and make us right. Even when we have moments of awakening where we think to ourselves, “I don’t believe it. It’s just a negative belief.” Because you trained your lizard brain over the years to believe a certain way, then your lizard brain will just pull you back saying, “No, no, no. This is not what we believe. This is not our identity. This is just a moment of awakening and it’s going to pass so let’s go back to the negative beliefs.” That brings me to affirmations. What do you think about affirmations?

D: They help. There are people who have the affirmations pasted all over their house and yet nothing ever works.

O: Right.

D: That’s because they’ll read the affirmation and then here comes the negative thought. With the thought, comes the emotion. Affirmations can be helpful as a trigger to stay in positive emotion. The same with vision boards. Vision boards are the same. They’re just tools to use.

O: Right. Let me share with you how I mastered those tools in my life. Louise Hay, she’s a great influence in my life. She’s all about affirmations and how they work. But what I know, like you said with the law of attraction, the emotion behind it is the key. Tony Robbins calls it incantations and not affirmations. Again, it’s about vibration and how high you vibrate. If you’re saying, for example, “I’m making $1 million. I’m making $1 million. I’m making $1 million.” Every fiber of your being is just resenting even saying it, then guess what? Because of the law of attraction, you will attract more lack into your life because you are saying the words but the mentality, the emotions, the beingness behind this, is the mentality of lack. A, there are two parts. One, you can change the affirmation to something that your mind can agree with. You can go from zero to hero in a second.

D: Oh yes, the baby steps.

O: The baby steps. You can say, “Instead of I’m making $1 million, I’m mastering the game of money, or I’m getting better and better with money everyday. Everyday, in every way, I’m getting better and better.” These are affirmations that will not create resistance, that you can live with. It’s easy. If you are making $10 an hour, you can’t be expecting to make $1,000. So you can say, “I’m making $15 an hour or I’m making $50.” Whatever it is that stretches you a little bit but feels reasonable to you so the emotion and the affirmation, they’re connected. There is an alignment there. The first thing was to say an affirmation that can be believable and the second thing is again, the emotion. Do you say it and you feel good and you get in the state of feeling good? Like you said, gratitude is really key so if you can get into a state of gratitude where you’re feeling amazing, and only then say the affirmation, then it will have power over you. You will retrain your lizard brain to have new beliefs because if the thought in your mind and in your life was, “I’m not good with money. I’m not good with money.” And all of a sudden, you practice from a place of high vibration, the idea of I’m getting better and better. I’m getting better and better. I’m getting better and better. When the opportunity arises, you won’t have resistance from your lizard brain to the affirmation and to the potential action that you can take to make that money.

D: Yeah. The ego always wants to prove us right.

O: Yeah.

D: You have to separate from the ego because like you said, it is part of the lizard brain and it can really do a number on us, actually. It’s almost like it’s protecting us. It has protected us for a really long time and it’s done its job but once you can get it out of the way, then your brain is like a computer. It wants to make things right. It will figure out ways to make that believable affirmation happen for you. It will come up with ideas. It’s constantly trying to make things work. That’s what our brain does. It’s constantly thinking. Think of it as a computer and you’re just downloading some new software, right?

O: Right.

D: I love those stuff. I find it amazing. I love being in the energy of it.

O: How do you create shifts in consciousness for your clients?

D: Digging deep into limiting beliefs.

O: Can you give me an example of a success story? Somebody that you worked with and you completely shifted the course of their life.

D: One in particular, she was from India and left India with a two year old because of the arranged marriage. She was an extremely brilliant person and she was not recognized in her family but her brother was. She knew she had the desire. She recognized the desire inside of her and at a young age, the arranged marriage, it was abusive, and she’s just like, “You know what? This is not what I’m supposed to be doing.” She took her son, brought him to the States, and went on to medical school. She is now a medical doctor, an amazing person. But here’s the thing, she had these limiting beliefs about her family and about her mom. Her mom and hers relationship has always been very, very difficult. The mom has never recognized her for who she is and for all the things that she has accomplished. That’s also a cultural thing because when you’re divorced, in the Indian culture, it’s really frowned upon and you’re almost outcast. She had these not only cultural beliefs, family beliefs, mom and dad beliefs. In working with her, it’s just very emotional for me because her mom would come over here, probably twice a year, and it was always very difficult. Mom never acknowledged her for what she has accomplished. She’s a very accomplished doctor. Through our work together, she went home and was able to stand in her own worth and value. Mom and her actually had a heart to heart. They had a heart to heart and mom actually told her how jealous and how envious she was because she broke free.

O: Wow. I have goosebumps on my hips, my elbows, and my arms.

D: When she came back and told me how her mom, in any relationship, even in love relationships, if one person shifts their beliefs, and their behaviour, and their expectations, it shifts the entire relationship.

O: So true.

D: It changed her life. It changed her life, her and her mom, they do the Skype calls. It’s not like they were separate because they were always talking but it was the feeling that she had. She never felt loved by her mom and that has changed.

O: That is so sad because we don’t know for how long we’re going to have our loved ones. Sometimes, we want to have this conversation but we’re not strong enough or we didn’t convince ourselves that it’s important enough. And then, years can go by and then you won’t have any opportunity to have this conversation maybe in a letter, maybe talking to a spirit. But our time here on Earth is very limited. If you’re listening to this and you know in your heart that there is somebody in your life that you didn’t say I love you to, that you didn’t connect with the way you want to connect with, that you want to share something from the heart and bring your relationship together to a deeper, loving place, then go ahead and do it because if you right now, listening to this call, you just got this inspiration, take an inspired action. Do it today. Make the call. Make the call today.

D: Without expectation. When I coach my clients to do these sorts of things, sometimes, they’ve never experienced that heart in love in their heart so that they can go out and take the inspired action. What I actually have them do, it’s called energy transference. I have them think of a time that they were extremely happy in their life and just get there, visualize it, feel it, smell, taste whatever was going on at that moment and get in that energy. And then using that energy, switch to where you’re supposed to be right now. You borrow the energy and you stay there and then you take the inspired action.

O: Right. It’s so powerful.

D: It really is.

O: Yes. It reminds me of some exercises that I do from NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, where you anchor a powerful state from the past into your future or your present.

D: It’s basically the same thing.

O: Yes. Another thing that you can do to anchor that is like you said, Deborah, get into a state of gratitude. Get into a state of love and gratitude. Call upon things in your life that made you proud, beautiful moments, happy moments, sexy moments. Stack them one on top of the other and only then, make the call. Like you said, it’s the space of expectation because if you’re doing this, you think you’re doing it for them but you’re not, you’re doing it for yourself. You’re doing it to liberate yourself, to know that you’ve done whatever you can to connect and love. Because when you’re giving, you’re getting.

D: Absolutely.

O: Because you’re only doing this for you, there are no expectations because you’re doing it for you and you only.

D: Right. Expectations are not good in any relationship.

O: How do we manage expectations?

D: Don’t have any.

O: It’s natural to have some.

D: Yes, it is.

O: I have so many expectations for myself. Sometimes, I have to take a step back and say like, “Girl? Girl?”

D: I love it. Again, it’s going into that vibration of love. If you come from a space of love for yourself at all times, you don’t have expectations on people because you’re also emitting that love frequency. You almost can’t help it once you learn how to stay there on a more consistent basis. Just so you know, it’s very rare for anyone to stay there consistently. Always have compassion for self. Every time you make a mistake, just get right back up. Just get right back up, we all do it. Again, there’s an expectation that you need to be perfect. If you come from a space of love, compassion, empathy, you’re going to have that same love, compassion, empathy for yourself. It can’t help but be a by product when you’re looking at somebody else. Always use yourself first.

O: Right. I love what you’re saying. Especially in the circles that we are hanging out in, where people are into love, attraction, and spirituality, and self development, there is this undercurrent expectation of you shouldn’t feel bad, just change your state and boom! You’ll be just fine. What it does is just shoving everything under the rug. It’s right for men and women but especially for women, we need to feel our emotions. We need to give ourselves the grace, the self care, and the love to feel our emotions, to maybe go and cry for an hour because it’s okay. It’s okay for us to feel our emotions. But like you said, it’s about getting up and the more you master it, the faster you know how to get up. If you’re hurt, don’t stay in it for more than a day, for more than an hour, the minimum of the minimum that you are trained to stay in it, just stay in it but then bounce back like a cork. Nobody can push you down for a long period of time.

D: We go into shame and guilt and those are the lowest vibration. If you stay there, it almost is like a vortex, it sucks you in. It’s important to do something, activity, get moving, do something that makes you happy.

O: Right. When I went to India, the monks said, “Let the tiger devour you.” That means that when you have something bad happens to you, you want to let the tiger, the emotional tiger devour you and feel your emotions, but don’t stay there too long. The way they said it is don’t stay there for more than 10 minutes. For me, sometimes, I can. Sometimes, it takes more than 10 minutes. Sometimes, it even takes a day but I know that I’d always bounce back. Like you said, the techniques to change it is move your body, your physiology, it’s very powerful because if you think about a depressed person, anywhere in the world, they look the same. Sometimes, by just changing your physiology…

D: Yeah, do the power pose, do a power pose.

O: A power pose, stand like SuperWoman for 30 seconds. Lift your head up. Go and change your physical surrounding and go for a walk, do yoga, do anything physical that will shake you out of that state.

D: That’s so important.

O: Go back into what you talked about, Deborah, which is gratitude. Focus your mind on gratitude and mind your language. What are the conversations that you’re having with people? Are you blaming, shaming, or complaining to other people or to yourself? Because if you do, you’re not going to make any progress.

D: Right. There was something you said about let the tiger devour you. I just wanted to touch on that just for a second. That was one of the things that the law of attraction, or The Secret, or a lot of stuff out there don’t sit in those emotions. That is the wrong way to go about it because when you don’t allow them and feel them fully, they just rest as energy inside your body somewhere, that energy pulls you down. It’s really important to go through the emotions. Like you said, you cry for a day or an hour. Get through them. You have to actually feel through them to get to the other side. That way, they won’t stay energetically locked in your body somewhere.

O: Another metaphor from the world of nature and animals is when a tiger is chasing a deer. The deer escapes. What do the deer do? It shakes. It shakes immediately. It will shake for a couple of minutes just to let go of the trauma so it won’t store in its body.

D: Right. That’s a great analogy. It really is. All of you listeners, just remember that. Get out there and shake your body and have fun with this.

O: Let’s talk about having fun.

D: Yeah, we’re supposed to be having fun here. We make it so difficult.

O: Yes. If you’re having fun and you’re feeling great and somebody comes and points at you and says, “You’re ugly.” Do you say, “Oh my God, I’m ugly. This is so sad. My life is ruined.” Or you just look at them and say like, “What? Okay.” You just laugh it off.

D: It’s funny. You wake up in the morning and you do your hair and it’s just not the way you want it to be. You’re having a really bad hair day. Don’t you think of those days where not everything is going right for you? You don’t even attribute to the bad hair day but you have that awful feeling about and inside of you versus another day when your hair looks fabulous and everything just seems to be going well for you, do you see the difference?

O: I never linked it to my hair.

D: It’s just an example.

O: I get it. I get it.

D: Or you wake up and you step on your toe.

O: It’s like this little thing happens and then it’s just a chain of events.

D: It’s a ripple effect.

O: What do you do to stop the snowball from getting bigger and bigger?

D: Put a hat on. No. For me, I use the energy transference. Instantaneously, I can drop into my heart and connect, for me it’s connection to source. When I do that, I can’t help but feel happy and joyful. You get lighter.

O: How do you do it?

D: I close my eyes. I hold my hands out, palms up, and I just drop all my energy into my heart. I take the elevator from the mind to the heart and boom! There it is. It’s just so beautiful there, right?

O: It is. You know what I do?

D: What do you do?

O: Because I really like NLP, we have patterns. Something happens, we get mad. We get mad and we play the same thought over and over again like book in record for the next two hours. For me, it’s about breaking the patterns. If I’m in a resourceful state, I break the pattern. I don’t do it all the time but many times. For example, I just hit my toe and I’m like, “Frick, I just hit my toe. I can’t believe it. What a day.” What I can do to break the pattern and it might sound really stupid, I’ll be like, “Oh my God, I broke my toe. I broke my toe.” I start to go into a little dance. I will go to Stephan and I’ll be like, “I broke my toe.” No, I didn’t break my toe but I hurt my toe. I’ll sing or I’ll do something really silly or I’ll go and I’ll just like put water on my face or do something that will make me laugh because the moment you laugh, boom! You broke the pattern.

D: That’s true.

O: You broke the pattern. You’re just like, “Oh well, whatever. What’s next?”

D: It’s fun. If you make things fun and laugh, you gotta laugh. Laughing is just a core of life and of that vibrational energy. You said something. Do you ever do tapping?

O: Oh yes, for sure.

D: That is actually the other way. I’m actually teaching my clients how to do that themselves because it’s so quick. It’s so quick and if you don’t know how to drop into the heart, this is a physical thing to do that actually hits some meridian points and boom! With practice, it will only take seconds.

O: They can work with you on that. If somebody just wants to start doing it now, they can go to thetappingsolution.com or just put tapping in the Google search and you will see videos that will teach you how to tap. What tapping does is that you tap on pressure points from acupuncture that links to your meridians. Your meridians are energy lines that go throughout your body. When you tap in certain points and you say certain things, what it will do in a certain order, it will rewire your brain and your neurology so the impact of that trauma, the impact of that pain will dissolve and you can get even physical pain to go from a level 10 to a level 4 to a level 2 to gone. That’s such a powerful tool. When Stephan, my husband, went on a trip with the Tony Robbins platinum members, they went to Africa and they had to do micro lighting and ride a little canoe on the Zambezi River, which is a crocodile and hippo infested river. It’s really dangerous and people die there. I don’t know why they did that. Anyway, they had this man named Fred Gallo who is, he is like 80. He’s a tapping expert. He’s amazing. He just did tapping with him. Stephan has a big fear of water. He almost drowned when he was in his early 20’s and it freaked him out so he’s got a big fear of water and also fear of heights. He worked with Fred Gallo, tapping 40 minutes. He went and he did that canoe tour in the Zambezi River. He did shark diving and he did microlighting after doing that.

D: Wow. It’s amazing.

O: So powerful.

D: It’s funny because I heard about it years ago and it didn’t resonate with me very well then. Lately, I picked it up again, I would say past six months or so, and I love it.

O: Every time I feel like I’m going to get anxious or there is some kind of fear or anxiety, or hurt, or pain, I do a lot of tapping. It really helps me. What is another universal law that you live by?

D: Those are the two big ones for me. There’s so many. The law of allowance.

O: What’s that?

D: The law of allowance. This is really good for women because women, we don’t allow a lot of things into our life. It’s actually allowing good things to come to you. We think that we have to do it all. When somebody offers help to us or says I can help you, a lot of times, we’ll say, “Oh no, I’ve got this.”

O: So true.

D: Sometimes, in order for us to feel secure, we don’t want anyone else to do it. But the universe puts people in your path to help you. If that person isn’t allowed to give you the gift they’re supposed to give you, you’re cutting off the hand that feeds you. It’s almost like if you let them help you, you don’t know where that path is going to take you. But you say no and you stay on the path that you’re on. You’re asking for all these things to come to you and the universe is putting people in your way to help and you’re saying no. That’s a big one. The law of allowance is a big one.

O: Nice.

D: Even when people give you compliments, allow them the gift of giving you a compliment. If someone says, “Oh my God, you look beautiful today in that dress.” Oh this is an old rag I had in the closet. You know what that’s doing to the person that is trying to give you a gift? It’s like saying I don’t want your gift. It’s not good enough for me. It is so hurtful to the person giving you the compliment. That’s just another one of the laws of allowance. Start doing those little things.

O: Yes. Wow. What are your three top tips to living a stellar life?

D: Take care of yourself. You have to take care of yourself and love yourself before you can take care of others or love others. I’m just going to put this out there because a lot of people have this idea that you have to love yourself fully before you can fall in love. That’s not entirely true. You have to be on the path because it’s unrealistic to think that anybody fully loves themselves 100%. There is always something that we don’t like about ourselves or want to change. Don’t ever feel that you have to love yourself fully in order to seek love, or be loved, or want love. That’s number one. Number two is the gratitude state. For me, it’s a practice of staying in a higher vibration. I think it’s really important to raise the vibration of the planet and so that would bring me to number three, is to be of service. That’s what fulfils me, no matter where I am, is how can I help.

O: You love to help. I know you. You are a giver and you are so loving. If people want to learn more about you and learn how they can work with you, where you can help them break through some obstacles and attract more abundance and love into their lives, where can they find you?

D: They can call me. I’m old fashioned. I do phone calls. My number is 781-799-7871 or they can find me online at coachdeborahknight.com. Facebook is the same. coachdeborahknight.com.

O: Very nice.

D: Thank you.

O: Thank you. I’m going to have all the links in the show notes. Go check out the show notes. We’re going to also have a checklist with actionable items from the show in the show notes so go check it out in at stellarlifepodcast.com. Thank you, Deborah, so much.

D: Thank you so much for having me. I adore you.

O: I adore you too.

D: Thank you everyone for listening.